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09 Jan 16:36

Why Snowpiercer Is a Sequel to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

by Jason Kottke
IKEA Monkey

Corey was explaining this to me last night. Gotta admit - pretty convicing.

In this video, Luke Palmer makes a surprisingly compelling case that Bong Joon-ho’s Snowpiercer is actually a sequel to the beloved 1971 film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. (Spoilers for both films to follow.) The main idea is that Charlie Bucket inherits the Wonka fortune and grows up to be Wilford, who builds the train to save humanity.

They’re both two movies about groups of people that work their way through a large fantastic structure. One-by-one, a person from the group is removed in each room until one person makes it to the very end, who then found out that the entire thing was a test because a wealthy industrialist needed to find a new successor.

I love this, but I wouldn’t go so far as saying it’s a sequel. A reboot maybe or an homage. (via @mulegirl)

Tags: Bong Joon-ho   Luke Palmer   movies   Snowpiercer   video   Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
08 Jan 21:51

Mega Mall redevelopment scores full construction permit

by Jay Koziarz

The mixed-use “Logan’s Crossing” project is cleared to rise seven stories above Milwaukee Avenue

In Logan Square, the redevelopment of the former Mega Mall hit a key milestone on Friday as the city awarded a $20 million building permit to its eventual replacement—the mixed-use project known as Logan’s Crossing.

While foundation work on the upcoming complex began at the 2500 block of North Milwaukee Avenue last June, the newly issued permit means the new development can climb to its final seven-story height.

In the works since 2015, Logan’s Crossing replaces the now demolished Mega Mall shopping center with a pair of brick-clad structures connected by an elevated pedestrian bridge. Combined, they’ll offer 220 apartments, 110 parking spaces, and 67,000 square feet of commercial space anchored by a small format Target.

Logan’s Crossing is a joint venture between developers Fifield Realty Corp. and Terraco Real Estate. The Antunovich Associates-designed project is expected to finish construction later this year and welcome tenants shortly thereafter.

 Antunovich Associates
A “skybridge” will connect the two buildings of Logan’s Crossing.

The oblong, two-building project is one of dozens of recent transit-oriented developments (TOD’s) to spring up along Chicago’s Milwaukee Avenue, shadowing the path of the O’Hare branch of the CTA Blue Line.

Since the city expanded TOD zoning rules in 2015, thousands of residential units have reshaped the rapidly-evolving North Side corridor. While some residents welcome new investment, others have voiced concerns over rising rents, gentrification pressures, and Blue Line overcrowding.

08 Jan 20:21

Blind Items Revealed #4

by ent lawyer
IKEA Monkey

"I don't know her"

December 31, 2018

When they ran into each other at a cafe yesterday, this permanent A list singer/diva who isn't what she used to be pretended she didn't know this other permanent A list singer who have each performed the same role on a reality television show.

Mariah Carey/Katy Perry
08 Jan 14:51

Nursing Facility CEO Resigns After Woman in Vegetative State Gives Birth

by Hazel Cills
IKEA Monkey

This is horrifying

The CEO of the Arizona nursing facility where a woman recently gave birth, despite being in a vegetative state for over a decade, has resigned.

Read more...

07 Jan 20:39

Fiji Water Model Photobombs the Shit Out of the Golden Globes

by Manisha Krishnan
IKEA Monkey

Good for her, these are funny

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

A Toronto woman served more than just Fiji Water on the red carpet at the 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards Sunday night.

Canadian model Kelleth Cuthbert was a self-described “#fijiwatergirl” at the awards show, meaning she walked amongst the stars with a tray of Fiji Water, ostensibly to hand out to thirsty guests.

But it looks like Cuthbert got a little thirsty herself—for the spotlight. (Sorry, it’s Monday.) The model was serving looks as she photobombed stars like Richard Madden, Idris Elba, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Kiki Layne, all whilst working that tray of overpriced H20.

In several of the photos, Cuthbert is looking directly at the camera with a self-assured smile and an ever-so-slightly cocked eyebrow, suggesting she knows exactly what she’s doing.

