Pricipal . Caught sayof school that has stoped Handstandsing " See, told ya so" Is He dead or not. CNN Says yes. Tampa Bay Times Looking for chads -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"
Something is going on with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, probably. Is he dead? Is he braindead? Is he Kim Jong Un-Dead? Is he alive? Right now, we don't actually know! There are a lot of rumors and a lot of people saying he's dead or at least brain dead or at least recovering from some heart surgery, but no actual confirmation of anything from North Korean officials.
In Hong Kong, the vice director of HKSTV, a Hong Kong media outlet, posted a status on the Chinese social media site Weibo claiming a "very solid source" told her that Kim Jong Un was full-on dead. A Japanese weekly magazine claims that they have made contact with a Chinese medic who assisted in the dictator's cardiovascular surgery, and quotes that medic as saying that Kim Jong-Un is in a vegetative state. Either of those things could be true, or they could not be true, or they could both be true, at the same time who knows!
Other reports, supposedly from high-ranking Chinese officials in Beijing, are stating that Kim Jong Un went into surgery to have a stent put in, but the surgeon screwed it up because his hands were shaking so badly.
Might be true, might not be! However, it is hard to see why anyone would start a rumor that a world leader is dead/braindead if he were alive, as it is a fairly easy rumor to debunk. All Kim Jong-Un would have to do is walk outside and wave. So far, he has not done that.
Also, reportedly, China has sent a team of medical experts to "advise" on the dictator's health as he recovers from surgery. That seems like it would be a tough thing to do if he is dead, so who knows?
According to some sources, if Kim Jong-Un is dead, which he may not be, his sister Kim Yo-Jong will take the reins. Who knows if that will happen, but it sure would be a little awkward if a notoriously patriarchal country like North Korea were "ready" for a female dictator before the United States was "ready" for a female president.
Really thought this was going to be about Fishing With John
Watch Thisoffers movie recommendations inspired by new releases, premieres, current events, or occasionally just our own inscrutable whims. This week: The Janelle Monáe thriller Antebellum was supposed to hit theaters. In its absence, we’re looking back at films starring musicians.
Wonkette has been watching way more Fox News than we ever wanted to during this time of coronavirus. We've been horrified yet not surprised by just how much dangerous bullshit they've been peddling to their viewers, many of whom are at the highest risk of dying in the pandemic, because of how they are #OldBalls and so very angry. It's all a liberal hoax, take two hydroxycuts and call me in the morning and you'll be fiiiiiiine, and whatever else. It's just been awful.
Vox is reporting on a new science paper that finds a literal actual statistical correlation between watching Hannity a lot and higher incidences of COVID-19 infections and deaths. Don't get mad, Sean Hannity, we are just writing what the paper says! And of course correlation does not necessarily mean causation, yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah go fuck yourself.
Still though.
The paper, written by economists Leonardo Bursztyn, Aakaash Rao, Christopher Roth, and David Yanagizawa-Drott, compares people who watched Hannity during a certain period from February to early March to people who watched Tucker Carlson during the same period (he was being waaaaaaaymore serious about the virus, and he was one of the only ones at Fox doing so), and, well, this is what they found:
Using both a poll of Fox News viewers over age 55 and publicly available data on television-watching patterns, they calculate that Fox viewers who watched Hannity rather than Carlson were less likely to adhere to social distancing rules, and that areas where more people watched Hannity relative to Carlson had higher local rates of infection and death.
"Greater exposure to Hannity relative to Tucker Carlson Tonight leads to a greater number of COVID-19 cases and deaths," they write. "A one-standard deviation increase in relative viewership of Hannity relative to Carlson is associated with approximately 30 percent more COVID-19 cases on March 14, and 21 percent more COVID-19 deaths on March 28."
Sounds like telling your Boomer parents to please social distance from Sean Hannity at all times is just good science.
Good God, Hannity is gonna be pisssssed.
Vox notes that this paper isn't peer-reviewed yet, so we'll have to wait for more scientists to help confirm or deny whether watching Hannity literally is killing your Nana.
And Vox also notes that there's a lot of scholarship that shows that the people who watch Fox News literally do and think what Fox News tells them to do and think.
The early reviews on the paper are pretty good, though!
"It's a good paper; they took pains to control for many alternative explanations," writes Zeynep Tufecki, a professor at the University of North Carolina who studies technology and research methods.
"This really looks like a causal effect of misinformation [leading] to deaths."
Vox examines the methodology of the study, and it does appear pretty detailed! They got receipts, they got transcripts, and they did a poll of old-ass Fox News viewers to see who decided to stay the fuck home as the coronavirus wave hit, and who decided to just keep playing strip Parcheesi with their fellow olds during Strip Parcheesi Night down at the Cracker Barrel. Then they compared that to who filled their brain with which Fox News snake oil practitioner during the time in question.
And they found:
"Viewers of Hannity changed their behavior five days later than viewers of other shows," they write. "Viewers of Tucker Carlson Tonight changed their behavior three days earlier than viewers of other shows."
The final part of the paper uses two different regression models to show that, in fact, there is good reason to believe that Hannity viewership did increase coronavirus deaths relative to Carlson viewership.
HUH. WOW.
They even found that around the middle of March, when Hannity (sort of) started taking COVID-19 more seriously (for like a minute), the incidence of new corona cases two weeks out (to account for the incubation time of the virus) actually dropped among the target groups and areas studied.
Vox isn't saying Hannity LITERALLY gave all those people the coronavirus, so don't accuse Vox of saying that:
To be clear, this doesn't show that Hannity viewers are necessarily the ones getting sick and dying. It could be that they're asymptomatic carriers, simply spreading the disease to others without suffering themselves. All this regression shows is that higher Hannity viewership in a particular area is correlated with higher coronavirus infection rates and deaths in that area.
See? They might just be gross dumbasses who watch Hannity a lot and happen to be disease vectors getting their sick all over innocent bystanders in the line for extra mashed potatoes during the 4 p.m. dinner hour at the Luby's.
Vox is also not saying that Hannity's words themselves caused all the mayhem, allowing that maybe Hannity's viewers are just stupider than Tucker's. Vox puts it more nicely:
Maybe there's something about people who choose to watch Hannity rather than Carlson that makes them less likely to take social distancing seriously.
Except!
OK, there is so much science in the Vox article and in the paper itself, so read all of it, but these economists also studied whether there might be differences in virus infection rates depending on whether, on any given night, Hannity or Tucker was most likely to just happen to be on the television when people were watching. In other words, they controlled for idiots who don't necessarily care which Fox News idiot is yapping at them, as long as some Fox News idiot is yapping at them. Vox explains that people are most likely to have the TV on "2.5 hours after the sun sets, regardless of what's on the air," so the study's authors looked at differences in corona rates based on what's on Fox in a given area at that prime time — Tucker or Hannity? — and found:
Places where Hannity viewership is randomly higher than Carlson viewership tend to have higher rates of infection and deaths.
