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23 Apr 11:00

WIWW: Interview: Hopeful Kiss A Pink Lipstick Life!

by Amy Fashion Blog

Since it wasn't warm for bare arm.

Silver Necklace~16.99 C/0 Kmart
Hoop Earring From CR~4.00
Stud Earrings Gift From Nicole of NYC on my Mind
Pink Prada Glasses
 Black Italian Shoe Maker Wedges From The Px~ 29.12

 Hello Everyone. The weather has become nice again. Which I love. So for today outfit I decide to pull my black maxi dress out. Which I haven't worn since last June. Since it wasn't warm for bare arm. I throw on this jean jacket that I got from Old Navy a few years ago. Which it  has been sitting in the closet for a year and half. 
Also today outfit make my 600th outfit that I have remixed. Since I have start my blog. It just show you the right piece can go a long way. 
Galaxia of Hopeful Kiss A Pink Lipstick Life!
 I got the chance recently to interview Galxia blogger and owner of Hopeful Kiss A Pink Lipstick Life! 

How did you come up with the idea to open up your shop?
I came up with the idea to open my shop because of my blog readers! Especially when a lot of my international readers would comment that they liked the lipsticks I was featuring, but that the brands were hard to find or very expensive in their countries. And no matter where you live, most companies don't offer the opportunity to sample a lipstick before buying a full size. The idea just hit me and I had to try to help! :)

Have you thought about add other color lipstick to your shop beside pink?
I actually have added a red-orange OCC Lip Tar to my shop! I'm definitely thinking about adding other colors from my best-selling brands, like YSL and Urban Decay, too.

What is you favorite brand of lipstick?
It's so tough to pick a favorite lipstick brand! haha But for luxury, I love YSL; for mid-range I love MAC; for drugstore I love Revlon ♥

  How much time to you spend on your blog and your shop?
Yikes, I spend a lot of time on my shop and blog. It's tough because I'm a mom, wife, homeowner, etc...but I love it. Doing this makes me really happy and it's like my "me time"...a little escape from the day-to-day stuff. I'd say I spend only 20 hours a week on it because I need my sleep! It could easily become a full-time job though HAHA!

 If you get a chance please go check out her blog and shop. Come back next week for a review on NYC Flirty 417 that Galaxia sent me from her shop. I'm wearing this lipstick in this post. 


 Linking up to WIWW(what I wore Wednesday) over at  The Pleated Poppy.
22 Apr 12:14

Jeff Really Hit It Off With the Neighbors When He Rented a Place On Airbnb by Bob Powers

Review of Andy, host of 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Andy’s studio was the perfect place for me to stay while I was in town on business for two weeks. A really cool, old-school NYC vibe. On some nights I had a little trouble sleeping; might have been I wasn’t used to the bed, but overall it was great!

- -

Review of Jeff, guest at 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Jeff was an excellent guest. Since this was my first time renting on Airbnb, I was afraid of how my neighbors would take to me renting the place to strangers. Turns out, they loved Jeff! They couldn’t stop talking about him, and they even said for me to tell Jeff that they said hello when I leave this review.

Jeff, could you elaborate on what was wrong with the bed? I’d like to fix any problems before you stay here next.

- -

Response from Jeff, guest at 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Tell your next-door neighbors, Deborah and Louis, hi back for me! And Mitch too! The bed was fine! It was just a little lumpy is all. NBD!

- -

Response from Andy, host of 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Hi Jeff! Thanks for your additional details regarding the bed. I’ve replaced it. I bought a brand-new, top-of-the-line, king size spring-foam from Sealy. You can check the reviews online. It’s the best.

Beyond that, all I can do is apologize. From the depths of my being, I am truly sorry you did not experience a restful stay in my apartment. Your sleep will be so much better the next time you’re here. Perhaps we can arrange the dates now?

PS: Deborah and Louis say hello back. As does Mitch. And my super, Hugo. They all wish you the very best.

- -

Response from Jeff, guest at 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

You replaced it? Ha! LOL!

- -

Response from Andy, host of 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Hi Jeff! So it seems like in your last reply you might have thought I was joking. To make clear that the bed has indeed been replaced, please go to the property photos section, where I’ve added several photos of the new mattress, including one with me sitting on it, holding today’s newspaper for proof of life.