There’s a decent chance Cuthbert orchestrated this whole thing in the hopes of going viral and if that’s the case—well done, girl.

Meanwhile, Cuthbert wasn’t the only Canadian to have a good night at the Globes. Ottawa-born Sandra Oh won best actress in a television drama for Killing Eve.

OK, Canadian content requirements have been met.

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Follow Manisha Krishnan on Twitter.

07 Jan 18:39

Meet the ladies of ‘The Bachelor’ 2019

by Caroline Darney
IKEA Monkey

if DJ Agro is 26 I'll eat my hat

Take a minute to get acquainted with some of the women who will be vying for Colton’s heart this season.

We here at SB Nation realize that “The Bachelor” is very much sports. Therefore, each week we’ll recap all the heartbreak, drama, and excitement.

Tonight, the millionth 23rd season of the Bachelor franchise kicks off as the sweet, baby-faced Colton Underwood goes in search of Forever Love. You may recognize Colton from his stint on “The Bachelorette,” where the titular Becca Kufrin sent our lovable cherub home after hometown dates. The 26-year-old, who shared last season that he is still a virgin, then went on “Bachelor in Paradise” where he and on-again-off-again fling Tia bored us with some nonsense before ultimately breaking up and heading home at a convenient time to be named the next Bachelor.

Now, Colton will sift through 30 women to find his one true love. Before the season starts (ABC, 8 p.m./7 p.m. central), let’s take a moment to get to know the ladies. You can check out all their bachelorette bios here.

Best Profession: Dog Rescuer (Alex B., 29)

Is it too late to change this to my “job”? Dog Rescuer is what I’m going to call myself in five years when I adopt another handful of puppers to go with the two maniacs I already have.

Honestly, she’s kind of my favorite and it’s the first bio I’ve read. I mean come ON:

Alex is the proud owner of a successful dog rescue business, which takes her all over the world in search of four-legged friends to save. To date, she’s saved almost 5,000 dogs from slaughter.

That’s pretty awesome. They’re good dogs, Colton.

Worst Job Descriptions: Three-way tie

OK, now I know ABC likes to get...creative...with job titles, but things have gone too far. Previously we’ve had “Twin” (Emily and Haley Ferguson), “Free Spirit” (Lucy Aragon), “Social Media Participant” (Kamil Nicalek), “Chicken Enthusiast” (Tiara Soleim), and the godforsaken “Whaboom” (Lucas Yancey).

This season, we have three that make “Dog Rescuer” seem like it’s completely normal:

Sloth — Alex D., 23

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? She has a job (Account Manager at an IT staffing agency), so why would you either ask, or agree to (not sure which), the producers just calling you a Sloth because you move slowly? This really bothers me.

Cinderella — Erin, 28

EXTENDED EYE ROLL.

Never Been Kissed — Heather, 22

Of the three, this is the only one who may not have an actual job (which is totally fine). She’s a self-proclaimed “thrill-seeker” that, despite having bungee-jumped and sky-dived and river-rafted, she’s still never kissed a boy! Not sure how all those are related, but I feel like we’re going to get a really long talk between Colton and Heather about this.

Oh, and she has a cat named Kitty.

Coolest Chick: Cassie, 23

I want to have a beer with Cassie. She’s an “avid surfer” and hails from Huntington Beach, Calif. Her pre-limo package is sure to be full of surfing clips and her looking out at the waves crashing onto the shore while the voiceover says stuff like, “I’m just looking for that person to ride the waves of this crazy world with.”

She even just looks like a cool person:

Cassie from The Bachelor 2019 ABC

But the best part of Cassie’s bio isn’t even any of that. It’s the fact that she has two cats named Goose and Maverick. You can be my wingwoman anytime, Cassie.

Best “I don’t even know what to say” Bio: Catherine, 26

I mean....what? First of all, Catherine is a “successful commercial real estate agent,” but at night she hits the turntables to pump up Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., as DJ Agro.

DJ AGRO!

Her bio describes her as an, “up-and-coming hip-hop DJ making a name for herself on the Ft. Lauderdale club scene.” OK, then. It goes on to list her favorite author as Dr. Seuss (reminder, she’s 26), and that she doesn’t have any tattoos because, “you don’t put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari.”

