IKEA Monkey

Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Texas), the chairman of the House Rules Committee, has recently introduced a resolution called “Recognizing magic as a rare and valuable art form and national treasure.”

Read more...

The Obamas are looking pretty media-savvy this week, what with President Barack Obama appearing at SXSW last Friday and First Lady Michelle Obama slated to appear at the festival later today. In advance of that appearance, Michelle enlisted Missy Elliott, Kelly Clarkson, and Janelle Monae to record a pop song about female empowerment, called “This Is For My Girls.” 

The song, written by Diane Warren, also features Kelly Rowland, former Disney star Zendaya, Lea Michelle, and Chloe & Halle, who are signed to Beyoncé’s management company. Sonically, the thing is a pretty straightforward, very “now” sounding pop-R&B jam, with lots of bright horns and pretty good lyrics. It is far better than one could ever hope of a government-endorsed pop song.

And why did the government endorse this song? Well, it’s part of two White House initiatives: Let Girls Learn and #62MillionGirls.  The song is now available on iTunes, but you can listen to it here.

Michelle Obama will appear at a panel at SXSW today at noon EST. She’ll be joined on stage by Missy Elliott, Queen Latifah, Diane Warren, and Sophia Bush. Watch here.

Another day, another great cover—though this one’s closer to a remix:

Dr. Octagon, a.k.a. Kool Keith, put out one of the all-time great rap albums, 1996’s Dr. Octagonecologyst. “Blue Flowers” was a standout track then, but what’s remarkable is that today, 20 years later, it’s still living, breathing, and mutating, as artists of all stripes and levels of fame remix it. Prince Paul’s “So Beautiful” mix [embedded above] is the best known (and arguably the best). But there’s a lot to like in ADP3000’s “Blue Flowers in Brooklyn Zoo,” Worksounds’s “Work Springtime Remix,” Black Grass's eponymous mix, and a dozen others. Jury’s out on Team Teamwork’s Nintendo-based Yoshi’s Island version, though.

(Track of the Day archive here. Access it through Spotify here. Submit via hello@)

The brand wants to address the world's bee problem.

I love every single thing about this sign.

Kendall Oliver identifies as mostly male and wears masculine clothing. But the barber said freedom of religion protects his right not to give Oliver a haircut.

The Sacramento Kings treated fans to a baby race during halftime of yesterday’s game, and oh man did those babies shame themselves.

Read more...

The UK’s 125th annual Crufts dog show wrapped up Sunday. Every dog in attendance was a very good dog.

Read more...

When I heard that GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump was coming to Clemson University, where I teach, I didn't initially plan to protest.

My intentions changed when someone brought it to my attention that Trump's visit roughly coincided with the one-year anniversary of the murder of three Muslim students in a Chapel Hill, North Carolina, parking lot. I remember huddling on a cold evening shortly after that incident, as members of the Muslim community here at Clemson came together for a vigil. Then a few days before the Trump rally, I got a Facebook message from a former student of mine, Sheffy Kaur Minnick, asking me if anyone was planning to protest. Minnick seemed disheartened when I explained that Clemson University had the right to rent its property out to any presidential candidate, no matter how controversial. "I grew up with my family and dad being targeted because he wears a turban as a Sikh," she replied. "Since I work with university students, it triggered me knowing he was talking at Clemson. I just can't accept the idea of him spreading his rhetoric of fear and spreading his delusional methodology for making America great to the next generation." Reading her words, I felt that I had a responsibility to engage in some small act of resistance.

Earlier this year, I had seen Muslim activist Rose Hamid and her ally kicked out of a Trump rally in Rock Hill, South Carolina, an action that was widely covered by the media. Hamid, who is now facing an Islamphobic backlash, was effective in drawing attention to the problems with the Trump campaign's rhetoric, but I wanted to do something different. I would attend the rally in a peaceful, non-intrusive manner, but I would not go out of my way to be small, invisible, or to make anyone feel comfortable. I wanted to challenge the Trump campaign and its supporters to see and treat me as human. So I decided to wear a red West African shirt and pants and a keffiyeh that had been wrapped by an Arab friend, an outfit that represented both my heritage as an African-American man and solidarity with my friends from the Middle Eastern community. It was also, I felt, an outfit that neither a terrorist nor a Syrian refugee would be likely to wear to this type of an event.

