SamTeeIs this more "Young Ron Swanson" or "Young Dwight Schrute"?
“We had a photo booth at our wedding. I don’t think my brother-in-law understands how photo booths work.”
(via source)
“We had a photo booth at our wedding. I don’t think my brother-in-law understands how photo booths work.”
(via source)
The post Life Of The Party appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
SamTeeI absolutely love this idea!
SamTeeToday in "How Small Is Iceland?": this is national news.
The American tourist, Noel Santillan, who plugged the wrong address into his GPS and ended up in a remote fishing village in north Iceland rather than Reykjavík seems to be doing pretty well, reports Vísir.
Noel, who hails from New Jersey, took the time yesterday to visit Siglufjörður’s Herring Era Museum and the local bakery. Hotel staff confirm that he has been sampling Icelandic cuisine by indulging in kjötsúpa and some putrified shark.
“Noel is doing well and is very grateful for everything that’s been done for him,” said Sirrý Laxdal, receptionist at Hótel Sigló in Siglufjörður. “He was really surprised when I told him this morning that he was famous in Iceland now. That his story was on every media outlet and all over Facebook. He thought it was funny.”
As reported, Noel had meant to go to Hótel Frón which is located on Laugavegur in Reykjavík, but instead followed directions to the tiny northern fishing village of Siglufjörður which incidentally has a road named Laugarvegur (with an ‘r’).
After arriving at the address, expecting to find his hotel, the tourist rang the bell of Sigurlína Káradóttir who regretfully informed him of the truth.
But perhaps Noel is not entirely to blame for the mishap, in fact Hótel Frón have misspelled their street address on a number of hotel websites including Hotels.com, Venere, Expedia and Travelocity.
The post Lost GPS Tourist Visits Herring Museum appeared first on The Reykjavik Grapevine.
SamTeeSo the CIA wrote a how-to guide on classic trolling.
A reader writes:
I thought you might find this old OSS/CIA manual from 1944 as interesting examples of bad management. The purpose of the manual was to instruct employees and citizens of enemy states to sabotage the enemy from within.
Some of the sabotage tips sound quite familiar from some of the reader letters. The most relevant tips relevant to your blog can be found near the end of the manual and contain gems such as:
Thanks, and I really enjoy your blog. I’m glad you don’t “[g]ive lengthy and incomprehensible explanations when questioned” (tip 12.a).
Ooooh, thank you for this.
I also like these additional tactics that the manual advises:
So if you have a bad manager, maybe she’s just an incredibly competent saboteur.
bad manager or deliberate saboteur? was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
All you need to do is Tweet to the Twitter handle @YouAreDogNow and voilà, you are dog now! How are they finding these pictures and why are they so uncannily accurate? It is a mystery. One can only assume @YouAreDogNow really turned these people into dogs to make a new picture.
SamTeeWell there goes my afternoon.
(Definitely click through to the verryoungtvparents tumblr too. So good.)
I never thought I would find another site that speaks to my soul as deeply as the Old Loves Tumblr, but now I've discovered Actual Teen Vs. Adult Teen, and I invite you to spend the rest of our lives there.
Read more Actual Teen Vs. Adult Teen at The Toast.
SamTeeI love librarians.
SamTeeToo much eggnog last night dear?
It’s not a conpetition.
Photo courtesy of Angela Cole.
Found in Hiroshima, Japan.
SamTeeGARY. Best-behaved dog on earth.
Carrie Fisher and her dog Gary Fisher attend the European Premiere of “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” at the Leicester Square in London, England.
Oh, Carrie. We expected no less from you.
Look, we get it. She didn’t come from a time in Hollywood where she was expected to do this sort of thing. And she probably never expected to be asked to do this sort of thing on this level at her age. And of course, she’s never been what one would call a fashionista. We get that this is not her bag. But man, do we find ourselves wishing she’d hired a couple of drag queens to help her with her presentation skills. Have fun with the red carpet, of course, but this comes off less “fun” and more “uncomfortable and clowning around to cover for it.” Just strike a simple pose and smile, dear. It’ll be over eventually.
