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16 Jan 02:16

Cadbury’s Enormous New Creme Egg Trifle Is a Thing of Beauty — Food News

by Elizabeth Licata
Rachel

I would eat this.

We're not even two weeks past New Year's, and it is already looking like 2018 is going to be the year of the Cadbury Creme Egg. First Cadbury announced that it had finally created white chocolate Creme Eggs, but that instead of putting them on store shelves like a normal company, it was going full Willy Wonka and hiding them in regular Creme Egg wrappers and making shoppers hunt for them. Now Cadbury's done something even more over-the-top and created a Cadbury Creme Egg Trifle that's absolutely enormous.

If you've ever wished for an ostrich that lays Cadbury Creme Eggs, this dessert is for you.

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15 Jan 17:38

Start With These Classic ‘ER’ Episodes Now That The Great Drama’s On Hulu

by Alan Sepinwall
Rachel

If I can break away from rewatching Black Sails, I'm going to head over and watch all of Misha's episodes :D


NBC

The ’90s were a very different kind of golden age in television than the one we’re in now. The depth and breadth of quality wasn’t nearly as great as it is today, but the best shows (Seinfeld, NYPD Blue, Frasier, Friends) were not only among the best ever made, but were often the highest-rated of their era.

No show exemplified this brief but glorious convergence of quality and popularity more than ER, the NBC hospital drama that won Emmys and critical raves, and made huge stars out of George Clooney, Julianna Margulies, and others, all while dominating the ratings with numbers that would make the producers of today’s biggest hits weep with envy. It was such a big deal, instantly, that the very first thing Quentin Tarantino chose to direct after Pulp Fiction was an episode of this show. (Season one’s “Motherhood,” which unfortunately isn’t a highlight for either Tarantino or ER.)

But because ER hasn’t been available on a streaming platform, while its repeats have appeared only intermittently on cable over the years (Pop has the current rights, airing it on weekday afternoons), its place in the pop culture consciousness has unfortunately started to fade, particularly among viewers who either weren’t alive or old enough to watch it during its juggernaut Doug-and-Carol days.

Yesterday, though, Hulu added the entire series to its library, and you can go there now to watch any or all of the 331 episodes. It’s no longer the Holy Grail of streaming dramas (that title now falls to… Homicide, probably, though Ed is the least likely to ever get streamed, due to conflicts over who owns it), and now a new generation can finally see what the middle-aged folks have been gushing about for years.

There will be adjustments, of course. This is a Great Drama from an era when that concept was defined differently. It’s primarily a medical procedural with ongoing character arcs (though some patients and other work issues stick around for many episodes), just executed at an incredibly high level, particularly through the first six or seven seasons. There’s also just a metric ton of stuff to watch, even if you decide to bolt whenever your favorite original castmember does the same.

So if several hundred — or even a few dozen — hours of hospital drama feel like too big a commitment in the age of Peak TV, here’s an ER sampler for the newbies, featuring ten of the show’s best and/or most representative episodes. I’ll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum, especially since a few of these are memorable for things that were incredibly shocking to the audience back in the day, but it’s impossible to not reveal anything.

To Trauma 2, we go!

“24 Hours” (Season one, episode one)

ER‘s first episode aired on a Monday, ahead of a scheduled showdown with 1994’s other new Chicago hospital drama, Chicago Hope, which the CBS show was expected to win handily. Instead, this movie-length pilot was such a smash that Hope barely even put up a fight on Thursdays before CBS moved it. “24 Hours” sets the show’s chaotic tone immediately, following Anthony Edward’s chief resident Mark Greene through a long shift, while rapidly introducing the other players: Mark’s bad boy pediatrician pal Doug Ross (Clooney), friendly resident Susan Lewis (Sherry Stringfield), brusque surgeon Peter Benton (Eriq La Salle), wise nurse Carol Hathaway (Margulies), and our POV character, wide-eyed med student John Carter (Noah Wyle). Michael Crichton’s long-shelved script and Rod Holcomb’s direction established an action movie aesthetic for what had been a pretty sedate genre, giving highlight moments to the whole cast — Susan giving a patient the diagnosis he doesn’t want to hear, Doug standing up for an abused child, Benton trying to play hero when more experienced surgeons aren’t available — in a way that makes clear why this was an instant smash.

“Blizzard” (Season one, episode 10)

One or two times a season, the series would do a mass casualty episode where the County General ER was overwhelmed with patients and the doctors had to come up with creative solutions to save as many as possible. This was the first, involving a highway pile-up during a snowstorm, and while the scale of these events would get bigger — leading to a self-parodying moment involving a helicopter stalking and killing a doctor seasons later — the recipe’s already addictive, particularly in a moment involving “Bob” (Małgorzata Gebel), an immigrant desk clerk who proves to be much more than she seems.

“Love’s Labor Lost” (Season one, episode 19)

ER‘s trademark was the way it quickened the pace of not only medical dramas, but TV dramas in general, but it could be plenty powerful when it moved at a more stately pace, as in arguably the show’s greatest episode, a slow-motion Murphy’s Law tragedy for a patient of Dr. Greene’s. It also features one of the earliest of many Before They Were Stars guest appearances, by Bradley Whitford as an expecting father.

“Hell and High Water” (Season two, episode seven)

If Clooney wasn’t already a superstar by the end of the first season (really, from the end of the “He’s a little kid!” scene in the pilot), he sure as heck was by the end of “Hell and High Water,” where Doug, at a professional crossroads, has to play hero when he stumbles upon a boy trapped in a storm drain during a torrential downpour. Corny but incredibly effective, thanks in large part to the steady charisma of the future Danny Ocean, “Hell and High Water” was oft-imitated, as later seasons would do at least one solo spotlight on a character saving live away from the ER (like Carol trapped in a convenience store robbery, trying to patch up a thief played by Ewan McGregor), but never close to duplicated.

“Night Shift” (Season three, episode 11)

Benton was always my favorite of the original group, even though — or maybe because (me being a cocky kid in my teens and 20s) — he was an arrogant ball-buster. The show sympathized with Peter but also never tried to sand down his fundamental abrasiveness, which can be particularly tough to watch here, in the climax of an arc guest-starring Omar Epps as surgical intern Dennis Gant, who can never live up to Benton’s intense, demanding standards. There’s a moment in during a trauma that’s among the darkest this show ever did.

“Exodus” (Season four, episode 15)

One of the fun things about the mass casualty episodes was seeing characters forced into unexpected roles. In this one, a chemical spill knocks out ER boss Kerry Weaver (Laura Innes) almost immediately, and in the chaos that follows, it’s somehow John Carter taking the lead and making sure things turn out okay. There’s also a harrowing MacGyver-style subplot where Doug and Carol are trapped in an elevator with a little girl whose life-saving equipment got left behind in the lobby because no one anticipated a blackout during the short trip upstairs.

“Of Past Regret and Future Fear (Season four, episode 20)

Among the elements that distinguished ER from most of its predecessors: patients died with a fair amount of regularity, and both the living and the dead patients were usually anonymous bodies wheeled into the emergency room to be saved, or not. (Earlier medical shows often treated the patients on narrative par with their doctors.) From time to time, the show would go against the latter idea, but usually by leaning into the former, with a Very Special Guest Star coming to die at County General. The best of these involves Michael Rapaport as a man slowly dying of chemical burns who can’t get his estranged family to come see him off, despite Carol’s best efforts. You know exactly where it’s going, but it hits very hard along the way.

(Speaking of special guests, the series did a good job over the years bringing in big names to play doctors who ran afoul of the regulars, none better than Alan Alda in an arc from the start of season six, playing a legendary emergency specialist refusing to accept that he’s not the man, or doctor, he once was.)

“Be Still My Heart”/”All in the Family” (Season six, episodes 13 & 14)

I don’t want to say too much about this two-parter, save that it involves Carter and Lucy Knight (Kellie Martin) trying to treat a mentally ill patient (David Krumholtz), and that the second half of it will leave you curled into a ball by the end of it. I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry, for recommending it.

“Orion in the Sky” (Season eight, episode 18)

If there was a fundamental flaw to the series, it was that it couldn’t shake its addiction to making its own doctors suffer in the name of drama. The ER staff had an absurdly high body count over 15 seasons, and Mark Greene in particular became the show’s equivalent of Job after a while. Still, this episode chronicling his final shift at County General — but not Anthony Edwards’ final episode on the series — is powerful because it dwells much less on the reason Mark is leaving than on what made him such a fixture in that place to begin with.

(“The Letter,” also involving Mark’s ultimate fate, is pretty spectacular, too, and I wish that had been the end of the story instead of the episode that followed it.)