Now that that’s cleared up and you can be assured of nothing but sweet dreams on your next stay, let’s talk dates. I’d like to offer you a preferred customer discount. Simply enter the code PLEASECOMEBACK when booking your dates for 90% off your next stay.

Deborah, Louis, Mitch and Hugo all say hi. Mitch says he saw you in a dream he had last night. He wants to know if you saw him in yours.

- -

Response from Jeff, guest at 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Hey, um. Wow. I really didn’t think it needed to be replaced or anything, but I guess that just proves what a great host you are! Don’t see any future trips to your city on the horizon, but when I do have one I’ll definitely consider your place again. Thanks!

- -

Response from Andy, host of 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Hello Jeff. Lot of changes here at 79 Second Avenue. You’ll note all new pictures in the property photos album. Your eyes aren’t deceiving you. I’ve done a complete overhaul of the apartment.

Since you said the place had an “old-school NYC vibe,” I took that to mean you might have found it a little antiquated, and that might factor into your hesitation to stay here again (that in addition to “Bed-Gate,” for which I continue to apologize). Well, take a look now! New paint. All the appliances in the kitchen have been replaced. And the bathroom has been redone top to bottom. You’ll walk in and think it’s a never before lived-in condo!

Just for good measure, I also replaced the bed again. Just to get rid of any lumps I’ve added from sleeping on it in the months since you’ve been gone.

I’d like to offer you a free stay to try it out. As long as you like. Whenever you like. Hope to get your booking soon!

Deborah, Louis, Mitch and Hugo all say hi, and they miss you very much.

- -

Response from Jeff, guest at 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Congrats on the renovation. I’m sorry to say that I really won’t be able to visit your city any time soon. Best of luck.

- -

Response from Andy, host of 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

Jeff. I pray that you’re awake and you’re online right now, because I’ll be deleting this reply five minutes after publishing it for fear of my neighbors seeing it.

In your brief interactions with my neighbors, you had a profound effect on them, Jeff. In some way or another, you enchanted them.

Deborah and Louis say that having you around made them fall back in love with each other. Mitch told me that after his chats with you sitting on the front stoop, he went back to AA for the first time in four years. Hugo confided that fixing the stuck lock on the door while you were here made him value his career choice more than he has in years.

You showed them the value of having a good neighbor nearby. And you apparently revealed to them my shortcomings by comparison.

They’ve been soooo mean to me, Jeff. Shoulder-checking me in the hallway. Emptying my clothes from the dryer while still wet. Spraypainting YOU SUCK, BRING BACK JEFF on my door.

They replaced the mattress. They paid for the renovations to the apartment, with Hugo doing most of the work. They think I’m preventing you from coming back. Every time you leave a new review indicating that you won’t be returning, they break into my apartment in the middle of the night and pound me awake by swinging towels wrapped around bars of soap into my mid-section, ordering me to leave another response to persuade you.

It’s not just for my own well-being that I want you to return, Jeff. It’s for theirs. Mitch started drinking again. We had to check him into an inpatient rehab when we found him outside, drunkenly caressing the step where he used to sit with you. I used to hear Deborah and Louis making love through the wall, taking turns role-playing as you, arguing that one of them wasn’t doing your Minneapolis accent correctly. Now they only argue. And Hugo is in prison for attempted arson after trying to rig the wiring to set the building on fire. He said in his trial that with you gone, the building is already a charred husk where once, briefly, there was joy.

Please, come back Jeff. I’m not the neighbor they need right now. You are. Please rent my apartment again, and save my neighbors from themselves.

- -

Response from Jeff, guest at 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

I’m sorry for what you’re going through, and for whatever part I played in these events, but I absolutely will not be returning to your apartment. I will now be disabling my Airbnb account.

- -

Message to prospective guests from Andy, host of 79 Second Avenue One-Bedroom:

I will no longer be hosting guests at my apartment at 79 Second Avenue. There is no apartment anymore. I gave it up. I’m hitting the open road, heading to Minneapolis to find Jeff, so I can finally meet the man who had such an effect on my building. I don’t plan to sign another lease anytime soon, at least not until I’m ready. Not until Jeff is willing to meet with me, and perhaps teach me how to be a better neighbor.