Well then.
"Greater exposure to Hannity relative to Tucker Carlson Tonight increased the number of total cases and deaths in the initial stages of the coronavirus pandemic," the authors conclude. "Our findings indicate that provision of misinformation in the early stages of a pandemic can have important consequences for health outcomes."
Huh.
Oh well, sleep well tonight, Sean Hannity, can't imagine why you wouldn't, it's not like you literally killed people's Nanas or anything.
I love seeing Jelisa's name on articles! She's a friend of mine! And I want this puzzle!
The first wave of stimulus checks from the federal government’s coronavirus relief package have started to appear in some Americans' bank accounts and, unsurprisingly, a not-insignificant percentage of that money has already been spent on groceries, gas, utility bills and video games, because eventually Tom Nook comes for all of us.
But if you happen to have an extra $599.95 that you aren't blowing on black market sourdough starter, then Kodak would like you to buy its 51,300 piece jigsaw puzzle. The company says that this is the "world's largest commercially available puzzle," and it will arrive at your doorstep in one 40-pound box that contains 27 individually wrapped bags of anxiety.
"Featuring wonderful, colorful photographs of twenty seven Wonders from around the World, these pictures were taken by professional photographers and then printed using high-performance printing presses," Kodak says of its beautifully packaged reminder that we're all just fragile collections of broken pieces.
This anxiety-inducing product is, in fact, twenty-seven separate 1,900 piece puzzles, which are all photographs of international wonders—The Colosseum! Machu Picchu! The Danish Houses from Instagram!—that none of us can actually visit right now.
Ultimately, the smaller puzzles are supposed to be connected to form the World's Largest Puzzle, assuming that you have a large enough living space, an empty garage, or access to a vacant department store where you can assemble a puzzle that is six feet wide and 28 feet long. "We recommend a floor or table no less than 29 ft wide x 6 ft tall," Kodak helpfully recommends, perhaps failing to understand that 29 feet is twice the height of a highway billboard, that it's the width of the average Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade float, or roughly the length of a six-person human centipede.
"But how long will it take to put this thing together?" you might be asking yourself. "Will it distract me from constantly worrying about societal instability or the effect that this pandemic may have on our national consciousness?" No, of course it won't! But in addition to enduring the crushing weight of fear, you can also spend the next several months trying to decide whether that brilliant blue piece is Brazilian sky or a Santorini rooftop before saying 'Fuck it' and shoving it somewhere in the middle of Barcelona.
One Amazon reviewer wrote that each 1,900 piece section could take between three to five days to complete, and between four and six months to finish the entire puzzle. A second reviewer wrote that he'd finished it in just under five months. But a particularly adept jigsaw assembler known as Andre F. spent 11 months putting a slightly smaller 42,000-piece puzzle together, one that measured 24.6 feet x 5.2 feet. (Andre said that it took two months to separate all the pieces, and another nine to get them all in the right places.)
"What a sense of accomplishment you’ll have knowing that you’ve completed one of the World’s Largest Puzzles for sale," Kodak gushes. Yes, six months from now, you'll have a sense of accomplishment and 168 square feet of jigsaw puzzle to… store somewhere? To live under? To eat? The rest of us will owe Tom Nook one billion bells by then.
When I lived in California, I rented a little "back house" (coach house in Chicago) behind a historic mansion in Anaheim. The apartment/coach house was a studio apartment and was the size of a small one-car garage. It was just fine for me and Snowy and the family who owned and lived in the main house were really sweet. They got a divorce while I was living there and moved out and rented the main house to a young couple with 2 kids.
This couple were Nazis. Actual swastika tattoo Nazis. And while I truly believe they were trying to "reform", they still had Nazi friends who would come over and create all kinds of trouble. The husband ran a tattoo studio out of our shared garage and told me specialized in covering up jailhouse tattoos from guys who recently got out of prison and wanted to erase the racist jail tattoos they got while locked up, but I mean, dude had a Nazi eagle tattoo right on his neck, with the swastika covered up.
At some point they invited another family of 3 to move in with them to help share the rent. The house was a 3 bedroom house and so that meant there were 4 adults and 3 little kids living in this house. This other family were straight-up trash. They had uncovered swastikas on their arms. They were day drinkers and total, just absolutely trash. If the original nazi family that lived there were problematic, this family was 100% pure unfiltered nazi white trash and I hated them, so fucking much. A few true stories from my time living behind them: - The original nazi family had two kids - a little girl named Cassidy (She'd be 16 by now) and a son named Thor (he'd be 14.) These two were never supervised. The backyard was fenced in so they could play back there safely, but again, unsupervised. One night at 9 pm I heard Thor crying outside so I went out of my house into our backyard. Didn't see him but still heard him crying. I found him in a diaper, wandering in the middle of the street in front of our house. I picked him up and rang the doorbell on the main house. Thor's dad answered, totally bewildered, and I was like "he was in the street" and his dad was just like "oh. Yeah he's been escaping lately." BRUH he's 3 - Another time I heard the kids playing outside and Cassidy (then 4 or 5) knocked on my door. I answered and she very quietly told me she'd had "an accident." She'd wet her pants. I looked around for anyone watching her and no one was. So I said, ok let's get you cleaned up. I went inside and the garbage nazi couple were watching TV, backs turned to the outside, completely oblivious. I said "hey Cassidy had an accident" and they were like "oh, bummer" but didn't get up to help. So I just took her upstairs, got her cleaned up and had her change her clothes. She apparently trusted me, her neighbor, more than the family tasked with watching her. - The garbage nazi family were absolute trash, as I have said. Well I guess garbage nazi dad got into a fight with the original quasi-reformed nazi dad and in the middle of the night robbed them of all valuables, stole their car, and tried to flee to Mexico (why a nazi would go to Mexico, I do not understand.) He was apprehended and charged with a zillion crimes. Never saw him again. Garbage nazi mom moved out with her son, whose name I cannot remember but he always had a runny nose. - Eventually the owners of this beautiful historic mansion got their shit together enough to evict the family, who hadn't been paying their rent for months. They trashed the house before they left. Just totally purposefully trashed it. Gouged walls, stole appliances, the whole nine. They never bothered me or my stuff but their kids did break my bike, smashed a framed picture I had stored in the garage bc it was too big to hang in my apartment, and drank all my emergency water from my earthquake kit. Small price to pay compared to what they did to that poor house.
Much like your biological family and your co-workers, you can’t really pick your neighbors. Depending on where you live and how frequently you or the people around you move, you might have lived a life full of nosey or noisy neighbors—and there are few things more irritating than not being able to find comfort at…
What we need right now is culture and entertainment that dares to interrogate life’s most pressing questions. Why are we here? What’s the point of it all? Is this how we live now? And most importantly: What would happen to a bunch of hot people if they weren’t allowed to fuck each other, and someone filmed it?