“And in the End…” (Season 15, episode 22)

As the series churned over to a second-generation cast, and then a third, it became more predictable, but the craft was still strong enough that every time I checked back in after a long absence, my immediate reaction was, “Oh, right: this is why I loved it in the first place!” The feature-length series finale (also directed by Holcomb) is an understated beauty that works as both a tribute to the later characters and a love letter to the original gang, as a group of old favorites descends on Chicago to attend a charity event, while the child of an earlier character reports for their first day at County General. The whole thing’s nicely full-circle without ever pushing things too far, and it accomplishes something to which many finales aspire, but which few achieve: it makes you understand that this is the end of the story, and why, while also creating the impression that another episode could air a week later and it would work just fine.

So those are 10, but if you simply wanted to start at the beginning and keep going, you’d do well for a very long time. They don’t make ’em like this anymore, but at least now it’s easier to see what they did, and how.

For you other ER vets, what are some others you might recommend to newcomers to appreciate this long-absent classic?

Alan Sepinwall may be reached at sepinwall@uproxx.com. He discusses television weekly on the TV Avalanche podcast. His new book, Breaking Bad 101, is on sale now.

12 Jan 15:28

Rebecca falls into old patterns, but Crazy Ex-Girlfriend does not

by Allison Shoemaker
Rachel

I'm still Team Rebecca and Being Healthy, but I really LOVE Nathaniel. Damn this show.

The term “cringe-worthy” is, all by itself, totally cringe-worthy. But is there a better way to describe the emotional journey that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s mid-season premiere demands of you?

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12 Jan 15:27

Could a LOST Revival Be Coming Back To TV?

by Blair Marnell
Rachel

I would except this if it was the lost three years of Sawyer and Juliet, and only that.

We have to go back! It hasn’t even been a decade since fans escaped the island from Lost, and yet there’s already speculation about a potential reboot or a revival series at some point in the future. Hollywood just loves to resurrect old brands even when they’re relatively young. Former Lost co-showrunner, Carlton Cuse, recently resigned with ABC for the next few years, which has seemingly only reignited the Lost rumors. Today’s Nerdist News is moving the island and blowing up Dr. Arzt to determine the probability of a new Lost series.

Join guest host and Dharma Initiative graduate, Amy Vorpahl, as she runs down the latest developments. ABC President Channing Dungey told TVLine that there are no official plans to bring back Lost, but he added that “it’s something that’s on a list of, ‘Wouldn’t that be great if…,” which suggests that ABC has at least entertained the possibility of a new series.

Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof has previously thrown his support behind the idea of someone revisiting the concepts and mythology of the series, even though he has no desire to revisit it. The compelling characters and mysteries of Lost helped it become a true water cooler show, and that would be hard for anyone to replicate.

If ABC does decide to move forward with another round of Lost, there are at least three paths that it can take. One would be a full reboot that would jettison everything from the first series, save perhaps for the island and some of the mythology. A revival with the surviving characters is a very slight possibility, but it would be harder to pull off since the cast has long since moved on. The most enticing choice would be a sequel series that would focus on new characters on the island while allowing some of the older characters to potentially reprise their roles as well.

Do you want to see Lost make a comeback on TV? Build a raft and sail down to the comment section below!

Images: ABC

12 Jan 15:26

The Magicians’ executive producer on transforming Vancouver into the magical land of Fillory

by Baraka Kaseko and Marah Eakin
Rachel

HSSSSS. I'm amazed at how quickly I recoil from this show on so many levels.

Although Syfy’s The Magicians is set in New York and the magical Fillory, it is shot in Vancouver. During a recent set visit, we spoke with executive producer Sera Gamble about the tricks the showrunners employ to transform the Canadian city into Fillory.

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11 Jan 18:54

Creation Entertainment Wades Into the ‘Outlander’ Convention Business

by Sarah Ksiazek
Rachel

No Roger? Hard Pass.

Creation Entertainment is known for hosting conventions for Twilight, Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries, Once Upon a Time, and more.  Yesterday, they announced they are beginning to host conventions focused on Outlander.  Their first Outlander convention is called “Salute to Outlander” and is August 17-19, 2018 in Secaucus, New Jersey at the Meadowlands Exposition Center.

Guests that have been announced so far are Caitriona Balfe, Sam Heughan, Steven Cree, and Graham McTavish.  Other guests will be announced as they are confirmed.

The only tickets available right now are the Gold Package ($599) and a first row Gold Package ($999).  As of the time of posting, only seven more Gold Packages with first row are available, and many standard Gold Packages are still available.

As the year proceeds, other ticket levels will become available: Silver Weekend Packages (where applicable), Copper Weekend Packages, General Admission Weekend Packages, Preferred Single-Day, and General Admission Single-Day (“will be tentatively become available as we get closer”).

Photo ops and autograph tickets are also being sold, as well as tickets to attend the concert.

Please click here to learn all about the convention, and click here to purchase tickets.

Source: Creation Entertainment

10 Jan 20:36

What Books Did Pirates Read?

by Miss Cellania
Rachel

They read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations heart

Blackbeard and his pirates stole the ship The Queen Anne's Revenge in 1717 and wrecked it in South Carolina in 1718, but it was only found in 1996. Historians and conservators studying the wreckage have recovered most of the ship's 27 cannons. Inside one of the cannons was a wad of garbage that turned out to be small bits of paper. And some had readable text! So what were these pirates reading i their spare time?  

Work by conservationists from North Carolina’s Department of Natural and Cultural Resources shows that Blackbeard and his crew got a kick out of reading “voyage narratives”—a popular form of literature in the late 17th and early 18th century that chronicled the true accounts of maritime expeditions. Specifically, Blackbeard kept a copy of Edward Cooke’s A Voyage to the South Sea, and Round the World, Perform’d in the Years 1708, 1709, 1710 and 1711, detailing the British naval officer’s participation in a global expedition aboard the ships Duke and Dutchess.

Now we know there were books aboard Blackbeard's fleet, and that indicates that at least some of the crew were literate ...all from a few scraps of waterlogged trash. Read more about the find at Gizmodo.

(Image credit: Department of Natural and Cultural Resources)

10 Jan 02:18

What You Need to Know About the SUPERNATURAL Spin-Off WAYWARD SISTERS

by Kendall Ashley
Rachel

!!!

As much fun as the adventures of the Winchester brothers may be, Supernatural fans have long awaited a closer look at another team of masters-of-the-otherworldly: Sheriffs Jody Mills and Donna Hanscum, and Jody’s adopted daughters Alex and Claire. Heeding our prayers, Supernatural producers are gifting us with Wayward Sistersa show that will kick off in the form of an upcoming episode on Supernatural before taking form as a series all its own.

The show will follow the extended Mills-Hanscum-Jones-Novak extended family and all the dangers they undertake. So to help you get ready for the backdoor pilot, which airs on January 18, here is everything you need to know about the Wayward Sisters so far.

What’s the story?

While its backdoor pilot will largely play into Supernatural‘s 13th season arc, Wayward Sisters proper will follow the hunting adventures of Sheriff Jody, her adopted daughters, and her friend and fellow sheriff/hunter Donna Hanscum. While Supernatural has been pretty male-heavy, Wayward Sisters is going to give the chance for the women of this universe to shine on their own. As showrunner Robert Singer told us at San Diego Comic-Con this year, “We’ve always loved Jody’s character and the two girls…We think it’s really female-empowering. After 12 years of super-testosterone guys, we’re excited about watching what the women can do.”

Who are the returning characters?

Sheriff Jody Mills

Sherriff Jody has been working with the Winchesters for years now (and she even had a low-key thing with Bobby before he died). She first joined the hunting universe when her son and husband died thanks to a horrific supernatural event that involved the rising of the dead. If anyone gets supernatural tragedy, it’s Jody. But she’s tough and super loving, and quickly turned her home into a refuge for Claire and Alex, two girls who lost their homes and families thanks to the supernatural.

Sheriff Donna Hanscum

Sheriff Donna met Sheriff Jody on a sheriff’s retreat that was plagued by vampires. While it wasn’t her first interaction with the supernatural, it was the first she was made aware of. Since learning the truth about the supernatural, Jody and Donna have become great friends and hunters, both helping out the Winchesters and one another whenever possible.

Alex Jones

Alex is Jody’s first adopted daughter. She was taken from her biological parents by a coven of vampires and used as “bait” to lure in victims. Jody was able to save her and took her in. Unlike Jody, Alex has chosen to stay out of the supernatural life as much as possible.

Claire Novak

Claire is Jody’s second adopted daughter, and the biological daughter of Jimmy Novak, also known as Castiel’s vessel. Upon losing Jimmy, Claire’s mother spun out of control, leaving Claire to fend for herself. Claire’s mother was killed by another angel, Tamiel, who kept her captive for two years. Understandably, Claire has a lot of rage, and has channeled that into hunting, despite Jody’s desire for her to lead a normal life.

