Rexfeng

Los Santos looks even more realistic—and chaotic—when it's going by very quickly.

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Respawn plans to improve its "update tempo" for future improvements to Titanfall, upping the frequency of announcements related to updates as well as the patches themselves. Game Director Steve Fukuda broke down the developer's update plans in a...

If Aaron Sorkin (Sports Night, The West Wing, The Newsroom) wrote a TV show featuring McDonald's as a workplace, it might go something like this:

Top notch parody right there...you've got the fast dialogue, the walk-and-talks, and the patented Sorkin sermonizing.

Tags: Aaron Sorkin   video

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Wait, what? A few things. Why does this exist and why didn't this already exist? Regardless of the answers to these pressing questions, Call of Duty: Ghosts now officially has the best announcer in all of first-person shooters.

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The filmmakers behind Fast & Furious 7 are turning to the brothers of the late Paul Walker to help complete the action sequel. In a Facebook post today, the production revealed that Cody and Caleb Walker have joined the film to help fill in "some remaining action" and "small gaps" that were left in the wake of the actor's death. "We came together and all felt the only choice was to continue," the statement reads. "Paul had already shot his dramatic scenes and most of his action for Fast & Furious 7, and it's among the strongest work of his career."

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Dave Shumka:

Ever since I made this video of David Letterman talking to drummers, I’ve wondered if he’s actually seen it. I recently asked one of his writers, Bill Scheft, on Twitter. According to Scheft, not only has Letterman watched it, but “he loved it as he loved few things.” I realize that it just seems like I’m bragging on the internet, but that’s about the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.

With all the news surrounding Letterman’s retirement, it feels like a fine time to revisit the video.

That's not a Cronut.

Last year was a rough one for the venerated Great American Frosted Cupcake, what with various indicators of industry turmoil and the improbable ascent of Dominique Ansel's Cronut. Businessweek reports that the 11-year-old Crumbs Bake Shop chain, which has shuttered 17 of its stores since 2013, is now trying to reinvigorate itself by licensing its brand to outside bakeries and placing its products on supermarket shelves, including big-box retailer BJ's Wholesale Club. "I don’t know that cupcakes by themselves are a big enough classification to run a substantial business on," says new CEO Ed Slezak, who also says that the company's copycat pastry is "the last great thing that we put out there." [Businessweek]

Read more posts by Hugh Merwin

Filed Under: all that crumbles, cronuts, crumbnuts, crumbs bake shop, dominique ansel

Not all politicians hold a grudge against video games. Last Sunday, a number of Swedish politicians participated in a StarCraft II tournament called Politikerstarcraft. Creator Jonathan Rieder Lundkvist told The Daily Dot the objective of the event was to "increase awareness of e-sports in politics, and of politics among gamers." Interestingly, Lundkvist made it a point to pit representatives with opposing ideologies against one another in the first round. This was the second Politikerstarcraft tournament held. The first was organized in 2010 in tandem with the Swedish elections.

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It's been a few weeks since I wrote about Glitchspace , but I just got my hands on an early build of the game. It is a very different first-person experience.

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Today is the last day you can pay $30 to have a stock image of a guy in a blazer tell you how much money you owe the federal and state governments. If you haven't already used TurboTax, you might want to reconsider, given that their parent company is part of a corporate conspiracy to ensure that you'll be forever trading what measly refund you get for the privilege of using their service, which the IRS could potentially offer you for free. [ more › ]

Ina Fried, reporting for Recode on the ongoing Apple-Samsung court case, “Top Android Executive Says Google Didn’t Copy Apple’s iPhone”:

Lockheimer testified that Android, too, was the product of long hours and hard work.

“The hours were pretty grueling,” Lockheimer said, speaking of the early days of Android as the operating system was being developed in 2006 and 2007. “They continue to be grueling, by the way. … We work really hard.”

Later in the article:

One thing that was not initially contemplated for the first Android device — at least initially — was any sort of touchscreen.

