IKEA Monkey

With foreign newcomers like Lidl and Aldi landing on our shores, and online services like Amazon creeping onto an already crowded grocery battlefield, traditional grocers are willing to do whatever they can to keep customers coming back. At Kroger, that means slashing prices on popular staples like milk and eggs, in an effort to signal to customers that their stores have the best deals on the everyday items they need.

Kroger — which also operates Fred Meyer, Ralph’s, and Fry’s — announced declining sales at established locations for the second quarter in a row, a first after more than seven years of growth, notes the Associated Press.

While it costs money to cut prices on such items, Kroger Chief Financial Officer Michael Schlotmansays the investment is worth it in certain markets where rivals had “very hot features” on milk and eggs.

“While this affects gross margin in the short-term, it is less expensive than regaining a customer’s loyalty,” Schlotman said on an earnings call.

When asked by analysts about the looming threat of Lidl, which has other supermarkets cutting prices and renovating stores to prevent losing customers, Kroger executives sounded confident that they could compete with the German discount store by offering things its new rival won’t.

“If you look at the base experience of the supermarket in the U.S., we would typically offer more services in terms of every store would have a butcher that’s there ready to help,” said CEO Rodney McMullen, adding that when it comes to things like produce, Kroger’s will also offer a better variety of fresh items.

“We are confident that we will continue winning with our people, our food, and the customer experience, and we will not lose on price,” McMullen vowed.

Vice President Mike Pence has hired an outside lawyer to represent him during the Russia investigation, a sign that key members of the administration are gearing up for a protracted legal tug-of-war with Congress and Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

According to The Washington Post, Pence tapped prominent Virginia attorney Richard Cullen to serve as his outside counsel in the ongoing congressional and criminal probes. Cullen comes with a strong background in criminal-justice matters: He previously served as the state’s attorney general and as the chief federal prosecutor in its prestigious Eastern District in the 1990s before returning to private practice. The Post said Pence spent “several weeks” interviewing potential candidates, suggesting he began the process shortly after Trump ousted former FBI Director James Comey on May 9.

There have been no indications that Pence himself is a subject of or person of interest in any aspect of the sprawling Russia investigation, including questions of whether Trump committed obstruction of justice. But his possible presence at the White House during key moments to date could make him a potential witness as federal investigators delve into Trump’s treatment of the inquiry. Mueller could interview the vice president about what he saw before and after the firings of both former National-Security Adviser Michael Flynn in February and Comey in May, for example.

Hiring Cullen runs counter to the advice Marc Kasowitz, a Manhattan-based corporate attorney and Trump’s longtime legal fixer, reportedly gave to White House staff after the president hired him as outside counsel last month for the Russia probe. According to The New York Times, Kasowitz recently told worried staffers it wasn’t yet necessary to hire private attorneys, even as Mueller’s inquiry and congressional investigations continue to intensify.

Bringing in outside counsel is common for top executive-branch officials when a criminal or congressional inquiry sets its sights on the president or his inner circle, even for those not under investigation for wrongdoing. Top aides in the Bill Clinton and George W. Bush administrations paid hefty legal fees to the lawyers who represented them for years during the Whitewater and Monica Lewinsky probes and the Valerie Plame investigation. Trump’s White House staff may face similar financial and legal woes now that the Russia inquiry has expanded to include obstruction-of-justice allegations against the president.

Presidents under investigation can also rack up extensive costs. Bill and Hillary Clinton, for example, left the White House in 2001 with multimillion-dollar legal debts to the phalanx of attorneys who represented them through multiple federal inquiries and the impeachment hearings. (Lucrative book deals and six-figure speaker fees helped them pay off those costs within four years.) But Trump’s substantial wealth will likely forestall the need for any extraordinary measures on his part to pay off any fees he accrues in the years to come—a luxury many in his White House won’t enjoy.

It would usually be difficult to compile so many memorable quotes from a President, but Trump has produced so many that it's actually difficult to whittle them down to just 71. If Trump's presidency already alarms you, then be warned: some of these quotes may keep you up at night.