Who are the new characters?

Patience Turner

Patience is a powerful psychic and granddaughter of Missouri Moseley, also a psychic who was good friends with John Winchester. Patience’s father had begged her to stop using her powers and lead a normal life, but she felt too responsible for her friends’ lives when she could see the gruesome fates that awaited them.

Kaia Nieves

Kaia is a dreamwalker with uncontrollable powers. She finds she is often transported to what she calls “the bad place” when she dreamwalks, and had been seeking help from other dreamwalkers to find some peace. Kaia is on her own, but has helped the Winchesters find their mother in the apocalypse dimension.

Wayward Sisters Watch List

If you want a Wayward Sisters crash course, here are the episodes you need to watch!

  • Season 5, episode 15 – “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”: This episode will introduce you to Sheriff Jody for the first time and show you how she got into the supernatural life.
  • Season 9, episode 19 – “Alex Annie Alexis Anne”: In this episode, we not only get to see Sheriff Jody in action as a hunter, but also her rescue and “adoption” of Alex.
  • Season 10, episode 8 – “Hibbing 911”: Though this isn’t Sheriff Donna’s first episode, it is the first where she’s clued into the supernatural realm, and where she begins her friendship with Sheriff Jody.
  • Season 10, episode 9 – “The Things We Left Behind”: This episode reintroduces us to Claire and shows us the troubled, solitary life she’s been leading since losing her father.
  • Season 10, episode 20 – “Angel Heart”: Claire hunts down her mother in this episode, and ultimately loses her. While it’s tragic, the episode ends with Claire being sent to live with Jody and Alex.
  • Season 11, episode 12 – “Don’t You Forget About Me”: If you only have time to watch one episode, watch this one. This was the first episode where we got to see some glimpses of Wayward Sisters. It is our first look at the unique hunting family Jody has created.
  • Season 13, episode 3 – “Patience”: This episode introduces us to Patience, and gives us insight into her powers. It’s also where Jody and Patience first meet.
  • Season 13, episode 9 – “The Bad Place”: In our first introduction to Kaia, we learn about her powerful dreamwalking abilities, as well as the lonely life she’s been leading as she’s tried to find some sort of peace from “the bad place.” It’s also the last episode to air before the backdoor pilot.

Wayward Sisters is a show the fandom has been asking about for quite a long time. Everything about it is shaping up to make it great, namely a cast full of awesome women and some much-needed racial diversity. Unlike Supernatural‘s previous spin-off attempt in Bloodlines, Wayward Sisters will still feel very much like it’s firmly planted in the Supernatural universe. All in all, this spin-off looks like it will be a rad addition to the Supernatural family. We can’t wait!

Are you excited for Wayward Sisters? What are some other episodes you think someone should watch to get ready for the backdoor pilot? Tell us in the comments!

Images: The CW

Waywards SistersSupernatural, and more!

10 Jan 00:59

Creeped out by holes? Psychologists reveal fascinating origin of trypophobia

by Melissa Breyer
Rachel

SHUDDER

Many people report an aversion to clusters of holes; a new study suggests a very smart evolutionary basis for the discomfort.
04 Jan 23:20

Sterling K. Brown to Guest on Brooklyn Nine-Nine As an Unusual Suspect

by Jackson McHenry
Rachel

I hope he's accused of murdering vampires.

Sterling K. Brown at the NBCUniversal Summer TCA Press Tour at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on August 3, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California.

Randall Pearson is about to get into a little trouble with the law. Fox announced today that This Is Us’s Sterling K. Brown will guest star in an upcoming “unique” episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, in which he’ll play a murder suspect interrogated by Andy Samberg’s Jake Peralta and Captain Holt as part of an all-night episode. Sounds like a fun bottle episode! Sounds just like the classic “Three Men and Adena” episode of Homicide, which just so happened to star Andre Braugher. This time, hope for more jokes.

28 Dec 15:32

Theaters Are Posting Disclaimers After a Bunch of Babies Complained About This Star Wars: The Last Jedi Scene

by Jordan Crucchiola
Rachel

Someone in my theater asked "where's the sound?" during the silence. I was so pissed. I don't know if they were trolling or really that stupid.

null

One of the most incredible shots in The Last Jedi has been stunning some viewers into a state of confusion. The following isn’t exactly a spoiler, but it does take the edge off a particular surprise in the movie, so consider this your warning. There’s a moment in the film when the sound cuts out completely for ten seconds, and it’s totally on purpose. It adds a tremendous amount of weight to one of the movie’s many emotional scenes, but some fans have apparently been interpreting it as a technical failure on the part of the theaters. The AMC chain, for example, has fielded enough complaints from patrons that they set up disclaimers at some cinemas. The note doesn’t tell theatergoers what happens, but it does give a timestamp of when it occurs in the run time, which kind of makes it a lame spoiler anyway since you know this totally unexpected thing is going to happen at some point. Paul Scheer posted a photo of the notice on Facebook.

The visual-effects supervisor for the movie, Ben Morris, talked with Collider about the decision to frame the scene around silence. “We had always hoped that would resonate, both as a story beat and as a striking visual, and when I heard all of the cries and gasps in the silence, it was just fantastic,” said Morris. “We realized that it worked. That’s never really happened in Star Wars before.” So there. Now you’ll know that the sound system in the theater isn’t broken, but you’ve also been robbed of one this year’s great unexpected cinematic treats.

28 Dec 05:48

What's the Worst Christmas Song?

by Nick Douglas
Rachel

Wonderful Christmas Time, duh.

What’s the worst Christmas song? We asked our Facebook fans, and over 800 of them answered. All kinds of songs got named, like “I Saw Three Ships,” “White Christmas,” “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” “Auld Lang Syne,” that Chipmunks song, and the Mannheim Steamroller oeuvre. Even the Beatles took a beating. But…

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26 Dec 15:09

It's a Wonderful Life is 90% a Horror Film

by Miss Cellania
Rachel

My feelings about this movie have certainly changed as an adult. It is dark af.

The first time I saw It's a Wonderful Life, around 1986, I was alone at home and had never heard of the movie. It was depressing, long, and got more depressing as it went. I couldn't figure out where the story was going. But for some reason, I kept watching. This is not a wonderful life, I thought. George Bailey saw his dreams crushed, life was hard, and the one wealthy in town was pure evil. And when the angel showed up, it got even worse. And poor Uncle Billy!

So evidently Uncle Billy isn’t allowed to just slightly gloat in this Wonderful Life universe – he can’t even walk away from a party without crashing into something and falling down – he’s a lovably disorganized, slightly kooky guy until he’s not so lovable – at least not to George Bailey anymore. So, every time I see Uncle Billy smile and fold that newspaper with the money inside and just hand it over to Mr. Potter I nearly scream. I scream thinking of myself, too. That moment of recognition in yourself – the nightmarish thought of committing some kind of easy blunder that results in consequences so dire, that you wish you’d never left the house that morning. Or that week, for that matter. The “what if?” spiral that leads to catastrophizing – a “what if?” that will become a grim alternate reality for George Bailey, when one wishes that, one not only never stepped out of the house, but never stepped outside for a week. In Bailey’s case, he wished he had never stepped into life.

An essay by Kim Morgan explains why I couldn't stop watching the movie all those years ago. Each of the residents of Bedford Falls are well-fleshed-out real people, with their hopes and dreams and quirks. They get kicked down a lot, but they're just doing the best they can. We can see ourselves in them. The theme for most of the film is that no good deed goes unpunished. No wonder the main character is on the verge of suicide. It's a Wonderful Life is an old fashioned horror film in that it instills a spirit of dread and despair in the viewer. Read how each character is shortchanged at Beverly Cinema. -via Metafilter 

16 Dec 09:28

In Defense of Hayden Christensen’s Performance in the Star Wars Prequels

by Jen Chaney
Rachel

Sigh, if only Misha didn't talk to the pizza dude. What could have been... (honestly, I'm glad he wasn't cast. Yes, the duo of him and Ewan MacGregor would have been truly awesome, but I don't think they could have saved those movies...)

In the lead-up to Star Wars: The Last Jedi, we look back at the first Jedi (narratively speaking) with a series of stories about the much-beloved and never-disparaged prequel trilogy.

There are certain criticisms of Star Wars:Episodes I, II, and III that have been repeated so often, they’re basically accepted as part of Star Wars mythology.

Things like: The prequels were CGI’d to death. Midi-Chlorians are an abomination. Jar Jar Binks is the absolute worst. Also: Hayden Christensen is a bad actor, based on his performances in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.

Say what you will about the CGI, the Midi-Chlorians, or Jar Jar, whose intolerability has not lessened with the passage of time. But Christensen? That guy deserves a break for a whole bunch of reasons.

