IKEA Monkey

If you want to build the best sandwiches, this simple rule of thumb will ensure that every sandwich you make turns out great.

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As a band, Mogwai has evolved at the same pace as its songs. No single Mogwai record can be classified as a massive sonic shift for the band. Rather, new instruments, themes, and styles emerge on select tracks, only to appear down the line in a more fleshed-out manner. Analog sounds, for example, have bubbled up in Mogwai tracks since 2001’s Rock Action, but they never quite dominated the band’s symphonic guitar suites until “Remurdered,” the standout track from 2014’s Rave Tapes. And while “Remurdered” stood apart on that album, that same year’s release of “Teenage Exorcists”—a lean three-minute rager off the group’s EP Music Industry 3. Fitness Industry 1.—felt “pop” in a similar sense, hinting at a streamlined sound that’s more rock than post-rock. Atomic is fascinating because it invalidates that narrative, with the band instead shifting its focus to a ...

Dig out your blue eyeshadow, your body glitter and your Aqua Net, because it’s time for PROM WEEK on Pictorial.

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Blonde Redhead, Femi Kuti, Maceo Parker and Eddie Palmieri are among the performers that will be announced Thursday as part of Millennium Park’s annual music series.

The 18 free shows consolidate two successful series from previous summers -- Downtown Sound and Made in Chicago: World Class Jazz.

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Charlie Comero was disappointed when he learned last week that he had to start using the women's restroom in North Carolina, thanks to a new state law signed by Gov. Pat McCrory.

As the first quarter of 2016 nears an end, violence in Chicago has reached levels unseen in years, putting the city on course to top 500 homicides for only the second time since 2008.

As of 6 a.m. Wednesday, homicides totaled 135, a 71 percent jump over the 79 killings in the same year-earlier...

That’s what this post hopes to inspire you to do today; its caption reads, “It's #TakeAWalkInTheParkDay!”

A photo posted by TerraServer (@terra_server) on Mar 30, 2016 at 6:20am PDT

It’s Grant Park in Chicago, which is, by all accounts, a real park. But is “Take A Walk In The Park Day” a real holiday? The National Park Service appears recognize it as such, though it acknowledges that “the origins of this holiday are unclear.” If you’re interested in more micro-holidays, Megan wrote about their rise in 2014.

Holiday or not, it’s springtime in the Northern Hemisphere. A walk in the park probably wouldn’t hurt you.

(See all Orbital Views here)

Look at this goddamn dog chilling in his baby carrier at a Phillies spring training game. I have never been more jealous of another living being.

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“WHAT?!” That is what you are saying right now, because you are confused as to why we are talking about “Marco Rubio” and his “delegates” since he unceremoniously dropped out of the 2016 race, after failing so hard he lost his own state like a giant loser. But Rubio loves the minuscule number of delegates he

Girls what’s my weakness? MEN (named John Cena on the Today show)!

By now my complete and total love of John Cena on Today is no secret. Where WWE TV-Cena leaves me rolling my eyes and waiting for his segments to end, Today-John Cena fills my heart with a weird joy that lost any hint of irony long ago. Whether it’s watching two wine-drunk older ladies rehydrate their shriveled ovaries over him first thing in the morning on national television, or the sight of his big-ass hands cradling tiny adorable animals, the morning show version of John Cena is the second best version of John Cena that exists. The first is Make-A-Wish-John Cena, for you folks at home keeping track with their your important Cena ranking system.

Though this is the first time in 12 years Cena won’t be competing at WrestleMania, he’s still loyally and respectfully hustling on the New York talk show show circuit. Last night he hit up Jimmy Fallon for a game of Sticky Balls before returning to TODAY for a second day in a row.

Does Cena dancing to Salt n’ Pepa’s ‘Push It’ make any sense? No. Does it have anything to do with pro wrestling? Naw. Is John Cena a better dancer than he is kisser? Ehhhhh, debatable. Will I watch this video a dozen more times after I publish this post? You’re goddamn right I will.

Photo via Flickr user Matt Johnson

While being taped for an MSNBC town hall set to air Wednesday evening, Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump told host Chris Matthews "we have to ban" abortion. That isn't exactly shocking given where the reality TV star's party stands on the issue, and his many claims to being "pro-life." Conservative champions from Ronald Reagan to George W. Bush have worn their fervent opposition to abortion rights on their sleeves. But GOP orthodoxy has always called for the ban on the procedure to legally impact doctors—not patients.

In case you haven't been paying attention, Donald Trump is not most Republicans.

When pressed by Matthews about the nuts and bolts of banning abortion and how he would enforce it, Trump eventually conceded that when it comes to women who get the procedure, "the answer is that there has to be some form of punishment, yeah."

The internet quickly went apeshit over the remark, with Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton jumping at the opportunity to strike a contrast:

It's hard to say if this is just another example of Trump saying the first thing that pops into his head and rolling with it. But unlike most of them, this offering was quickly followed by a campaign statement attempting, and failing, to clarify.

"If Congress were to pass legislation making abortion illegal and the federal courts upheld this legislation, or any state were permitted to ban abortion under state and federal law, the doctor or any other person performing this illegal act upon a woman would be held legally responsible, not the woman," the statement said. "The woman is a victim in this case as is the life in her womb. My position has not changed—like Ronald Reagan, I am pro-life with exceptions."