New Trulia report focuses on areas in or near big cities with the best value for new buyers

For first-time homebuyers in the United States, finding an affordable starter home has become more and more of a challenge. Just a scant 21 percent of home inventory nationally can be considered a starter home, according to recent Trulia data, and the number of such homes has decreased in 75 of the country’s 100 biggest metro areas (dropping a startling 80 percent in some popular markets such as Austin).

But in certain neighborhoods, there are still value buys that offer significant savings on the median sale price, according to a new Trulia report, America’s Best Value Neighborhoods. Instead of compiling a list of the cheapest neighborhoods, the residential real estate site factored in housing cost and amenity level with school ranking, crime stats, and commute times to figure out where buyers received the “best bang for the buck” when searching for an affordable home.

Here are five neighborhoods in expensive metro areas that offer the best combination of price and livability, according to the Trulia analysis. An interactive map also offers value neighborhoods for other major metro areas.

Trulia

New York City: Yonkers, New York

Trulia found the Ludlow neighborhood in Yonkers, in Westchester County just north of New York, offered exceptional value for the region, with low crime, good schools and amenities, and a median list price of $463,401 (the metro median home value is $657,900). For those who want to stay in New York City, outer-borough neighborhoods such as Woodlawn Heights and Pelham Gardens in the Bronx, Westerleigh on Staten Island, and Glendale and Woodhaven in Queens all offer homes around $500,000.

Trulia

San Francisco: Redwood City, California

Underscoring the report’s focus on value, homes in this South Bay city aren’t necessarily cheaper than those in the region as a whole: median home values range from $1.1 million to $1.4 million in Redwood City, straddling the $1.2 million San Francisco average. But with great amenities and a 30-minute ride to downtown via the Caltrain, Redwood City neighborhoods such as Palm Park, Roosevelt, Redwood Oaks, and Woodside Plaza offer a great return on investment.

Trulia

Washington, D.C. Avondale, Maryland

Trulia’s research found some great values in the District, including Kingman Park. But the best values near the capital can be found in the University Park neighborhood of Avondale, Maryland, which boasts good schools, low crime, and a median home value of $455,189, a little more than $100,000 under the area’s median listing price of $558,500.

Trulia

Chicago: Palatine

The midwest city’s median home value—$222,000—underscores how many neighborhoods remain relatively affordable For the best value, Trulia suggests heading to the near-north suburb of Palatine, specifically Fairgrounds Park, where the median homes value is $238,018, and commutes are relatively easy.

Trulia

Miami: Melrose Vista

Southern Florida’s boom-to-bust market offers low prices compared to other major metro areas: the median home value is $298,300, and the median list price is $435,000 and trending lower. Trulia found the best values in Broward County, specifically the Flamingo Park and Riverland Village neighborhoods of what the site is calling Melrose Vista (technically Fort Lauderdale), which have “killer schools” that scored near the top of Trulia’s rankings and median home values of $220,942.

Oscar-nominated actor Jeff Chandler was its first owner

Have a nomination for a jaw-dropping listing that would make a mighty fine House of the Day? Get thee to the tipline and send us your suggestions. We'd love to see what you've got.

Location: Rancho Mirage, California

Price: $659,000

This desert midcentury modern bungalow in Rancho Mirage, California, was built in 1957 and comes with a side of juicy Hollywood history. The 1,789-square-foot home was first owned by Oscar-nominated actor Jeff Chandler, who bought the house while having an affair with Esther Williams during the filming of Raw Wind in Eden. (He was also known for having gray hair at a young age, according to Wikipedia.)

The post-and-beam has since been carefully updated yet still maintains many of its charming period details. A skylit courtyard entryway with chinoiserie leads to the great room, which is characterized by a wall of windows, exposed-beam ceiling, large stone hearth, and an open layout that encompasses a dining area. Behind this is a pristine white kitchen, complete with a smoker and what appears to original cabinetry.

Three spacious bedrooms including an ensuite master, and a second bathroom round out the rest of the residence, whose amenities do not stop there. Outside, an oversized sparkling pool holds court in the backyard, which also includes a fire pit and a retro trailer (available outside of escrow).

If desert living with a touch of Hollywood glamour is your think, the home at 71543 Tangier Road is offered at $659,000.

Courtesy of Matthew Reader

Two teenagers spent a whole 72 hours lost in the underground Paris catacombs amid the ancient remains of more than 6 million people like some terrible Dan Brown plot come to life, the Guardian reports.