16 Apr 16:00

A Curated Selection of Wonderfully Gruesome Sentences from Wikipedia

by Molly Pohlig

if you click on some of these you MIGHT puke

by Molly Pohlig

Welcome to mid-April; or, that dark chasm of working days that stretches on with no holidays until Memorial Day. Joy! In that spirit, I've been hitting the Wikipedia hard lately, and these are the most gruesome sentences I could find. I consider it a public service to share them. I'm sorry.

Anencephaly. “The most common type of anencephaly, in which the brain is completely absent.”

(Even if you can stomach the first photo, don’t scroll down. Seriously, don’t. I screamed out loud at work. Similar precautions go for the following 25 entries.)

Belle Gunness. “Hack driver Clyde Sturgis delivered many such trunks to her from La Porte and later remarked how the heavyset woman would lift these enormous trunks ‘like boxes of marshmallows,’ tossing them onto her wide shoulders and carrying them into the house.”

(runner-up: Botfly. “Squeezing the larvae out is not recommended, as it can cause the larvae to rupture; their bodily fluids have been known to cause severe anaphylactic shock.”)

Carlos II. “The physician who practiced his autopsy stated that his body ‘did not contain a single drop of blood; his heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water.’”

Dyatlov Pass incident. “Some were found wrapped in snips of ripped clothes that seemed to have been cut from those who were already dead.” (In sum, this is possibly the best Wikipedia entry of all time, not to get all superlative or anything.)

(runner-up: Danny Lyons. “As Lizzie the Dove lay dying she was said to have told Gentle Maggie that she would ‘meet you in hell and there scratch your eyes out.’”)

Elizabeth Báthory. “Before being burned at the stake, Semtész and Jó had their fingers ripped off their hands with hot pincers, while Ficko, who was deemed less culpable, was beheaded, and his body burned.”

Flaying. “Generally, an attempt is made to keep the removed portion of skin intact.”

Gangrene. “The affected part is edematous, soft, putrid, rotten and dark.”

Helios Airways Flight 522. “They intercepted the passenger jet at 11:24 and observed that the first officer was slumped motionless at the controls and the captain's seat was empty.”

Iron Maiden (torture device). “It was anthropomorphic, probably styled after primitive ‘Gothic’ representations of Mary, the mother of Jesus, with a cast likeness of her on the face.”

Jellied Eel. “The eel is a naturally gelatinous fish so the cooking process releases proteins, like collagen, into the liquid which solidify on cooling to form a jelly, though gelatin may be added in order to aid this process.”

Katherine Knight. “She then decapitated him and cooked parts of his body, serving up the meat with baked potato, pumpkin, zucchini, cabbage, yellow squash and gravy in two settings at the dinner table, along with notes beside each plate, each having the name of one of Price's children on it; she was preparing to serve his body parts to his children.”

Localized cicatricial pemphigoid. “Nikolsky's sign is present in case of pemphigus only but not in the case of pemphigoid.” (This is terrifying because none of these words mean anything to me.)

Marion Parker. “Her eyes were wired open so as to make her appear alive.”

Necrotizing fasciitis. “For reasons that are unclear, it occasionally occurs in people with an apparently normal general condition.”

Ovalteenies. “Ovalteenies are round sweets made of compressed Ovaltine.’ (Shudder.)

Purgatorio. “The souls of the envious wear penitential grey cloaks, and their eyes are sewn shut, resembling the way a falconer sews shut the eyes of a falcon in order to train it.”

Quiricus and Julietta. “Julietta was tortured, and her three-year-old son, being held by the governor of Tarsus, scratched the governor's face and was killed by being thrown down by some stairs.”

Rat king (folklore). “It consists of 32 rats.” (Imagine that on the A train.) (Sorry, I have to go have a little sick now.)

Scaphism. “The condemned was forced to ingest milk and honey to the point of developing a severe bowel movement and diarrhea, and more honey would be poured on his exposed appendages and on his genitals to attract insects.“

Teratoma. “The tissues of a teratoma, although normal in themselves, may be quite different from surrounding tissues and may be highly disparate; teratomas have been reported to contain hair, teeth, bone and, very rarely, more complex organs or processes such as eyes, torso, and hands, feet, or other limbs.” (Screaming.)