The problem for Trump is that he's getting closer and closer to a general election where women—and especially single women—comprise a potent voting block. Those voters are already disinclined to support Trump, and walking back an explosive statement like this one doesn't prevent Clinton or whoever the Democrats nominate from using it in a TV spot.

"Look, you know—I think probably Donald Trump will figure out a way to say that he didn't say it, or he was misquoted or whatever, but I don't think so," GOP also-ran John Kasich said Wednesday. "I don't think that's an appropriate response, and it's a difficult enough situation then to try to punish somebody."

Taco Bell's Bacon Breakfast Soft Taco features crumbled bacon, scrambled eggs, and shredded cheese folded in a soft flour tortilla.

It's part of their breakfast value menu at $1.

The Bacon Breakfast Soft Taco is basically Taco Bell's round up of the most common fast food breakfast staples folded in a tortilla. It's like Taco Bell's safe mainstream version of a bacon, egg, and cheese English muffin or biscuit. Only it's smaller and cheaper than most.

There's a well-distributed combination so of slightly chewy, smoky bacon bits, decently fluffy eggs, and melted cheese. The tortilla doesn't add much but it doesn't take anything away either (i.e. it doesn't overly mute any of the other components).

Overall, Taco Bell's Bacon Breakfast Soft Taco is pretty standard but it's enjoyable enough. If you're looking for a bit more "Mexican-inspired" elements, you might try asking them to add some beans, rice, or pico de gallo as well as some hot sauce.

If you're looking for the A.M. Griller, the Breakfast Soft Taco replaced it but you can still just ask to have it pressed/grilled for the same effect.

Nutritional Info - Taco Bell Bacon Breakfast Soft Taco
Calories - 240 (from Fat - 130)
Fat - 14g (Saturated Fat - 5g)
Sodium - 580mg
Carbs - 15g (Sugars - 1g)
Protein - 11g

When I first completed my recipe for falafel, my first thought was "That's great—now how do we make it hotter?" That thought was immediately followed by some digging through the refrigerator for condiments, mixing them into batches of my raw falafel dough to see how they'd taste. I settled on harissa, the North African spice paste. Read More

There is a lot more to being a private investigator than just sitting in a car with a long camera lens. Many investigators work with companies to conduct thorough background and legal investigations, often before large business transactions. Searching for the Maltese Falcon they aren’t.

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"Raven is hoping to change it one shirt at a time." [ more › ]

Not since 1930 have things looked so good for the Chicago Transit Authority’s rail lines. [ more › ]

This Yemenite sauce is fresh and bright from herbs, while also having an intensely spicy kick to it. It's the ideal accompaniment for falafel or sabich sandwiches, but it also goes great with a variety of grilled vegetables, fish, meat, and eggs. And it should last a few weeks in the fridge (though I've never had a jar linger long enough to actually find out). Read More

Burger King swaps in the new Extra Long Philly Cheeseburger into their Extra Long Cheeseburger turnstile.

Available for a limited time, the new burger features two flame-grilled beef patties, American cheese, fried onions, and a "creamy cheesy sauce" on a toasted hoagie-style bun. The chain offered something similar but with a long chicken patty in the past.

Like previous limited-time variations on the Extra Long Cheeseburger, the Extra Long Philly Cheeseburger has been added to the chain's 2 for $5 Mix & Match deal, which also includes the original Extra Long Cheeseburger, the Big King, the Original Chicken Sandwich, and the Extra Long Fish Sandwich in its current selection.

Photo via Burger King.

Nutritional Info - Burger King Extra Long Philly Cheeseburger (232g)
Calories - 520 (from Fat - 230)
Fat - 26g (Saturated Fat - 12g)
Sodium - 1020mg
Carbs - 46g (Sugars - 8g)
Protein - 28g

We live in scary times: sharia law, foreigners, and rape gangs haunt the streets of this once great nation. Some old people believe that they must arm themselves in order to find peace and safety.

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Larry Dawson allegedly pulled a gun at the U.S. Capitol's visitors center and was shot by police before being captured after the building was placed on lockdown.

Emma Watson booked her deal with Lancôme in 2011, and the most recent dated ad I found featuring her face was from 2013. Hard to say how old the picture above is, or how aware Watson was of how her image would be used, but there it is selling a skin-lightening product.

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Here’s Finn as a lady. She looks pretty awesome.

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Jalopnik What’s The Worst Forum Shitstorm You’ve Ever Seen? | Lifehacker The Evolution of Anxiety: Why We Worry and What to Do About It | io9 What Is the Deal With Superman In DC Comics’ Rebirth? | Kotaku Japan’s Problem with Tattoos |

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Easter is not traditionally the time for gifts, but this year, the Easter gods are shining down on us all. Our gift: A stunning story out of Connecticut, where an annual Easter 10,000-egg hunt devolved into chaos after pushy parents rushed the field.

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There’s nothing worse than a room-temperature bottle of white wine you want to drink right away. It needs to be chilled—at least slightly. Thing is, not everyone has a wine cellar or fridge, and most more creative scenarios take too long to bring the bottle down to its optimal temperature.