Catherine from The Bachelor 2019 ABC

This is going to be fun, Catherine DJ Agro.

Biggest Liar Liar Pants on Fire: Bri, 24

Bri seems like a pretty straight forward Bachelor/ette contestant from her bio. She’s a model, lists “farting too loudly” as her biggest date fear (quiet farting is fine?), and “loves when a date notices her outfit.” But Bri is going to be hated by the house, mark my words. Why? Because she’s willing to pull shit like this:

This is the clip that finally got me excited for this season. BRI YOU SLY DOG.

Too Nice For This Show: Courtney, 23

Courtney was born in Germany (Wiesbaden...my guess is a military brat), is the oldest of five, puts together healthy meal plans for athletes, and has a perfectly rational fear of reptiles.

Most “I’m One of the Guys” Bio: Demi, 23

Here are all the things Demi lists as likes/skills:

  • ATVing
  • Fishing
  • Watching WWE
  • Driving stick shift

These things are all super fun and great, but it feels like she’s going for the “I’m not like the other girls” schtick, which can get old. Also, if she could have lunch with anyone, it would be Jon Snow from “Game of Thrones.” In character.

Most Relatable: Onyeka, 24

A native of Manhattan...Kansas, Onyeka likes Cheez-It crackers (same), uses “you look so familiar” as her go-to pickup line (um, I will now), and does IT risk management for a job (not same, but relatable nonetheless). Her parents got engaged after two weeks (and have been together for 35 years), so if anyone would understand during hometown dates, it’s Onyeka’s parents.

Onyeka from The Bachelor 2019 ABC

Craziest Fear (Frogs): Tahzjuan, 25

OK, I have so many questions. How does one develop a “paralyzing fear of frogs”? Tahzjuan hails from Castle Pines, Colo., and according to some quick Google research, Colorado is home to several types of frogs and toads. Does she truly freeze? What happens then?

There’s also:

  • Two title-winning beauty queens in Miss North Carolina 2018 (Caelynn) and Miss Alabama 2018 (Hannah B.)
  • Someone who “boasts that one of her talents is being able to eat whatever she wants without gaining weight” (Erika)
  • Two women who like to go “glamping” (Hannah G. and Katie)
  • Several names I’m going to have trouble keeping track of (Alex B. and Alex D., Hannah B. and Hannah G., and Caelynn and Caitlin)
  • Women who are fluent in Spanish (Laura), Russian (Adrianne “Jane”), and Mandarin (Revian)
  • An NBA dancer (Sydney)

07 Jan 16:29

Florida man shoves pizza in dad’s face after learning he helped deliver him at birth

IKEA Monkey

...wat

Florida man shoves pizza in dad’s face after learning he helped deliver him at birthRobert Houston was arrested after attacking his father with a pizza after finding out his father delivered him at birth.


07 Jan 15:37

Bill Daley: Shrink Chicago City Council from 50 aldermen to 15

by Bill Ruthhart

Given all the graft and corruption over the years, mayoral candidate Bill Daley says it’s time for Chicago to overhaul its government, starting with reducing the number of aldermen from 50 to 15.

There is, of course, some irony in Daley, the brother and son of two former mayors who held the office...

07 Jan 15:03

Does the Paint World Need Another White?

by Patricia Marx
Patricia Marx on the color consultant Martin Kesselman’s new shade, Elliyah, which people have compared to “a perfect glass of two per cent” milk.
07 Jan 14:59

The Bachelor is backelor 

by Allison Shoemaker on TV Club, shared by Allison Shoemaker to The A.V. Club
IKEA Monkey

OMG COREY

Here’s what’s happening in the world of television for Monday, January 7. All times are Eastern.

Read more...