Unusual deaths. “Garry Hoy, a 38-year-old lawyer in Toronto, fell to his death on 9 July 1993, after he threw himself against a window on the 24th floor of the Toronto-Dominion Centre in an attempt to prove to a group of visitors that the glass was "unbreakable," a demonstration he had done many times before.“ (Go read this page and you’ll appreciate how hard it is to pick just one sentence. Sadly, it’s been edited down lately, and I would be remiss if I didn’t send you here instead.)

Verrucous carcinoma. “This form of cancer is often seen in those who chew tobacco or use snuff orally, so much so that it is sometimes referred to as ‘Snuff dipper's cancer.’” (If you’re trying to get someone to quit tobacco, maybe show them the pictures.)

Who put Bella in the Wych Elm? “He found taffeta in her mouth, suggesting that she had died from asphyxiation.”

Xabi Alonso. “Alonso was regarded as a quiet and friendly person by his former teammates at Liverpool.” (Xabi Alonso is not gruesome, he’s an adorable Spanish footballer, but I thought you deserved a treat for making it this far.)

Yellow fever. “Bleeding in the mouth, the eyes, and the gastrointestinal tract will cause vomit containing blood, hence the Spanish name for yellow fever, vomito negro (‘black vomit’).”

Zelus biloba. “Zelus biloba is a species of assassin bug found in Florida.” (This is terrifying because it is the only sentence. Although I’m not surprised that it’s found in Florida.)


Previously: Imaginary Miniseries I Would Enjoy More than Downton Abbey

Molly Pohlig lives in Brooklyn and works in publishing. She is currently tweeting her way through Proust, all seven volumes, at @poppycockltd.

17 Apr 18:19

Happy owl Some images just hit the right spot. This cute owl in...

Happy owl

Some images just hit the right spot. This cute owl in his best red coat is part of a decorated page in a Pontifical, a book that was read during a special Mass in the church, often by the bishop himself. Having ploughed through a full page of big chunky letters, he was treated to a change of pace: a bit of entertainment in the lower margin. Hidden inside the colourful display sits the owl, who is looking, puzzled, at a bell. While the significance of the scene is lost on me, it made my day. Having been locked out of my Tumblr account for three days (see my previous post), it is good to be able to show you entertaining medieval things like this again. Thank you Tumblr Support Team!

Pic: Aarau, Aargauer Kantonsbibliothek, MS MurF 3 (dated 1508). The full manuscript can be browsed here.

17 Apr 17:45

Other Basic Bitches

by Maureen O'Connor
by Maureen O'Connor

"The concept of a 'basic bitch' is one that's been spilling a lot of online ink lately."


Basic bitch, a female dog soaked in ammonia.

BASIC bitch, your GOTO girl for code.

Bayseian bitch, one may infer.



BASE bitch, a female dog unafraid of heights.

Bas bitch, carved in relief on an ancient Roman tomb.

Basalt bitch, an extrusive igneous whore-faced cunt.

Basso bitch, a female opera singer with a startlingly low voice.

Basso-baritono bitch, slightly less startling but still pretty low for a chick.

Bastinado bitch, these heels are killing my feet!

Bassoon bitch. [nudge] Flutter-tongue. [wink]

Bastard bitch, a jerk of two genders.

Bastard bitch, a female pup whose daddy done run away.

First-base bitch, also known as the "sacker" or "cornerman."

First-base bitch, only likes to kiss. 

Second-base bitch, must pivot to make a double play.

Second-base bitch, horny but forgot to groom her pubes.

Third-base bitch, closest infielder to the batter.

Third-base bitch, too lazy find the condom at the bottom of her purse.

Basque bitch, forming a separate movement.

Basque-radical bitch, tossing Mochachino Molotov cocktails through your window at night.

Basil bitch, tasty with tomatoes.

Basilisk bitch, venom in your marinara.

Bastille bitch, sharpening her guillotine.




Photo via Nina Matthews/flickr.

Maureen O'Connor is an acidic bitch.

