Patrick Kennedy

Applying a cat filter to a politician is an egregious act. Everyone knows politicians require clown filters.

So this happened today when PTI's SM team forgot to turn off the cat filter while live streaming a press conference on Facebook. @SAYousafzaiPTI looks kinda cute pic.twitter.com/IjjJrua7DL

— Ahsan Hamid Durrani (@Ahsan_H_Durrani) June 14, 2019

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Here is a delightful story about psychedelics to ease you into the long weekend.

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“This is a nutcase who is addicted to fucking with the trains.”

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Watching this video is the closest thing to shrooms I've yet experienced online. Not so much in the content, but rather the way hallucinatory changes to reality outpace your conscious awareness of them by uncanny moments.

(It's a Bill Hader impression of Arnie where they deepfake him to look like Arnie in precise proportion to the waxing and waning effort put into the impression)

Remember trials rider Danny MacAskill, who I’ve been covering on kottke.org for over ten years somehow?! In his newest video, he turns babysitting a friend’s young daughter into a death-defying cycling adventure…an oddly tender death-defying cycling adventure somehow.

Stay tuned after the main action for a short making-of feature (no children were harmed, etc. etc.) in which we see Daisy riding a bike of her own!

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Fubon Guardians infielder Lin Yi-Chuan believed that a two-run lead in the bottom of the first was not going to be enough in his team’s Chinese Professional Baseball League game against the Uni-President Lions. So, when his teammate clonked a base hit into left field, he started running hard from second base with home…

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The Toronto Raptors and Philadelphia 76ers just got done with a ragged and at times infuriating Game 7 to end the Eastern Conference semi-finals. The Raptors won the game, 92-90, thanks to this buzzer-beater from Kawhi Leonard. Hooooooooly shit, wait until you see this shot:

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After police have proven unable to dissuade drug dealers from congregating in Berlin's Görlitzer Park, the manager of the park spray painted pink lines around designated areas for them to hang out and hawk their wares. The hope is that the dealers will no longer intimidate visitors throughout the park. From The Guardian:

“This method has purely practical reasoning behind it,” (park manager Cengiz) Demirci told local radio station RBB. “It’s not that we’re legalising the selling of drugs.”

Demirci said a much more effective solution would be if authorities gave the dealers work permits. The majority of them are asylum seekers who are not allowed to work while waiting for their claims to be processed. He added: “If they did that then 90% of them would stop what they’re doing immediately.”

Police chiefs criticised the move. “What is needed to ensure that the park is drug and crime free, is a constant police presence and judicial resolve,” Benjamin Jendro from the Berlin branch of the police trade union GdP told Bild...

The sharpest remarks came from Germany’s national anti-drugs tsar, Marlene Mortler, of the conservative Christian Social Union, who told the Funke Mediengruppe: “If this is true then it marks the capitulation of our constitutional state. We should not be issuing the dealers with a licence to deal.”

This morning's news reported that Denver's ballot measure to decriminalize psychedelic mushrooms had failed, but now that all the ballots have been fully counted we've learned that the Sunnies outvoted the Sadsters 51% to 49%.

From Forbes:

Its provisions prohibit the city government from using any resources to impose criminal penalties against adults over 21 years of age for personal use and possession of psilocybin, the active ingredient in so-called "magic mushrooms."

Initiative 301 also specifies that going after people for the mushrooms is the city's “lowest law enforcement priority” and establishes a review panel to assess and report on the effects of the change by early 2021.

The Denver measure doesn't trump federal law, however. Psilocybin and psilocin are on Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act and federal law states that "person convicted of illegally possessing any controlled substance face penalties of up to 1 year in prison and a minimum fine of $1,000, or both."

Juice Media's Honest Government Adverts are some of the best, most biting political satire being produced today -- they're so good at afflicting the comfortable that Australia basically banned their style of humour -- and now, on the eve of (yet another) critical Australian election, they've produced a "season finale" that recaps the parade of horrors that a succession of bumbling, oligarchic, racist, climate-denying, torturing, confiscatory, planet-destroying Australian governments have bequeathed to the nation and the world. I laughed, I cried, I laughed again. Now I'm crying.