The outfit’s not great, but again, we really weren’t expecting drop dead chic or high fashion looks coming from her. She looks presentable and despite her vamping, the outfit looks comfortable for her. There is no reason, however, to be walking out on a red carpet with your glasses on your head like you’re in the middle of doing a crossword puzzle.
It’s helped tremendously by one very well-deployed accessory, though:
“I don’t know what mommy’s doing right now but maybe something good to eat will fall off her.”
[Photo Credit: John Rasimus/PacificCoastNews, i-Images/PacificCoastNews, FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]
SamTeeValentino ripped off Ms. Frizzle and they want to sell you her dress for $7,000.
(Amy looks great and obviously if I could afford this dress I would wear it every damn day.)
Amy Poehler makes an appearance on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” to promote her new movie “Sisters” in New York City.
Amy. We’re friends again.
Earlier in the week, Style Armageddon occurred when Miss Amy, who is expected by all to be above such things, had some sort of lapse in sanity and succumbed to the trend for sheer skirts. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth was to be had. Amy must have sensed this disturbance in the Fashion Force and is offering this ridiculously cute and Amy-perfect look.
We accept your apology, darling.
Style Credits:
Valentino ‘Cosmo’ Print Pleated Dress Featuring a band collar and Pussy Bow from the Pre-Fall 2015 Collection
[Photo Credit: NBC, Valentino, Farfetch.com]
SamTeeEverywhere else: Ah, December, the season of giving!
Iceland: Ah, December, season of creepy guys breaking into your house and messing up your stuff!
The Icelandic Jólasveinar (Yule Lads) have little to do with the international Santa Claus. They are descended from trolls, and were originally bogeymen who scared children. During this century they have mellowed, and sometimes don red suits. Their number varied in old times from one region of Iceland to another. The number thirteen was first seen in a poem about Grýla (the Lads’ mother) in the 18th century, and their names were published by Jón Árnason in his folklore collection in 1862.
On December 12, the Yule Lads begin to come to town one by one on each of the thirteen days before Christmas.
The first is Stekkjastaur (Sheep-Cote Clod), who tries to drink the milk from the farmers’ ewes.
On December 13, Giljagaur (Gully Gawk) visits. Before the days of milking machines, he would sneak into the cowshed and skim the froth off the pails of milk.
Next to turn up is Stúfur (Stubby) on December 14. His name implies that he is on the small side. He is also known as Pönnuskefill (pan-scraper), as he scraped scraps of food off the pans.
On December 15, Þvörusleikir (Spoon-Licker) comes down from the mountains. He steals wooden spoons that have been used for stirring. When he visits the National Museum, he goes looking for wooden spoons.
On December 16, Pottasleikir (Pot-Licker) comes visiting. He tries to snatch unwashed pots, and licks the scraps from them.
Askasleikir (Bowl-Licker) arrives on December 17. He hides under beds and if someone puts his wooden food-bowl on the floor, he grabs it and licks it clean.
Hurðaskellir (Door-Slammer) barges in on December 18. He is an awfully noisy fellow, who is always slamming doors and keeping people awake.
The Lad who is expected on December 19 is called Skyrgámur (Skyr Gobbler), because he loves skyr so much that he sneaks into the pantry and gobbles up all the skyr.
Bjúgnakrækir (Sausage Swiper) ascends on December 20. He loves sausages of all kinds, and steals them whenever he can.
On December 21, Gluggagægir (Window-Peeper) arrives. He is not as greedy as some of his brothers, but awfully nosy to the point of voyeurism, peeping through windows and even stealing toys he likes the looks of.
On December 22 Gáttaþefur (Doorway-Sniffer) comes calling. He has a big nose, and loves the smell of cakes being baked for Christmas. He often tries to snatch a cake or two for himself.