The rally was held in the T. Ed Garrison Arena, a facility normally reserved for livestock events such as rodeos, horse shows, and cattle auctions. The place was packed with nearly 5,000 attendees, a sea of red "Make America Great Again" hats and "Bomb the Hell Out of ISIS" T-shirts. The smells of popcorn and stale manure hung in the air, and Trump's voice echoed through the arena.

At the security check, the officer gave me a confused look before passing me through. I walked with a friend toward a section near the stage and stood in the aisle of the front row for about ten minutes before sitting down. Had I been a white woman dressed in jeans or a skirt, or a white man in a "Make America Great Again" hat, standing at the edge of that balcony, I probably would have been interpreted as just another enthusiastic Trump supporter. But instead I was a six-foot, 245-pound black man in African clothes and a keffiyeh. Although I had only been standing silently and then sitting, it felt as though every subtle movement I made was being interpreted as threatening.

Once Trump ended his speech and began the handshaking, autograph-signing portion of the event, hundreds of people moved toward the stage, and I was one of them. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab my arm. I turned around to find that I was now surrounded by several police officers, one of whom asked me to leave. I forced myself to be as calm as I could, knowing what kind of danger can occur to black folks who are deemed noncompliant. I agreed to leave, but I asked why. "This is a private event," the officer responded, "and we have the right to ask you to leave." After asking a few more times, I was told that I had to leave because the event was over. It was true that Trump's speech was over, but there were hundreds of people still in the venue interacting with the candidate.

Eventually seven or so officers escorted me out—two Secret Service types, two Anderson County officers in military fatigues, and three more officers in black uniforms. Strangely, my friend A D. Carson, who was standing nearby and filming, was also asked to leave. Once outside, I again asked why we had been asked to leave. The same frustrated officer from before was growing annoyed. "Look, we're being really generous," he huffed. Finally, Anderson Sheriff Captain Garland Major appeared, explaining, "The Trump people said that you're no longer welcome here," and finally, we left.

That evening, using footage from both A. D.'s and my mobile phones, we quickly put together a video documenting the events. I uploaded the video to Facebook and YouTube and went to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I noticed that the video had 500 shares and several thousand views. By noon the video had over 2,000 shares and 100,000 views. Currently the video has been shared over 12,000 times and has over 3 million views after being posted on various sites on the internet.

A friend of mine also sent me a snippet from a conservative talk radio caller who claimed to have been sitting near me. After giving a basic description of my actions that I mostly agreed with, she recounted her feelings of "sheer fright" and how "shifty" I had been acting. Another caller informed listeners that I had clearly been a Muslim who wanted to "put Islam at the center" so that "they can take over."

There was another kind of comment, too, the kind that pops up whenever there are insinuations of discrimination of any kind in the US.

It may seem unfair to point to these anecdotal examples among the many comments we received. The problem is that these bigoted, threatening comments and emails echo the culture of physical violence at Trump campaign events. Over the past few months, this has included the forceful ejections of Hamid and numerous other protestors. In late February, a Secret Service agent choke-slammed a TIME photojournalist at a rally, a week later a mob of Trump supporters shoved a black protester across the arena before she was finally escorted out by police, and this Wednesday, another black protester was sucker-punched at a rally in North Carolina.

These attacks on the press, peaceful protesters, and visible "others" highlight a fascinating irony in a campaign that is so focused on stomping out threats to American safety and freedom. In light of that, we should be clear about something: From a statistical perspective, there simply is no evidence that Islamic terror or immigration are primary or even significant threats facing US citizens. The National Safety Council places the lifetime odds of dying from cancer or heart disease at one in seven, dying from chronic lower respiratory disease at one in 28, and dying in a motor vehicle crash at one in 112. Richard Barrett, former coordinator of the United Nations al Qaeda/Taliban Monitoring Team, estimates that your odds of dying of a terrorist attack in the US from 2007 to 2011 were one in 20 million. Despite these figures, exit polls showed that 66 percent of GOP voters in New Hampshire support Trump's temporary ban on Muslims. In South Carolina, it's 74 percent.