Liverpool have shocked the world. Heading back to Anfield after losing a dispiriting 3-0 first leg in Barcelona, Liverpool needed something resembling a miracle to reach their second straight Champions League final. And they found one, somehow, winning 4-0 at home and booting Barcelona out of the competition in the…

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On May 8, Gig Workers Rising is organizing a nationwide shutdown of Uber, with drivers turning off their apps in protest over low pay: so far, seven cities' drivers are signed up: Philadelphia, Chicago, San Francisco, San Diego, Minneapolis, LA and DC. Uber and Lyft have both slashed pay for drivers and raised prices as they try to assuage the capital markets.

Matt Carthy is a Sinn Fein MEP from Eire; he's standing for re-election in the upcoming EU elections and has had fliers prepared with his headshot.

Carthy says that he noticed that his laptop battery seemed to be draining of its own accord. He solved the mystery when he realized "the kids have been using my election leaflets to get through the facial recognition lock..."

So, I was wondering why the battery on my laptop was running down every time I left it at home.
Turns out the kids have been using my election leaflets to get through the facial recognition lock...
I’m not sure whether to be proud by the wit or concerned by the sneakiness? pic.twitter.com/rtDsuNRB8B

— Matt Carthy MEP (@mattcarthy) April 23, 2019

The most electric Titan of all time officially retires.

After ten seasons in the league, Chris Johnson is officially hanging it up. That announcement was made in November, but today, Johnson will retire as a member of the Titans.

Johnson ended his Tennessee career in 2013 as the franchise’s third leading rusher, trailing only Eddie George and Earl Campbell. His electrifying speed became the identity of the team during his time in Nashville.

His time as a Titan was highlighted by that special 2009 season, in which Johnson ran for over 2,000 yards. He ran for 2,006 to be exact, racking up an NFL record 2,509 yards from scrimmage.

Johnson finished his career with 9,651 yards rushing and 55 touchdowns. His additional 2,255 yards receiving put him at 11,906 yards from scrimmage for his career.

Johnson left the team in 2013 after averaging just 3.9 yards per carry. He moved on to the Jets in 2014, then the Cardinals in 2015. He appeared in four games in each of the 2016 and 2017 seasons for Arizona, before announcing his retirement in November of 2018.

He will go down as the most electrifying Titan to date, giving us highlight reel after highlight reel during that incredible stretch of play from 2008-2010.

Northeastern grocery chain Stop & Shop has been goosing its profits at its workers' expense, increasing their healthcare costs, reducing company pension contributions, and reducing holiday and Sunday overtime pay; the United Food & Commercial Workers, who organize the Stop & Shop employees called for a strike nearly two weeks ago, and since then, 31,000 workers from 240 stores in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island have been off the job.

A surveillance capitalism company called Skyhook -- which conducts involuntary covert surveillance of huge numbers of Americans by tracking their mobile devices, allowing the company to build complex dossiers of the public's movements over time -- has released a report detailing the drop in foot traffic from people who are "loyal customers" of Stop & Shop (Skyhook describes the data it analyzed as "anonymized").

Skyhook found that the number of visits from "loyal customers" declined by 75% after the strike began, while foot traffic overall dropped by 50%. It found that these "loyal customers" switched to buying their groceries at rivals Hannafords (up 300%), Market Basket (up 115%), Trader Joe's (up 75%), Shaws and Star Market (up 50%).

The Boston Globe quotes unspecified "analysts" who say that once grocery customers switch to a rival, about 60% of them will never return.

For its Stop & Shop analysis, Skyhook identified 840 customers in the strike-affected region who visit the grocery chain at least once a week, using location data from the 100 million mobile devices it has access to through software running in apps on those phones. This data, authorized by users, leaves “bread crumb trails” showing where people have been, Bairstow said.

Skyhook also has a database of venue locations, including grocery stores, and can track how often people visit.

What Impact Has the Stop & Shop Strike Had on Other New England Grocery Stores? [Skyhook]

Visits by loyal Stop & Shop customers decline 75% during strike [Katie Johnston/The Boston Globe]

(Image: @Stopdontshop)

(via Super Punch)

Baseball is perhaps the only sport where an act of self-preservation can lead to some really cool shit. Astros pitcher Collin McHugh became the latest example of this phenomenon on Tuesday against the Athletics.

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Joining Carl’s Jr. and White Castle, Burger King is adding a tastes-like-beef veggie burger to their menu.

This week, Burger King is introducing a version of its iconic Whopper sandwich filled with a vegetarian patty from the start-up Impossible Foods.