I spent some time this week revisiting both Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith — you’re welcome, America — and was reminded again of those films’ flaws, which include performances (and not just from Christensen) that often, though by no means always, feel stilted.

Clones is the most blatant offender in this area, which is why I believe Christensen has taken such an unfair brunt of prequel blame. Unlike his co-stars Natalie Portman or Ewan McGregor, audiences barely knew who Christensen was when he snapped on Anakin Skywalker’s Padawan ponytail. His most notable credit prior to Star Wars was the small film Life As a House, which I think it’s fair to say that large swaths of the fan base did not see.

Episode II marked Christensen’s introduction to movie audiences in general, and to the Jedi realm, where he was finally showing us what Darth Vader, one of the great all-time movie villains, looked like in grown-up form, before he became Darth Vader. Even if he hadn’t gone to the dark side yet in Clones, one expected pre-Darth to have a powerful, teasingly sinister presence. Instead he is pouty, petulant, overcome by love for Amidala (Portman), and, perhaps most surprisingly, operating on a mostly low key throughout the movie. Seeing The Last Jedi and then going back to watch Attack of the Clones is like going from a Tesla driving at 150 miles per hour to an old Cadillac that can barely climb a hill where the speed limit is 25. Christensen’s performance is representative of the film’s excessive formality and deliberate pacing. But that formality and slowness is also what George Lucas was going for as a director.

“I made the film in a 1930s style,” Lucas told the Guardian in 2002, as Clones was on the verge of its premiere. “It’s based on a Saturday matinee serial from the 1930s, so the acting style is very ’30s, very theatrical, very old-fashioned. Method acting came in in the 1950s and is very predominant today. I prefer to use the old style.”

Christensen, a young actor in his first exceedingly major motion picture, was simply trying to give his legendary director what he wanted. “Because you are cast as this character that is the connective tissue to someone who represents all that is evil … your natural instinct is to try to take him there,” Christensen told ThoughtCo. in 2005. “George [Lucas] was constantly asking me to pull back from that and to make him someone who is struggling and someone who allows his frustrations to present themselves in ways that aren’t necessarily perceived as evil but may be in other ways. And to keep it at that and to not really show any sort of a character arc in Episode II because it was more about who he was at that time in his life.”

In short, Christensen kept his emotions dialed down on purpose, in ways that may have been detrimental to the film, depending on your perspective, but that matched his director’s vision. That vision also includes some of the worst dialogue in the entire Star Wars canon. There’s Anakin’s dreadful “I hate sand” monologue, and his profession of love for Amidala that includes the sentence, “I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me.” And yet: Go back and watch that “haunted by the kiss” confession scene in Clones again. The words are still cringe-y, but Christensen delivers them with such sincerity that he almost — almost! — overcomes them.

In between Clones and Sith, another, much less high-profile film starring Christensen was released: Shattered Glass, a tick-tock tracking of the self-imposed destruction of the serial fabricator/journalist Stephen Glass. It’s an excellent movie, one worth revisiting at a time when the term “fake news” is used so casually and inaccurately. It also features a terrific performance by Christensen as Glass, who is persuasively likable, weak, arrogant, and panicked, often in the same scene. Critics at the time uniformly praised his work in the movie. The New York Times’ A.O. Scott said Christensen found “the perfect balance between creepiness and charm,” while David Edelstein, then writing for Slate, wrote, “The performances of Christensen, [Chloë] Sevigny, [Hank] Azaria, and especially Peter Sarsgaard as a prissy yet achingly vulnerable Chuck Lane are so good that for long stretches the artifice drops away and you think you’re watching a fly-on-the-wall documentary.” Shattered Glass is 95 minutes’ worth of proof that Hayden Christensen can, in fact, act.

I’d also say that Revenge of the Sith provides much more solid proof of that as well, in part because it’s a better movie than Attack of the Clones and finally allows Anakin (and Christensen) to lean hard into that dark side transition. Christensen seems to have his bearings to a greater degree in it, perhaps because he went through the “Jedi training” Clones provided. He’s more confident, and his scenes with Portman feel more natural than the ones in Episode II. He’s also able to rattle loose more emotion in this chapter of the narrative, which surely must have been a relief after reigning it in during Episode II. Is Clones a perfect movie? No, not at all. But it’s certainly the best of the prequel trilogy, largely because it finally delivers what we sat through hours of Jedi council meetings to see: Anakin finally putting on that iconic mask and becoming the mouth-breathing bad guy with the voice of James Earl Jones. Christensen deserves at least some credit for making that transition credible.

So is the upshot of this piece that Christensen isn’t to blame for his performance because it’s all George Lucas’s fault? I mean … sort of? But it’s also become so easy to dump on Lucas for the prequels’ shortcomings, and his frequently noted issues with the acting side of directing, that it feels both cliché and reductive to leave it there. The fact is that Lucas made exactly the movies he wanted to make in The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith, and told a story that sounded worthy of telling: what turns a Jedi into a dark lord. I completely understand why Lucas wanted to explore that terrain and why, if you remember 1999 and early 2000s, fans were genuinely excited to see that story play out, even, I might add, after Jar Jar Binks meesa yousa’d his way into the public consciousness.

The problem with that arc is that it requires audiences to absorb six-plus hours of movie, only to watch the protagonist travel down the worst possible path. We don’t go to the movies to see happy endings all the time time necessarily. But I would argue that we do go to Star Wars movies for uplift, something the original trilogy and the more recent films have provided in spades because it’s baked into their stories of rebellion and hope, and overcoming those who seek to stanch both. This is something that the universe’s creator, who was looking to the ’30s serials that inspired him when he was young, can’t necessarily grasp in the same way that filmmakers like J.J. Abrams or Rian Johnson can, who are inspired not by serials, but by A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi, two of which were not directed by Lucas.

In The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, Adam Driver is essentially playing another version of Anakin in the form of Kylo Ren, and he’s electrifying to watch, especially in Last Jedi. He may be a better actor than Christensen – he’s certainly had more and better opportunities to prove that – but he also is playing someone who, while conflicted, has already proven himself to be potentially evil. Both Abrams and Johnson have allowed him to embrace that in a way that Christensen could never fully do until the final act of Sith. While that doesn’t excuse every off Anakin moment in, say, Attack of the Clones — I’m sorry, the thing with the sand is still bad on every level — it does help to explain it. Most actors, even accomplished ones like Leonardo DiCaprio, who Lucas approached about playing Anakin, would have had a hard time bringing that character to life within the framework necessitated by that story and the way Lucas wanted to tell it. Perhaps that’s why DiCaprio passed on the project.

Hayden Christensen is still a working actor, though none of his recent credits are particularly notable. The cloud that hangs over the prequels no doubt still hangs over him every time he expresses interest in or auditions for a part. Which is a lie about his potential as an actor — not one that’s quite as egregious as the ones Stephen Glass told at the New Republic, but a lie nonetheless. What the Force gave to Hayden Christensen nearly 20 years ago, it also took away.

16 Dec 09:24

How Are You Getting a Head Start on Your New Year’s Resolution?

by Patrick Lucas Austin
Rachel

I've been running again --with no hip or knee pain! yay. Also, I think I'm going to start volunteering at a food bank/kitchen. Idk if these are new years resolutions, but maybe they'll help with my fabulous depression :)

You’ve probably got some downtime during the holidays, whether you’re taking a few days off from work (you should), or enjoying your winter break after studying for exams (you didn’t). With 2018 on the way, you can start the new year on the right foot by prepping your resolution plans beforehand. Of course,…

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16 Dec 01:22

Paul Ryan Would Like You to Have More Babies 

by Stassa Edwards on The Slot, shared by Julianne Escobedo Shepherd to Jezebel
Rachel

I'm reading a book about class in American, and it covers different eras since the 1600s. It's SO interesting, and a big part of different eras stress populating and birth rates...

Wedged into Paul Ryan’s Thursday press conference was a brief tangent about “entitlement reforms,” in which the Speaker emphasized the need for “higher birth rates.”

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16 Dec 00:58

Roseanne Revival Premiere Date Set for March

by Spencer Perry
Rachel

I never really watched this show, or liked it, but I love that both Beckys are in the revival. :) (I'm biased since I love E(l)liot Reid)

Roseanne Revival Premiere Date Set for March

Roseanne revival premiere date set for March

ABC has announced that the upcoming revival of the timeless sitcom Roseanne will return with all-new episodes on Tuesday, March 27 at 8 PM ET. The series will debut with a special hour-long premiere episode and will air in its regular timeslot from 8:00-8:30 p.m., beginning Tuesday, April 3, followed by The Middle, which will move to 8:30 p.m. Production on the highly-anticipated revival’s nine episodes is slated to wrap today in Studio City, California.

