I’d just come across a downed helicopter when I heard a voice.
Based on the content of the message and the fact that there was no one physically in my vicinity, the voice was the server administrator using his mic to address all the players on the server at once.
"Uh, just to let you all know," he said, "I’m about to shut the server down. And I’m going to rename the server. And none of you are going to ever be able to find the server again. So you might as well leave."
I didn’t leave. Presumably no other players left either, because a minute later the admin began broadcasting Tiny Tim’s "Livin’ In The Sunlight, Lyin’ In The Moonlight" at full volume to everyone.
Then I left.
One of my wife’s co-workers sent this book home with her, saying “This looks like the sort of thing David would like.” And WOW, was he correct. This book is INCREDIBLE.
It’s The Naughty Victorian Hand Book; or, Furtling: The Rediscovered Art of Erotic Hand Manipulation by New Zealand artists Jeremy Bennett and Burton Silver. Bennett is responsible for the many absolutely wonderful illustrations throughout the book — they’re created with a scratchboard technique that mimics incredibly the Victorian-era woodcut style. Silver is the author of quite a few humor books, including two that I already have on my shelf: Why Cats Paint and its sequel, Why Paint Cats.
(Click any image for a closer look.)
The premise of The Naughty Victorian Hand Book is simple. The introduction describes the lost practice of “furtling”, explaining:
To study the art of erotic hand manipulation is to start out on a wonderful journey of discovery, a journey that leads into a world of secret folds and furrows…
For no matter whether this work was billed as a “medicinal contrivance for the diminished urge” or simply as a harmless parlour-game, the prudish Victorian mind would have intuitively grasped the contagious nature of the underlying message…As you will find, these engravings have lost none of their power to excite and provoke.
They induce powerful statements of tactile value where the reader is encouraged to delight in the sensation of touch — as if the body were in miniature and the finger tip the caressing palm.
Every part of the book includes various cut-out sections, where the reader can place his or her hand physically under the page to fill out the illustration.
For example, on a given page, there will be a diagram showing exactly how to place your hand — you turn two pages, and place your hand underneath both in the configuration pictured.
Then, you lift up the top page to reveal the illustration that, with the addition of your hand, has become INCREDIBLY NAUGHTY.
This book is amazing. It’s a one-note joke, but it’s so elaborately done and so wonderfully done that it’s absolutely worth it. I’ve never seen a book quite like it.
Anyone who’s read my any of my books knows that I like to include mechanics in them that respect the physicality of the book as artifact — whether it’s having to repeatedly rotate The Annotated Wondermark, or hold pages in Beards of our Forefathers up to the light, or match up pages in Clever Tricks to Stave Off Death to create recipes for medicine — I love the idea of the book as thing, an item that’s not just a sum of words and pictures but actually something that gains power from having physical mass and occupying a specific space in the world.
Also I can’t stop giggling at it.
This book was released in Great Britain and the US in 1989, but is now long out of print. Over the last few months I’ve been keeping an eye out for copies in any used bookstores I visit, and also snapping them up when I come across them online. A few of you have seen me show it off at conventions — it’s the only product I’ve ever sold that’s not my own work! But it fits so well with the Wondermark aesthetic and sense of humor that I almost feel it’s my duty to give this now 25-year-old book whatever second life I can.
If you’re as tickled by this as I am, you can find used copies on Amazon or in other used bookstores (not around me, though!).
Or, right now I’ve got 19 copies of my own that I’m happy to offer. Mine are all used copies (as Amazon’s would be), and as such are slightly worn or may feature strange stickers — but not in any way that impedes the reading experience. UPDATE: All my copies are gone! If I obtain more in the future I will be sure to say so loudly!
Plus, if you order from me you also get a handwritten thank-you from Piranhamoose! YOUR MOVE, AMAZON.
The only difference between the British and American versions of the book is the cover design (I’ve got some of each). If you get a copy from me, I’ll send you one or the other randomly.
With Valentine’s Day coming up (and of course I still have Valentine cards for sale too!) this would make the perfect gift for the weirdo in your life!
…by the way, this whole post is NSFWV (Not Safe For Wilting Victorians)
We always keep an emergency stash.
Working on this years very heartfelt Valentine’s Day card. #art
so that's how it works
the circle of………………. uh
2014 new year brings new stuff! Like this music Video I did for Hell Orbs! All Drawn/edited/animated by me in a week. It was crazy to do and I loved it (you will love it too, I promise).
wow, I'm really out of it. I don't know any of these.
The Arvo Brothers have created a perfect Lego model of the most famous bike in sci-fi comic and cinema history: Kaneda's chopper from Akira. And while Lego may not make it into a commercial set, don't worry, the Arvo Brothers are publishing an online manual so you can build it yourself.
What a great mashup
X-Ray burns, Chris Panda
Continuing with the Hallowe’en theme, Chris Maddison has just posted this neat little transforming pumpkinbot. I would love to have one of these sitting on my doorstep to blast those pesky little kids that run across the lawn instead of using the walkway!
Due to popular demand, Chris has recently posted the following instructions in case you want build your own pumpkinbot.
hey dragon. you’re not supposed to be here.
Conception of Alexander the Great, Les faize d’Alexandre (translation of Historiae Alexandri Magni of Quintus Curtius Rufus), Bruges ca. 1468-1475.
British Library, Burney 169, fol. 14r
Yes, this may be old news, but perhaps a few of my readers won’t know about this. Horst Kiechle sculpts anatomical models from paper and you can download the templates, print them out and stick them together. Have fun. In fact I may have a go at this too.
Horst Kiechle’s paper torso on Flickr.
Here’s a YouTube Video of ‘how to load the torso’. Enjoy:
Government shutdown driving you to drink? Maybe now's a good time to drunk-dial Congress. Revolution Messaging, a mobile advertising firm that reps political clients, probably had some free time during the shutdown, so the team invented a platform that allows you to randomly dial a member of Congress and start screaming. The microsite, DrunkDialCongress.org, even helpfully provides topics and drink recipes. As a marketing tactic, Revolution Messaging has found a great way to keep its business top of mind even when members of Congress are out of their damn minds. The beauty of the platform is the random-calling feature. Because everyone in Congress is to blame when no one can watch the panda. Party politics aside, we’ve all got a reason to get pissed.
It just isn’t the same without Kaneda.
OWN A PIECE OF AMERICAN HISTORY! from now until Friday, you can get your very own STEFF BOMB COSTANZA PORTRAIT. each print is autographed by some jerk and available in two sizes.
there are buttons and koozies for sale too and all proceeds go directly to helping me apply for the winter Renegade Craft Fair as well as eating on a daily basis, which i hear is a pretty cool thing or whatever.