Shared posts

05 Jul 09:00

"Romeo can’t really be blamed for Ophelia’s death."

“Romeo can’t really be blamed for Ophelia’s death.”

-

Senior English major on a Shakespeare final. (via minininny)

WELL THEY’RE NOT WRONG

——

How about this, though?

image

[Editorial Note: This “theory” depends on believing the Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet take place contemporaneously. So, for the sake of argument, let’s all agree that the events of both plays occur in the Spring of 1517 (chosen because of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses, and the Reformational threads that run through Hamlet).]

See, in the Second Quarto and First Folio versions of Romeo and Juliet, a[n extremely minor] character appears with Romeo, Mercutio, and Benvolio at the Capulet’s Party (where, if you recall, Romeo meets Juliet for the first time).

Like Hamlet's Horatio, this Horatio is full of well-worded philosophical advice. He tells Romeo “And to sink in it should you burden love, too great oppression for a tender thing.”

image

Fig. 1 - Second Quarto Printing

image

Fig. 2 - First Folio Printing

[The American Shakespeare Center’s Education Blog discusses the likely “real” reasons for Horatio’s presence]

Let’s imagine that Horatio has travelled down from Wittenberg (about 540 miles) to Verona for his Spring Break. He hears about some guys who like to party (because, let’s be honest, besides getting stabbed, partying is Mercutio’s main thing). So, he ends up crashing the Capulet’s ball with them.

He is then on the sidelines as Romeo and Juliet fall in love, Tybalt kills Mercutio, Romeo kills Tybalt, Romeo gets banished, and both lovers are found dead in Juliet’s tomb.

This tragedy fresh in his mind, he returns to Wittenberg at the end of what has turned out to be a decidedly un-radical Spring Break and discovers that his bestie Prince Hamlet is leaving for Elsinore Castle because he’s just gotten news that his father, the King, is dead.

On the trip up (another ~375 miles), Horatio recounts the tragic romance he just witnessed in Verona. He advises (as he is wont to do) Hamlet not to mix love and revenge.

Hamlet takes Horatio’s advice to heart, breaking up with Ophelia so that he can focus is energy on discovering and punishing his father’s killer:

HAMLET
Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner
transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the
force of honesty can translate beauty into his
likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the
time gives it proof. I did love you once.

OPHELIA

Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.

HAMLET

You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot
so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it: I loved you not.

Ophelia - burdened by the perceived loss of Hamlet’s love and his murder of her father - goes mad and drowns herself.

You see, if Romeo had waited literally a minute and thirty seconds longer (31 iambic pentametrical lines) - he, Juliet, Ophelia (and possibly the rest of the Hamlet characters) would have made it.

* With thanks to roguebelle.

(via thefeminineending)

Buncha fuckin nerds in this town.

(via moriartini)

The Hamratiophelia Conspiracy Theory ftw

(via zahnie)

03 Jul 22:39

This blog writes itself.

DateTimeImmutable::modify()

Alters the timestamp. Like DateTime::modify() but works with DateTimeImmutable.

Duh. I don’t see what’s so hard about this, @pda.

Of course, it doesn’t actually do what the name says and modify an unmodifiable object at all. So, at least there’s that; PHP didn’t actually go through with its threat.

SUPER EDIT FUN TIME! The following article by someone who worked on this code was pointed out to me on Twitter by @GDMac: 

http://derickrethans.nl/immutable-datetime.html

03 Jul 04:00

July 03, 2014


Welp, th
Welp, that was the biggest project we've ever done. Thank you all so much for participating. I promise the next big thing will be a new SMBC book!
03 Jul 01:11

JC Penney wins Supreme Court victory, may sacrifice employees to Cthulhu.

by Cory Doctorow

You knew this was coming, right?

Citing the newly-established precedent of corporate-religious exemption, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled Tuesday in favor of JCPenney, upholding the company's right to sacrifice pure-hearted employees in order to assuage the Dread Lord Cthulhu, Bringer of Madness.

The Penney estate, devout cultists and owners of the multibillion-dollar chain of mid-range department stores, joined by CEO Mike Ullman, sued the government in 2012 when new federal employee protections made it illegal for them to hire virgin maidens for the sole purpose of spilling their blood on the Altar of the Cosmos, with the hope that such an offering will prolong the Great Old One's slumber in the sunken city of R'lyeh.

Supreme Court Rules JCPenney Allowed to Sacrifice Employees to Appease Cthulhu [Moonmont Chronicle]

(via JWZ)

02 Jul 17:24

Photo



29 Jun 18:06

If anyone remembers, a while ago I got sent an ask as to why...













If anyone remembers, a while ago I got sent an ask as to why Elrond didn’t have the Eagles fly the ring to Mordor. And my friend wilypixel deemed my answer hilarious enough to merit a comic. 

You’re welcome.