Featuring the complete original cast, new series regulars and notable returning guest stars, the revival will explore life, death and everything in between through the relatable, hilarious and brutally honest lens of the Conner household. With the inimitable Roseanne at its epicenter, fresh stories that tackle today’s issues and even more laughs from a brilliant cast and crew that haven’t missed a beat, audiences old and new will celebrate the homecoming of America’s favorite working-class family.

The series stars Roseanne Barr as Roseanne Conner, John Goodman as Dan Conner, Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris, Lecy Goranson as Becky Conner-Healy, Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner, Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner, Emma Kenney as Harris Conner-Healy, Ames McNamara as Mark Conner-Healy and Jayden Rey as Mary Conner. Sarah Chalke, who played the character Becky in later seasons, will also appear in another role.

Fan-favorite guest stars from Roseanne will reprise their roles in the revival, including Estelle Parsons as Beverly Harris, Sandra Bernhard as Nancy Bartlett, Natalie West as Crystal Anderson, James Pickens, Jr. as Chuck Mitchell and Adilah Barnes as Anne Marie Mitchell.

Roseanne is produced by Carsey-Werner Television. Executive producers include Roseanne Barr, Sara Gilbert, Tom Werner, Bruce Helford, Whitney Cummings and Tony Hernandez.

Roseanne (2018)
Roseanne (2018)

Roseanne (2018)

Roseanne (2018)

ROSEANNE - "Twenty Years to Life" - Iconic comedy series “Roseanne” holds its first table read for the revival’s premiere episode entitled “Twenty Years to Life.” (ABC/Adam Rose)LAURIE METCAF, ROSEANNE BARR, MICHAEL FISHMAN, JAYDEN REY, BRUCE HELFORD (EXECUTIVE PRODUCER), WHITNEY CUMMINGS (EXECUTIVE PRODUCER), JOHN GOODMAN

The post Roseanne Revival Premiere Date Set for March appeared first on ComingSoon.net.

15 Dec 03:07

Lumberjanes’ Noelle Stevenson is Rebooting She-Ra for Netflix

by Stubby the Rocket
Rachel

Remember there was a little character/friend to find in the scenery every episode?

Swift Wind with Sha-Ra

Today Noelle Stevenson, the Eisner Award-winning cartoonist behind the fantasy graphic novel Nimona and the delightful comic book series Lumberjanes, announced the raddest of news: She’ll be showrunning Netflix’s reboot of beloved ’80s animated series She-Ra. It’s one of six new animated series from Netflix and Dreamworks Television including the new season of Guillermo del Toro’s Trollhunters and 3 Below, the second installment of the Tales of Arcadia Trilogy.

We’re most excited about the return of the Princess of Power, whose series was originally created as a spinoff of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, but who stands alone in this new series.

Stevenson shared the news on Twitter:

Here’s the official synopsis, from Netflix:

From Eisner Award-winning author and executive producer Noelle Stevenson comes a modern take on the ‘80s girl power icon for a new generation of young fans. The trailblazing property originally debuted in 1985 to satisfy demand for a female-led fantasy series. The series is described as an epic and timely tale that celebrates female friendship and empowerment, led by a warrior princess tailor made for today. The series will be available to Netflix members worldwide in 2018.

All we have to say is: Swiftwind or GTFO.

Look for all the new series to premiere over the course of 2018.

15 Dec 00:00

Annette Bening Describes Warren Beatty’s First Move

by Hunter Harris
Rachel

I think it's funny that I've always thought that these two wouldn't last....like, to this day I assume they will break up if I see them in the news...it's been 30 years, not really a May-Sept. romance anymore.

Annette Bening (L) and Warren Beatty attend the Museum of the Moving Image Salute to Annette Bening at 583 Park Avenue on December 13, 2017 in New York City.

By now, we all know the origins of the iconic love story between Annette Bening and Warren Beatty: The pair fell in love while filming Bugsy; Beatty, in particular, fell hard for Bening while downing a plate of garlic chicken. But last night, at the Museum of the Moving Image’s annual gala salute, Bening announced that she had a slightly different — and slightly raunchier — recollection of their incipient romance.

After Bening’s former co-stars and collaborators (plus Call Me by Your Name’s Timothee Chalamet) honored the Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool actress with stories, clips, and memories from her best roles — and Beatty told the garlic chicken tale again — Bening took the stage to share her side of the story:

“We were working on our film together, Bugsy. He was being very professional, and I was being very professional. We movie-kissed. That’s different than a real kiss, as many of the actors in this room know. We went out to dinner … Okay, now we’re tip-toeing … and we went to his house. I can’t believe I’m saying this! It’s already in Vanity Fair, anyway, so who gives a fuck? He told this story long ago without my permission! But anyway, his version is much better, I’m sorry. You’re getting my version.”

Beatty yelled back from the audience, “Just don’t leave anything out!”

Obviously, the bold line worked: Bening said she responded immediately, with a simple yes. “Now some people, they do things differently,” she told last night’s audience. “They get to know each other, they date, they have a fight, they get back together. Then they get engaged, they get married, or maybe they live together. Then they have children. We didn’t do that. We just did it other way, which is: Do you want to have a baby, yes I do. Then he looked at me, and I got pregnant. Not really … something else happened.”

As for her decision to tell the story now, nearly 30 years after that first meeting? “I figure, why not do that now,” laughed Bening. “Why wait till we’re dead?”

05 Dec 20:27

This Is the Best Cleaning Advice, According to Reddit — Tips from The Kitchn

by Elizabeth Licata
Rachel

Reddit is best know for "dog memes and jokes"? lol.

Today I discovered something shocking: Reddit is an excellent place to go for cleaning tips. The site is best known for dog memes and jokes, but it's also full of a lot of actually useful information. The massive online discussion forum has over a million sub-forums covering everything from video games to food to random thoughts people have in the shower. And with that many people around, a lot of them are bound to know what they're talking about.

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04 Dec 23:55

SUPERNATURAL FANS! Get Your First Look at the WAYWARD SISTERS Pilot

by Kendall Ashley
Rachel

The more pictures I see, the more excited I get. When's Thursday??

Some mild Supernatural season 13 spoilers ahead–read on with care if you’re not caught up!

The Supernatural universe is expanding in a lot of exciting ways. Not only do we have the new apocalypse universe that is bringing back old, well-loved characters, but the backdoor pilot of the long-anticipated spin-off series called Wayward Sisters is also taking things to a new level. A spin-off following the adventures of Sheriff Jody, her two adopted daughters Claire and Alex, and Sheriff Donna has been a bit of a fan obsession for a while now. The fandom was ready to see the women of Supernatural step forward, and start kicking some monster ass without ending up dead in a bathtub, burned on a ceiling, or mauled by a hellhound. So we were more than a little thrilled when Bob Singer and Andrew Dabb decided to make the show a reality.

Of course, the idea behind Wayward Sisters has been brewing on the show for a while. Several episodes have set up the idea, like last season’s “Don’t You Forget About Me” and this season’s “Patience”. The episodes have introduced new characters, like psychic Patience Turner, and have set up the dynamic of Jody Mills as sheriff/hunter/caretaker for supernatural orphans along with her bubbly bestie, Donna Hanscum. We still have to wait a bit to see what happens next with our favorite Wayward Sisters, but Entertainment Weekly has released a first look at the backdoor pilot. Here are a few of the images:

Not only do we get to see the Wayward Sisters fam fighting together, but we also see Claire with another of the show’s new characters, Kaia. We don’t know much about Kaia except that she, like Claire and Alex, were orphaned due to a supernatural tragedy. Like Patience, Kaia has powers, but unlike Patience’s psychic abilities, Kaia’s have been nothing but a curse to her as she can’t control them.

We also get a shot of Claire and Alex together. Though Claire chose to continue hunting, Alex decided she wanted out of the hunting lifestyle. We know the supernatural world never leaves anyone alone fully (especially when your adopted mom and sister are bonafide hunters), but it looks like Alex found herself an “apple pie” job as a nurse. It’s perfect! She can help people and, from the looks of the picture, give her hunting family details on supernatural slayings in the area.

This show is shaping up to be amazing, and it will be the perfect addition to the Supernatural universe. We can’t wait to see more from these badass hunters, and our mind is already reeling at the fun Supernatural/Wayward Sisters crossover episodes that could be in our future.

What do you hope to see in the backdoor pilot and the spin-off? Let’s talk in the comments!

Feature Image: The CW

30 Nov 16:20

There's a Massive Security Vulnerability in the New macOS

by Adam Clark Estes on Gizmodo, shared by Virginia K. Smith to Lifehacker
Rachel

Yay, I don't understand this at all. I'm off to throw my computer in the trashbin.