Weird use of initially in that sentence. As shown below, touchscreens probably were “contemplated” for the first Android devices (they expressly mentioned the potential to support them eventually) but they were explicitly rejected in the specification for Android 1.0.

“Touchscreens will not be supported,” Google said in a 2006 specification for Android devices. “The product was designed with the presence of discrete physical buttons as an assumption. However, there is nothing fundamental in the products [sic] architecture that prevents the support of touch screens [sic] in the future.”

Obviously, Google later changed course and a touchscreen became mandatory. Lockheimer said the vision evolved as the company learned what it heard screen manufacturers tell it what was coming down the pipeline.

This testimony defies credulity. Consider the timeline. As Daniel Dilger documents in a report today for AppleInsider looking at Android design documents entered as evidence in the trial, in August 2006, the draft Android 1.0 design document mandated up/down/left/right/select hardware buttons and explicitly stated that touchscreens would not be supported. Then, the very next revision of the specification, in April 2007 — a draft described as a “major update” — multitouch touchscreens became mandatory. In August 2006 Android was planned as a BlackBerry/Windows Mobile style hardware-button platform with no initial support for touchscreens. In April 2007 it became a platform where multitouch touchscreens were mandatory. The only way one could believe that this change was driven by what Google heard from screen manufacturers is if what the screen manufacturers told Google was, “Holy shit, what are we going to do about the iPhone?”

---

But what caught my attention is the “hard work” angle in Lockheimer’s testimony. Long hours of hard work don’t disprove that Android copied the iPhone. In fact, copying the iPhone would imply more work. They effectively designed the Android platform twice: first as a BlackBerry/Windows Mobile style hardware button platform, and then as an iPhone-style touchscreen platform.

The word copying is pejorative, so let’s just call it following. Of course Android followed the iPhone’s lead. But what else was Google to do? It took genius to conceive and create the original iPhone. But once it was revealed — and especially once it hit the market — anyone with a lick of sense could see that this was how all such devices should work. If Google had stuck to its original design for Android, it wouldn’t have succeeded in a post-iPhone world — it would have been Windows Mobile without the existing market share.

The first successful implementation of a radical idea is usually and correctly lauded as the innovator. The second is derided as an imitator. But by the time you get to the third and fourth, the idea becomes a category.

It was inevitable that competitors would follow the iPhone’s lead, and it was inevitable that Apple would feel wronged when it happened. What I wonder about is whether it was inevitable that Apple would sue. Are they pursuing Samsung in court because Samsung is so clearly their most successful rival in the handset industry, or is it because Samsung so clearly copied — not merely followed but gratuitously copied — so much from Apple? I suspect it’s both — that it was the combination of Samsung’s blatant copying and mimicry of the iPhone’s trade dress, combined with their success, that has compelled Apple to fight them tooth-and-nail in court.¹

I suspect Apple’s goal is not so much about procuring redress for Samsung’s past actions, but rather to send a message. I doubt Apple will be awarded enough money from this Samsung lawsuit to have made the effort worthwhile directly. But indirectly, if the message gets through to competitors that Apple is willing to pursue lawsuits like this with a seemingly irrational fervor, and it makes them (the competitors) gun-shy to copy future Apple products, to follow Apple too closely — it may not be so irrational after all.²

The US Navy is working on technology to convert seawater into fuel to power unmodified combustion engines. They recently tested the fuel (successfully!) in a replica P-51 and hope to make it commerically viable.

Navy researchers at the U.S. Naval Research Laboratory (NRL), Materials Science and Technology Division, demonstrated proof-of-concept of novel NRL technologies developed for the recovery of carbon dioxide (CO2) and hydrogen (H2) from seawater and conversion to a liquid hydrocarbon fuel.

Fueled by a liquid hydrocarbon -- a component of NRL's novel gas-to-liquid (GTL) process that uses CO2 and H2 as feedstock -- the research team demonstrated sustained flight of a radio-controlled (RC) P-51 replica of the legendary Red Tail Squadron, powered by an off-the-shelf (OTS) and unmodified two-stroke internal combustion engine.

