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28 Oct 05:00

Comic for 2015.10.28

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic
07 Sep 15:12

Seriously, Pancreas?

by The Awkward Yeti

Seriously, Pancreas?

Type 1 diabetes is caused by a lack of insulin production from the pancreas, wherein your own stupid immune system kills off the insulin-producing beta cells. Way to go, your body.

12 Oct 18:16

So to Speak

by Greg Ross

What do these words have in common?

DEVIOUS
EFFENDI
ENEMY
ENVIOUS
ESCAPEE
ODIOUS
OPIUM
TEDIOUS
ANEMONE
ARCADIAN
EXCELLENCY
OBEDIENCY
EXPEDIENCY

Click for solution …

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17 Oct 18:13

Unquote

by Greg Ross

“I can’t recall who first pointed out that the word ‘explain’ means literally to ‘flatten out.'” — Philip Slater

Please support Futility Closet on Patreon!

26 Oct 18:45

Near and Far

by Greg Ross

More proverbs from around the world:

  • A lover should be regarded as a person demented. (Roman)
  • Great politeness means “I want something.” (Chinese)
  • Large desire is endless poverty. (India)
  • A short rest is always good. (Danish)
  • A stumble is not a fall. (Haitian)
  • Abroad one has a hundred eyes, at home not one. (German)
  • The church is near, but the way is icy; the tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. (Ukrainian)
  • A bully is always a coward. (Spanish)
  • Failure is the source of success. (Japanese)
  • The greater part of humankind is bad. (Greek)
  • The inside is different from the outside. (Korean)
  • You are as many a person as languages you know. (Armenian)
  • By getting angry, you show you are wrong. (Madagascar)
  • Life is a road with a lot of signs. (Jamaican)
  • Old age does not announce itself. (Zulu)
  • Whether small or large, a snake cannot be used as a belt. (Yoruban)
  • He that is too smart is surely done for. (Yiddish)

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21 Oct 12:17

I love you, Maru-chan.image | twitter | facebook | patreon











I love you, Maru-chan.

image | twitter | facebook | patreon

01 Sep 02:54

teal bat buddy

by toni

teal bat buddy

16 Oct 22:57

Face Off s9: stern werewolf father

by toni

face off s9 - stern werewolf father

The “stern father” character was one of those eliminated this week on Face Off. I really loved the zombie dad idea, but didn’t want to copy it. So, I was originally going for a hard-ass military drill sergeant vampire, but thought I would play around with the basic head shape. It made for an even better werewolf. You know, because he barks orders at the kids. He remembers his own wild days howling at the moon all too well, and doesn’t want them to run with a bad pack.

15 Oct 22:36

Why there’d better be wine at networking events.

by Jessica Hagy
22 Oct 19:52

“Wish I could be, part of that world.”

by Jessica Hagy
12 Oct 11:33

The hockey-stick from hell: US incarceration per 100,000 people, 1890-today

by Cory Doctorow

thumb82

Vox parsed out the Bureau of Justice Statistics' numbers on incarceration in prisons (excluding jails) and produced this ghastly visualization tracking the transformaiton of America into the country with the highest rate of incarceration in the history of the world. (more…)

26 Aug 22:44

Where is your dog now?

by Jessica Hagy

card4680

The post Where is your dog now? appeared first on Indexed.

11 Oct 16:42

U of Texas students protest open carry gun law with open carry dildos

by Matthew Williams

carry

Students at the University of Texas at Austin will protest a new law that will allow more guns on campus.

Instead of signs, the students are protesting by "strapping gigantic swinging dildos to our backpacks," which is in violation of the campus' obscenity policy.

Jessica Jin, who set up the Campus (DILDO) Carry event on Facebook, invokes the argument that allowing more guns on campus will make students safe is a fallacy. She's urging students to send campus leaders that message by strapping on the plastic phalluses.

"You're carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I'm carrying a HUGE DILDO," Jin says in the group's description. "Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play."

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10 Oct 14:30

Watch a Tyrannosaurus Rex Train for American Ninja Warrior (He's Pretty Good!)

by Lauren Davis

Okay, so it’s actually American Ninja Warrior competitor Reko Rivera in a T-Rex suit. It’s a good thing, too, since those little T-Rex arms would have trouble on the training course.