In software, there are bugs, and there are dangerous bugs. It looks like macOS High Sierra has one of those dangerous bugs; one that could give someone full access to virtually any user account. And holy buckets, it is scary.

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30 Nov 16:18

How Charlie Brown Destroyed Aluminum Christmas Trees

by Miss Cellania
Rachel

The historical museum apparently has a display of them right now. I should wander over there some day. I was always fascinated with the idea of aluminum trees as a kid.

Aluminum Christmas trees were all the rage in the late 1950s and early '60s. They were easy to set up and store, would last for years, and gave a modern, space-age feel to your Christmas decor. And they were lit by psychedelic rotating projection lights. Cool! And then, suddenly, the fad was over in 1965.

Aluminum Christmas trees were at peak sales from 1958 until the airing of A Charlie Brown Christmas. As you might recall, during the Christmas special Charlie Brown heads out to buy a Christmas tree. Lucy ordered him to buy an aluminum Christmas tree.

When Charlie Brown and Linus arrived at the tree lot, there were plenty of fancy aluminum trees for sale, but the only tree that catches his eye is a little sapling. It was also the only real tree on the lot. When he arrives back to the set of the play the girls started mocking him for choosing the ugly little tree. In a fit of frustration, he loudly asks if “anybody knows what Christmas is about?” Linus said that he did and then started quoting the Annunciation to the Shepherds from the Bible.

The millions of households watching that night received a lesson in the commercialization of Christmas, and realized their aluminum trees were a symptom of it. Read about the effect of A Charlie Brown Christmas on the aluminum tree industry at Medium.  -via Digg  

29 Nov 14:12

America’s Jack the Ripper and the Downfall of Eliot Ness

by Miss Cellania

Neatorama is proud to bring you a guest post from history buff and Neatoramanaut WTM, who wishes to remain otherwise anonymous.

All who have seen The Untouchables television series, 1959-1963, and/or the 1987 film of the same name should certainly be familiar with the character of Eliot Ness. When one views these images of Eliot Ness, the first from the 1960’s television series and the second from the 1987 film, what does one see?

The typical response would probably be that the ‘legendary’ Eliot Ness was an alpha-male, handsome, sexy, hard as nails, cold as ice, fearless, dedicated, incorruptible, and uncompromising – an ‘untouchable’ Supercop as it were. As is so often the case, however, reality falls short of legend, and in the case of Eliot Ness, it falls quite short.

The public perception of Eliot Ness is that he was Supercop, the man who took down Al Capone and battled organized crime quite successfully during the 1930’s, as seen weekly in The Untouchables television series. The stark reality is that Eliot Ness was a flawed hero who was eventually to become a tragic figure, ending his days as an impoverished alcoholic. The story of his triumphs and downfall is a remarkable one that may be unprecedented in American history and it serves as a cautionary tale for those skeptical of Proverbs 16:18. Legends die hard, but when they do…

Eliot Ness gained his fame and notoriety by heading the special ‘Untouchables’ law enforcement task force from 1929 through 1931, during which period he and his men were finally able to bring Chicago’s top crime lord, Al Capone, to justice.  Capone was sentenced to eleven years in prison for tax evasion, beginning at Atlanta Federal Penitentiary in 1931, and he was later transferred to Alcatraz – The Rock - in 1934, the ultimate humiliation for him and for organized crime.

Eliot Ness became a national hero for taking down Al Capone, and Chester Gould modeled his fictitious detective Dick Tracy after Eliot Ness, that comic strip, not coincidentally, beginning in 1931. The world was Ness’s oyster, or should have been.

Ness, born in 1903, was still a young man when he left law enforcement to take a position as Safety Director with the city of Cleveland, Ohio in December of 1935. But there, so far as the general public knows, the trail ends. When one hears of Eliot Ness today, it is almost certainly only in regard to his gangbuster’s work as head of the Untouchables. Many online biographies of Ness simply do not mention anything of note about him after 1936, only that he died in 1957. Three words explain this – Cleveland’s Torso Murders.

Also known as the Kingsbury Run Murders (referred to herein as the Torso Murders), these crimes were a series of horrific murders in the Cleveland metropolitan area, with the majority of them occurring in or around a rundown slum area on Cleveland’s east and southeast sides known as Kingsbury Run. Beginning in 1934, a series of seldom identified, sometimes emasculated, frequently dismembered, and always-beheaded corpses, often only the torso, were found around metropolitan Cleveland, the obvious (today) work of a serial killer. Officially, the Torso Murders ended in 1938 but may have actually occurred again in 1950.

(Image credit: Flickr user Snake Oil Salesman)

This all began at a time only 46 years after the Mother of All Serial Killings, the infamous Whitechapel Murders, as committed by Jack the Ripper in the autumn of 1888 in London’s East End. Like Jack the Ripper, the unknown criminal behind Cleveland’s own slaughter had numerous nicknames - the Headhunter of Kingsbury Run, the Butcher (used herein), the Mad Butcher, the Cleveland Torso Killer, the Torso Murderer, and other combinations. But parallels between the two killers are interesting, to say the least, so much so that Cleveland’s unknown perpetrator is often referred to as America’s Jack the Ripper. Comparing the two, we find:

* Both series were crimes in slum areas
* Both perpetrators were never caught or identified
* Both perpetrators had unknown reasons why they started and stopped
* Both series involved murders of transients
* Both series involved mutilation of the victims
* Both perpetrators were thought to have exhibited medical expertise at times
* Both series had authorities that were desperate to stop the murders
* Both series inspired terror in the populace

For all the similarities, there are some obvious differences:

Both killing series have become legend for the same reason; they weren’t just big-city murders, they were sensational over-the-top urban crimes involving grisly, bloody deaths and wanton destruction of human bodies, executed by an unknown criminal who left no trace and vanished as mysteriously as he had first appeared.

Jackass Hill, Cleveland, OH, where 2 headless men were found. (Image credit: Courtesy of Heather Beck of Heather's Halloween)

When the Butcher’s first victim appeared in 1934, no one was particularly alarmed, thinking it to be just an ‘ordinary’ murder even though the body had been quite dismembered. Not until late 1935, as the headless body count began to escalate rapidly, did the authorities realize that something extraordinary was taking place. As was also the case with Jack the Ripper, police simply did not know what they were looking for.  In the 1930’s, no one in law enforcement knew what a serial killer was. They did not understand that particular pathology, nor did they even know the term. All they knew was that there was a ‘maniac’ on the loose. As Torso Murders authority and author James Badal stated in his book, In the Wake of the Butcher:

There roamed an unknown psychopath who littered the inner city with a dozen decapitated and otherwise mutilated bodies over a four-year period and vanished as mysteriously as he had appeared, leaving virtually no clues as to his identity.

Although these murders had by late 1935 become high profile, Eliot Ness did not become directly involved in the investigation until late 1936, by which time a terrified public had demanded that the city’s authorities Do Something.

Kingsbury Run, Cleveland, Ohio, circa 1936 (Image credit: Special Collections, Cleveland State University Library)

As Cleveland’s Safety Director, Eliot Ness had done a fine job by the autumn of 1936. He cleaned up departmental corruption, improved city efficiency on every level, and generally made Cleveland a better and safer place through elimination of vice and racketeering. He also made sweeping changes in police methods and procedures, among which was the introduction of two-way radios in patrol cars.

Ness was a good cop and able administrator, but, as shall later be seen, he was also a poor businessman and an abysmal politician. Though he at first resisted becoming involved in the Torso Murders, in September 1936 he was sucked into their vortex as head of the investigation, where he then was, quite literally, in the eye of a perfect crime storm. Serial killers are devilishly hard to catch, even today. Forensics and other analytical technologies of the 1930’s were primitive, and the ongoing Great Depression limited available funds and other resources. National communications were all but nonexistent. There was then a large transient population in Cleveland, making identification of most Butcher victims impossible. Eliot Ness was also a republican island in a sea of Roosevelt democrats, practically all of whom wanted him to fail just on that basis alone, some few of them even being quite vocal about it. Partisan politics is nothing new

Eliot Ness had unwittingly become a victim of his own success; Supercop was expected to deliver results and deliver them fast – to Do Something to bring it all to an end, just as he had done with Al Capone, regardless of the difficulty.

Ness set to work at once, using the same methods and stratagems that had served him well when battling Al Capone. Here they got him nowhere. For almost two years, he conducted an ultimately unsuccessful campaign against the Butcher, who had soon begun taunting Ness, not with letters to newspapers, but with actions. The murders, dismemberments, and displays became ever more outrageous, and one body was even left in full sight of Ness’s office in city hall.