December 22 is sometimes called hlakkandi (“looking forward”), because the children have started looking forward to Christmas.
On December 23, St. Þorlákur’s Day, Ketkrókur (Meat-Hook) descends. He adores all meat. In olden days he would lower a hook down the kitchen chimney and pull up a leg of lamb hanging from a rafter, or a bit of smoked lamb from a pan, as smoked lamb was traditionally cooked on St. Þorlákur’s Day.
Kertasníkir (Candle-Beggar) is the last to show up on Christmas Eve, December 24. In olden times, candlelight was the brightest light available. Candles were so rare and precious that it was a treat for children to be given a candle at Christmas. And poor Candle Beggar wanted one too.
During the thirteen days before Christmas, the National Museum presents actors dressed as the old-school Jólasveinar. They show up around 11 am each day.
—
National Museum,
Suðurgata 41, 101 Reykjavík.
Tel. 530 2200.
www.thjodminjasafn.is
This article originally appeared in issue 16/2005.
The post Hey, It’s Those Yule Lads! appeared first on The Reykjavik Grapevine.
“My parents made 200 Christmas Cards right before my girlfriend and I broke up. Sent them anyways.”
(via source)
The post TBD appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
SamTeeCANNOT see an ad for this movie without thinking "Young Guy and the Sea. Big Spring Breaker for us. CGI the fish. Let’s fast-track this one."
Chris Hemsworth attends the European premiere of “In the Heart of the Sea” at the Empire Leicester Square in London, England.
Thor in a too-tight suit? Here you go:
You’re welcome. Especially for that last shot.
But at the risk of being stoned in the streets … isn’t the ’90s boy band hair a dealbreaker?
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]
SamTeeEvery movie with the line "Computer, enhance!"
credit: Almet
SamTeeIn case you needed a middle school flashback today. Apparently I still remember a frankly shocking and embarrassing number of the words to this song.
I have what you might call an awkward fetish. Not “awkward” in a slouching, Etsyish way, nor in the sense of bad kissing and stilted body language—I mean deep, prickly off-ness, like when grown Canadian men try very hard to seem like American teenagers.
Anyway, this #1 CanPop hit went to #22 in the United States.
Painted on the east side of the Lani Nalu Plaza building in Honolulu, trompe-l’oeil artist John Pugh’s mural Mana Nalu (Power of the Wave) depicts Liliuokalani, the last monarch of the Hawaiian Islands, and surfing pioneer Duke Kahanamoku.
Pugh took a year and a half to create the image, working with 14 other artists. The whole scene is painted, including the wave, the skylight, the balcony, the urns, the children, and the staircase.
“After the mural was near completion,” Pugh writes, “a fire truck with crew stopped in the middle of traffic and jumped out to rescue the children in the mural. They got about 15 feet away and then doubled over laughing that they were fooled into an emergency response mode. I don’t think that there were any liability issues for a false report.”
More of Pugh’s work here and on his website.
(Thanks, Ron.)
Please support Futility Closet on Patreon!
“There had always been something comforting in melancholy for him, as though it were a purposeful tradition he was taking part in.”
–Patrick deWitt, Undermajordomo Minor
Kauai, Hawaii
While it might seem strange, given their beauty, it turns out that a few national park visitors aren’t leaving their vacations satisfied at all. And they’re taking to Yelp to voice their complaints.
