Shared posts

24 Jul 11:30

Your cat has a cooler house than I do.

by thebloggess
Denise

WANT

Go home, everybody.  The best cat toy ever has been created and nothing you buy for your cat will ever be impressive again.

star wars catMy cats just looked at this picture from their cardboard box on the floor and then shook their tiny heads at me in disgust and shame.

Frankly, I’m disappointed too.  Why don’t they make these in human size?  It’s like a loft bed without having to have a loft.  Plus, if you just got comfortable but you need a drink you can just drive your bed to the fridge.  If they put a bathroom and a well-stocked bookshelf in there I’d probably never leave again.

PS.  In case you missed it…yesterday a lot of you expressed envy at my horrific 80′s cat sweater, so I found you something even better.  It’s at the bottom of the post.

25 Jul 14:02

16 Shakespearean Insults To Unleash In Everyday Life

Denise

May need to click the link to see - but have some Shakespearean insults with ADDED CAT!

Titus Andronicus.

Henry IV, Part One.

As You Like It.

Measure For Measure.

Henry IV, Part Two.

Henry IV, Part One.

Henry IV, Part One.

King Lear.

The Taming Of The Shrew.

Henry IV, Part One.

The Two Gentlemen Of Verona.

Macbeth.

Henry IV, Part One.

All's Well That Ends Well.

Henry IV, Part One.

King Lear.


All photos via Shutterstock unless otherwise stated.

30 Jun 04:00

Subduction License

'Dude, why can't you just be a normal roommate?' 'Because I'm coming TOWARD you!'
24 Jun 15:00

Five Lessons I Learned From Dealing with Depression

by Eric Ravenscraft
Denise

Yep. Don't agree with everything specific (and she points out that it is specific for her, so no fault) - BUT, like Hyperbole and a Half, her general experience has been the same as mine. Even when I'm not actively in the pit, I'm still fundamentally shaped by my depression. I'm always an impostor. I feel horrible much of the time, for no "good" reason. Even when I'm up, I have to work at convincing myself that my illogical thoughts are not reality, because my reality is that I'm no good even when I "know" I am. It is so very hard to explain to those who have only had episodic or situational depression.

Five Lessons I Learned From Dealing with Depression

Depression is a hard topic to talk about. It's an even harder thing to live through. I've lived with depression for more than two decades. After a while, there were a few things I learned about how to get by without giving up.

Read more...








24 Jun 02:47

Photo



18 Jun 14:00

It's Dangerous to Go Holmes Alone

Denise

I'd take Watson with me, indeed!

It's Dangerous to Go Holmes Alone

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: TV , Sherlock , take one
23 Jun 03:15

Dependent and Resplendent

espressoface
01 Jun 20:49

A reader tells us why cats pwn dogs

by whyevolutionistrue
Denise

Sharing mostly for the comic at the end.

A while back I asked readers to give me their opinion of why cats are better than dogs, some crowdsourcing for an exciting event coming up this fall.  There were lots of answers, and lots of ammunition for the “event.”

But one reader went further. Over at his own website, Further Thoughts for the Day, David compiled his thoughts into a very nice post, “Why cats are better than dogs.” Go over and have a look: it’s not long but has some good information and, of  course, some subjectivity. Among David’s points are these (bullet points are direct quotes).

  • I find cats more aesthetically pleasing. Sure, dogs can be cute, or handsome, or beautiful etc, but cats are more so. They look more graceful when they move, they look more elegant when they sleep, and basically are much more pleasing to my eyes. Whilst I’m not sure it’s true that “The dog may be wonderful prose, but only the cat is poetry” is a French proverb (my only source is a fridge magnet I saw), the sentiment certainly is.

I agree. I like to think of cats as “living sculptures.”

  • Also, cats are just the right size, and feel more comfortable curled up on my lap than dogs have done. Dogs can be a bit too big, or a bit too small. Cats are just right.

Indeed! Do you want a German Shepherd cuddling on your lap, for crying out loud? And the real lapdogs, like chihuahuas and papillons, are repugnant.

I know some reader is going to mention bird deaths. A word to the wise: don’t. We’ve done that to death.

Of course you’ll have to divide all the figures for dogs by seven, for as we know, a human dollar is the equivalent of seven dog dollars. However, the cat figures get divided by five, so cats still come out cheaper at the high end. And they live longer, too, reducing their annual financial burden.

This doesn’t even include the lagniappe of the purr, which David extols as well. I won’t mention how wet dogs smell, since David does that, too.

And, to celebrate the wonder that is the felid, I’ll append this cartoon, sent by reader Steve:

10341609_10152492510806255_7412701041821099068_n

 

Now the “butt” thing is really novel!