Too Hot to Handle, Netflix's new reality format—which takes the time-honored tradition of throwing people deemed "better looking than the rest of you lowlifes" into a beachside property, and then making them live by particular conditions—answers this question. In the real world, hot people can essentially receive every bit of instant gratification they desire at any moment; in identifying this, placing an arbitrary obstacle in the way of that gratification (no sex or you lose prize money), and observing the chaos that ensues as a result (touching tongues and sitting on each other a lot), the "streaming giant" has created both the Platonic ideal of reality dating shows, and a remarkably prescient artifact for the lockdown age.
With an international cast, Too Hot To Handle differs from its closest relative—Love Island—by placing sex front and center rather than sidelining it. It’s possible that people will say that this show wreaks war on yet another layer of public decency, to which the contestants’ behavior simply responds: “Come friendly bombs, rain down as I grind the crotch area of a one man Pitcher and Piano into the finest powder with my perfectly firm ass.” As such, it is perfect, gently controversial television—here is an excruciatingly detailed explanation of exactly why:
It Respects Its Heritage
Too Hot to Handle is so good because it does not attempt to reinvent the wheel of the "beach location dating show" genre, but rather it takes the best bits from other previous wheels in order to make a very powerful monster truck wheel. From Love Island, there is non-contact messaging from the producers (via a speaking cone which behaves in almost every way like a high end sex toy, down to Joanna Lumley-doing-the-satnav-instructions-esque vocalization), a loud, poppy aesthetic, a dressing room, and a cash prize. From MTV’s much underrated Ex On the Beach there’s a) actual proper rows, and b) that thing where new contestants emerge from out of the sea like really virile jellyfish. From both of these shows, you may recognize the extremely strict Four Visible Abs minimum for all cast members, "witty" narration, a beachy location, enforced swimwear, and a romantic premise, all topped off by the pièce de résistance, Too Hot to Handle’s own stupid "concept": “What if hot people but no fucky?”
Loose (I.E. Fake) "Social Experiment" Premise
When you spend more than 30 seconds thinking about it this show shouldn’t work. Without looking it up we have no idea where it’s set, at no point do we know how long they’ve actually been there (realistically the whole thing could’ve been filmed in 48 hours) and we’re expected to believe that a group of people whose only shared trait is "being horny" were lured to a resort with the promise of a free “retreat” where they just… hang out, doing nothing in particular, for Netflix. And do you know what? None of that matters.
Since the bottom fell out of Love Island and most contestants stopped even pretending to buy into its premise as a show about "finding love" and not "reaching one million Instagram followers," we’ve been lacking a reality dating show with a universal concept. Too Hot to Handle is that show. Contestants may still play up to the format and use the phrase "genuine connection" like they’re being sponsored to do so, but "see that hottie? Don’t touch them" is fundamentally way more believable as a driving force than "pick one of these hotties to fall in actual love with for 50 grand." Ostensibly the real point of the show is to encourage shallow twenty-somethings to create "deeper connections" by "showing restraint," but that’s just for moral posterity and additional sexual tension.
The thing is, not everyone has had a whirlwind heterosexual romance in the space of a few weeks, but most of us have been told we can’t have someone. At the very least, everyone can sympathize with the plight of watching hot people parade around all day with their asses out while being forbidden to act on impulse because that’s the entire viewer/program dynamic. I was so wrapped up in the shenanigans it didn’t even occur to me until 20 minutes into the finale that I had no idea how anyone actually wins, how many people were supposed to win, or what the point of the show was—and I don’t think anyone involved in the show did either.
Innuendo Is Out
The thing I respect most about Too Hot to Handle is that the contestants make no bones about wanting to bone, vigorously and often. Netflix has the benefit of not having to observe the rules of respectability that normal television is bound to (like, if this aired on ITV2 you can guarantee it would be topic of a week’s worth of Twitter discourse about choice feminism, and grounds for a debate on This Morning where Eamonn Holmes makes a comment for which he is later forced to apologize by Ofcom), and it flouts them admirably. Everyone involved loves sex and discusses it openly; Sharron mentions that he once took a photo of his penis next to a can of air freshener for scale in his intro VT.
When you compare this to the relative primness of Love Island, which makes 25-year-olds participate in a prom-cum-promise-ring-ceremony to mark the end of the experience, and where people talk about sex in code (in the most recent season, hand stuff was referred to as "avocado" for reasons I can’t and won’t remember), there’s not much competition as to what is more entertaining.
Effective "Tasks"
Too Hot to Handle has really grabbed the experience economy by the balls, inviting a shibari artist, whatever the title is for a woman who invites you to look at and then draw a portrait of your vagina and a “heart warrior” to the resort to indulge the "personal growth" aspect of the show. As much as they’re only introduced for a bit of structure and something to do, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t genuinely moved by how deeply some of the guys were affected by them. Show me a greater representation of wholesome masculinity than big beefy boner boys smothering each other in mud, looking deep in each other’s eyes and crying as they explain how stubbornness gets in the way of them being happy.
International and Therefore More of an Event
Arguably the show’s greatest act of brilliance is throwing English, Irish, Australian, Canadian and American people—five of the loudest and most shameless nationalities in the world—together, knowing full well the cultural differences in terms of humor and sensibility will both contribute to misunderstandings and fan the flames of desire. Essentially what they’ve done here is throw a traffic light party where everyone comes as "green" and has no possible connection to anyone else in the room, creating the ultimate environment for a one night stand.
With the exception of Rhonda and Sharron, who have managed to establish something real and pure within this rotten little experiment, the prospect of a "future" is largely off the table, forcing everyone to operate on the basis of lust and fantasy. Unfortunately for Francesca, demanding your Too Hot To Handle fling move to Vancouver for you is like trying to organize a second date with a holiday rep you pulled at a foam party in Costa Brava.
All Important Agent of Chaos
Every reality dating show needs an agent of chaos: an individual whose intentions are never quite clear, but whose whims provide the gravitational force of the entire group. Like Megan Barton-Hanson, Maura Higgins and Jessica Batten before her, Francesca Farago is the defining character of this villa. Hot, horny and personally responsible for losing $20,000 of prize money, Francesca is a sexual assassin with Instagram face. A winner with no self-control gets what she wants, whether it’s lip fillers, a partnership with a global fashion brand or a 6’5 Australian who looks like a sixth form campus NOS dealer.