Read more...










28 Sep 19:09

Excellent tailgate puppet theater in traffic jams

by David Pescovitz

If you're stuck in gridlock in Ljubljana, Slovenia, you might be lucky enough to be entertained by a tailgate puppet show from the Mini Teater.

"It demonstrates a true power of theater as it amuses people when being least amused - stuck in traffic jams," they write.

(via Laughing Squid)

29 Sep 19:56

“I built my rabbit a cart and now he delivers me beer!”

by Xeni Jardin

KBJzzZ

Says the uploader of this superb video, “I built my rabbit a cart and now he delivers me beer! This event marks the release of an epic accomplishment.”

(more…)
06 Oct 20:23

Cards Against Humanity & Zach Weinersmith offer full-ride scholarships to women in science

by Cory Doctorow
s53vq

Applicants need to be US permanent residents or citizens who's attending college in 2016/7. To apply, you'll need to record a short video explaining "a scientific topic you're passionate about." (more…)

06 Oct 14:46

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - The Most American Movie

by admin@smbc-comics.com

Hovertext: The most American ballet is PRO WRESTLING.


New comic!
Today's News:

Oh GOD Seattle is almost upon us. There are only about 90 general admin tickets left, so buy soon to lock a spot!

 

07 Oct 04:21

Ctrl+Alt+Del: Just in case

by tim@cad-comic.com (Tim Buckley)
Vvicked

I am constantly trying to shove the cars of asshole drivers off the road with my mind. No luck yet. Probably for the best.

07 Oct 06:44

Let's Speak English - #92 - Hashi Hanashi

by tech@thehiveworks.com
New comic!
Today's News:

There are also many rules unrelated to Dead Things, so you should definitely do a google search and read up before eating around locals in Japan! Though obviously some leniency is usually given to us foreigners ;0

Unrelated, it's always kinda weird when I draw zoomed in hands in this comic, since they're so goofy and chibi most of the time xD My typical style hands could not hold them sticks!

02 Oct 05:00

#1163; An Account of the Offense

by David Malki

If he had EATEN the hearts, I could at least understand the hunter's mindset -- but he THREW THEM AWAY like it was so much SPORT!!

24 Sep 15:33

Face Off s9: Four Horsemen – Pestilence

by toni

4horsemen-pestilence

Alright! After a few weeks of challenges that I couldn’t really replicate too well, they had a four horsemen of the apocalypse episode! My concept here is that four regular people found some pretty badass looking masks. So, like curious humans do, they put them on. The masks integrate into their bodies, make them go insane, and turn them into the legendary four horsemen. The mask of Pestilence is a gas mask.

01 Oct 07:16

Bad Machinery for October 1st

Vvicked

This is how weddings go, yes?
Surely.

16 Sep 14:58

scrawls: ghostiness: OK, but I partially disagree with this...





scrawls:

ghostiness:

OK, but I partially disagree with this headcanon, and here’s why:

1) Bruce is totally playing Gamora. You don’t think Bruce Banner has played Dungeons & Dragons before? Bruce Banner has absolutely played Dungeons & Dragons before. He played all through high school and college and when Bucky announces the campaign Bruce jumps at the opportunity because he just misses it so much (mostly rose-tinted nostalgia goggles but). So he sits Bucky down and asks him for every bit of info he can on the setting and spends a whole night with a pot of tea drafting up the five-page backstory for his space assassin and her family tree and her struggle with her relationship with the villain and comes to Bucky with a fully-ready character sheet and a list of things Bucky will need to OK before Gamora hops in.

Bucky quietly resolves to integrate as much as he can into the story, mainly because Bruce came up with some better ideas than he’d had.

2) Tony is definitely playing Quill, because Tony has never played D&D before. You don’t get to be where Tony Stark is in life and have much free time. He does what a lot of newbies do and bases a character on himself, or at least the parts he likes: clever, snarky, pre-’90s musical taste, beds space babes, heroic sometimes probably. He wants to be cool but has no idea how to be cool within this context (“My character’s name is Starlord.” “What? Tony, no.”). He hogs the spotlight all the time (all the time) but clearly has no idea what he’s doing and when someone who seems like they know what they’re talking about gives him advice he always takes (“I’m going to need that guy’s leg.” “Seriously? Alright” *Rolls to grapple*).