16 Apr 21:37

sarahsellaphix: jtotheizzoe: boop.

by annagoldfarb
10 Apr 17:59

sparkcas: all i can imagine is all of them doing the grudge...


all i can imagine is all of them doing the grudge walk and assembling like a damn transformer at the end of a dark hallway in the middle of the night when i went to go get a glass of water

10 Apr 10:00

Best Beauty Moments From The Delia*s Catalog

by Into The Gloss

Best Beauty Moments From The Delia*s Catalog

Circa 1996, getting a new Delia*s catalog in the mail each month was one of life's great pleasures—right up there with Hard Candy, Fiona Apple, or Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet. Print was still relevant, and Delia*s was a thing of beauty. Where else could Y-necklaces and neon, cropped sweatervests live in such beautiful, clunky harmony? Here, our 10 best beauty findings from an in-depth anthropological study of the late-'90s teen catalog:

1. Oh God, bUNs. Remember how everybody used to wear the faux Princess Leia bun hair thing? This is why we don't show photos of ourselves taken between 1994 and 2001.

2. On that note, sP!Key TwiStEd uPdOs. Never again.

3. wH!Te frOstEd eyEsHAdow. It was the only shade that mattered, really.

4. StaCkAbLe bODy gL!tTeR gELs, which were kind of like having Mariah Carey vomit on you in the best way possible.

5. WeT-LoOk cRunChy CurLs. Like you just stepped out of a a land where all the water has been replaced with hair gel.

6. sPl!T-sHaDE liPSt!cK! "It's two for the price of one, mom. Gah, just let me add it to the order form so I can get mailed in! Picture day is 40 days away!"

7. Painfully sTrAiGhT hAiR that's 50% post-Grunge, 50% flat iron, and 100% inspired by Hanson.

8. EmbEll!SheD bArReTTeS! Because we were finally old enough for these not to be a choking hazard. 

9. The nO-mAkEup mAKeuP. Truly, teens 20 years ago were Zen masters of minimalist maquillage.

10. Ra!siN liPsT!cK.

07 Apr 17:00

Light and Bright on NYC’s Lower East Side

by Amy Azzarito

dat rug tho

After almost twenty years living in a crumbling tenement building on New York City’s Avenue C, food stylist Toni Brogan and her husband decided it was time for a change. The couple embarked on a six-month long apartment hunt before they found this building in the Lower East Side. The building was constructed in the early 1950s by the Amalgamated Clothing Workers (ACW) and the International Ladies Garment Workers Union (ILGWU) as affordable equity cooperative apartments. Their favorite aspect was the building’s proximity to the recently restored East River Esplanade and the apartment is on the 16th floor, which gives it amazing views of the East River and of downtown skyline. With only one other owner, the apartment was in desperate need of some upgrades. The couple completely gutted and modernized the bathroom and kitchen, the entire apartment was fitted with new baseboards and more electrical outlets and they refinished the original parquet floors and stained them a dark walnut color. Once the architectural details were taken care of, it was time to think about decorating. Toni wanted the apartment to be an eclectic mix of old and new – filled with pieces she’s collected or made. As a professional food stylist, she’s worked with many great photographers and her walls are filled with their work. Thank you, Toni and a big thank you to Kana Okada for the lovely photographs! -Amy

Image above: The couch is the good ole solid Petrie Sofa from Crate & Barrel, it’s comfortable, wears well and we liked it so much I bought a second apartment-sized one to make an L-shaped seating area. I made the little lumbar pillow from vintage Mexican serapes and is available on my etsy store.  I had been scouring eBay and various online stores for a rug when this green turkish kilim popped up, and it seemed the perfect accompaniment to our collection of green artwork. The tortoise shell photo is by NYC Photographer Kana Okada. The Buffalo photo is by NYC Photographer Steve Giralt. The Cords painting is by Brooklyn Artist Eric LoPresti. The Franco Albini rattan ottoman was an $80 eBay score.  I have had two similar vintage slatted benches for years. They both were in bad shape and have almost been tossed out multiple times, but I sanded and re-stained them and they look good as new.

Image above: I didn’t want a lot of upper cabinets, and liked the idea of open shelves.


3Toni 4Toni 5Toni 6Toni 7Toni 8Toni 9Toni 10Toni 11Toni

See more of this Lower East Side apartment after the jump!