Using an innovative and proprietary NRL electrolytic cation exchange module (E-CEM), both dissolved and bound CO2 are removed from seawater at 92 percent efficiency by re-equilibrating carbonate and bicarbonate to CO2 and simultaneously producing H2. The gases are then converted to liquid hydrocarbons by a metal catalyst in a reactor system.

"In close collaboration with the Office of Naval Research P38 Naval Reserve program, NRL has developed a game-changing technology for extracting, simultaneously, CO2 and H2 from seawater," said Dr. Heather Willauer, NRL research chemist. "This is the first time technology of this nature has been demonstrated with the potential for transition, from the laboratory, to full-scale commercial implementation."

Discover has more, in slightly more accessible language.

Tags: physics   science   US Navy   water

All it took for flesh-eating bacteria to go from harmless organisms to gruesome infectious pathogens was four mutations and about 35 years. That's what an international group of researchers announced today in a study that outside experts are calling the largest bacterial genome paper ever published.

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This is happening.

Bakersfield, California, Taco Bell outlets are right now test-marketing a new menu item called Quesadilla Double Dippers, which seem to exist just to prove that the chain is deeply committed to its recently announced corporate partnership that aims to Doritofy and Mountain Dewify just about everything on Earth. This time around, however, the chips aren't getting dipped: The Flamin’ Hot Fritos are the dip.

These miniature flour-tortilla-triangle-quesadilla thingies are already stuffed — or stuft, in Bell-speak — with ingredients like beef and cheese, all of which is to say they're essentially just a vessel for the two-part sauce: Nacho cheese in one cup, and in the other, Flamin' Hot Fritos crushed into tiny pieces, just like the resistance. The idea is you take your tortilla wedge, dip it into cheese, and jab that into the Frito bits. It costs $1, which is at least probably less expensive than the Dorito-stuffed, nacho-cheese-rolled, Hot Fritos-crusted Volcano Burrito the chain is most likely going to roll out next.

News: Taco Bell Testing Flamin' Hot Fritos Nachos Dip [Brand Eating]
Earlier: The Doritofied Future of Chain Restaurants Begins Now
Earlier: Soon All of Our Food Will Be Doritos Flavored, Whether We Like It or Not

Read more posts by Clint Rainey

Filed Under: doritofied, doritos, doritos flamas locos, doritos locos tacos, flamin' hot cheetos, frito-lay, mountain dew, pepsi, quesadilla double dippers, taco bell, the chain gang

Instead of calling in your Titan just as the match is ending to unload on the enemy dropship, what if you saved your Titan? Just for a bit longer?

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Mystery meat indeed.

Chicago writer Monica Eng, who's investigated that city's public-school system's lunch program for some time, recently filed a FOIA request in order to obtain a detailed ingredient list of the offerings, which was met with a hilariously terse response. She's now received a more comprehensive report: It turns out those food-service chicken nuggets contain at least 28 ingredients — including soy protein and maltodextrin — a figure that doesn't even take the "breading" into account. In fact, all of the selections billed as "chicken," which Eng has taken to calling "food-like nubbins," are composed of "dozens of ingredients." Alice Waters, however, as usual isn't surprised by the broader, thoroughly dismal state of the school-food business. “The schools have really been hijacked by the companies who are benefitting when children are fed and digest the values of fast food,” she says. [NPR, WBEZ, Related]

Read more posts by Hugh Merwin

Filed Under: hot lunch, 26 ingredient burger, 28-ingredient nugget, chicago, lunch ladies

Thanks to his vacuum cleaners, famed designer James Dyson is already helping to keep homes clean all over the world — now he wants to do the same for the Earth's water. Dyson has detailed a concept he's tinkering with called the M.V. Recyclone barge, which uses a similar suction system as his vacuums, but would use it to suck up plastic and other debris floating on the water's surface.