Canyonlands, UT, US
Alabama Hills, CA, US
Manly Beach, Australia
Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, WY, US
Moraine Lake, Canada
Little Corona Beach, CA, US
Uluru (Ayers Rock), Australia
Kauai, Hawaii
El Matador State Beach, CA, US
Yellowstone National Park, WY, US
Crater Lake, OR, US
Grand Canyon, AZ, US
12 Apostles, Australia
Badlands National Park, SD, US
Mt Fuji, Japan
Pulpit’s Rock, Norway
Silver Falls, OR, US
Grand Canyon, AZ, US
Mount Rainier, WA, US
Ben Nevis – tallest mountain in UK
Waitomo Caves, New Zealand
Inca Trail, Peru
Haleakalā National Park, Hawaii
Hadrian’s Wall, England
Lake Baikal, Siberia
Crater Lake, OR, US
Lake Pehoé, Chile
Yosemite National Park, CA, US
Krka National Park, Croatia
Devil’s Rock, WY, US
(via source)
Kauai, Hawaii
While it might seem strange, given their beauty, it turns out that a few national park visitors aren’t leaving their vacations satisfied at all. And they’re taking to Yelp to voice their complaints.
Canyonlands, UT, US
Alabama Hills, CA, US
Manly Beach, Australia
Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, WY, US
Moraine Lake, Canada
Little Corona Beach, CA, US
Uluru (Ayers Rock), Australia
Kauai, Hawaii
El Matador State Beach, CA, US
Yellowstone National Park, WY, US
Crater Lake, OR, US
Grand Canyon, AZ, US
12 Apostles, Australia
Badlands National Park, SD, US
Mt Fuji, Japan
Pulpit’s Rock, Norway
Silver Falls, OR, US
Grand Canyon, AZ, US
Mount Rainier, WA, US
Ben Nevis – tallest mountain in UK
Waitomo Caves, New Zealand
Inca Trail, Peru
Haleakalā National Park, Hawaii
Hadrian’s Wall, England
Lake Baikal, Siberia
Crater Lake, OR, US
Lake Pehoé, Chile
Yosemite National Park, CA, US
Krka National Park, Croatia
Devil’s Rock, WY, US
(via source)
The post One Star Reviews Of National Parks appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
SamTeeI sooo needed this today. Too perfect to even quote one part.
Oh, you know, another day, another 3D Chess Match between a computer and a psychic. Well, sort of.
I got my eye on u girl
I mean I know that the crew all think of Data as a person, but this seems to me like Deanna agreed to race a calculator through all the numbers of π. Except because we’re in the Star Trekoverse, she’s winning?
Data, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but: suck it.
It feels like Deanna’s eye makeup is turned up to max, and she’s got anime eyes. It’s almost a little creepy.
For what it’s worth, 3D chess was where I realized I would never be a true, committed trekkie. I had these Star Trek collector cards—not for a game or anything, they were just, like, baseball cards—and there was one that explained 3D chess and I read half of the card and then was like “UGH BORING” and now whenever I look at a 3D chess set on TNG I get a little mad. So Deanna wins? And they bet that if she won Data would have to make her a “Samarian Sunset in the Traditional Style as Only You Can Make It.” Sure, I knew it was a cocktail in my responsible brain, but I wanted it to be some weird sex thing that only Data can do. Just think about it for a second. They never let us know what Data would get if Deanna lost.
Anyway, then we get this:
I’m pretty sure this is the first and only time a wine glass has been used on this show.
Somewhere in here I wanted to ask why Data needed to do this and why the replicator couldn’t and then I was like, “oh, that’s why I’m single.” Anyway, you can’t quite tell with the gif, but the result is indeed Tang. So who’s the real loser here, Deanna?
Anyway, I’m sort of skipping around… this is a “what’s happening around the ship” style-opening, which never gives off any type of foreboding. I need to see something reassuring.
FULL GOLDEN.
Bev is just treating someone’s afflictions like it ain’t no thang. This girl is indeed wearing a bathing suit which we will get more into in a few scenes.
Strut-off
All you need to know is that this strut-off is followed by a swagger-off, and concluded with a quick sass-off. I wonder what THAT’s a setup for.
And then there are some bitches on the bridge, and this ship shows up.
Aww look it’s so adorable!