27 May 03:55

Echos in a Cave

Denise

I believe this is relevant to some of our book group discussions :D

espressoface

Do audiobooks count as reading?

08 May 20:49

“Do you have any feelings, or are you just TOO FUCKING...



“Do you have any feelings, or are you just TOO FUCKING COOL?”

31 May 19:00

Real Life Simpsons

Real Life Simpsons

Submitted by: (via jesszumpepi.com)

28 May 20:43

"The book is basically Dilbert in World War II."



"The book is basically Dilbert in World War II."

23 May 07:00

strip for May / 23 / 2014 - The Finest of Things

Denise

You know, even with all my tech, there is not much better than a stick, a rock, and some imagination.

08 May 03:59

Darwinning at Life

espressoface

Don’t let your cats grow up to be Creationists.

02 May 03:45

Friday I'm in Denial

espressoface

Did you know? Coffee is a Vitamin.

27 Apr 17:19

Be smarter than the...

Denise

I like this bun's thinking!



Be smarter than the obstacles.

m0rethanyoubargainedf0r:

catdad:

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

I reblogged this at like 4am and I’ve spent the whole day thinking about it and randomly laughing

22 Apr 16:50

Please talk to your children. *mild trigger warning*

by thebloggess
Denise

Ugh. I understand how unsettling this is, particularly with those with anxiety. But also, how ULTIMATELY UNLIKELY it actually is - which she kind of acknowledges, but she still goes to the "What if??" place. And WTF about practicing a lock-down drill??? That only causes more unnecessary worry!

Yesterday Hailey came home terrified because of a letter sent home to all the kids in her elementary school.  It was meant for the parents but of course the kids on the bus read it and talked about it and made it more so much scarier, as children do.  And it is scary.

According to what I’ve read, an unnamed elementary school in our district has been threatened with mass violence by anonymous emails from someone who identified themselves as a serial killer.  It’s most likely a hoax (as most of these things are) and the fact that the emailer claims that it will happen on Thursday might indicate that it’s a student wanting area schools to close so they can have a four-day-weekend.  (Fiesta Friday is a traditional school holiday in our area.)

Still, it’s unsettling.  A few weeks ago I had to pick up Hailey at school because she got sick right after a lock-down drill designed to show children how to hide and be silent in the event of a school attack.  In some schools they teach the children how to barricade doors and what they can throw at an attacker that might slow them down.  I’m glad that they have these drills, but I hate that it’s necessary to have them.

This week the FBI and the police department will continue the investigation.  The schools in Hailey’s district will look more closely at any safety issues and will shore up any weak areas of security and make the schools safer.  And hopefully this will all go away.  But this is why I’m writing about this:  Lots of times when schools get bomb threats or threats of violence it ends up being a student who will brag about it to their friends.  Please talk to your kids today.  Tell them how important it is to let you know if they hear something like this.  So many of us don’t think about asking our kids about this stuff because we just assume they’ll tell us, but so often kids laugh stuff like that off as a silly prank without realizing the trauma involved for everyone else.  There’s a tip line that you can call if you’ve heard anything about this recent threat.  (210) 225-TIPS.

As for me, I haven’t decided whether to keep Hailey home on Thursday.  I’ll see what develops, talk it over with her and make a decision then.

I wish I had a better way to end this.  I wish I didn’t have to write this.  I wish you didn’t have to read it.  I wish a lot of things.

UPDATED:  The police and FBI  haven’t been able to identify who sent the death threats so I talked to Hailey and she said she’d rather stay home on Thursday, which is a bit of a relief because I’d rather she was home too.  As one of my amazing readers pointed out, Thursday also happens to be Take Your Daughter To Work Day and so I’m going to spend the day showing her what it’s like being a real writer, but with less booze.  This means we’ll rewrite the same paragraph all morning, then eventually scream “I CAN’T DO THIS.  NO ONE CAN DO THIS.”  Then we’ll give up and watch Doctor Who and take pictures of the cats to distract us from a looming sense of failure.  Later we’ll wake up at 2am with the perfect idea of how to finish that chapter we’ve been struggling over and will feverishly write until it’s all out of our head and then we’ll fall asleep at our desk and wonder the next day why we’re always so exhausted.  And it will be awesome.  And terrible.  Just like work should be.

22 Apr 06:18

orangemango says FML

by SleeplessinMaui
Denise

This happens ALL THE TIME. It really really sucks - when I lived in Hawaii, a friend had the same number except 808 instead of 800 as Home Depot.

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

23 Apr 20:00

I'll Show You a Roar!

I'll Show You a Roar!