Paris police tracked down the pair with the help of rescue dogs who tracked the kids' scent, before they were quickly rushed to the hospital for hypothermia. The 16- and 17-year-old had apparently been wandering around in the dark, cold 170-mile maze of tunnels for about three days, looking for a way out.

"It was thanks to the dogs that we found them," a Paris fire department spokesman told the Guardian.

The Paris catacombs, which stretch out beneath the city's streets, are lined with centuries-old human skulls and bones, transferred there in the 1780s to deal with overflowing cemeteries. Getting lost for days in the claustrophobic, pitch-black passages would probably be a nightmare.

Only a small portion of the catacombs is open to tourists, but it's no huge secret that you can access the underground tunnels through spots around the city. Plenty of urban explorers have been known to sneak down there and creep around forbidden zones, sometimes with journalists in tow.

The identities of the two teens have yet to be released, and it's still unclear whether or not they were on a guided tour when they got lost, or if they'd just snuck down on their own for some Robert Langdon LARPing. Whatever the case, they're now thankfully back above ground with the living.

Newsmax CEO Chris Ruddy is standing by his assertion that Trump is contemplating the removal of Robert Mueller, the special prosecutor overseeing the federal investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election.

US leadership on the global stage is worse under Donald Trump than his predecessor Barack Obama, according to veteran Republican senator, John McCain. The long-serving conservative who frequently criticised Mr Obama's foreign policy said Mr Trump's penchant for inflammatory tweets sent a message that "America doesn’t want to lead". The world was "not sure of American leadership, whether it be in Siberia or whether it be in Antarctica," he told The Guardian.

President Trump Tuesday gave GOP senators a green light to take health care reform in a different direction from the House-passed bill which he called "mean."

Don’t expect to see Donald Trump holding up a Golden State Warriors jersey anytime soon. A report surfaced hours after the Warriors beat the Cleveland Cavaliers in Game 5 of the NBA Finals that made it clear the Warriors have no intention of carrying out a long-held tradition in professional American sports.

They’re officially the first men’s team to eschew the Trump White House, though others have found a way to avoid it as well. The Chicago Cubs visited Barack Obama in his last days in office even though they won their first World Series in 103 years just weeks before Trump was elected in November.

NCAA football champion Clemson visited Trump in the White House last week, while the Patriots had a visit with the 45th president in a group that may or may not have been smaller than the last time they won. Some notable players did, however, decide not to attend the visit, including friend of the president Tom Brady.

Still, Golden State skipping the White House isn’t very surprising given the political leanings of the Warriors players and head coach Steve Kerr. He’s been a vocal critic of Trump’s Muslim immigration ban, while Stephen Curry has even spoken out about his dislike of Trump.

The impact Obama had on how many NBA players view their role in politics has been discussed by the likes of Kobe Bryant and others in the past, and given LeBron James‘ own political activism it was likely either team would have skipped the ceremonial visit after this season.

But Golden State won in five, also winning the right to officially snub Donald Trump first.

In Trump's America, the press is under attack. You know what I'm talking about—in your head, do a montage of Donald Trump saying "fake news," congressional candidates body-slamming reporters, and so on. But on Tuesday, that war intensified, when a swarm of bees lingered outside Vox Media's New York City offices.

What Are Bees?

"Bees are flying insects closely related to wasps and ants, known for their role in pollination and, in the case of the best-known bee species, the European honey bee, for producing honey and beeswax," says Wikipedia.

The guy on the Cheerio box? The main character of that Jerry Seinfeld movie that became a meme? You guessed it—both are bees.

What Are They Doing Outside Vox?

The bees have been buzzing in the entrance of Vox's office building since before 8 AM this morning. Retired NYPD cop and "bee guru" Anthony "Tony Bees" Planakis told Gothamist that the swarm settled into the entrance of 85 Broad Street because they were looking for a new home.

"Had beekeepers not arrived to take the swarm away, the bees likely would have taken off a second time in search of a place to set up a new hive. Doing so in the concrete canyons by Wall Street is a tough proposition, given that bees tend to seek out wooden hollows as sites for their houses," Gothamist reported.