But it starts scanning the ship in this frankly pretty hostile way and Picard tries to hail them but they don’t respond so he’s like
I’m literally throwing my up my hands
This would also would be good for a PSA about manspreading. “Don’t be a Riker. Be a Picard.” Anyway, shit gets real.
No, that’s not from that time you put that really strong magnet that came with the Klutz Book of Magnets too close to the TV, there is some shit going down for real (in this fictional show).
It hits the bridge too.
Crossover with Slimer???
Worse. As in, lamer. After the green flash everyone’s like
This subtle fish-eye lens is just the best. Wait, hold on…
Towelie is Picard might be my next Jennus Mumbledore-style project.
Nobody can remember anything, EVEN WHO THEY ARE? Which is a PROBLEM because there’s suddenly another dude there?
He’s totally got that face that people put on when they’re at a party they weren’t invited to but want to look super caj but are looking like WAY too caj.
Maybe he and Rikes will have a strong-hair-off. So, like, they try and figure out who is in charge and Worf is like “i’m decorated” pointing to his fancy sash, and then he’s like
Who’s captain, now, bitchez?
Look at that kingly limp-wrist! Don’t stand up too fast, Worf, because I’m fairly certain you’ve got a throne boner. A throner. (Also I’m assuming Klingon wangs have blades so it’d also shred your pants.)
(Oh man, I google searched on Klingon penises and while I didn’t find a conclusive answer I did find out more than I wanted to know. In other news, I almost want this site to be a really subtle type of single-panel storytelling: www.aliendildos.com).
Where was I? Oh yes, nobody knows who they are.
Judging by my hair and outfit, I think I might be the missing member of Sparkle Motion.
This lady’s backstory is that she was doing high dives in the holodeck, and Beverly says to her TOTALLY SERIOUSLY “It looks like you tucked when you should have straightened out” and I was like IF I HAD A NICKEL. Violet Chachki could totally have played this role, except for the fact that she was born FOUR MONTHS AFTER THIS EPISODE AIRED.
There’s scant fashion in this episode, so I should say something about the suit, but all I can think of is that that suit looks like a terrible choice for diving. Wouldn’t the neckline immediately go right beneath her boobs when she hit the water? Also it looks like one strap is thinner than the other which might be the show’s swipe at FUTURE but instead looks like someone was a little tipsy with the fabric scissors. The fabric looks a little more Sparkle Motiony on screen, and less like the funeral swimwear it shows up as here.
Okay so nobody remembers nothing so I think we all know what that means.
RIKIES IS GETTIN’ LAID
BUT BY WHOM?!???!?!??!?!!!?!?!?!???!?
Deanna nooooooo! I mean, make your own choices girl. Also she does whatever she’s doing to his hair TWICE and both times it’s like… what? I also did not research what her and Will’s relationship status was at this point in the series but I generally assume that it’s always set to “it’s Complicated.” There’s this mega cheeseball thing where the only memory on the ship that didn’t get wiped was Deanna’s empathic love of Will Riker, which would be like if they scorched the planet earth and just left a single Arby’s standing.
Arby’s: Just because Jon Stewart isn’t on the air anymore doesn’t mean it’s not vomitrocious sadness in a leaking paper bag.
So the answer to my question is Ro because of course that’s who the cold open telegraphed down our throats would be the one Riker hooks up with.
He-Ro Nurse!
Actually, what she’s wearing is kinda cute.
It’s kind of like a summer dress on a planet where there’s nothing but sadness.
I shouldn’t be so hard on it, though that beigecoal color is like… so close to an actual color. Instead it looks like it was swatched against the chair behind her.
Oh, and, uh, they bone. I believe the line is:
RIKER: What if I snore in my sleep?
RO: What makes you think you’re going to get any sleep?
BOKAY.
There’s this weird shot at some point of Riker looking at his desk and being like WHO AM I?
Huh… that doesn’t tell us much.
Of course, we know better.
But, like, right?
I have nothing to base this on but it almost seems like this might have been inspiration for that Forget-Me-Now storyline on Arrested Development.