At this juncture, it’s important to remember that chaos lays dormant. These women are sleeper agents, waiting for a catalyst to activate their full potential, which usually takes the form of being wronged by a Stupid Boy. For Maura it was Tom’s “let’s see if she’s all mouth” comment, for example, and for Francesca it was enormous Harry blaming their transgression (a kiss) on her and causing a rift within the group. This prompts a revenge rampage that involves kissing Haley to teach everyone a lesson that cost three grand but was never actually learned, pivoting her attention to Kelz who was simply more interested in the money, going on a date with Kori because her lawless “instincts” told her to, and eventually setting her sights back on Harry who she then spends the rest of the show tormenting in the bath. An icon whose time on the show began with a kiss and ended with accidentally popping a boob, Francesca—a self-described “promiscuous little hothead”—has entered the elite tier of Reality TV Chaos Agents with significantly less screen time. Welcome, my queen.
Extremely Good British Contingent
When it comes to the British contestants, it’s hard not to imagine how they’d fare on Love Island. David, for example, would be one of those lads sent in at the start of Week 6 to pair up with a viewers’ favorite who has been wronged by an OG boy, only she doesn’t fancy him that much, and they slither on their bellies to a lackluster fourth place. The other two UK-based members of the original cast (Chloe and Kelz), however, are essentially like turbo Islanders, with the same ~just like me and my mates x~ appeal as the Love Island contestants (Chloe, for example, has good "friend who would help you fix your hair under the hand dryer after you were unfortunately sick in it in the toilet of a super club called Vision" vibes), just more barefacedly horny and entertaining. Their inclusion is important because it bridges the gap between Love Island—from which THTH takes many cues—and this brave new world, where people suck each others’ fingers more than once an episode. They are adventurers on an unknown frontier, like those people who queue up to be the first to get into a new Tesco Extra on the opening day. They have done the nation proud.
Men Called Not Real Names Like "Bryce"
The virgin influencers with Christian names vs the chad "Rob Schneider look-alike who plays the keyboard and lives on a boat for no reason other than it’s a good pickup line."
Sonic Cone Robot Named After Lana Del Rey
Like the Love Island texting function, Too Hot to Handle too has its own way of contacting the contestants indirectly: via a talking, Alexa-style in-home robot that resembles a vaginal dilator and talks like I imagine the teacher in Busted’s “What I Go to School For” to sound.
Lana is there to keep the contestants in line by announcing violations of the NO TOUCHING regulations, telling them about new developments in the show’s “plot” (lol), and occasionally being a little grass, ratting out the rule breakers if the cast guesses who they are correctly. For a necessary, narrative-driving device, Lana is as good as any, and unfortunately a bit better than the narration, which suffers slightly for the upsetting reason of “needing to be funny to Americans.” Nothing’s perfect, I suppose.
Anyone who knows anything about Vine knows exactly what Cambage is referencing
Semifinals beef from 2019 lives on.
The WNBA season is on hold, but the beef is not. On Sunday, Natasha Cloud dished at Liz Cambage on Twitter, and from halfway around the world, Cambage came swinging back.
Over the weekend, the Mystics’ heated semifinals win over the Las Vegas Aces from last season was re-aired, and the team passed its Twitter keys to point guard Cloud to commentate. One of her tweets led to an argument with Cambage about physicality, using metaphors including milk and prosecco.
What happened? Let’s just jump into it.
First, Cloud posted a video of Cambage fouling Mystics center LaToya Sanders
The refs whistled Cambage for pushing Sanders in the back, and Cloud took a video chanting “You can’t do that.”
Cambage said Sanders needed some milk
Cambage is the queen of shit talk. We’ve known this. She loves to tell people how much stronger she is than them. She did this to ignite the playoff series last year, when she told the Mystics to “get in the weight room or get out of the post” after a Game 3 win.
So Cambage went at the Mystics, and Sanders specifically, on Sunday, saying “she needs some milk.”
I am floored by this entire back-and-forth partaking on a random quarantine Sunday, but thank you to all parties for providing entertainment.
I’m all the way on the other side of the world minding my own business, and y’all still can’t stop talking about me. I really be living rent free in all of y’alls heads
A large traffic jam left drivers waiting at the State Farmer’s Market in Raleigh on Thursday, caused by a massive chicken sale from the back of a truck. Cars backed … Click to Continue »
Saturday Night Live aired for the first time on Saturday since their last live episode March 7th, which featured host Daniel Craig, and, well, it did not disappoint. SNL At Home, as the episode was aptly titled, featured a bevy of socially distancing guests including Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump, Larry David as Bernie…
I really fucking hate Trumps approach to all of this. "maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, who knows?" I DON"T KNOW, THE MEDICAL EXPERTS? THEY KNOW???
Editor’s Note:The Atlantic is making vital coverage of the coronavirus available to all readers. Find the collection here.
Two weeks ago, French doctors published a provocative observation in a microbiology journal. In the absence of a known treatment for COVID-19, the doctors had taken to experimentation with a potent drug known as hydroxychloroquine. For decades, the drug has been used to treat malaria—which is caused by a parasite, not a virus. In six patients with COVID-19, the doctors combined hydroxychloroquine with azithromycin (known to many as “Z-Pak,” an antibiotic that kills bacteria, not viruses) and reported that after six days of this regimen, all six people tested negative for the virus.
The report caught the eye of the celebrity doctor Mehmet Oz, who has since appeared on Fox News to talk about hydroxychloroquine 21 times. As Oz put it to Sean Hannity, “This French doctor, [Didier] Raoult, a very famous infectious-disease specialist, had done some interesting work at a pilot study showing that he could get rid of the virus in six days in 100 percent of the patients he treated.” Raoult has made news in recent years as a pan-disciplinary provocateur; he has questioned climate change and Darwinian evolution. On January 21, at the height of the coronavirus outbreak in China, Raoult said in a YouTube video, “The fact that people have died of coronavirus in China, you know, I don’t feel very concerned.” Last week, Oz, who has been advising the president on the coronavirus, described Raoult to Hannity as “very impressive.” Oz told Hannity that he had informed the White House as much.
Anthony Fauci is not among the impressed. The day the study came out, Fauci, the leading infectious-disease expert advising the White House’s coronavirus task force, downplayed the findings as “anecdotal.” The report was not a randomized clinical trial—one in which many people are followed to see how their health fares, not simply whether a virus is detectable. And Oz’s “100 percent” interpretation involves conspicuous omissions. According to the study itself, three other patients who received hydroxychloroquine were too sick to be tested for the virus by day six (they were intubated in the ICU). Another had a bad reaction to the drug and stopped taking it. Another was not tested because, by day six, he had died.