Ness also had a problem in that his personality frequently clashed with those of other authorities involved in the Torso Murders. The lead city detective on the Butcher case, Peter Merylo, was a hardboiled, no-nonsense cop who was known for his bulldog tenacity. He did not like Eliot Ness and made no secret of it.  Paul Robsky, one of the original members of Elliot Ness's legendary crime-fighting team, and its last survivor, wrote his own book, The Last of the Untouchables, wherein he is not at all complimentary toward Eliot Ness, and, indeed, minimalizes Ness’s contributions to that task force, often telling a different story than had Eliot Ness.

To Ness’s credit as head of the Butcher investigation, he did soon identify a ‘Secret Suspect’, one who to this day remains the prime suspect, this being a psychotic doctor named Francis Sweeney. Unfortunately for Eliot Ness, Dr. Sweeney was first cousin to a partisan democratic congressman, one who had already called for Eliot Ness’s ouster, as well as that of Cleveland’s mayor, another republican. It was this relationship that caused Ness’s suspect to remain top secret (his name was first revealed in the 1990’s), for one can imagine Congressman Sweeney’s reaction to a republican Eliot Ness accusing his cousin, Dr. Francis Sweeney, of being the Butcher.

Ness, under incredible pressure to catch the killer, cut corners and bent rules. He held Dr. Sweeney captive in a hotel for an intense interrogation lasting several weeks, a violation of civil liberties even in 1938, finally being forced to release him due to lack of hard evidence even though he was convinced of Sweeney’s guilt. He hired off-the-books undercover investigators. He also conducted searches of very questionable legality. What would be the last of the Torso Murders in August 1938 drove Ness to one final desperate act.

Believing the Butcher preyed exclusively on transients, Ness ordered the shantytowns in Kingsbury Run to be set ablaze and the men who lived there, many of them the working poor, arrested. Ness meant to deprive the murderer of victims — and fingerprint the men in case they became victims. But in 1938, when one in five workers nationwide was unemployed, this scorched-earth destruction of the indigent population’s homes and meager belongings troubled Cleveland's conscience. The Cleveland Press blasted Ness for his "misguided zeal". Ness's stellar reputation for heroic integrity had given him freedom to operate outside normal channels, but, under intense pressure, he decided that the end justified the means.

Ness’s foolish decision to destroy the shantytowns was the beginning of his end. He would never recover from this point forward, so much so that he is considered by some to be the Butcher’s ‘14th victim’. The specter of his past successes haunted him, magnified by this one colossal failure, and Cleveland simply could not understand why the invincible legend, Supercop, could not crack the city’s most notorious murder case. The G-man had lost his glamour.

His failure to apprehend the Butcher not only frustrated Ness, it also brought him under a withering public scrutiny. Criticism of Eliot Ness intensified in March 1942, the result of an early morning traffic accident on an icy Cleveland street. The fact that Ness was intoxicated and had tried to persuade the investigating officers to look the other way turned the tide of public opinion against him. He was forced to resign as Safety Director and became National Director of the federal government's Social Protection Program, a position he held until the end of WWII.

Despite his considerable professional accomplishments, Ness had developed severe personal problems. His commitment to law enforcement, long hours away from home, and his drinking were largely responsible for his two failed marriages. An ill-fated attempt to regain his lost fame and status by running for Mayor of Cleveland in 1947, funding his campaign with his own life’s savings no less, accelerated the downward spiral that continued through the final decade of Ness's life, sealing his loss of reputation and driving him to the edge of bankruptcy. He began drifting from one failing business enterprise to another, never to succeed at any of them.

After his failing to win the 1947 mayoral election, Ness’s drinking became a serious problem. Ness spent too much money on new cars and too much time in hotel bars, and at this point he began embellishing his role in bringing down Al Capone to most anyone who would listen.

By the early 1950’s, Eliot Ness had been completely destroyed professionally, politically, and personally. Reckless behavior like his frequent intoxication spurred his dismissal from companies that had been willing to hire him and his ongoing incurring of heavy debt forced him to take various odd jobs in an effort to make ends meet. Among other failed pursuits, he worked as an electronics parts wholesaler, a clerk in a bookstore, and a salesman of frozen hamburger patties to restaurants, employment that was quite anticlimactic for someone who had once battled Al Capone and the Mob. In 1956, very nearly bankrupt and by then a clinical alcoholic, he teamed with writer Oscar Fraley, whom he had met in a hotel bar, to produce a book that told the story of his glory days with the Untouchables, one that he hoped would pay off and give him yet another chance.

While a good read, The Untouchables: The Real Story by Eliot Ness contains descriptions of events that others who should know (such as Paul Robsky) either contest outright or report had not happened as described therein. Eliot Ness’s natural and developed tendencies toward hyperbole, prevarication, exaggeration, and self-aggrandizement, coupled with the impaired memory of an alcoholic concerning events of 25 years earlier, had by then simply gotten the better of him. Not that the public knew the difference or really cared about the facts; the book was to become a huge success, spawning the immensely popular television series and 25 years after that, the feature film.

Ironically, both the television series and the 1987 film had little in common with this book except the names Eliot Ness, Al Capone, and the Untouchables; nearly all plots and content were exaggerated and sensationalized historical fiction, frequently fabricated from whole cloth. Even Eliot Ness would have blushed.

Eliot Ness was bankrupt when he died of an obviously stress-induced heart attack in his home on May 16, 1957, at the age of 54. At the time of his death, Eliot Ness was depressed, disillusioned, deeply in debt, and an alcoholic. Ness never knew that the book manuscript he and Oscar Fraley had produced would create the Untouchables legend that endures even today, nor would he or his surviving family profit from it.

The Ness family didn’t even have the money to bury him. A funeral home offered his widow a discount rate for a cremation, which she accepted. Because she couldn’t afford an urn, her husband’s cremated remains (cremains) lay in a shoebox in the basement of the funeral home for 40 years, until 1997, at which time the cremains of Eliot Ness, as well as those of his wife and son, were finally given an honor police funeral in Cleveland, after exposure of this sad, sordid, and shameful situation by author Paul W. Heimel. Otherwise, his cremains would probably still be in that basement today, long abandoned and completely forgotten after 60 years.

(Image credit: Flickr user Michelle Belanger)

Whatever one thinks of Eliot Ness, for all his flaws and shortcomings, he was an honest and decent man who risked his life and reputation fighting criminals that no one else could or would. Ness probably feared that his investigation into the Torso Murders would end as it did, in abject failure, but he was game to try until the bitter end. And at his own end, in the Ness family’s time of greatest need, both the cities of Chicago and Cleveland could have stepped up to the plate – but didn’t. Eliot who?

The Torso Murders ended a lifetime ago, but open murder cases are never closed. Circumstantial evidence against Dr. Francis Sweeney continues to accumulate and evidence that positively links him to the crimes may someday be found. As is also the case with Jack the Ripper, interest in the Butcher has never been higher and a feature film concerning Cleveland’s Torso Murders, “Ness”, is in development. One can only hope that such a film will do Eliot Ness the justice that he so well deserves.



Sources and Further Reading

Cleveland Police Museum/Torso Murders

Cleveland Police Museum/Eliot Ness

The Last Boy Scout

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives

The Kingsbury Run Murders or Cleveland Torso Murders 

Torso Killer: History, Hauntings & The Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run

This Area In Cleveland Has A Dark And Evil History That Will Never Be Forgotten

The Cleveland Memory Project

The Death of Eliot Ness

Dead Ohio

American Thinker

Heather's Halloween

Eliot Ness at Find A Grave

Florence Genevieve Sawdy Polillia at Find A Grave

Dr. Francis Edward Sweeney at Find A Grave

Edward Anthony Andrassy at Find a Grave

 

29 Nov 02:22

‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ Stages A ‘West Wing’ Thanksgiving Reunion In ‘Two Turkeys’

by Alan Sepinwall
Rachel

I was excited about the Sons of Anarchy reunion...

Fox

A quick review of tonight’s Brooklyn Nine-Nine coming up just as soon as I dipstick your bike…

Guest stars can be a mixed bag for a show with an ensemble as gifted and deep as Brooklyn Nine-Nine has. On the one hand, the show brings in tons of wonderful guests like Dean Winters or Kyra Sedgwick or Dennis Haysbert, and almost always gives them funny roles to play. On the other, the show has so much trouble juggling the regular cast — even with Chelsea Peretti on maternity leave at the moment, some episodes still feel crowded — that building episodes around outside characters can only exacerbate the problem of various regulars not having enough to do.

“Two Turkeys” is perhaps the most guest star-driven installment of the entire series, with large swaths of it feeling less like a Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode than the backdoor pilot for a spin-off about Jake and Amy’s fathers. But when those fathers happen to be played by Bradley Whitford and Jimmy Smits — the two of them enjoying both the late-stage West Wing reunion and the opportunity to play increasingly petty and drunk — with Katey Sagal also around to stir up trouble, it’s maybe okay to turn the lead couple into horrified observers for once. Because Smits is generally asked to do comedy more rarely than Whitford or Sagal, it’s a particular pleasure to see him dive into the exaggerated machismo and arrogance of Victor Santiago.