Submitted by: (via nyka-huldra)

Tagged: Cats , dinosaurs , funny , roar
17 Apr 03:19

The Interrobang: What It Is (Awesome) and How to Get It On Your iPhone (Also Awesome)

by Elan Morgan
Denise

What do you mean you don't know the interrrobang‽ Sarah and I will disown you.

What is an interrobang?

See that punctuation mark to the left there? That, my friends, is an interrobang, and an interrobang is "…a nonstandard punctuation mark used in various written languages and intended to combine the functions of the question mark… and the exclamation mark…" (Wikipedia) It was invented in 1962, achieving minor popularity into the 1970s, but it never became a regular feature of the typewriter keyboard, and so we are left nearly bereft of interrobangs today. So true, so sad.

The interrobang is still the gorgeous baby of the ? and !, though, and it is perfect for saying things like:

  • What the hell
  • You're pregnant with whose baby
  • I'm supposed to do what with this chicken

I mean, one can hardly hammer out WTF‽ properly on Twitter without it.


How to Get the Interrobang On Your iPhone

ONE: If you are reading this on your iPhone, copy the following interrobang: 

TWO: Go to Settings » General » Keyboard » Shortcuts.

THREE:  Click the little "+" symbol in the upper right corner.

FOUR: Paste "‽" next to Phrase, and type "?!" next to Shortcut. Save.

FIVE: Test it out! From now on, every time you type "?!" it will default to "‽".

Is that cool or what‽

photo1 (1).jpg

The Interrobang On Your Desktop

There are ways to type the interrobang on computer keyboards, but the methods vary depending on your operating system and what version you have, so I just copy and paste interrobangs when I am using my desktop.


Now you know what an interrobang is, how to use one, how to create one, and you can clearly see that is an awesome piece of punctuation which has been unjustly ignored.

Go out and spread the interrobang like a social disease! Amaze your friends! What are you waiting for‽

       
11 Apr 15:20

[ARE THOSE PASTEL CHEVRON TIGHTS WITH SOME SORT OF CLUNKY...



[ARE THOSE PASTEL CHEVRON TIGHTS WITH SOME SORT OF CLUNKY ORTHOPEDIC SHOE?]

{MORE IMPORTANTLY, HAS SHE EVER HEARD OF SHAMPOO?}

[THAT WHOLE OUTFIT IS AN ABOMINATION. IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE TRIED TO SMOTHER A FIRE MADE OF CLASHING PATTERNS WITH A BLANKET MADE OF NORTH FACE.]

{THE GREASE FROM HER HAIR APPEARS TO BE MAKING A WATERPROOF COATING ON THAT JACKET. LIKE WAXING COTTON, ONLY HORRIBLE.}

[I SWEAR THERE’S SOME SORT OF HEMP SHAWL IN THERE TOO.]

{ARE YOU SURE IT’S NOT JUST MORE MATTED HAIR?}

[IF WE WEREN’T LIMITED TO TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION I’D CALL SOMEONE TO COME AND PUT A STOP TO THIS.]

{IT’S LIKE SHE CAN’T EVEN FEEL HER OWN HAIR. HOW CAN YOU NOT FEEL TENTACLES? THICK WEIRD TENTACLES.}

18 Apr 04:00

Free Speech

I can't remember where I heard this, but someone once said that defending a position by citing free speech is sort of the ultimate concession; you're saying that the most compelling thing you can say for your position is that it's not literally illegal to express.
14 Apr 21:41

poorlydrawnhorses: (based off this post) Each mentioned death...

Denise

Sarah! More people obsessed with this!



poorlydrawnhorses:

(based off this post)

Each mentioned death in the Gentleman Bastards books marked with a post it

I counted..

20 deaths in The Lies of Locke Lamora

28 deaths in Red Seas Under Red Skies

5 deaths in The Republic of Thieves

I guess by the third book, he’d probably run out of people to kill

Edit: I missed a couple of deaths in The Rpublic of theives, so a shoutout to the orphans hung at the very beginning of the book.

Also bibliothekara also did a tally of deaths with a slightly different approach! *High fives for having a Gentleman Bastards obsession and too much free time*

16 Apr 14:08

superwholockedginger: americaninthedeerstalker: probablyfiction...

















superwholockedginger:

americaninthedeerstalker:

probablyfiction:

thesheepenthusiast:

The doctor explains how the tardis is bigger on this inside (x)

Help. This actually makes sense.

Indeed, one of the most fascinating moments in Classic Who!

Time And Relative Dimensions In Space

16 Apr 04:56

merylstreeeps: Happy 55th Birthday, Emma Thompson! b. 15th...