07 Jan 00:42

Lizzo Makes Us Happy, and Backstreet (Dadstreet?) Still Has a Place in Our Hearts

by Clover Hope, Maria Sherman, Rich Juzwiak, and Frida Garza on The Muse, shared by Clover Hope to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

Lizzo forever

Yes, incredible: Lizzo, “Juice” (video) - I can’t help that I’m easily swayed by ’80s aesthetics, especially when it’s done with style, glamour, and Soul Glo-inspired vision. This is Lizzo’s catchy, effusive ballad for all the baddies on which she refuses to stop being great: “It ain’t my fault that I’m out here…

Read more...

04 Jan 21:16

You Should Start the Year by Deleting Twitter From Your Phone

by Joel Kahn
IKEA Monkey

Done!

At the live recording for our podcast, The Upgrade, our guests went around to share their upgrades of the week. While the theme of the evening was “How to Fail,” our guests had some success stories, too.

Read more...

04 Jan 17:09

Tidying Up With Marie Kondo Offers Gentle Self-Help, For Better and Worse

by Megan Reynolds on The Muse, shared by Megan Reynolds to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

I've been binging this and have already cleaned out all of my clothes AND books! Working on the third rung now. "Papers" are going to be the death of me.

Tidying Up With Marie Kondo was released on January 1, in a calculated attempt to activate the great American tradition of overhauling one’s life when the new year hits. It is mesmerizing in its sameness, much like The Great British Bakeoff or Queer Eye soothes the brain. Marie Kondo, Japanese tidying expert, and her…

Read more...

04 Jan 16:17

What's Frankie Muniz up to? Selling fancy olive oil in Arizona and loving payroll

by Allison Shoemaker on The Takeout, shared by Clayton Purdom to The A.V. Club
IKEA Monkey

Aw, I think this is really sweet. Good for him for pursing something he loves, with someone he loves, and being incredibly normal!

It’s always nice when you think to yourself, “Hey, I wonder whatsuchandsuch child star is up to now,” and then look for the answer and find out something nice and cool. Danica McKellar is a mathematician (and still acting)! Mara Wilson is an author with opinions on hot dogs and sandwiches! And Frankie “Malcolm from

Read more...

04 Jan 14:47

And Here We Have Ryan Zinke's Goodbye Letter Written in Red Marker 

by Ashley Reese on The Slot, shared by Ashley Reese to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

what the heck

Wednesday is Ryan Zinke’s last day as Secretary of the Interior and pretend geologist, and apparently the only writing instrument left in his office was a red Sharpie. It’s the only way to explain why Zinke, hater of doors and tribal lands, wrote a goodbye letter that looks like this:

Read more...

04 Jan 14:29

Please Let Snoop Dogg Adopt This Dog Named Snoop

by Kara Weisenstein
IKEA Monkey

LET SNOOP HAVE SNOOP

On December 17, a soulless human dumped a sweet white Staffordshire bull terrier named Snoop on the side of the road in Stoke-on-Trent, England. Footage of this heinous affront to good dogs everywhere was captured on CCTV, released by the RSPCA around Christmas, and quickly went viral.

The sad saga caught the attention of the OG Snoop, Snoop Dogg the rapper, who offered to adopt the pupper, inviting him to live out his doggy days at “Casa De Snoop.” But distressingly, the RSPCA doesn’t seem interested in Snoop’s generous offer.

A representative told PEOPLE that Snoop the dog is currently staying at “private kennels” and is not up for adoption while the charity investigates his abandonment, but has had “scores of people wanting to rehome him so we are certain he will not be waiting long for a new home.”

Frankly, this is an affront to the positive energy with which I’d hoped to begin the new calendar year. If a down-on-his-luck dog named Snoop can't be adopted by a wealthy, kind man like Snoop Dogg, what hope is there for the rest of 2019? How will we accumulate enough good karma to expunge the bad memories of 2018, and 2017, and 2016, until we’re back in the good old days when we had a president with a sense of humor and spirit of human decency?