Nonetheless, the day after Raoult’s study was published, Donald Trump tweeted about it: “HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE & AZITHROMYCIN, taken together, have a real chance to be one of the biggest game changers in the history of medicine.” In the days since, Trump has repeatedly returned to this claim. On Saturday, he said that the term game changer wouldn’t even adequately describe the drug: “It will be wonderful. It will be so beautiful. It will be a gift from heaven, if it works.” After downplaying the value of ventilators and social distancing, measures that experts overwhelmingly agree are needed to overcome the virus, Trump said the country would procure 29 million doses of hydroxychloroquine for a national stockpile. He said he may start taking the drug himself.
Over the course of these two weeks, the president of the United States has become the world’s most prominent peddler of medical misinformation. While some very early evidence has shown that hydroxychloroquine may influence the course of COVID-19, Trump is overriding his top medical adviser and minimizing serious risks by encouraging Americans to try the drug right now. This brazen dispensation of medical advice from the president is dangerous in ways beyond the potential harm of the drug itself. A time of strict directives for personal behavior and hygiene requires tremendous trust in those giving the directives—and understanding the reality that this is a disease without a miracle cure. But instead of inspiring trust, Trump has pivoted from downplaying the number of cases in the United States to the extremely effective trick of quack medical providers: hyping an unproven treatment that entices desperate people with false confidence and confusing messaging.
It is unclear how hydroxychloroquine would work to treat COVID-19, but the drug is one of many now being urgently studied for the treatment of the disease. The drugs being tested include those that could block viral replication, such as remdesivir, and others that may target the way the virus binds to human cells. Still other drugs aim to modulate a person’s immune response, among them a class of drugs known as IL-6 inhibitors. Hydroxychloroquine has the theoretical potential to affect the virus itself or the immune response. In addition to treating malaria, hydroxychloroquine is important in the treatment of autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. In those specific conditions, the drug effectively serves to subdue an overactive immune response.
Slowing the immune system too far, though, could make people more susceptible to infection. Other drugs that suppress inflammation—steroids and ibuprofen—initially generated some enthusiasm as methods of controlling the immune response in COVID-19. They have since shown mixed results and are not widely recommended. Even in people without the disease, hydroxychloroquine’s potentially harmful effects range from vomiting and headaches to instances of psychosis, loss of vision, and even sudden cardiac death. The drug is to be used with caution in people with heart conditions and liver dysfunction—both of which the coronavirus can itself cause.
Based on the limited evidence so far, giving hydroxychloroquine to people could very well be—as with most drugs that modulate the immune system—of some benefit in some circumstances. Some people will be made sicker by it, depending on underlying physiology, other medications they’re taking, timing, and dosing. Identifying who stands to benefit and why requires data, and several randomized controlled studies of hydroxychloroquine are under way.
But Trump has plunged ahead. On March 28, amid his constant enthusiasm, the FDA issued an emergency authorization allowing the use of hydroxychloroquine for treatment of COVID-19. Even still, the agency urged that the drug should be given only to patients “for whom a clinical trial is not available, or participation is not feasible.”
Some hospitals in the U.S., including Massachusetts General Hospital, have begun incorporating hydroxychloroquine into treatment protocols, at the discretion of an infectious-disease specialist. Other institutions are more guarded. At the University of Washington, doctors are advised in official treatment policy that although the drug has been shown to inhibit replication of the virus in cultures of monkey kidney cells, “it has not been shown to be an effective antiviral” in living organisms. The University of Michigan Medical School advises its doctors that “the current body of literature and local experience does not support the routine use of any specific treatment regimen, including hydroxychloroquine, for patients with confirmed COVID-19 infection.”
Conclusions like these draw on the fact that the body of evidence remains small, and the results are mixed. A randomized trial of 30 patients with COVID-19 in Shanghai found no difference in detectable virus at day seven, with or without hydroxychloroquine. Another recent study suggested that the drug may help with COVID-19 symptoms, including coughing and fever, but it included only 62 people with mild cases of the disease, and excluded anyone with conditions that could be exacerbated by hydroxychloroquine. In mid-March, Italian and Israeli researchers concluded that there were sufficient grounds to continue doing research with the drug, but that any use should be closely monitored. The scientists advised against widely unleashing yet another medical variable during the pandemic.
In the U.S., Fauci continues to hold the same line as the rest of the medical community—cautious optimism, with a close eye on the many ongoing clinical trials. Trump, meanwhile, escalates as a peddler. “What do you have to lose?” the president said in a press conference on Saturday. “I’ll say it again: What do you have to lose? Take it. I really think they should take it. But it’s their choice. And it’s their doctor’s choice, or the doctors in the hospital.” At a briefing yesterday, he intercepted a question for Fauci about hydroxychloroquine and told the reporter that the doctor wouldn’t be answering it.
What do you have to lose? is a dark sentiment from a president managing a crisis that his administration failed to prepare for: It failed to develop testing, failed to communicate, and failed to have enough face masks for doctors. There is, in fact, much to lose. Americans also need hydroxychloroquine to treat serious immune conditions and parasitic diseases. Since Trump began promoting the drug, people have been hoarding it, and it has been added to the growing list of drug shortages. Two weeks ago, in an attempt to procure some, an Arizona couple ingested chloroquine, which is meant to be used in fish tanks. The man died.
In such moments, the appeal of any treatment that could offer a glimmer of hope is understandable. But even if hydroxychloroquine eventually proves to be safe and useful to some people with the disease, touting it constantly distracts from the immediate needs of the crisis. Now is not a time to abandon the tried and true systems that keep people safe and create order. It’s a time to double down on the systems developed over decades to help us find the best treatments for diseases, and make sure that they are safe and effective. What do you have to lose? follows the logic of removing stop signs because they might slow people trying to get to the hospital.
In his capricious responses to this pandemic, Trump has given little indication that he respects, or even comprehends, the reasons for the scientific process. Hydroxychloroquine could end up as part of the treatment approach that one day saves lives. Outside of a proper testing process and clear messaging, it could cost lives. Addressing a world in a collective state of despair, Trump offers exaggerated hope and endangers people as he rambles.
On Saturday, Trump suggested research exists that shows people with lupus don’t get the coronavirus, implying that their use of hydroxychloroquine protects them. “There’s a rumor out there that because it takes care of lupus very effectively, as I understand it, and it’s a, you know, a drug that’s used for lupus,” he said, “so there’s a study out there that says people that have lupus haven’t been catching this virus. Maybe it’s true; maybe it’s not.”
There is no such study.
Related Podcast
Listen to Dr. James Hamblin answer questions about coronavirus on The Atlantic’s new daily-ish podcast, Social Distance.
One side effect of the COVID-19 pandemic has been an exacerbation of practically every conspiracy theory in existence. People who believe in QAnon, Lizard People, New World Order bullshit, aliens, anti-vaxx crap, etc., have all imagineered ways in which the pandemic is a part of whatever their pet theory is. Even some people who may not have bought into these things previously are starting to look to them to explain what's going on, because they do, frankly, provide far more satisfying answers than reality does. This whole thing is less scary, on some level, if it's just a cover-up for something else, if people aren't actually dying, if they aren't actually risking their lives every time they go to the grocery store.