The floating barge first captures the trash in a large net, before it's then sucked inside and processed and separated by type of plastic. It's just a concept right now, but Dyson is hopeful that it could be turned into a useful tool for keeping waters clean. It may not be designed for oceans, but by sifting through rivers it could help reduce the...

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We don't have a $25 cheese-stuffed corn dog but the Yankees are selling something equally expensive, caloric and incredible. Behold the Nacho Helmet, a behemoth portion of chips and florescent "cheese" served inside a plastic bowl shaped like a batter's helmet. This concoction—which can also be enjoyed with seasoned ground beef, jalapenos, salsa and guacamole—costs $20. God bless America. [ more › ]

The shutdown, which began Saturday and is part of a reconstruction project, will affect roughly 40,000 vehicles daily in and around Jersey City and Newark, disrupting a key link to New York City.

Netflix customers on Comcast are already seeing the benefits of a controversial pact between the streaming service and cable provider. Comcast jumped five spots in Netflix's ranking of ISP performance for the month of March. It now sits in fifth place, delivering an average streaming speed of 2.5Mbps — up from the 11th place spot it held in February, when Comcast delivered a pitiful 1.15Mbps average to Netflix subscribers.

"This month’s rankings are a great illustration of how performance can improve when ISPs work to connect directly to Netflix," said Netflix. It's also a great illustration of what happens when Netflix pays off cable providers to speed things up: Comcast now charts above Verizon FiOS and even Time Warner Cable,...

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From Sweets

[Photographs: Robyn Lee]

Macaroons in New York City are arguably as celebrated and as critiqued as the classic dollar pizza slice. They come in all shapes and sizes; some made with coconut, some with nuts, some formed into sandwiches with cream fillings. As Passover approached, we set out to find New York's best coconut macaroons—the dense, chewy mounds of coconut that are most popular when flour and other leavening agents go out of season.

We traversed Manhattan and Brooklyn popping in and out of old-school Jewish and artisanal bakeries alike, and by the time we were (really) tired of coconut, we were offered almond and pistachio coconut-free Passover macaroons in Sheepshead Bay. There, in a friendly Sephardic bakery and chocolate shop called Mansoura Pastries, we asked, why are some Passover macaroons, like the almond-paste varieties, missing coconut?

Syrian and Egyptian Jews, we were told, make macaroons in the Italian-style, with almonds. In fact, the macaroon's Italian etymological root, ammacarre, meaning to crush, refers to the making of almond paste. The first Italian macaroons were like amaretti cookies, made of ground almonds, egg whites, and sugar. Before long, Italian Jews upheld them as the ultimate Passover treat.

It wasn't until the19th century, when coconut from India first became available, that bakers replaced the almond paste with coconut. The idea caught on, and suddenly, macaroons were more shelf-stable and structurally-sound than ever before. By 1930, Manishevitz and Streit's, America's most well-known matzo manufacturers, were selling coconut macaroons in tins, and America's best-selling variety was born. Coconut or nut-based, out of the tin or freshly baked, mounds or piped, macaroons of all kinds are the right kind of dessert for a holiday that celebrates good questions and good food.

To note: Our pre-Passover search missed a few bakeries that bake macaroons exclusively during Passover, including these kosher favorites: By the Way Bakery and My Most Favorite Food.

Orwasher's

Varieties: coconut, chocolate-dipped, vanilla-cherry
Price: ~$1.75 each

Orwasher's, the almost 100 year old bakery on the Upper East Side, does a fine job of taking classic baked goods and making them a little better and a little more modern.

Pros: The best quality of these two-bite macaroons was the distinctive toasted exterior that gives way to a smooth interior of finely-shredded coconut. The actual coconut flavor really popped, and the vanilla-dried cherry combination was a welcomed mash-up.

Cons: Quite expensive for their size, these are better as an occasional treat than a party feature.

308 E 78th St #1, New York, NY; orwashers.com

One Lucky Duck

Varieties: blonde, chocolate
Price: $13.50/bag

We knew we'd find something different at this raw, organic, vegan juice and snack bar.