Here is an exhaustive list of all the reasons the RSPCA ought to let Snoop Dogg adopt Snoop the dog, becoming the Zaddy Warbucks to his Doggy Orphan Annie:

  1. This dog will want for naught. Imagine how much space there is at Casa De Snoop for Snoop the dog to run around doing doggy stuff all day. Snoop Dogg the man is worth about $135 million—plenty rich to supply a pupper with a never ending supply of bones and fancy dog beds for the rest of his days.
  2. He’ll have other doggy friends. Snoop Dogg already has one dog, a French bulldog named Juelz Broadus given to him by Wiz Khalifa as a birthday present. And according to Juelz’s Instagram, this pup lives a pretty cushy life, tooling around LA in Louis Vuitton luggage and cuddling scantily clad dancers on set.
  3. He’ll get pampered by Martha Stewart. She and Snoop Dogg have been friends for a decade and have a cooking show together on VH1. They could bake really gourmet bones for Snoop the dog and his new brother Juelz.
  4. Snoop² would make great entertainment. Picture a buddy comedy starring Snoop Dogg, his dog Snoop, 2Chainz, and his dog Trappy. It’d be like Peanuts for 2019.

We, the dog lovers of the internet, can only hope the RSPCA does the right thing and allows two kindred Snoops to become a family. It’d be the ultimate cosmic justice. The wayward soul who dumped Snoop on the side of the road will have ultimately done a good thing by being the impetus for a beautiful canine friendship.

Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.

Follow Kara Weisenstein on Twitter.

04 Jan 14:25

No No, The Trade War Is Awesome It'll All Be Fine!

by Five Dollar Feminist
IKEA Monkey

WTF is with that poster



Sorry to interrupt this very happy day, but it looks like we may be in for a wee smidge of economic turbulence. Yesterday morning, President Arty McDeals played Game of Sycophants while dribbling onto a giant poster of himself emblazoned with the words, "Sanctions Are Coming." Just hours later, Apple halted trading of its shares to announce that its first quarter expected profits will be down substantially. Seems that sanctions are already here, and they're taking a huge bite out of the American economy. Trade wars are good and easy to win!

Despite Donald Trump's constant insistence that the Chinese are paying when we sanction their imports, here on Planet Earth, it is actually American importers coughing up the cash and then passing the additional cost on to consumers. Do you see Xi Jin Ping ranting about American farmers paying for a new Great Wall through the yuuuuge soybean tariffs enacted by his government in response to American levies? No, you don't! Because President Xi is not A IDIOT. And also because Chinese pig producers can simply buy their soybeans from Brazil instead, leaving North Dakota farmers with silos full of rotting legumes.


But since the Chinese economy is heavily dependent on exports to America, Chinese consumers currently have a lot less money to spend buying iPhones. Or as Tim Cook puts it,

China's economy began to slow in the second half of 2018. The government-reported GDP growth during the September quarter was the second lowest in the last 25 years. We believe the economic environment in China has been further impacted by rising trade tensions with the United States. As the climate of mounting uncertainty weighed on financial markets, the effects appeared to reach consumers as well, with traffic to our retail stores and our channel partners in China declining as the quarter progressed. And market data has shown that the contraction in Greater China's smartphone market has been particularly sharp.

Since Apple halted trading yesterday, its shares are down more than 10%. Turns out that undermining the Chinese economy and calling them a bunch of rapacious thieves is a bad way to get them to buy more of our stuff. Who knew!

Never fear, because White House Council of Economic Advisers Chairman Kevin Hassett is here to reassure the markets with a promise that the losses will be spread across all major sectors. So cheer up, Apple!

It's not going to be just Apple. I think that there are a heck of a lot of US companies that have a lot of sales in China that are basically going to be watching their earnings being downgraded next year until we get a deal with China. And that puts a lot of pressure on China to make a deal.

ARE YOU NOT REASSURED?

Hassett's argument goes something like this: America is the indispensable market, and if we can just crash the Chinese economy, they'll eventually knuckle under and start buying cars from us while simultaneously accepting slave wages to assemble the cheap electronics we've come to love. Then Apple and Ford's share prices will soar, and Americans can still buy infinity shit without forcing corporations to increase wages. Hooray!

Let's see, if you multiply A by the square root of B and carry the one you get ... a great, steaming pile of BULLSHIT!