In recent weeks, previously minor conspiracies about 5G technology have gained a major foothold, leading to people in the UK actually going around setting fire to 5G cell towers. The theories are now spreading about as fast as the coronavirus itself, so we thought it would be prudent to do an explainer on what people actually believe and where it's all coming from.
What Even Is 5G?
5G is the fifth generation of mobile networking. It's supposed to be faster and more reliable than 4G, which is what most of us have now. Most major cell carriers in the US have it already, and it's been available in several major cities since 2019. It's expected to roll out across the world within the year. There is literally no concrete evidence that it is unsafe.
What Was The 5G Conspiracy About Before COVID-19?
The conspiracies surrounding 5G are actually related to larger and more established conspiracies about radiation in general, and HAARP in particular. HAARP stands for High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, and its purpose was to "analyze basic ionospheric properties and to assess the potential for developing ionospheric enhancement technology for communications and surveillance purposes." Conspiracy theorists believe that it's being used to develop mind control technology, change the weather, and do other nefarious things. It's a very big thing among the chemtrail people, as you might imagine.
According to these conspiracy theorists, HAARP emits "scalar waves" which are used to brainwash us all through our digital televisions — and now they claim that 5G towers (which might just be HAARP towers in disguise!) are doing the same thing. Basically they think that 5G is going to be used to brainwash us and spy on us. They also think that it's going to cause approximately 85,000 extremely specific health problems.
But it wasn't just the chemtrail/HAARP people who were worried about 5G. In fact, various theories about the technology have found their way into a variety of larger umbrella conspiracy theories.
There are the conspiracy theorists who believed (and still believe) that it will be used to give people the mark of the beast and that they won't be able to buy or sell anything unless they have a 5G microchip implanted in them.
David Icke, who quite notably believes that all of the powerful people in the world are secretly lizards, also had some theories about 5G.
"It Will Be Bigger Than Chernobyl Disaster" | David Icke on 5G Technology
www.youtube.com
In May of last year, Icke predicted that because our bodies are "antennas," 5G will cause us to feel like we are on fire all of the time. It will also, supposedly, be used to change all of our "emotional frequencies" to manipulate us in various ways. For reasons. So basically, you know, mind control. And the lizards are definitely behind it.
Some of those who believe in aliens are slightly less worried, as they believe that there are Pleiadian healing methods that can protect people from the effects of 5G. However, several people who claim they are in regular contact with the Pleiadians are saying that said Pleiadians are sending them warnings about the technology.
And How, Exactly, Does This Relate To COVID-19?
There are two theories operating simultaneously here. The first theory is that people aren't getting sick because they are contracting COVID-19, but rather because 5G towers are making them sick. Essentially, world governments had to invent a fake sickness in order to prevent people from realizing that it was 5G technology that was making them sick. This theory is bolstered by the fact that the virus started in Wuhan, China, which implemented 5G last year.
The other, far more complicated theory is that COVID-19 is not real, no one is really getting sick, and that it is basically a false flag meant to keep us all in our houses while the government erects 5G towers everywhere. Then, once that is done, we will all get a "vaccine" funded by Bill Gates, and that vaccine will have a chip in it that serves as a tracking device, watching where we go and where we spend our money. The chip, I guess, will rely on 5G technology to work. This theory is bolstered by the fact that Gates is funding vaccine development and the fact that on March 23, Donald Trump signed the "Secure 5G and Beyond Act of 2020" into law.
A Facebook post claiming that COVID-19 was a distraction for this law went viral. It read:
5G LAW PASSED while everyone was distracted... - S.893 SECURE 5G AND BEYOND ACT OF 2020 -Signed into law 116-129 on 3-23-2020, that will speed up the installation of 5G and protect profits!
Children had to be out of schools for the covert installation. Parents are you seeing what's happening?
5G is 10,000 times the strength of 4G and uses the same frequency as a military weapon. Ripping DNA structures of living organisms.
It then listed the 35,000 health problems supposedly caused by 5G.
Now, I hate to rain on this conspiracy parade, but it seems like pretty much everyone who believes this crazy shit about 5G was very much aware that this was signed into law, and that everyone else wouldn't really need a pandemic to not pay much attention to it. Given all of the horrifying things Trump does on the regular, signing this law into effect doesn't even register.
The Celebrities Spreading It
Unlike most other wild conspiracies floating around these days, the 5G bullshit has a fairly bipartisan following. There are adherents on both the Left and the Right and they are both spreading it with equal fervor. It has also been spread by several celebrities and otherwise prominent folks. In fact, a whole lot of this originated with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who has apparently taken a break from funding all of the anti-vaxx ads on Facebook to worry about Bill Gates taking over the world with 5G technology.
This video shows why Big Telecom loves #coronavirus. The quarantine has facilitated the unobstructed #5G rollout and has effectively ended the opportunity for mass public protests which were our best hope for derailing the 5G robber barons from microwaving our country and destroying nature. The Telecom Titans now have an open road, willing politicians and a compliant population sufficiently frightened, beleaguered, broke and submissive to relinquish their constitutional freedoms and welcome the surveillance state. 5G has little to do with improving service to individuals. It has everything to do with #BigTech data mining, surveillance and social control. If we don't stop them, they will engineer a massive transfer of wealth and sovereignty away from our citizens into the hands of Big Telecom, Big Tech (Microsoft, Facebook, Google) #BigPharma, the military/intelligence apparatus and the ruling plutocrats. Chief among these is Bill Gates with his sinister anti-American tracking system (ID2020), his suspiciously coincidental October 2019 Coronavirus War Game simulations (Gates passed out adorable coronavirus themed stuffed animals to all the high level participants), his pandemic documentary on #Netflix, his autocratic control of Anthony Fauci and the WHO (for which he is the top funder), his coronavirus #vaccine patents and his barely disguised — let's be honest — giddy-delight at the quarantine that is impoverishing his countrymen and crushing their will to resist his tyrannical "reforms." Gates wants us to cede all power to his "benevolent" dictatorship —including power over our bodies, our health and our children. Gates is the nerdy kid with the magnifying glass. The rest of us are ants getting torched in his global science experiment.
Please support our lawsuit against FCC to stop 5G. Children's health defense.org
Somehow it seems doubtful that there would have been any "mass public protests" given that up until now, the 5G woo was pretty fringe.
Woody Harrelson shared an article by retired professor Martin Pall (who also promotes a number of other fringe theories, such as one about how Wi-Fi is going to kill us all) about the relation between coronavirus and 5G, though he did note that he hadn't "fully vetted it."
"Paper Planes" singer M.I.A. also suggested that 5G was making it harder for people to heal, which is not backed up by science at all.