In 2016, South Carolinians and people across America are facing more than fears for their safety, but unique and very real challenges in the areas of poverty, social mobility, gun violence, and an oppressively low minimum wage. So I understand why many people feel insecure, anxious, and angry. These challenges structure the everyday lives of lower- and middle-class folks regardless of what religion they practice, or what language they speak.

But I also know that we are most vulnerable to manipulation when we are scared. After my experience at the rally, when I hear the phrase, "Make America Great Again," I can't help but think about the costs and casualties of American greatness both abroad and here at home. When I heard about the backlash against Hamid, I reached out to her and asked her if she felt safe. Her answer was instructive: "Is anyone really 'safe'? I put my faith in God, and I refuse to live in fear."

Follow Chenjerai on Twitter.

Chef Joshua Smookler took a hunk of waygu steak and dry-aged it for a ridiculous 400 days. No surprise, it tasted like "funk".

Tags: cooking   food   Joshua Smookler   steak   video

DAYTON, OH—Admiring how he could assemble a sour demeanor from practically nothing, employees at Western Business Services told reporters Friday their coworker Mark Daniels has the ability to cobble together a bad mood from just a handful of minor annoyances. “Just by combining a couple trivial irritations with a few petty nuisances, Mark’s able to construct a really shitty mood—in fact, he does it all the time,” said Daniels’ colleague Rachel Smith, adding that she once observed the enterprising 36-year-old hastily throw together news that the office coffee machine was broken along with the slight aggravation of a restaurant forgetting to include ketchup packets in his lunch order to create a week-long funk. “He’s just so inventive in how he takes such miniscule inconveniences and incorporates them in ingenious ways to build an awful fucking attitude. It seems pretty challenging to me, but Mark’s able ...

President Barack Obama's job approval among Americans has ticked up to its highest point since almost three years ago, according Gallup's weekly tracking poll.

Raccoon skulls never looked so ... pretty.

KURUMAN, SOUTH AFRICA—Archaeologists excavating a 1.5-million-year-old Homo erectus habitation site this week unearthed the strongest evidence to date that early humans first used fire to impress their friends. “Based on the locations and prevalence of burn marks at the site, we can infer that fire was initially utilized by early humans to show off in front of one another, typically by leaping over a flaming pit or passing their hands quickly back and forth across the flame of a burning log,” said Boston University researcher Benjamin Shostick, adding that the discovery supports the hypothesis that setting a grassy plain ablaze to crack up friends was an important part of hominid culture long before fire was used for cooking and warmth. “The evidence indicates that early man quite possibly vocalized a loud, confident grunt to a gathering of friends and then tossed a fiery piece of wood into the ...

Mike Myers has had some far out hairstyles over the years to put on characters like Austin Powers and Wayne of "Wayne's World." But his latest 'do is a big surprise.

This was the week everyone with a public profile and a social media account had something to say about Kim Kardashian’s nude selfie. There were so many philosophical questions posed: was it a step backwards? Was it feminist? Was it something a bad girl would do, or the act of a super-powerful woman? Indeed, the world of celebrity social media accounts resembled a heated feminist listserv discussion.

First into the fray was Chloë Grace Moretz, who mawkishly admonished the reality star for not promoting good “goals” for young women. “I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than just our bodies,” she tweeted, and then deleted — later making sure to note she was not slut-shaming. Really, she wasn’t.

In this same vein, memes contrasting Kardashian with more buttoned-up NBA wife Ayesha Curry circulated, leading to a discussion of the Madonna-whore complex online. Celebrities Pink and Amber Rose also each weighed in, with Pink on Team “Brains Over Bodies” (basically a veiled “Kim’s a bad girl” response) and Amber Rose on Team “Leave Kim Alone!”

Pink encouraged women to use their non-physical assets to feel self-respect, while Rose responded:

Now, if u wanna talk to kids and be a mentor to young teens, tell them to go to school and to not use their bodies to get ahead?! I’m all for it! But please as a grown woman let another grown woman live as she wishes. That’s our problem! We’re so quick to down each other instead of uplifting! Pink, We’ve seen u damn near naked swinging from a rope( Beautifully) but what’s the difference between a rope, a pole and a pic on Instagram?