Leaving aside the implicit assumption that China will remain the world's workshop for all eternity, Hassett's gleeful predictions that the American bull market will go on forever under Donald Trump's wise and temperate guidance (LOL) are already provable bullshit. GDP growth continues to slow as we get over the sugar rush from the Republican tax boondoggle. No WALL will exempt us from the global slowdown, and no matter how much the MAGA loons refuse to believe it, the law of gravity still applies in US America.

Politico reports, as the Chinese and American economies soften, they each run out of ammo to fight.

"I think personally that the trade war is coming to an end and there is really nothing Trump can do about it," Jim Paulsen, chief investment strategist at The Leuthold Group, said in the latest edition of the POLITICO Money podcast. "If you have the United States and China both with very weak economies, the negotiation around trade just evaporates. Neither party has any negotiating power left. They both have to stop what they are doing."

We're not immune from a global recession, and unlike China, our farmers can vote. The Chinese Communist Party can withstand a lot of economic pain, but two more years of moderate economic slowdown will tank the GOP in 2020. And no amount of insane grinning from Kevin Hassett can change that.

Okay, that's enough economy talk for one day. Please to enjoy the obligatory Trade War Happy Face picture of Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross pretending to enjoy his regular lunch of canned soup and domestic beer from a Capitol Hill bodega.

Nothing to fear, kids, we're in good hands!

[Apple Letter / NYT / Politico]

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02 Jan 20:17

The “Beastie Boys Book” Audiobook Is a Star-Studded Mixtape

by Jason Kottke
IKEA Monkey

Need this

Beastie Boys Book

I am only a casual Beastie Boys fan, but I’ve been hearing nothing but really good things about their goofball memoir, Beastie Boys Book.

With a style as distinctive and eclectic as a Beastie Boys album, Beastie Boys Book upends the typical music memoir. Alongside the band narrative you will find rare photos, original illustrations, a cookbook by chef Roy Choi, a graphic novel, a map of Beastie Boys’ New York, mixtape playlists, pieces by guest contributors, and many more surprises.

The boys also went all-out on the audiobook edition, a 13-hour version of the book that’s as much a mixtape as an audiobook from an all-star cast of more than three dozen readers, including Beasties Mike D and Ad-Rock as well as Steve Buscemi, Elvis Costello, Chuck D, Snoop Dogg, Will Ferrell, Kim Gordon, LL Cool J, Spike Jonze, Pat Kiernan, Talib Kweli, Bette Midler, Nas, Rosie Perez, Amy Poehler, and many more.

There are a pair of excerpts on Soundcloud, the first from the book’s introduction by Ad-Rock and the second from Mike D:

Ok well, I’m totally hooked.

Tags: audio   Beastie Boys   Beastie Boys Book   books
02 Jan 16:30

Australian man screaming at spider 'why don't you die?' triggers full police response

IKEA Monkey

"there had been no injuries at the scene apart from those sustained by the spider"

Australian man screaming at spider 'why don't you die?' triggers full police responsePolice in Australia responded to reports of a man screaming "why don't you die?" by dispatching multiple units to a home in Perth. But officers were soon told to stand down when they found a man who “had only been trying to kill a spider", according to the police log published online. The alarm was raised when a passer-by heard a screaming child and a man repeatedly shouting.  In a tweet on Wednesday morning Wanneroo police shared their account of the unusual incident.  It cited the man’s “serious fear” of spiders, and added that there had been no injuries at the scene apart from those sustained by the spider.  The now-deleted tweet by Wanneroo police The tweet read: “Multiple police units responded lights and sirens to the incident this morning. Never a dull moment for the Police!” A police spokesman, Samuel Dinnison, said: "It's just one of those jobs where you go expecting to see one thing and see another." He confirmed the tweet was later deleted from Twitter because it pictured internal police communication systems and because “there were just some typos in it, things like that”. The man was reported to have apologised “for the inconvenience” he had caused. A similar incident occurred in 2015 , when police in Sydney found a man screaming “I’m going to kill you, you’re dead” at a spider in his home.