What Is Vox?

Vox is a media company infamous for its explainer articles. Its greatest hits include: "Star Wars, explained," "SoulCycle, explained," "Same-sex marriage in the US, explained," "The internet, explained," and "Anthony Weiner and the rise of dick pics, explained."

Why Are the Bees Outside Vox?

They were probably looking for a new home, like all of us.

Do Bees Have Sex?

Yes.

Should I Be Worried?

Do you work at Vox? If not, these bees are probably far away from you! So it's OK. Even if you are a Vox employee, it's fine. As Tony Bees says, "People have nothing to worry about."

But bee stings hurt! Even if you are into bee sting therapy, which is a real thing Gwyneth Paltrow has endorsed, you probably want to get stung by some kind of special bees, not these random bees hanging out in Manhattan.

Don't go near the bees.

Why Did You Write This Article?

I was born with a gift—to explain things. I even have my own column called "EVESPLAINING." You're welcome for the explanation.

Follow Eve Peyser on Twitter.

To see more unmatched reporting, visit theonion.com.

A close personal friend of Donald Trump on Monday raised the politically explosive possibility that the president could take action to fire Robert Mueller, the recently appointed special counsel tasked with looking into Russian meddling in last year's election and potential collusion with the Trump...

Terrance Ferguson was a five-star prospect that was committed to play college basketball at both Alabama and, later, Arizona. In the end, though, the talented swingman elected to pursue the professional basketball route by signing with the Adelaide 36ers in Australia and, less than a year later, Ferguson appears poised to be selected as a first round pick in the 2017 NBA Draft.

In a recent interview with Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer, Ferguson did not hold back when discussing the option that he chose to make money in his first year after high school instead of playing college hoops for free.

“At college, the only people making money off you are the coaches. You’re not making anything off your jersey sales, ticket sales. Not anything. So go overseas, the way I did, and get your money’s worth. Get paid for what you’re doing.”

Ferguson certainly isn’t the first or only person to arrive at the thought process that playing sports for free isn’t as good as getting paid for similar work. However, he is the next in an increasingly long line of players that could be pursuing this angle. Brandon Jennings, who continues to function as an NBA point guard, paved the way in some respects and, for as much as Adam Silver and the NBA have made noise about a potential change, the one-and-done movement is still a reality.

Beyond the workforce issue that is absolutely in play, Ferguson also argued that he is now “more prepared” to enter the NBA than the other players in his high school class that spent a few months on college campuses.

“I’m way more prepared than any college player. A college player is coming in thinking he’s the man. After you’ve sat on the bench (on a pro team), they’re not going to like that. I’ve already faced that overseas. I overcome that, so I have the right mindset coming into the league.”

“Most one-and-done players are only going to spend a couple of months in college. You’ve got to do school work and all this other stuff. When you go overseas, you’ll spend the same amount of months (before being NBA draft-eligible), but you’ll be focused (exclusively) on straight-on basketball.”

The word “epidemic” has been used in association with players like Jennings, Ferguson and Emmanuel Mudiay electing to forego one year of college to make money on the hardwood. At this point, though, the number of players who have successfully navigated this strategy is low enough to where the NCAA probably isn’t terribly worried. With the advent of two-way NBA contracts and the newly invigorated buzz surrounding rule changes, though, players might be more willing to follow in Ferguson’s footsteps and that is even more likely should he succeed in the league.

The company behind ABC's "Bachelor in Paradise" has suspended production of the reality show while producers look into allegations of misconduct on the set in Mexico.

Warner Bros. says it is "conducting a thorough investigation of these allegations" and "appropriate responsive action" will be taken...

Arby's Pizza Slider features Genoa salami, pepperoni, provolone cheese, and marinara sauce on a mini bun.

I picked one up for $1.29 on a promo (Arby's sliders are normally $1.59 a piece).

The marinara definitely did the bulk of the heavy lifting for the new slider and provided a little bit of sweet and a lot of tangy with a just bit of herb notes.

Between the sauce, the pepperoni, and the salami, the Pizza Slider was quite salty.

There was a decently thick provolone slice but it couldn't cut through the sauce in terms of flavor and didn't provide the desired gooey factor you might get from a better melting cheese.