Pros: It's clear a lot of thought went into these artisan macaroons—for being raw, they're really good. The vanilla flavor popped in the blonde variety, and we liked that agave was the only form of sugar used.

Cons: The rawness of these macaroons demands a little extra chewing on the consumer's part, perhaps an unwanted quality. They're also pretty pricey as they are only sold in bags of roughly 20.

75 9th Avenue, New York, NY; oneluckyduck.com

Ruthy's Bakery

Varities: coconut, chocolate-dipped
Price: $2.00/each

Pros: It's easy to overlook the macaroons next to Ruthy's elaborate cupcake-filled bakery case. The macaroons look dull and mass-produced in comparison, so the perfectly cakey texture and balanced coconut-to-chocolate-ratio took us by pleasant surprise.

Cons: Though a solid macaroon, Ruthy's forte is still cakes; it feels strange to send someone here for anything but.

75 9th Avenue, New York, NY; ruthys.com

Zabar's

Varieties: coconut, chocolate-covered, chocolate chip, almond
Price: $7.49/tub

Zabar's is New York's kosher grocery, so naturally macaroons of several varieties are displayed prominently throughout the store this time of year.

Pros: The plastic tub they're sold in along with the moderate price make Zabar's a go-to for your macaroon party needs.

Cons: This brand is nothing more and nothing less than we expected from a coconut macaroon. It's accessible, but forgettable.

2245 Broadway, New York, NY; zabars.com

Russ and Daughters

Varieties: chocolate, salted almond chocolate, salted caramel, dipped chocolate
Price: $1.99 sold individually

Two weeks before Passover, people were outside the shop eating macaroons on benches facing Houston Street. This bustling and beloved one-stop-shop has smoked fish, dried fruits and nuts, chocolate covered confections, and of course, matzo ball soup.

Pros: These are notable for the quality of coconut, which is crunchy and more coarsely grated and rustic that most. The salted caramel was most memorable; its drizzle of caramel studded with granules of salt was enough to flavor the whole haystack.

Cons: If you prefer more finely grated coconut confections than this might not be the ideal macaroon for you.

179 E. Houston Street, New York, NY; russanddaughters.com

Le Pain Quotidien

Variety: coconut
Price: $1.50/each

I stopped in one of this Belgian-influenced café's locations on a whim, and found my very favorite macaroon in New York City.

Pros: Piped tall and wide, these are the most elegant-looking of the bunch. The finely shredded coconut creates an almost cake-like experience, without losing the desired moist and toasty qualities of an ideal macaroon. Plus, they're a steal at $1.50 each. When I dream about macaroons at night, I dream about these.

Cons: Only offering a plain coconut variety is a real tease.

Many locations around the city;www.lepainquotidien.com

Breads Bakery

(Pictured top) Variety: Coconut
Price: $9 for a bag of 12 mini macaroons

Pros: The texture is spot on; a crispy, golden brown exterior with a moist and not-too-chewy middle. These bite-sized macaroons look delightful, with a nice contrast that reveals their delicate piping.

Cons: We immediately agreed: these are too sweet! We also groaned at the price tag. Bring these if you're running late in Union Square with nothing to bring to dinner.

18 E. 16th Street, New York, NY; www.breadsbakery.com

Magnolia Bakery

Variety: chocolate-dipped
Price: $1.50 each

If Magnolia is an institution for cupcakes, then it's a well-kept secret for macaroons. Though not displayed on the day we visited, the counter attendant gladly retrieved a couple from his back stash.

Pros: Oven-browned just to the critical point of contrast, the exterior is flaky while the interior is chewy and moist. Half is dipped in a ganache of semi-sweet dark chocolate that forms the perfect compliment to the sweet and grated filling. We were surprised we wished we had a whole box of these!

Cons: It seems the availability of these are hit and miss. Also, their flat appearance is less appealing than some others.