Denise

How the hell is she 55? She is amazing!













merylstreeeps:

Happy 55th Birthday, Emma Thompson!

b. 15th April 1959

"I’m not fiddling about with myself. We’re in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60. The trick is to age honestly and make it look great so that everyone looks forward to it."
14 Apr 05:16

jodimeadows: Todd and Hiro heart you. #ferretsofinstagram...



jodimeadows:

Todd and Hiro heart you. #ferretsofinstagram #ferrets

31 Mar 13:13

LOOK, WE KNOW YOU’RE RUNNING LATE AND THAT THIS IS...



LOOK, WE KNOW YOU’RE RUNNING LATE AND THAT THIS IS PROBABLY WEIRD FOR YOU, BUT WE CAN’T LET YOU GO TO WORK IN THAT OUTFIT.

WE CARE ABOUT YOU. 

WE CONSIDER YOU A FRIEND, AND WE ONLY WANT WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU.

31 Mar 18:19

Why Space?

Denise

Know what? I'd still go!

Why Space?

28 Mar 20:00

Who Are We To Argue With Chemists Advocating Meat Marinated In Beer?

by Mary Beth Quirk

Listen, when science tells you to do something, I’m not going to argue. And so if chemists says marinating meat in beer before you cook it to help kill potentially scary carcinogens, well, we’re listening. Because let’s face it, there’s a high possibility that you’ll have beer hanging around that summer barbecue (if summer ever shows its sunny face, sigh).

A team of European scientists wrote in the American Chemical Society’s Journal of Agriculture and Food Chemistry that beer marinades provide a great way to cut down on polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs, as the science folk call’em), reports PSMag.com.

That’s the stuff that forms on meat when it’s cooked over open flames, “mainly, by contact of dripping fat with hot embers.” Because that substance can be carcinogenic, some health experts recommend limiting exposure to PAHs.

It sounds like researchers had a somewhat tasty time with this experiment, using pork loin steaks from a grocery store and marinating some in beer baths of varying types and others without anything as a control group.

According the findings, black beer did the best out of the three, reducing net weight of total PAHs by 53%. Next in line were non-alcoholic pilsners at 25% reduction and regular pilsner at 13%.

We’re sure you’ve stopped reading at this point because “grilled meat” and “beer,” but hey, at least now you have a scientific excuse for dousing that steak in a fine brew.

Chemists Endorse Marinating Meat With Beer [PSMag.com]

28 Mar 19:18

Teen Way Smarter Than Us: Silly Government, Just Change Your Typeface And Save $400M

by Mary Beth Quirk

Teen says Garamond could save money over Times New Roman.

Teen says Garamond could save money over Times New Roman (Enokson).

For my sixth-grade science fair project, I played Hootie and the Blowfish for some bean plants and displayed a half-hearted cardboard poster with the inconclusive results. In comparison, a now 14-year-old figured out how to save governments, including the federal one, a whole lot of money on ink, to the tune of $400 million.

When the boy was in middle school, he realized he was getting a whole lot of handouts, more than he was used to in elementary school, reports CNN. That launched him on an ink-saving mission to figure out how to save money and conserve resources, all by experimenting with different typefaces.

After charting commonly used characters used in school handouts, he printed them in four different fonts: Garamond, Times New Roman, Century Gothic and Comic Sans. Using a commercial tool called APFill® Ink Coverage Software, he was able to measure how much ink was used for each letter.

He then analyzed all his work and found that Garamond, with its thinner strokes, could save his school district up to $21,000 per year.

From there he was on to bigger and better things, encouraged by his teacher, and got in touch with the Journal for Emerging Investigators (JEI), a publication founded specifically for the work of middle school and high school students. Of the 200 submissions to publish work since 2011, his stood out.

“We were so impressed. We really could really see the real-world application in [his] paper,” one of the founders said of his work.

JEI’s peer reviewers prompted him to tackle the question of how the federal government could possibly save cash, just like his school district, on its $1.8 billion per year printing expenses.

Using the same methods he employed on the earlier project, he got similar results: Subsituting Garamond for Times New Roman would save $136 million per year on government documents, with an additional $234 million in savings if state governments followed suit, he concluded.

So will it be making the change? The media and public relations manager at the Government Printing Office called his work “remarkable,” but didn’t commit to a typeface switch, as the government is focused on helping the environment by moving more toward the Web.

“In 1994, we were producing 20,000 copies a day of both the Federal Register and Congressional Record. Twenty years later, we produce roughly 2,500 print copies a day,” he said.

The teen still thinks his ideas could make a big difference.

“They can’t convert everything to a digital format; not everyone is able to access information online. Some things still have to be printed,” he points out, adding, “I definitely would love to see some actual changes and I’d be happy to go as far as possible to make that change possible.”

Teen to government: Change your typeface, save millions [CNN]