28 Jun 02:00

bromoyed: "idris elba as—" yes

bromoyed:

"idris elba as—"

yes

28 Jun 13:53

Tumblr | 551.png

551.png
30 Jun 03:00

Dice shaming for disloyal D20s

by Cory Doctorow


Dice-shaming: for when your stubborn, disloyal polyhedra refuse to behave (see also). Dang, I hope this becomes a thing! (via Seanan)

27 Jun 05:00

Shellcast

by admin

Comic

27 Jun 15:20

I’m not really into Dilbert, but Wally has always been a...



I’m not really into Dilbert, but Wally has always been a bit of a hero to me.

29 Jun 00:00

06.29.2014

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic

Copy this into your blog, website, etc.
<a href="http://explosm.net/comics/3603/"><img alt="Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic" src="http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Kris/club2.png" border=0></a><br />Cyanide & Happiness @ <a href="http://explosm.net">Explosm.net</a>

...or into a forum
[URL="http://explosm.net/comics/3603/"]
[IMG]http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Kris/club2.png[/IMG][/URL]
Cyanide & Happiness @ [URL="http://explosm.net/"]Explosm.net[/URL]
<—- Share this comic!

23 Jun 22:00

Photo



23 Jun 23:51

Photo



26 Jun 10:03

Broken Vase

Broken Vase
26 Jun 14:37

Photo







25 Jun 04:00

People are Stupid

Infinull

When I say "People are Stupid" I am including myself and the people I'm talking with in "people." We are stupid, just not quite as stupid as slugs.

Stupid slugs.

To everyone who responds to everything by saying they've 'lost their faith in humanity': Thanks--I'll let humanity know. I'm sure they'll be crushed.
24 Jun 09:16

This American student who got stuck inside a giant vagina statue and had to be rescued by 22 men in rubber raincoats is a metaphor for something, I’m almost certain

Infinull

I'm not sure either, but I too am almost certain.

Perhaps the failures of patriarchy.

24 Jun 00:00

06.24.2014

Infinull

Take your canvas bags... Take your canvas baa--ags.

Down to the supermarket.

(or kill yourself, apparently)

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic

Copy this into your blog, website, etc.
<a href="http://explosm.net/comics/3598/"><img alt="Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic" src="http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Rob/plasticbags.png" border=0></a><br />Cyanide & Happiness @ <a href="http://explosm.net">Explosm.net</a>

...or into a forum
[URL="http://explosm.net/comics/3598/"]
[IMG]http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Rob/plasticbags.png[/IMG][/URL]
Cyanide & Happiness @ [URL="http://explosm.net/"]Explosm.net[/URL]
<—- Share this comic!

21 Jun 16:00

Not Quite The (Ice) Cream Of The Crop

Retail | UK

(I work in a very popular chocolate shop that also sells ice cream in the summer. It is a particularly busy, hot Saturday. I am serving ice cream. There was a huge line of customers. Suddenly, a customer strolls into the store, leaving her bicycle outside. Eventually, it is her turn.)

Customer: “Finally. I’ll have a hazelnut.”

Me: “Sure, a double or a single?”

Customer: “Double.”

Me: “Would you like it in a cone or a tub?”

Customer: “A bag.”

Me: “…Pardon?”

Customer: “A bag.”

(I look at her for a moment)

Me: “I’m sorry, Miss, but the ice cream only comes in a cone or a tub.”

Customer: “Well, I need it in a bag. Do you have a bag?”

(We put chocolate in small transparent bags, but they would definitely not fit an ice cream tub, also there are no lids on the tubs to cover the ice cream.)

Me: “It won’t fit in one of our bags, miss.”

Customer: “Yes, it will. Get one.”

(I protest again, but fetch her bag anyway. I present it to her and show her the size, to prove it won’t fit.)

Me: “See, Miss? It’s too small. The tub won’t fit in there.”

Customer: “Oh, honestly, how do you even have a job? Do you even have a brain?”

(I’m hurt by this comment, and am getting quite angry.)

Me: “Look, it won’t fit; I don’t know what you’d like me to do.”

Customer: “Let me do it, girl.”

(She proceeds to take the full-to-the-brim ice cream tub and squeeze it into the bag sideways, smearing her ice cream all down the sides. I stare at her in disbelief. Ice cream is dripping everywhere.)

Customer: “Was that so hard?”

Me: *still staring* “Would… you like a spoon?”

(She held out the open bag and I dropped in a small plastic spoon with the already nearly melted ice cream. She paid and left. I watched her outside the window as she put her bag of squished ice cream into the child-seat of her bicycle, STRAPPED UP THE SEAT BELT, and cycled away down the road. I stared in disbelief for the rest of the day.)

22 Jun 06:34

pmon3y69: drdawg: my friend Pete literally makes me cry with...