401 Bleecker Street, New York, NY; magnoliabakery.com

Streit's

Varieties: chocolate-chocolate chip (reviewed), coconut, almond, chocolate nut brownie, honey nut, toffee crunch.
Price: $6.99/can

This one is 97-year-old-Aunt-Rose approved. Just pull back the tin foil and you'll find America's most popular Passover treat, made daily on Rivington Street since 1925. They're easy to find in supermarkets around Passover.

Pros: These macaroons come in a can but are made with ingredients found in anyone's Passover pantry: potato starch, coconut, sugar, egg whites, and cocoa. Bite-sized and chewy, they're a perfect party popper.

Cons: Sometimes bakers throw potato starch into the mix to give the macaroon more body. Streit's developed a recipe with this principle in mind, building macaroons closer to cakes than meringues. This, perhaps more than the salted-caramel artisanal varieties of today, is the macaroon's furthest reach from Italy.

148-154 Rivington Street, New York, NY; www.streitsmatzos.com

Danny Macaroons

Varieties: chocolate almond, salted caramel
Price: $2.30 each

Perhaps New York's most artisanal coconut macaroon, Danny's are sold online and in high end coffee shops throughout the city. You can't always find every flavor, but it's almost worth a continued quest of hopes of scoring a maple pecan pie or black chocolate stout variety.

Pros: Carefully selected ingredients clearly created macaroons whose flavor combinations are down to a culinary science. The addition of condensed milk make the coconut interior extra creamy, as if a coating of smooth dark chocolate wasn't already enough.

Cons: The overall bite came off denser than we prefer, and the unpredictability of their availability makes us less eager to continue pursuing Danny.

Available at cafes and shops throughout NYC; dannymacaroons.com

Mansoura Pastries

Varieties: almond, pistachio, dark chocolate covered, almond macaroon sandwiches filled with pistachio paste
Price: $15 for a box of 20 mini macaroons

Mansoura is an old-school Sephardic Jewish bakery whose bakers can guide you through their culinary history. At Mansoura, you'll find Greybeh topped with roasted pistachio, walnut biscotti, Turkish delight, baklava, and even maamoul, a savory dough packed with dates. During passover, unleavened fruit and nut delicacies take their place. Macaroons of the Italian-Sephardic variety take us back to the macaroon's Italian roots.

Pros: The Belgian chocolate-covered almond macaroon won us over at first bite; not too sweet, with just the right amount of chocolate. The almond-covered macaroons were sprinkled with thinly sliced almonds, perfectly contrasting the melt-in-your mouth sensation of the almond-paste dough.

Cons: There are no coconut macaroons here; it's just not in line with their tradition. At $15 a box, these are of the gourmet variety.

515 Kings Highway, Brooklyn, NY; mansoura.com

Holon Middle East Foods

Varieties: coconut, pistachio, walnut, peanut, chocolate chip
Price: $6.99 for a box of 10-12

The next spot in Brooklyn was Holon, just a block down from Mansoura. In awe of their extraordinary variety of macaroons, the grocer called out to me. Did we want a sample? There were fresh ones coming out of the oven. We didn't want to leave; we were given two free samples of their passover baked goods, and there was still an island of pickled vegetables to ogle.

Pros: There are only four ingredients in these parve little showstoppers: eggs, coconut, sugar, and nuts. Macaroons like these have a higher nut to coconut ratio and do not have oil. c

Cons: You won't be able to taste them all if you're going to eat them alone; they only come in boxes of ten. And if you're looking for something dense and chewy, these aren't for you.

527 Kings Highway, Brooklyn, NY; holonfoods.com

About the authors: Ruthie Young is lovingly called "The Smoothie Queen," and has a founded passion for Midwestern delicacies like Hotdish. She blogs at the-tasty-truth.com. Aly Miller is a Milwaukee native who loves NYC for its old-school bakeries, rooftop gardens, and its crazy quilt of architecture. She blogs at Food Politic and The Co-op Kitchen.