02 Jan 15:03

The Future of Food TV Is Female

by Megan Reynolds
IKEA Monkey

I had a really lengthy discussion with some friends recently about the difference in how men and women are portrayed in food or cooking shows. Men are allowed to be loud, combative even, gluttonous to the point of sloppiness, grunting and yelling and gorging. Women, on the other hand, have either had to remain skinny and perky or comfortably sexless, and their enjoyment of food has been relegated to nearly sexualized (like Nigella, who I do love) or codified in the pleasure of feeding others rather than just eating. We've come a long way from Julia Child and with the media-driven expectations of men vs women in television it was only a matter of time before sexist stereotypes became engrained in cooking or food shows, despite the kitchen being historically the domain of domestics, which are mainly women.

Obviously, we can go back and forth and rattle off individual exceptions to larger "rules", so to say they're "rules" is not even accurate. But I see ads for this show called "F*ck That's Delicious" with Action Bronson, and I wonder how it would play if it were women making that show.

When I watch Samin Nosrat on Salt Fat Acid Heat, however, I see what I personally feel as a woman who loves to eat, who loves to cook, both for others and herself. I see what I feel as a woman who loves to travel to learn and understand food, who understands that food ties us together, and that in the vast majority of global societies, it is the women who cook and feed. She crosses her eyes with delight at a bite of gelato, she hums with glee and surprise at eating a sour orange or a dab of fresh sea salt. She's not behind a counter, or fussing over cooking meals for others. She's cooking and eating for the sheer pleasure of it, and sharing it with us. THAT is what I want to see more of.

I hope the future of food is female. Women are the first source of food for humanity. We should absolutely have a HUGE space at the table (no pun intended) when it comes to the pleasures of food, cooking, and learning and sharing everything we can about it. Un-self-consciously and fully and wonderfully. Fuck, that's delicious.

Samin Nosrat handles food as it should be—with pleasure. In her Netflix series, Salt Fat Acid Heat, she explores the four pillars of good food by following these sensations to various sources around the world. In Italy, she tastes a thin sliver of barely-ripe Parmesan cheese made from the milk of red cows and sighs in…

Read more...

02 Jan 14:57

A Brief Tour of the New Year's Eve Programming on MTV as the New Millennial Dawned 

by Ashley Reese
IKEA Monkey

Holy shit this is some flashback

On January 1, 1999, MTV’s Carson Daily rung in the new year by introducing Limp Bizkit, who proceeded to do a cover of Prince’s “1999.”

Read more...

02 Jan 00:03

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?

by Barry Petchesky on Adequate Man, shared by Barry Petchesky to Deadspin

Happy new year, one and all. This year, resolve to take better care of your dick and balls; last year you did a really bad job of it.

Read more...

31 Dec 17:55

Here Are Some Photos Of Tom Brady Taken Today

by Dan McQuade
IKEA Monkey

I clicked to expand and then I LOL'd

Maddie Meyer from Getty Images photographed today’s Jets-Patriots game. She got some excellent photos of Tom Brady, like the one above.

Read more...

30 Dec 05:49

Rent this cozy loft that doubles as a furniture showroom

by Liz Stinson
IKEA Monkey

I love the style, EXCEPT.... there are not nearly enough pillows on that bed. I guess that's more photogenic, but if you want to tempt me into a bed, stack at least 2-3 pillows per head in that bed. And I want real pillows, not fancy but scratchy and stiff throw pillows.

Hygge meets hip

A cozy loft is a bit of an oxymoron. Lofts are open, airy, and spacious by their very nature, but this rentable two-bedroom apartment-meets-showroom in Copenhagen manages to bring the two concepts together with ample style.

Designed by David Thulstrup, the 4,300-square-foot loft sits above the offices of Danish furniture company Vipp and serves as a livable retail concept store for the brand. Unsurprisingly, it’s expertly decorated.

Bed in cozy alcove Photo via Vipp
Bed with neutral blanket Photo via Vipp

Signature Scandinavian features like light wood floors, white walls, and tastefully rustic touches including pine wood beams and trusses contrast with deep-hued modern furniture from the brand. A spiraling metal staircase leads to two bedrooms, which are tucked into snug alcoves.