Monique Samuels of "Real Housewives of the Potomac" posted a real "do your own research" tweet claiming that people were being quarantined in order to put up 5G towers that will kill our DNA and give us the mark of the beast. Previously, Samuels claimed to have cured her son's sinus infection with essential oils.
Right now, things feel really out of control and people are scared. They are also incredibly bored, and all of that put together makes for an extremely fertile environment for wacky conspiracy theories like this to thrive and spread. Especially ones that are rather exhausting to refute. If you find yourself in the unlucky position of having to talk someone down from this bullshit, the UK-based fact-checking site Full Fact has a rather extensive library of articles debunking the various theories. Good luck!
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For weeks now, the universal recommendation to slow the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic has been to stay away from other people and shelter in place unless absolutely necessary. Many people are unable to follow that recommendation, as they either have to keep working, don’t have access to stable housing, or some other factor beyond their control. But for everyone else, the rules are clear: Stay home! Don’t see people! Just accept that this sucks, and wait it out!
Apparently, Jay Jideliov didn’t get the memo. In defiance of all recommended social distancing measures, Jideliov, the CEO and founder of New York-based communications company Callision, has decided to open up a luxury retreat called Harbor where as many as 33 guests can spend the next two months practicing yoga, doing breathwork, and partying together, “no masks required.”
The retreat, held at an undisclosed luxury villa in Southern California, is advertised as “virus free,” screening guests for COVID-19 before admittance. Will they keep guests separated for two weeks upon arrival to make sure no asymptomatic carriers end up spreading the virus to everyone else in the relatively closed-off space, just as has happened at nursing homes and prisons? Unclear! Anyway, the shared rooms start at $3,000 a month, according to Boing Boing. Seems like an awful lot of money to spend on putting yourself at risk anew to catch the virus, but whatever, girl! Do you!
Jideliov’s hubristic attempt to capitalize on the crisis, not to mention his wanton disregard for the health of those around him, is just the latest example of how wealthy property owners, and those with the means to play host to others’ jet-setting fantasies, are trying to go about the pandemic as if it’s business as usual. Just last month, Airbnb owners began advertising their rooms as “COVID-19 free” getaways where vacationers could hide away at a “coronavirus-free retreat” with all the toilet paper they could ever need.
These moves contribute to an abiding and deeply incorrect sense that relocating away from populous areas is an equally safe, or even superior move, even as every medical professional and authority in the world has tried to tell everyone to stay put and stop moving around. The wealthy seem to be the most amenable to this flawed logic, fleeing to the second homes in poorer, rural parts of the country more vulnerable to the pandemic’s economic fallout.
Not only is this all fundamentally irresponsible, but this response to the pandemic is reflective of just how out of touch the wealthy are to what else is going on in the world. By dropping thousands of dollars on last-minute getaways, they’re risking the further spread of the virus, not to mention infection themselves. It’s not that they can’t buy their way out of the pandemic. They can, actually! As recent news coverage has shown, the wealthy have been able to secure better access to testing, not to mention the fact that they are better equipped to shelter in place for as long as they need. If they were only paying attention, they would see that stocking up and staying put in their luxury homes-turned-apocalypse bunkers would be the best place for them to stay, if only they lived in the same reality.
Oh no :( I feel like these are just going to be every day news stories now
As reported by Stereogum, acclaimed jazz musician Ellis Marsalis Jr.—the patriarch of a musical family that includes fellow jazz legends Branford and Wynton Marsalis—has died from complications of the coronavirus. This news was first confirmed by New Orleans mayor LaToya Cantrell, who referred to Marsalis as “the…
Adam Schlesinger, the award-winning songwriter, producer, and co-founder of the rock band Fountains Of Wayne, has died of complications from coronavirus. Variety has confirmed the performer’s death. Schlesinger was also the co-founder of bands Ivy and Tinted Windows, as well as a contributing producer for…
A gender reveal party mixed with explosives sparked a 10-acre fire in Florida. It happened Saturday in Brevard County, WESH-TV reported. The county has prohibited open burning because of an … Click to Continue »
Well, no one could see this coming: Liberty University, which reopened after its spring break this month despite a raging global pandemic, is now full of sick students.
Floyd Cardoz, beloved chef and season three winner of Top Chef Masters, has died at the age of 59. On March 18, Cardoz was admitted to a New York hospital with a fever; he tested posted for the coronavirus shortly after. The Mumbai-raised chef, who helped reinvigorate the Indian food scene in New York with the…
HOW is he constantly such a good human. I mean it really shouldn't be that hard for everybody to be as good as he is right?
Today, in celebrity activism that might—just possibly—do more public good than singing an old John Lennon song into your iPhone, fashion designer and former Project Runway winner/current Project Runway mentor Christian Siriano has announced that he’ll soon be helping the New York state government in the manufacturing…
Trixie Mattel back to back with Carla was content I did not know I needed but now will rewatch whenever I need joy
I think that we can all agree that this week has been, to put it as mildly as possible, absolutely fucking rough. To top it all off, instead of watching Charlie’s Angels last night, my friends decided we should watch The Talented Mr. Ripley during our digital watch party, and I still haven’t recovered. Sure, shame on…
Let's have a positivity pissing contest. What's the most generous thing a stranger ever did for YOU?
My answer below, cw: suicide mention; discussions of death
First thing that comes to my mind: In 2007, my brother died by suicide. I had to fly from California to NJ for his funeral, which is just an incredibly long time to be in an airplane when you are grieving as intensely as I was. My friends gave me Ambien which I popped as soon as I got in line to board the plane to help me zonk out for the flight, which I did until about the last hour. I got up to use the bathroom, and I walked to the back of the plane. After finishing up in the lav I was extremely thirsty so I poked my head into the flight attendants galley and quietly asked for a cup of water. The flight attendant must have seen how distraught I looked (I had found out about his death less than 24 hours ago at this point) and asked me if I was OK. I was not OK and I just broke down crying. The flight attendant let me sit next to her in the jump seat and just held me in her arms, and let me cry. The other flight attendant rubbed my back and they just held me like a child and I will never forget how kind, sweet, and comforting they were. They let me stay with them until they absolutely had to have me go back to my seat, at which point I was able to pull myself together and go sit down. It was an act of kindness more than financial generosity, but one that I will never forget.
Giventhecurrentstateoftheworld, it’s easy to feel like there isn’t much to celebrate. But there isn’t nothing: in times of hardship, good people tend to show up for one another. After a few Jezebel commenters requested a positive Pissing Contest to close out a week that was somehow more challenging than the…
Anyone who wasn’t filthy rich had a laugh at Gal Gadot and friends’ tone-deaf “Imagine” singalong last week, but, just as its deluge of parodies began drying up, another has emerged that actually does speak to the self-isolating millennials among us. Eric Slick, a singer and songwriter who also plays in Dr. Dog, put…
For nearly a decade, Kofie Yeboah had been haunted by a final level he could never defeat. This week, he decided it was finally time to beat it once and for all.