The Impossible Whopper, as it will be known, is the biggest validation — and expansion opportunity — for a young industry that is looking to mimic and replace meat with plant-based alternatives.

The roll-out will start in the chain’s St. Louis restaurants and then proceed nationwide if all goes well. Here’s a commercial in which hardcore BK fans can’t tell the Impossible Whopper from their beloved beef version:

As an increasingly conflicted omnivore, I would be perfectly happy if all low- to mid-end burgers were replaced by veggie clones — I don’t care that the Quarter Pounder I eat once every three months is beef…I just want it to taste like a Quarter Pounder — and then high-end burgers (the ones where you can tell the difference and you eat only rarely) were made from humanely raised beef for which consumers pay an appropriate price that accurately reflects the true-cost accounting of their production. A meat burger that costs a dollar is just being paid for in other ways by someone or something else.

A fire at Paris’ Notre Dame cathedral was reportedly started by accident, and is related to ongoing work, according to France 2 News which cites police. The Paris bureau chief for Reuters said the news “is terrible and a hideous blow to the symbolic heart of the city.”

MORE: Spire of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris has collapsed https://t.co/mgO4CkDAwb pic.twitter.com/TPTs30FjZT

— Reuters Top News (@Reuters) April 15, 2019

The entire structure is involved. The spire has collapsed.

This is the worst day for France since June 14, 1940.

Patrick Galey of Agence-France Presse shot photos and video from Paris, and they're below.

Police just evacuated the Île but that spire is lost #NotreDame pic.twitter.com/rd0g8SuSBo

— Patrick Galey (@patrickgaley) April 15, 2019

#NotreDame right now. I feel sick pic.twitter.com/UFqsSrtwGu

— Patrick Galey (@patrickgaley) April 15, 2019

#NotreDame is on fire pic.twitter.com/8n6DaEEyGv

— James McAuley (@jameskmcauley) April 15, 2019

PARIS: Here's a closer view of the #NotreDame fire pic.twitter.com/JkQk2I9pHF

— TicToc by Bloomberg (@tictoc) April 15, 2019

Reuters:

A fire broke out at Notre Dame Cathedral in central Paris on Monday afternoon, a spokesman from the fire department said.

Smoke could be seen billowing out from the top of the medieval cathedral, as flames lept out besides its two bell towers, a Reuters witness said.

A major operation was under way, the fire department added, while a city hall spokesman said on Twitter that the area was being cleared.

Horrifying footage of Notre Dame cathedral on fire from @Reuters pic.twitter.com/2TOHXize1Q

— Luke Baker (@BakerLuke) April 15, 2019

Fire at Paris’ Notre Dame cathedral was started by accident and is related to ongoing work, according to France 2, citing police. Either way it is terrible and a hideous blow to the symbolic heart of the city

— Luke Baker (@BakerLuke) April 15, 2019

To be clear — no evidence the fire at Notre Dame was set on purpose as some sort of attack. However, it is the case that several Catholic churches have been attacked, including set on fire, across France recent months https://t.co/P79XlaBYWu

— Luke Baker (@BakerLuke) April 15, 2019

Just now from friend in Paris. #NotreDame pic.twitter.com/iJ3bRI0WRH

— Jason Rezaian (@jrezaian) April 15, 2019

Can see the smoke from my neighborhood. Heartbreaking. Hope everyone is safe #NotreDame pic.twitter.com/3agKff376r

— Lindsey Tramuta (@LostNCheeseland) April 15, 2019

Patagonia's iconic "power vest" is a favorite for co-branded company swag, but the company has quietly enacted a new policy that shuts out h oil, drilling, dam construction, etc. companies" as well as some "financial institutions" on the grounds that they are "environmentally damaging."

Instead, the company is partnering with mission-oriented B-corps, and companies engaged in "outdoor sports that are relevant to the gear we design, regenerative organic farming, and environmental activism."

Patagonia has become explicitly political in the years since the Trump election, backing an organization whose mission is to defend public lands with the fervor of the NRA. The company has always advocated for democratic fundamentals, giving employees the day off on election days.

Kim, president of the communications agency Vested (the reference is to the finance term, not the sleeveless layer), attempted to place an order for a client, something her firm had done in the past through a reseller for Patagonia’s corporate sales.