There's rustic dinner roll feel to Arby's slider bun. It's more dense than Arby's regular bun but was still soft and sported just a bit more of a crust.

When it comes down to it, Arby's Pizza Slider was more of a pizza sauce slider in my book and a very salty one at that.

Nutritional Info - Arby's Pizza Slider (95g)
Calories - 300 (from Fat - 150)
Fat - 17g (Saturated Fat - 6g)
Sodium - 930mg
Carbs - 23g (Sugar - 2g)
Protein - 13g

While speaking in the White House Rose Garden on Friday, President Trump said he’d be willing to testify under oath “100 percent” to refute the testimony of former FBI Director James Comey. He also said he would inform the public about the existence of tapes in a short while, but the media would be “very disappointed” when he does. When asked why he feels vindicated by Comey’s testimony, Trump said, “No collusion. No obstruction. He’s a leaker. But we want to get back to running our great country.”

The augmented reality game is bringing together trainers IRL

To celebrate the upcoming anniversary Pokémon Go—the location-based augmented reality game that basically took over the world last summer and was downloaded a whopping 750 million times—developer Niantic Labs has announced a series of both in-app and in-person events rolling out over the next couple of months.

On June 13th, Niantic will host an in-game event called the Solstice Event that will feature Fire-type and Ice-type Pokémon, XP bonuses for throwing Poké Balls accurately, and discounted Lucky Eggs. A new update focusing on “collaborative group gameplay” is also coming soon.

As for the IRL part, the first-ever real-world event will take place at Grant Park in Chicago on July 22. Pokémon Go Fest Chicago is billed as a celebration of the Pokémon Go community of “trainers”—who have already come out to their respective cities in droves and boosted civic engagement in the process—that will feature, according to the press release, “a ton of exciting activities.” Details are slim, but tickets go on sale on June 19. Events are also planned in Europe and in Yokohama, Japan, where a “Pikachu Outbreak” will take place in August.

Via: The Verge

Is it upsetting to receive an ingredient in your food that you do not like? Sure. But please, the next time your meal isn’t satisfactory, just remember to keep your pants on: Police in Pittsburgh say a man who was angry about the onions in his food on Monday returned to express his displeasure on Tuesday — and showed employees a bit more than they wanted to see.

KDKA reports that employees at a local Indian restaurant were not thrilled when the man showed up again — apparently drunk — a day after he’d been “acting belligerent” toward staff about his meal.

According to a criminal complaint, the man refused to leave multiple times, and then threatened to shoot the owner, and reached for his pants pocket.

The owner called police, but while he and another worker were waiting for them to arrive, the man reportedly pulled down his pants and exposed himself.

Police say that when they showed up, the suspect smelled of alcohol, had blood shot eyes, and was slurring his speech while speaking nonsense. He eventually told officers he’d gotten into a dispute with staff over onions on his food.

He refused to leave even when police told him to, the report says, and resisted arrest when officers tried to take him into custody, forcing them to lift him into the backseat of the police cruiser for his trip to Allegheny County jail.

He’s been charged with terroristic threats, indecent exposure, public drunkenness, and resisting arrest. He’s also earned himself a spot on a long list of customers who have overreacted in these kinds of situations:

• A customer who attacked a McDonald’s cashier and ordering screens because she was unhappy with her food

• There was the shopper accused of burning down the mall because she couldn’t find a shopping cart

• The Taco Bell customer who allegedly shot at a store over forgotten sour cream

• A Wendy’s patron who police said trashed the restaurant because she was dissatisfied with her order

• An incident in France where an Apple store customer smashed up the store because the company wouldn’t replace his defective iPhone

• The accused shoplifter who bit off the finger of the Walmart worker who confronted her for stealing

• Drive-thru customers who allegedly attacked a Burger King worker because their order wasn’t ready fast enough

• An angry Wendy’s customer who was arrested for biting a manager because of a mixup in her order

• The all-out brawl at a pizzeria that police said was caused by unwanted cheese on a customer’s order of garlic knots

• A New York City bus passenger who was arrested for hijacking the bus after the driver told her to stop smoking on it

• The guy who was accused of slashing a Dunkin’ Donuts worker in the face after being asked to leave the store