Green couches in loft space Photo via Vipp

The house is custom built for lounging. Two fuzzy chairs face a fireplace, next to which there’s an overflowing (but artfully arranged) container of firewood. Two aquamarine sofas anchor the living space and provide a rich burst of color in the otherwise subdued loft.

Want to see more? You can always rent the apartment, which goes for around $1,140 a night.

Via: The Spaces

30 Dec 02:10

The 50 Most Read Jezebel Posts of 2018

by Megan Reynolds
IKEA Monkey

omg remember Lil Tay?

We published many blogs this dreadful year, and you read a bunch of them. Here are the ones you read the most.

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30 Dec 02:09

Trump Blames Everyone Except Himself and Border Patrol for Children's Deaths

by Emily Alford
IKEA Monkey

I get through rough days where I feel very depressed knowing that I am going to outlive this absolutely abhorrent, horrible, disgusting person. It keeps me going on my worst days.

Donald Trump has blamed the Christmas Eve death of an 8-year-old boy on Democrats and the child’s grieving parents in a tweet.

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30 Dec 02:04

Blind Items Revealed #1

by ent lawyer
IKEA Monkey

I would too, John. If you're there to talk about a movie, don't talk about personal shit.

December 21, 2018

This A- list mostly movie actor who is higher in another part of the entertainment world threatened to walk out of an interview if the reporter asked another question about the actor's ex.

John Cena
27 Dec 21:00

Instagram briefly turned on horizontal scrolling, and people lost their goddamn minds

by William Hughes on News, shared by William Hughes to The A.V. Club
IKEA Monkey

oh thank god this was just a glitch. It suucked.

It’s one of those fun little usability glitches in the grab-bag of buggy software that is the human brain that people crave novelty, but hate change. Case in point: The general shit-losing that happened this morning, when Instagram screwed up and pushed an update to its scrolling system to “a few orders of magnitude…

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27 Dec 18:10

President Trump and Melania Visit Iraq, Smooch

by Ashley Reese on The Slot, shared by Ashley Reese to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

Why is he gripping her like that

Hope you’re enjoying this erotic photo.

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27 Dec 00:20

The Best Thing on TV This Year Was: 'Killing Eve'

by Nicole Clark
IKEA Monkey

Its true. this show was amazing. I need to rewatch.

BBC America's Killing Eve became one of the biggest surprise hits of the year. It's reexamination of the very structure of a detective show, paired with a fantastic performance by Sandra Oh and seemingly endless twists and turns, made it truly one of the best things on TV in 2018

Oh plays MI5 desk jockey Eve Polastri, who is promoted to detective and tasked with hunting down a skilled assassin named Villanelle (Jodie Comer). The two grow obsessed with one another, and the season narrows in on the emotional intimacies of the chase. It’s a spectacular success—one of the rare shows where viewership steadily increased over the course of the season.

"Don't I Know You?" —the show's third episode—hit like a rampart to the face. It's a major turning point in the series, the first taste of the show’s obsessive underbelly. You realize this isn’t a cat and mouse detective show in a traditional sense, where the lust for catching the killer is purely intellectual, like Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock mimicking the mental machinations of Moriarty. Instead it’s lust as lust. Sexual tension is foundational to the show’s plot, and this episode is a teaser for the way Killing Eve intertwines different kinds of “transgressive” acts—both the morbid, as in Polastri’s obsession with true crime to the point where she cuts herself in the season’s pilot to understand the flow of blood, as well as a kind of forbidden sexual tension between the two women.

Villanelle holding a knife to Eve Polastri

Villanelle decides to wear Polastri’s scarf around town—and this is how Pargrave spots her. An assassin by trade, Villanelle always has the upper hand. But what makes her so fantastic as a villain(elle) is the swagger of her kills. Villanelle lures Pargrave into a nightclub where the loud, chaotic atmosphere emboldens her to murder him in plain sight. The only cover is the sheer density of humans on the dance floor. When Polastri finally finds him, he’s already bleeding to death from his stab wounds. Her calls for help are smothered by the music. This scene—much like the most arresting parts of Killing Eve as a whole—are haunting and nightmarish.

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