Finally, not to be outdone by the younger women. Sharon Osbourne posted her own nude selfie in response to Kim Kardashian’s cry of “empowerment,” declaring herself inspired and, yes, empowered.

Meanwhile, Bette Midler made fun of Kardashian and took part in a spirited back and forth with the reality star and queen of the sexy selfie:

And what did the selfie queen herself have to say about all this discussion? On Twitter, Kardashian was at the ready with sharp and witty retorts for all the naysayers that mostly consisted of shade-throwing and garden-variety disses, but she also penned an essay, which of course was available only at her own website and required a subscription to read. Her piece  included the following statement:

I am empowered by my sexuality. I am empowered by feeling comfortable in my skin. I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me. And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world.

As delightful as her confidence is, Kardashian’s implication that simply posting glamorous, well-framed shots of her attractive body is somehow a victory for all the women of the world epitomizes the worst aspects of commodified feminism in 2016: the conflation of “branding,” narcissism, and self-absorption with some kind of political statement. Self-love is regularly co-opted these days, used to hawk products and promote fairly typical beauty standards (which Kardashian, curves and all, embodies), and the Kardashians are very guilty of this. So in my mind, it was acceptable for Midler to poke fun at Kardashian’s self-obsession, the main feature of her persona.

Furthermore, I still remain perplexed by the idea of selfie as inherent moral good. Feminism can liberate practices from undue scrutiny without exalting those practices. Staring at our own visages and bodies, or asking others for approval, doesn’t have an inherent value; their worth and meaning depend on context. The best thing Kardashian can do with her image is convince people with all sorts of bodies to be proud of them, which has clearly worked to an extent (see: Osbourne’s pic). Yet others are frustrated by the attention she gets, and it clearly makes them feel worse, or worried. It raises the question: are voices like Pink and Moretz merely speaking out for the purpose of shaming Kardashian, or are they perhaps also women in entertainment who often feel reduced to their bodies and wish they could all be taken more seriously?

It’s a valid question to raise, but misdirected. Better that celebrities own their opinions like Carrie Fisher and use their own selves to make the point that bodies aren’t everything. Using another woman’s body as your object lesson is always a mistake.

This is a a fine distinction: Kardashian shouldn’t be shamed or called out for for her picture. It’s sexist to harp on women’s vanity as though it’s some sort of fatal flaw since it’s a human trait, and men are vain to the same extent. But must we herald glamour and mirror-gazing, whether nude or clothed, as a feminist triumph? I will be satisfied with the state of Internet feminism if we just accept vanity, from folks of all gender permutations, as a habit akin to oversleeping, binge-watching TV, or eating breakfast: semi-universal, fun to share, and most importantly morally neutral, neither a blow for women’s equality nor against it.

Russia's military is looking for new recruits.

W assembled a trio of cool teens for its April cover: Zendaya, Mad Men’s Kiernan Shipka and my ruler Willow Smith, who all personify what the magazine describes as “a low-key attitude.”

Read more...

Gun-rights advocate Jamie Gilt was in stable condition after being shot through the back of her truck seat.

Hi guys, I have a confession to make: until I started writing here, I didn’t really get the whole spiel behind the Kardashian Empire. I never really understood the allure behind Kim, the real captain of the (mostly) alliterative crew that engineers the U.S.S. Kardashian. But Kimmie just dropped a whole lot of truth bombs about body-shaming, all of them made in a recent statement regarding the nude selfie she posted on March 6, and shit, guys, I think I’m finally starting to get it. And even if I don’t entirely get it, I can now say that Kim Kardashian made me tear up in a post perfectly timed for the feminist animus that embodies International Women’s Day.

Read more...

A man suspected of shooting a pastor connected to Ted Cruz was arrested last night outside the White House. It’s still unclear why he was there, but it seems likely related to his manifesto, which details an alien invasion at the highest levels of government.

Read more...

Lost in the excitement of activist investors launching a bid to rearrange boardroom chairs at United Airlines was some melancholy but not unexpected news from the carrier more likely to resonate with fliers.

United said Tuesday it's accelerating retirement of Boeing 747s from its fleet. The original...