“Kofie, are you here today to talk about a cycling game that released in 2011? It’s 2020, get over it.” NO, I will not get over it. I’m petty and I’ve gotten so close to beating the game multiple times. YOU WILL HEAR ME OUT.
Cyclomaniacs 2 is a unique game. For eight years, I’ve played this game on and off. For eight years, I’ve tried to pronounce victory. The main difference between this game and others is simple.
I’ve never heard anyone ever mention this game in my life. Not my friends, not my family. Just me.
I never turned to my high school homies and went, “Y’all hear about this game Cyclomaniacs 2?” because I wanted to fit in and everyone was playing Farmville or 8Ball pool on Miniclip.com (I was nice at that shit too, don’t sleep). I would play Cyclomaniacs 2 during classes in college, but no one would tap me on the shoulder and go “Yo, what game is that?” because a good ECON201 extra credit mattered more to them or whatever. I couldn’t ask my friends for tips on how to beat the Coaster Zone level, or which biker is the best at front wheelies over lava.
Answer: Not this penguin.
Because no one would know what the fuck I’m talking about. If you ask me to name all 50 bikers, I couldn’t do it, but I could list enough to make you think I can and then end the conversation.
I feel like everyone has that one game that’s sacred to them, but unknown to rest of the world. I probably have many more in the memory vault that y’all have never heard of, but that’s what makes it special. This is an experience that’s singular to me. Since I’ve started this game in 2011 I’ve been through high school, college, and, most importantly, four computers. Every time I started the game on a new computer, I’d have to start the game over from the very beginning. So now, it’s that time of the year again. It’s time to give this another shot.
Alright well, before I rant about this, let me explain how good and fun this game actually is.
Cyclomaniacs 1
Happened. We’re not here to talk about that.
Cyclomaniacs 2
This is a bike racing game with numerous levels to play in a challenge to beat the game.
Through completing certain challenges you can unlock new bikers and new levels.
The interesting part about these bikers is that no two characters ride exactly the same. For example, the Cyclo King has an easy time performing wheelies, but is harder to control.
While Captain Star Spangle (yup, real name) is great at control, he has trouble flipping, doing tricks and getting big air.
Basically all the fun shit.
Now each map has at least one race, while other areas might have biker specific challenges that you need to use to unlock other bikers and courses.
Also, after each course, you collect money which you can use to upgrade all your bikers capabilities. This will be important.
GAMEPLAY
This game has pretty simple controls.
So without further ado, it’s time to talk about the last level. Wait, I have to play the game over again. One sec.
Six hours later
Oh man, I forgot how time consuming this game really is. When I started writing this I only remember the last level being difficult, but man oh man there are some other tough levels in this shit as well. I’ve unlocked 28 of the 50 bikers.
It seems that I’m not there yet, but I have unlocked the best biker in the game. Miss Ellie Fant.
Oh, did I mention that some of the maps aren’t that simple? This one is UPSIDE DOWN.
Three hours later
I’ve made it back.
The final level. I have to use the Cyclo King to beat the game. Now, the walkthrough usually has tips and tricks for all of the maps.
However, nothing comes up for the final level. I’m on my own. Thankfully, unlike other games I’m able to just hit the ‘R’ key mid race to start over so we can hurry these tries up.
Through 10 tries
Ah, yes, it’s coming back to me now. The reason why I never beat this level had nothing to do with the course, it’s the biker. This knockoff Elvis. The nerve of this guy.
Track after track, bump after bump. WHO DESIGNS A BICYCLE LIKE THIS? WHOEVER SAID AERODYNAMIC QUIFF WAS LYING!
Through 15 tries
Please help.
Through 25 play throughs
FUCK.
I’ve already lost count.
Hope is dwindling. My fingers on my right hand are sick of trying to steer this piece of shit cart on this hellscape of a track.
I’ve played through this track so much that I’m starting to notice things. Like how the AI has the same times every time. Now that’s true for every level, but on this one it’s more noticeable because I’ve played it so many times. Fake Elvis gets to a big lead, robot comes back, then the NINJA COMES FROM OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE EVERY TIME.
See here? The ninja isn’t on screen. He’s not even close to first place!
Right? Right. Now watch this.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. LIKE HOW? IS THIS SOME TYPE OF SICK JOKE?!
Side note.
Captain’s Log: Time Unknown
I have almost lost hope. I tried to do this on my own, but it seems like I don’t have the answers. There is only one thing left to do. Look up a walkthrough on Youtube to see if this is even possible. Turns out ... it is.
This guy finished with a time of 1:07.80.
My times have been all over the place. Here are some examples.
1:09.50 - 2nd place
1:08.90 - 2nd place
1:09.20 - 4th place
1:11.80 - 4th place
So I obviously need to get the time down ... but how? The walkthrough didn’t really help because the description says ...
tipps: just repeat the level a few times, you get better with practice. It also depends on luck if you become 1st or not. In this run I became 1st with a time of 1:07:80. But on another run, I also became 1st with a worse time of 1:09:56... In my opinion it’s the hardest level of CycloManiacs 2. HeroMax RotMG
What do I change? I’m honestly at a loss for ideas. I just have to keep pushing.
It’s after midnight.
Alright. Here goes nothing. I’ve got this.
Oh shit. OMG. I have done it. I was so overcome with joy that I messaged Jon Bois immediately.
I’ve unlocked every biker in the game.
Just in time for me to never ever want to play this game again in my life. I’ve been riding such a high ever since winning and it’s been a full 12 hours later. This is incredible. A journey that I have sporadically gone through since high school has come to an end. The Cyclomaniacs 2 end movie has a still that says this.
Three hours? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Tiring of limiting his racist tropes to black people and Latinos, the Trump administration sees covid-19 as the perfect opportunity to try out some racism against Asian people. You know, for flavor.
As if we needed any more evidence that the world is a psychedelic hellscape, RuPaul—yeah, that RuPaul— and his husband are making money off the fracking industry. Yes, yes, this sounds like a wild conspiracy theory. But we’ve got the receipts.
Books, television, and film have had a wide range of pandemic and/or zombie outbreak depictions over the years—some eerily accurate, others not so much. But even taking all these into consideration, we can’t really think of any that properly account for the sheer number of dumbasses around us at any given moment. You…
by Phillip Foss on The Takeout, shared by Erik Adams to The A.V. Club
COVID-19 has arrived in the United States, and as a chef who barely made it through the 2009 recession, I have a sick feeling that this time will be worse for my industry.
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This DIY kitchen redo is full of smart savings.
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