But she got back a rejection email from the reseller saying, “Patagonia has nothing against your client or the finance industry, it’s just not an area they are currently marketing through our co-brand division. While they have co-branded here in the past, the brand is really focused right now on only co-branding with a small collection of like-minded and brand aligned areas; outdoor sports that are relevant to the gear we design, regenerative organic farming, and environmental activism.” Patagonia, the person said, is “reluctant to co-brand with oil, drilling, dam construction, etc. companies that they view to be ecologically damaging” and while orders are approved on a case-by-case basis, this includes “financial institutions.”

Patagonia Is Refusing To Sell Its Iconic Power Vests To Some Financial Firms [Katie Notopoulos/Buzzfeed]

(via Super Punch)

A report from Bitwise -- an investment firm lobbying for FEC approval for a cryptocurrency based exchange-traded fund -- found that 95% of the trading volume in Bitcoin was fake, ginned up through techniques like "wash trading" where a person buys and sells an asset at the same time.

The report analyzed 81 exchanges and concluded that the fake traffic was being generated by 71 of them, in order to lure in lucrative "initial coin offerings" and the associated fees, which can run to millions of (fiat) dollars.

Bitwise's hope is that by demonstrating to regulators that there is $273m/day worth of real trades lost in the torrent of $6b/day worth of fakes, that there was the need for a regulated, high-quality product that could assure investors that they were not being defrauded.

Note that while the study has been reported on by the Wall Street Journal and MIT Technology Review, it does not seem to be available on Bitwise's site, and I was unable to review its methodology.

There are at least a two important takeaways here. First, the real Bitcoin trading market is an order of magnitude smaller than is broadly reported. If you are eager to see mainstream adoption, perhaps that’s disappointing. On the flipside, however, if zeroing in on the exchanges operating honestly can move the needle with regulators and finally get an ETF approved, this bleak analysis might help spur the kind of adoption you’re hoping for.

#134: Fake Bitcoin trading [Mike Orcutt/Chain Letter]

(via Beyond the Beyond)

(Image: Bitcoin.it, CC-BY-SA)

Real wasabi, Wasabia japonica, is apparently one of the most expensive vegetables to grow. That green stuff you're eating? Ground horseradish, Chinese mustard, and, you guessed it, green food coloring. Yum.

According to The Atlantic, "Worldwide, experts believe that this imposter combination masquerades as wasabi about 99% of the time."

Above, meet Shigeo Iida, 75, whose family has grown real wasabi for eight generations.

(via NextDraft)

image: HK 北角 North Point 和田 Wada Japanese Restaurant 放題 Buffet dinner 山葵 green Wasabi Mar-2013

Yesterday, a swarm of cute puppers sniffed out the partial lineup for this year’s Lollapalooza, a music festival that’s more or less abandoned its indie rock roots to become one of the country’s preeminent destinations for Top 40 pop and hip-hop. Yesterday’s reveal promised sets from Janelle Monáe, Lil Wayne, Gunna,…

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English is a dragon of a language, dozing atop an enormous mountain of phonemes. What if they were all melted down and minted into something more consistent? And then we tried to speak it? The results sound a bit like a Welsh accent. [YouTube]

Dog: Prepare for my sneak attack.
Baby:

Brutal sneak attack caught on video by IMGURian OctopussSevenTwo, with extra cuteness points for the presence of pigtails!

"Sneak attack!"

Mario Balotelli is currently in the midst of one of the upswings of his notoriously yo-yoing career, which is good for all lovers of fun and hijinks. Yesterday, in just his sixth match with Marseille since fleeing there in January from the personal doghouse he’d been confined to at Nice (again, the yo-yoing), Balo…

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Police in Jordan, Minnesota, rushed to the scene after locals reported a "deranged person" standing motionless in the cold, hugging a pillow. It was in fact a cardboard advertising cutout of Mike Lindell, the CEO of MyPillow.

“Those cardboard cutouts sure can look real from a distance and the caller certainly was not wanting to get too close thinking who is this deranged person standing outside in the cold hugging a pillow,” the Jordan Police Department shared in a Facebook post. “Always better to call the police.”

Liubou Charkashyna, the president of the International Gymnastics Federation’s athletes’ commission—which was created to represent gymnasts’ interests—used a recent interview with Belarussian media to express skepticism about the frequency of abuse in sports and victims’ motives.

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