Infinull

cars are powered mostly by algae, very little dinosaur.













pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

20 Jun 14:36

heichaoba: Ubisoft animators

Infinull

Hey man everyone knows organics are hard.













heichaoba:

Ubisoft animators

20 Jun 10:27

Photo

Infinull

Gotta love Mulder.







21 Jun 19:08

thegirlwhocriedfoxface: hostagesituation: My friend had a guy...

Infinull

I want to believe.



















thegirlwhocriedfoxface:

hostagesituation:

My friend had a guy sitting way too close to her on the bus and he was trying to read her text messages, so we damn well gave him something to read.

incredible.

19 Jun 20:01

pierregrassou: collection of robots saying “fuck this shit”

Infinull

I've seen all these gifs before, but I think the fact that they exist says something about my profession (software engineering).









pierregrassou:

collection of robots saying “fuck this shit”

18 Jun 23:16

Facebook Slingshot

by John Gruber

Ellis Hamburger, writing for The Verge:

At first, Facebook’s new ephemeral messaging app, Slingshot, feels like yet another Snapchat clone. The free app, available now for iPhone and Android, lets you take a quick photo or video, mark it up with some colorful drawings, caption it with big white text, and then fire it off to a bunch of friends. But then you receive your first message, and you realize this is something completely different.

In Snapchat or any other messaging app, you can view a message as soon as you receive it. But in Slingshot, you can’t view an incoming “shot” until you send a shot back to the sender. “It’s not just about telling your story, it’s about asking others for their story,” says Slingshot designer Joey Flynn. In other words, Slingshot makes you trade a photo of what you’re doing before you can “unlock” the picture of whatever your friend is up to. Huh?

If they give you phones in hell, this is the sort of app that’s on them.

19 Jun 11:38

ungratefullittleshit: Times Tumblr Raised Serious Questions...





















ungratefullittleshit:

Times Tumblr Raised Serious Questions About “Harry Potter”

flergleblergle, laugh with me

19 Jun 14:25

A Former Marine Corps Weapons Instructor on the Desirability of Guns for Self-Defense

by John Scalzi

Turns out he has a few cogent reservations. I would agree with them.

Relatedly, I suspect it would surprise a number of people to know I don’t have a philosophical issue with gun ownership. Own them if you like; please take substantial training with them and learn to operate them responsibly, since they really are designed to kill things, including people. I live in a rural area that has a large amount of gun ownership; on many evenings I can hear my neighbors having target practice. There’s never been a problem. I prefer a bow myself.

Likewise, gun ownership, sensibly practiced, as part of (but not solely comprising) an overall security regimen? Sure. Keep the weapon instructor’s reservations in mind; he has experience on the matter. There are lots of ways that introducing a gun to a self-defense situation can go very wrong.

On the other hand, gun as fetish object? Creeps me out. When I see a picture of some dude hoisting some big damn gun about, often with appallingly poor trigger discipline, the first thing that comes to my mind is not look out, we have a badass on our hands, but, rather, here’s a dude who’s afraid of every fucking thing in the world. The big damn gun is like the eyes on the wings of a butterfly or a pufferfish sucking in seawater — a way to look bigger and maybe not get eaten. By whom? By whomever, man, I don’t know — when you’re afraid of every fucking thing in the world, I guess you spend a lot of time worrying about getting eaten.

So wait, are you calling me a coward? I hear some of these dudes saying, hoisting their guns. No, not a coward. Just afraid.

I’m not afraid! I have a big damn gun! Yes, well. Whatever makes you feel not afraid, chuckles.

You wouldn’t be saying that if I were in front of you, with my big damn gun! Indeed, I probably wouldn’t, because when people who are afraid of every fucking thing in the world wander about with big damn guns, bad things have an increasingly likely chance of happening. I’ll just go have lunch in Chipotle until you wander off, if it’s all the same to you.

Knowledgeable about guns? Sweet. Geeked out about guns in all their varieties? Hey, everyone’s a geek about something, and this is one of your things. Rock on. Wanting to share the joys of responsible ownership and use of guns with others? I am all for positive role models with these particular machines. Please do. Have to display yourself with your guns and/or can’t bear to part with them for a moment? Dude, you’re afraid of every fucking thing in the world.

I’m gonna be thinking that every time I see that picture of you with your big damn gun. I doubt I’ll be the only one.


17 Jun 23:39

twentypixels: Why We Still Need Print Newspapers It’s hard not...





twentypixels:

Why We Still Need Print Newspapers

It’s hard not to bask in the glow of the Internet when it provides you with such a convenient way to access such a vast amount of news and information. But here are some things that your digital news can’t do~

19 Jun 14:00

High Score

by Mark
Infinull

sim-spreadsheet

2014-06-20-Highscore

Here’s a fun thing for you! KC Green and Anthony Clark’s new comic “Back” launched on Wednesday!! Read the first update here and let’s all share in this experience from the ground floor!