Dominique Ansel takes a break from making Cronuts to chat with The New Potato about his breakfast routine and what he learned from Daniel Boulud. On buying Cronuts off of Craigslist he cautions: "I don't think anyone should be buying second-hand food off of a person who is not certified to handle food. It's like taking candy from a stranger." [TNP]

He may be one of the most iconic and best-loved actors to have portrayed James Bond, but Pierce Brosnan isn't actually a fan of the work that catapulted him to global renown. Describing the experience of watching his 007 movies as "a horrible feeling," Brosnan tells The Telegraph of his insecurity in playing the role — which was first made famous by Sean Connery and advanced by Roger Moore — and how "it was a very hard one to grasp the meaning of."

From their very beginning, Bond movies have been characterized by an odd mix of levity and violence, both of which were turned up to extremes during Brosnan's time in the leading role. In his four Bond films, the Irish actor was consistently called on to save the world from an...

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T-Mobile plans to abolish overage charges across its US consumer plans starting May 1st. The latest "Uncarrier" move isn't as drastic or game-changing as it initially sounds, however; T-Mobile already phased out most overage charges with the introduction of its Simple Choice plans. Rather than hit subscribers with extra fees, the company instead slows down data speeds once customers run past their monthly allotment — a practice known as throttling. Still, today's announcement could benefit customers on some of the carrier's legacy plans, as CEO John Legere notes that the new policy applies to all consumer plans, not just Simple Choice.

"We’re putting an end to the fear of getting one too many pics or clicking on one too many links...

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After years of hoping and complaining, the Macy's July 4th Fireworks spectacle will be returning to the East River. Mayor Bill de Blasio will be making the official announcement this afternoon in Brooklyn Heights, but he told the Daily News, "I’m thrilled that, after years of working with Macy’s and my colleagues to make this a reality, the fireworks will return to the East River this year! Now even more New Yorkers will get to take part in this extraordinary celebration, against the backdrop of the Brooklyn Bridge, the harbor and our skyline." [ more › ]

Micah Coles gave all NBA teams (plus the Sonics) Pokemon-themed redesigns:

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What if you only had to pay for coffee once a month? With a new app, there's a way to do that. Called Cups, the app sells monthly subscriptions for unlimited coffee from a few dozen independent coffee shops around New York City. $45 a month gets you as much brew, drip, filter, pour-over, and filter coffee as you can handle. Tea's included too. If you need espresso (and who doesn't?) the subscription jumps up to $85 per month. That gets you any size espresso, americano, cappucino, latte, macchiato, and iced coffee you want. The only restriction is you have to wait 30 minutes between cups — a reasonable limitation that's probably a good idea for your health anyways.

While unlimited coffee certainly has appeal for true java lovers out...

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Not the culinary wonderland some people want you to believe it is.

The food landscape in this ancient dining city is wreathed in endless myth and legend. Like many myths, these tales grow in power as they're repeated down through generations, and like many myths, the more they're repeated, the less bearing they tend to have on reality. There’s the great New York cheesecake myth (“Oh, you have to go to Junior’s”), and the great Italian red-sauce myth (“You haven’t had meatballs until you’ve been up to Arthur Avenue”). There’s the Coney Island hot-dog myth, the City Island seafood myth, and the freshly minted, still-evolving myth of artisanal Brooklyn. The Great Chinatown Myth has grown, over the decades, to encompass the food courts of Flushing and the new dim sum joints in Sunset Park. But its epicenter, I would respectfully argue, remains the old bustling neighborhood down around Canal Street, and I would also respectfully argue that the food in Manhattan's Chinatown has never been more ordinary or predictable.

Sure, I enjoy hand-snapped noodles as much as the next guy, and, yes, my dumpling-crazed daughters devour the crispy-bottomed pork dumplings at Prosperity Dumpling, on Eldridge Street, by the barrel. I still shop in the markets around the neighborhood, and I’m told that you can still can get a decent seafood dinner at Oriental Garden, provided they seat you in the elegant, wood-trimmed dining room upstairs, you have access to the “secret” menu, and no one at the table orders the chewy, preheated Peking duck. Having grown up gobbling dim sum, and other indigenous local delicacies, as a fat little kid in Hong Kong, I also love the feel of the neighborhood, which is more classically “authentic” in its boisterous, bustling, tumbledown way, than many of the increasingly arid skyscraper cities and malls back in modern China.
 