Quill’s backstory is primarily Bruce’s doing. Tony just handed it in with a “yeah whatever’s on there.”

3) Thor is playing Drax but didn’t join until a few sessions in when he tagged along and decided it looked like fun (“THIS PLEASES ME! ALLOW ME TO JOIN YOUR TALES OF ADVENTURE!”). He definitely needed help constructing his character sheet, but he had no problem coming up with a character. Bucky asked him what he wanted to play and got that glint in his eye and responded “I WILL FORGE A HERO WORTHY OF THE ANCIENT TALES OF ASGARD.” And he put a lot of thought into Drax, both in personal history and personality. He’s mostly modeled on Thor’s favorite Asgardian folk heroes, with some personal flaws and quirks thrown in that Thor thinks are interesting.

Of course Thor doesn’t really understand the game part of it, he’s in it for the story (“Thor what the hell man there’s no way we can take on Ronan at this level!” “AH BUT THINK OF THE THRILLING DRAMA OF THE MOMENT DRAX AND RONAN MEET AGAIN!” “We are all going to die.” “AND IT WILL BE A THRILLING TRAGEDY!”)

4) Steve is absolutely playing Rocket but what started as a complete joke ballooned into a fully fleshed-out character with a tragic backstory. Steve’s an artist, he’s a creative guy and little too creative for his own good sometimes and bouncing his ideas off of Natasha turned a simple joke into a more elaborate character dynamic than even Bruce’s. He trolls Bucky a lot and it’s even better for Steve when he really gets into Rocket’s character and plays up the drama, partly because Bucky can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

5) Somewhere in the brainstorming session, Steve and Natasha decided that Rocket has a partner who is a talking tree. Natasha pitches this idea completely straight-faced to Bucky and after the fiasco of Steve’s character idea Bucky’s just too tired to say no to the tree-man. Natasha gives him a bit of a backstory and how Rocket and Groot got together and it sounds pretty solid, so whatever, tree-man can stay.

Then when all the characters get introduced Natasha just hovers over Tony and puffs out her chest and says in her deepest voice: “I am Groot.”

And Steve snickers and nobody has any idea why.

A session later Natasha is responding to everything Tony says with that same deep “I am Groot.” and Steve goes blue in the face trying to hold in his laughter and Tony cracks and the game has to pause for 10 minutes while Nat and Steve recompose themselves.

Nat also has a better grasp of the rules than Bucky realized and completely tweaked her character into being able to do basically anything she can justify. And it’s all right there in the book, Bucky can’t even argue from a rules standpoint. They’re only level 5 Groot shouldn’t be essentially bulletproof but through some loophole in the rules, yep, there it is.

Natasha Romanoff is trained to exploit weaknesses. Of course she’s a total munchkin.

IT GOT SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER

03 Sep 16:26

A tiny fedora for your manbun

by Rob Beschizza
fedora

It "unites the best of contemporary styles in hair and hats for young men," writes an unbylined author at Capitol Hill Seattle [via Stylite, via Dan Savage]

08 Sep 17:20

Website creates fake Brooklyn bar menus on demand

by Mark Frauenfelder

shepherd

With the click of a button you can create a custom menu and name for a trendy Brookyln bar. There are a lot of places like this in LA, too, which serve pricey tapas portioned for a pygmy jerboa.

11 Sep 18:11

Photo

Vvicked

I can ID more of these than I can of the Republican candidates.



06 Aug 16:47

Arts & Sciences

by Jessica Hagy

card4666

The post Arts & Sciences appeared first on Indexed.

17 Aug 17:31

We all love a good game.

by Jessica Hagy

card4673

The post We all love a good game. appeared first on Indexed.

28 Jul 16:56

oh my gdO CAN YOU DRAW GODZILLA MOMMA CARRYING LIKE A HUNDRED LIZARD BABIES ON HER BACK FOR TAKE YOUR CHILD (lizard) TO WORK DAY

Vvicked

This is purely adorable. And the kind of parent I want to be.

oh SHOOT well i cant swing 100 but how bout

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