Still, the story about Captain Holt’s missing pie proved the episode’s more entertaining one. Not only did it feature Andre Braugher playing the closest he’s come on the show to Frank Pembleton, and in a silly context, but any chance to see Scully and Hitchcock find an area where they’re more competent than the other detectives (in this case, identifying and tracking down unhealthy food) is a treat.

And that’s the advantage of leaning on regular characters as well-developed as these. Smits and Whitford are a treat to watch, but we know Holt and the two idiots so well that all it takes is a slight push out of their usual context to generate big laughs

What did everybody else think?

Alan Sepinwall may be reached at sepinwall@uproxx.com. He discusses television weekly on the TV Avalanche podcast. His new book, Breaking Bad 101, is on sale now.

29 Nov 02:16

If You're a Toddler Who Loves Deer Hunting, Wisconsin Is the Place for You

by Madeleine Davies
Rachel

Winchester. Those toddlers have to hunt "deer".

On November 11, governor of Wisconsin and everyone’s least favorite Deliverance stand-in Scott Walker signed a law ridding the state of minimum hunting age. Since then, 10 hunting licenses have been sold to individuals under the age of one, which doesn’t speak to Wisconsin toddlers motor skills as much as it speaks to…

Read more...

28 Nov 15:02

And now, the exciting conclusion of another CW superhero team-up

by Erik Adams
Rachel

I'm trying to catch up on Arrow, but because of the cross-over episodes and Flash messing with timelines, I'm baffled by what's actually happening anymore.

Here’s what’s happening in the world of television for Tuesday, November 28. All times are Eastern.

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23 Nov 01:28

Partridge Family Star David Cassidy Dies at 67

by Hannah Gold
Rachel

I didn't know Katie Cassidy was his daughter!?

The Los Angeles Times reported on Tuesday that teen heartthrob of the ’70s and former Partridge Family star David Cassidy died of liver failure at the age of 67, according to his publicist, Jo-Ann Geffen.

Read more...

22 Nov 03:00

10 Ways to Handle Thanksgiving as an Introvert — Thanksgiving

by Stephanie Booth
Rachel

Wine. Lots of wine.

It's taken me years to understand that being an introvert isn't a bad thing. (After all, J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates, and Barack Obama are pretty good company to keep.) Introverts aren't misanthropes. We don't hate big, noisy parties or loud, communal meals. We simply get emotionally and physically drained by a lot of hullabaloo. And needless to say, that makes Thanksgiving a tricky time of year.

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22 Nov 03:00

The Stories Behind 5 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs and the Songs the Cast Auditioned With

by Soo Youn
Rachel

I love this show soooo much

Actor Peter Gardner participates in the 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: 100th Song Celebration Sing-a-Long' during Vulture Festival LA presented by AT&T at Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel on November 19, 2017 in Hollywood, California.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fans, rejoice: There may be some fun, cringe-y karaoke in your future. “I am working so hard to make karaoke tracks happen,” the show’s star and co-creator Rachel Bloom announced at Vulture Festival L.A. on Sunday. To tide you over, the cast of the CW show discussed the songs they auditioned with, the songs they’ve aired, condom props, and spaghetti penises.

It turns out that several cast members auditioned with songs they had learned for other gigs. Vincent “Vinnie” Rodriguez III (Josh Chan) “naturally accompanied [himself] on guitar, singing and rapping the song, ‘Thugz Mansion’ by Tupac Shakur, as one does,” he said, “because I had auditioned for the Broadway musical Holler If Ya Hear Me.” But he was also obeying the audition instructions to “showcase musical ability” to the letter. Bloom explained the instructions had stated “‘such as singing, playing guitar, or rapping,’ and you were like, ‘I guess I have to do all of them, at once.’” Pete Gardner (Darryl Whitefeather) auditioned with “I Love My Baby (My Baby Loves Me)” and Brahms’s Lullaby in German, which he also had in his pocket because of a previous job. Scott Michael Foster (Nathaniel Plimpton III) broke out “Fly Me to the Moon.”

David Hull auditioned for the pilot and didn’t even get a callback. But, according to Bloom, he made an impression on casting director Felicia Fasano, who noted, “He’s so talented, don’t know for Greg, but he kind of looks like a white Josh.” They decided if it went to series, they’d write him that role. Then Bloom and co-creator Aline Brosh McKenna wrote a part for him, without first confirming he was available. Thus became the accidental origin story of White Josh. And now for some more (and more and more) stories behind the show’s memorable songs.

“Let’s Generalize About Men”

“It was such weird timing about that song, just as the Harvey Weinstein shit broke. Cuz that song is about gross generalizations and how that’s dangerous. But with all the news coming out, it’s like, ‘Maybe we can generalize? Because it sounds like a lot of them are terrible, if not all?’” Bloom said.

The last line, “Your sons are going to be rapists,” came about because McKenna has two sons. The line was in the script, but at some point, someone gave the note that the word “rapists” made it hard to get into the next scene with Darryl and White Josh talking about their feelings, so they just made it the act break, Bloom said.

“Getting Bi”

Adam Schlesinger (the show’s executive music producer) wrote this song while extremely crunched for time. “That was when we were pretty slammed and exhausted,” Brosh McKenna said. After meeting with GLAAD, she emailed him and said, “here are eight misconceptions about bisexual people based on our research,”And the song came back. It flew back in like a stork brought it. Jack (Dolgen) and I were in the writers room and we listened to it and it was like, ‘Oh God, that one’s done.’”

When Gardner got the Darryl role, he fretted constantly about the musical numbers. “When do I have to sing, and what episode? How can I start preparing? Useless. But so Aline was going, ‘Okay, you sing in the fifth episode,’ and that’s all I could see: fifth episode, fifth episode, fifth episode. And then she walked in and she’s like, ‘Oh, and in 11, your character comes out as bi,’” he said. He added that he loves that people come up to him at restaurants referencing the song. “It’s just such an amazing honor to be associated, to be a small part of that song. It means a lot to so many people.”

“Let’s Have Intercourse”

This number has a lot of fumbling related to props. Let’s start with Bloom’s take on the protection. “The condom that Nathaniel then takes out in that scene is so small. It’s literally like [for] a teenager. I don’t know if it’s a tester condom. You know, like tampons that are meant for when you’re like 11 and it’s just starting. It’s like a baby condom. I think the implication there is Nathaniel’s penis is very narrow. It’s like spaghetti. It’s super long, but it’s super thin,” she said.

Then there’s the dancing for this number, which choreographer Kat Burns said she envisioned as a romantic duet for maximum comedy. “There might be some raunchy lyrics, but like, reverse cowboy could also be very beautiful while wearing a chiffon flowy dress.” Yes, she meant reverse cowgirl, which Bloom pointedly corrected onstage. The guitar drop was Foster’s idea, and he says he still feels bad for making the prop guys scramble to get one.

“West Covina”

This is the number that blew most of the show’s budget, since it was originally shot for Showtime before landing at the CW. Bloom provided a quick breakdown: “That’s 75 dancers, dancing on concrete, which costs extra money. Outside with a flying pretzel. In the Showtime days, we had a lot of money for that pilot. We had almost twice as much money to make that pilot as we did the rest of the show. We periodically blow our budget, and then we do ones were somebody dances around with a guitar and we just balance it out that way.”

Her advice about pilots and networks: Always get the extra shots, because you never know how much leeway you’re going to get with nudity. “As you know we were originally with Showtime. In this pilot, the stripper was topless. And I’m going to give myself the credit. I said, ‘Can we get some versions with her with the top on?’ Because it just might be straight-up distracting to suddenly have tits in the song. And I’m so glad we got it, because we would have had to have to go back to the strip club, and it would have cost a lot of money to do VFX. Word to the wise, if you’re getting a topless scene in a musical TV show, always get a version without it because you never know if you’ll end up on the CW.”

“A Diagnosis”

“There are a lot of tonal similarities to ‘West Covina.’ There’s that optimism, there’s that kind of sincere Broadway number. There’s throwing the envelope and the guy catching it, which is the same guy who catches the coat in the West Covina song, magician David Kwong,” Bloom said. “But it was in the middle of the season when our budget kind of gets fucked. It’s a very small hallway, but what it allowed us to do was much more intimate and emotional than me running down a hallway in a field.” She added, “It was much more about getting in those close-ups, and then it changed the arrangement of the music. Actually that’s how big the outpatient center would be, these outpatient centers aren’t these great expanses. They’re small. Sometimes it’s fun to work within a limit because it allows you to make certain choices you wouldn’t normally make.”