Ugh and then Will almost macks on Troi.
It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion.
Fortunately it turns into a multi-car pileup.
Riker and Deanna are sporting matching “We are so busted” faces.
The best part of this scene is that Ro basically “Bye, Deanna.”
Oh god this is going on far too long for an episode that has only three outfits.
At some point that imposter dude calls on Worf to tap into his Klingon lust for battle. For some reason there are some strategically placed ornaments on his desk.
I was going to ask why one was slightly lower than the other and then I answered my own question and shut up.
This dude is even drumming his fingers evilly on the desk. Worf sort of agrees and then gets the CLOSEST UP SHOT.
I’m ready for my close-up Mr. Roddenberry.
I think it was on the episode of Reading Rainbow where LeVar goes behind the scenes of TNG that I learned that Michael Dorn’s makeup took something crazy like 4 hours everyday, and you know what, I believe it. Look at that tight brow game!
Of course Picard is like mad suspish, and we get this nice shot.
This reminds me of a movie or TV poster that I can’t remember. Anyone have any ideas?
Long story short (oh, far, far too late) the imposter dude convinces them to shoot on a defenseless ship and then basically his plan is to get the Enterprise to blow up the headquarters of this alien race, but he’s found out and then they shoot him with phasers!!!
Ew, phaser fire does NOT look good on you.
They figure out how to restore memories and everything’s fine! But it was just in the nick of time. It was close enough that Picard desperately needs a cup of tea.
YOU GUYS BODUM WILL EXIST IN THE FUTURE
Picard is being VERY tactile with that mug just sayin.
Will meanwhile heads down to Ten-Forward.
Forget Will for a sec… this lady on the left!
She’s got some bold color choices going on but I don’t hate it, because she seems to be committing to it. I scoured the episode for another view and found one from earlier.
Gift Basket Bow Hair
I mean, aside from the eighties wispy spray bangs, I kind of like this outfit. Her lip color is also strong without being matchy and the lines of the outfit make me think it belongs to the business-casual jumpsuit collection, which I think we can all agree is something we want the future to grow into.
Also 100+ points to Command for this officer’s sassy eyeroll! This shot is from when everyone first lost their memory and I bet this dude was trying to mansplain what was going on /slash/ using the memory event to try and get some action, and this lady was like, “don’t even,” and then performed “No Scrubs” during what I can only assume is Ten Forward’s regular Karaoke night.
Though the fact that Purple Lady was there both when the disaster first happened AND at the end of the show suggests that she lives in the bar and/or has a healthy drinking habit. Either way I’d kick it with her.
So why is Riker here?
They are definitely drinking Spearmint Scope and Cherry Robitussin.
Also, what is that random ball? I feel like I’m seeing balls everywhere (ba-dum-bump?).
Don’t worry, Rikes, they are DEFINITELY giggling about all the ways you are pretty bad in bed.
Buck up, man, there’s always the holodeck.
Just make sure you clean up after. Ew.
SamTeeI sincerely hope all these parents are filing these away in the "save to show future spouse" file.
(via source)
(via source)
The post 18 Hilarious Camp Letters appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
SamTeeI actually loooove having our interns around but I can't stop giggling at this.
credit: Amanda
SamTeeI apologize in advance but anything with angsty Marissa Cooper is an instashare for me.
“How does anyone get over anything in places where the weather doesn’t change? If you live someplace where the seasons are all the same, how do you get over any one or thing.”
–Julia Pierpont, Among the Ten Thousand Things
SamTeeThis is so bizarre and also now I'm dizzy.
So much for the opposites attract theory.
(Via Source)
So much for the opposites attract theory.
(Via Source)
The post Twin Couples appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
Zadie Smith has been recruited by Claire Denis for the writer-director’s new film, a space adventure set beyond our solar system in a future “that seems like the present.”
Filed under: All of my Interests, Relevant To.