But with apologies to Wilson Tang, whose relaunched Nom Wah Tea Parlor serves a decent facsimile of “classic” dim sum, and whose new restaurant, Fung Tu, up on Orchard Street, I enjoyed, the Chinatown dining scene has been stuck in neutral for years now. Talented chefs may come through the neighborhood now and then, but they rarely stay for more than a few months. Compared to Joe Ng’s best cooking at RedFarm, or Han Chiang's elaborate menu at Han Dynasty, weekend dim sum in Old Chinatown feels less like a culinary event these days than a tired form of performance art. The old warhorse establishments along Mott Street tend to work fine for a quick fix of char siu or roast duck over rice, but if you sit down for an actual meal, chances are you’ll soon find yourself buried under a familiar tsunami of salty soups, leaden dumplings, and clammy, glutinous sauces.
 
I’d love to believe in the enduring myth of Manhattan’s Chinatown, I really would. Which is why, when a friend suggested we meet at his new favorite Mott Street haunt, a place called the Shanghai Café Deluxe, my heart lifted a little. Shanghai Café wasn’t new, exactly, but thanks to the mysterious alchemy of internet-driven tastemaking, it seemed to be experiencing a renaissance moment. The Shanghai soup dumplings — that enduring totem of Chinatown’s mythical dining scene — had been rated the best in town a couple of years back. After that, the Yelpers leapt into the fray, and now, according to my friend, people were traveling from points far and wide to sample them.
 
Would our dinner change my mind? Certainly the early signs were encouraging. When we arrived, on a blustery weekday evening, the little restaurant’s windows were covered with steam, and unlike the other predictably deserted establishments up and down the block, the dining room was so full that we had to wait for a table to clear. Instead of the usual assortment of addled-looking tourists and local diners, the wooden, pewlike banquets were filled with bearded gentlemen dressed in flannel shirts and merry, pink-cheeked girls who studied the lengthy, reasonably priced, generally excellent-sounding menu with avid intensity and called out to each other between tables to ask what was good.
 
Caught up in the merriment, we ordered a giant bamboo tower of the soup dumplings, along with a small flotilla of chicken and pork dishes and a great, Frisbee-sized salver of crispy noodles. The industrial-strength soup dumplings arrived first. They were sturdy and soupy, the way Chinatown soup dumplings tend to be, but in the humble opinion of the assembled dumpling experts at our table, they lacked the popping, diaphanous lightness that defines the best of the genre. The pot stickers were on the gummy side, too, although the pan-seared baozi were decent enough provided you wiped off the shiny residue of cooking grease. The recently re-warmed “crispy duck” wasn’t crispy at all, the fried pork chop was mostly bone and gristle, and the identical tasting orders of General Tso’s chicken and orange crispy beef were ringed with identical undercooked broccoli florets and obscured in the same viscous, iridescently orange, barely edible sauce.
 
Did we order wrong? Possibly. Was anyone else at Shanghai Café that evening complaining? On the contrary, the little room was filled with the happy, infectious sounds (laughter, the clatter of plates) that characterize a successful restaurant. All around us, a new generation of eaters were being intoxicated by the powerful Myth of Chinatown. This included my Shanghai Café-loving friend, who happily ate a tray of the soup dumplings, just like he always did, and then another. But the fresser to my right — a grizzled veteran of many mediocre Mott Street dinners — wasn't so sure. He took one bite of the irradiated orange beef, then another, before putting his chopsticks down for good. “Let's try Flushing next time,” he said.

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Filed Under: cranky critic, adam platt, chinatown, manhattan, new york, shanghai cafe deluxe