• A McDonald’s customer who ended up in a tie-grabbing, right-hook flying kerfuffle with a worker because he was tired of waiting for his change

• The man who police said shattered a glass door at Waffle House because he was cranky about his bill for sausage biscuits

• A customer who was turned down for a loan who allegedly threatened a Kia dealership with a handgun

• Yet another shoplifting suspect accused of biting someone; this time it was a Target security officer’s arm

• The Macy’s customer who was accused of biting an employee in a dispute over a price

• An unhappy Subway customer who hurled a sandwich and a soda at an employee and then allegedly tried to hit her with her car

• The Taco Bell customers accused of walking into the restaurant after their drive-thru order was incorrect, and assaulting a fellow patron who stood up for staff with a tire iron

• The guy who was so upset that his US Airways flight was overbooked, he stripped naked at the Charlotte Airport to show his displeasure

• A man who police said pitched a condiment-throwing fit over a rest stop’s lack of macaroni and cheese and potatoes

• Accused dine-and-dashers who allegedly ran over a waitress who was trying to confront them about their bill

• The Pizza Hut customer who was apparently so mad that his order got lost, he allegedly drove his car into the restaurant

• A Walmart customer who was caught on tape head-butting a tax worker during an argument in the store

• The bodega customer who was accused of using a stolen credit card and then allegedly trying to set the clerk on fire with Axe body spray

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WASHINGTON (AP) — Vice President Mike Pence's wife, Karen, has opened their government residence to more than a few new inhabitants: honeybees. At least 15,000 of them.

And still on a downward spiral, methinks?

"Beat it. If you don't like this country, leave," a man said to the group of girls. From there, it got more racist and profane. [ more › ]

My quest for ’70s globular vintage lamps

I first glimpsed a table lamp in the shape of an egg on Furnish Green’s website, but it was a little outside of my price range. By the time I realized that its gently curving frosted-glass shade was, in fact, the only luminaire that would complete me, it had been sold. I was bereft.

My highly-suggestible shopping persona fixated on incorporating the humble egg—arguably the Platonic ideal of a life form—into my home decor. That’s when I noticed the ovoid shape cropping up in minimalist jewelry aimed at the fashion set.

Thankfully, the internet is a literal treasure trove (or junk yard, depending on your perspective). Googling “egg lamp” led me to the world of Newark, New Jersey-based Laurel Lamp Company, a popular 1970s manufacturer of midcentury modern lighting. Although information on the company was scarce, its glass lamps, available in a range of organic, globular shapes, were prevalent on sites like 1st Dibs—but for a hefty price tag.

While my egg lamp went for around $300 on Furnish Green, they were selling for between $750 and $2,350 each on the luxury antique marketplace. Damn.

But during my quest, I had a light-bulb moment. A table lamp with a libidinous upside-down-acorn-shaped shade perched on a brass tulip base—also by Laurel—beckoned to me. There was something so familiar about its sensuous silhouette and its almost obscene bulge at what might be called the lighting implement’s hips.

Then I realized where I had seen it. It was, in fact, a beacon of sorts, lighting my childhood from our house on St. Andrews Drive across the street from one by Frank Lloyd Wright’s son, to the small condo we hunkered down in for a few years after we were evicted. In my memory, a stray ball thrown by one of my younger siblings had destroyed the glass mushroom topper. Too bad.

I excitedly emailed the link to my dad: “Wasn't this the lamp we used to have? It broke, right? It was such a nice lamp!”

He wrote back immediately: “That one is sitting on my desk. Finish is faded so it's more like silver now.”

I urged him to check the tags. Sure enough, it was labeled “Laurel Lamp Mfg. Co., Inc.”

“So how much?” he asked.

The same lamp but with a white base was going for $1,580. My dad was impressed. He said he’d always wanted to throw it out. But now he was giving it to me.

As for the egg lamp, I found one on eBay from a seller in Arkansas for $225. Although I inquired about the provenance of the lamp I couldn’t get a straight answer. I thought it was worth the risk, so I bought it.

You can buy a lamp that combines the egg shade with a tulip base on Etsy for $495, or a cute plastic one for $29.11. Or if a color-changing mood light is more your thing, here’s one for $75.49.