08 Apr 19:35

‘Private Birthday Party’: Rare Photos From Kansas City’s 1960s Drag Scene

by Erica Schwiegershausen

In 2006, artist Robert Heishman was poking around a Kansas City salvage yard, looking for material for an undergraduate documentary class, when he stumbled upon a slide carousel labeled “Jack’s Slides: Chicago and Kansas City.”“The first image I looked at was this picture of a man in a kimono that ... More »

07 Apr 00:19


04 Apr 17:00

Le Creuset Launches New Matte Collection

by Cambria Bold

~*~*~*my yuppie dreams~*~*~*~*

Pin it button

If understated elegance is your thing, Le Creuset's newest collection is right down your alley. The Matte series features low-sheen enamel for a softer, more subtle finish than you find on Le Creuset's other colors. So pretty!


07 Apr 15:30

Coming Attractions: H Mart Opens April 23 in Central Square

by Rachel Leah Blumenthal


[Photo: An H Mart, Flickr/Michael Kappel]

It has been nearly two years in the making, but the Central Square H Mart finally has an opening date: April 23. The Asian supermarket chain has one other Massachusetts location, in Burlington. A Chowhound user noted a flyer on the chain's website advertising the grand opening; the doors open at 9:30 a.m., and there will be Korean traditional folk dance and free gifts.

The market's food court will reportedly be home to Sapporo Ramen Central (which appears to be an outpost of the Porter Square Sapporo), Go Go Curry, and Paris Baguette.
· H Mart [Official Site]
· All Coverage of H Mart on Eater [~EBOS~]

07 Apr 17:45

DEALFEED: Ben & Jerry's

by Rachel Leah Blumenthal


The Deal: Ben & Jerry's annual day of giving out free ice cream — no strings attached (but often long lines).
When: Tuesday, April 8, 2014 (tomorrow), 12 p.m. - 8 p.m.
Where: Ben & Jerry's in Harvard Square, the Prudential Center, Newbury Street, and Park Plaza
Link: Official Site

07 Apr 17:00

Live Every Day

by Mallory Ortberg

Live every day with the confidence of a fifteen-year-old who’s smoked pot twice talking to a fifteen-year-old who’s only smoked pot once.

inspirationLive every day with the confidence of a fifteen-year-old who’s smoked pot twice talking to a fifteen-year-old who’s only smoked pot once.

Follow your bliss. Track its movements. Learn its habits. Hunt your bliss and kill it.

Do one thing every day that scares you, like drowning, or watching one of your beloved children die before his time.

Pain is just strength and energy leaving your body forever.

Treat everyone around you with the kindness  of that woman in your office who brings bagels to work every other Friday.

Live every day like you’re the kind of person who has a framed Breakfast at Tiffany‘s poster over her bed.

Love as boldly as a 20-year-old atheist coming home for Christmas break with copies of God Is Not Great for everyone in her family that never asked for one.

Go to work every day with the same confidence as a white barista with dreadlocks.

Fall asleep every night like Netflix doesn’t exist.

Every time God closes a door, he opens a window. Every time you reach the window, he closes it on your fingers. Every time he closes a window, the door locks. Every time God locks the door, the chimney collapses. You will never make it out of this house.

Forgive others the way you’d forgive your best friend at two in the morning after fighting during her birthday party sleepover.

Be as self-assured as a high school sophomore who’s had sex once talking about lovemaking techniques to a high school junior who’s only seen the top half of a girl naked.

Read more Live Every Day at The Toast.

04 Apr 13:30

Trailer Trash: “Discopath” (2013)

by Buzz

Attn: Swifty, Re: Trash Night possibilities

Hey, guys – are you looking for the hottest disco in town? If so, you’re in luck. New York’s hottest club is Discopath. It has everything: serial killers, short-shorts, tracking shots of Canadians…

And of course, lots and lots of disco music. This shit looks like De Palma’s Sisters downed a bunch of ‘ludes and had a panty-party with Prom Night. I cannot wait.


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03 Apr 03:24


by Tyler


Illustration by Kelly.

Illustration by Kelly.

Two nights ago, I went to my friend’s weekly one-woman karaoke night at a local gay bar. (She’s usually the sole performer, singing whatever songs the audience requests; I occasionally come by as her “special guest” and mostly cover the rap parts of the songs she’s doing.) That night, I had just rapped with my friend on Nicki Minaj’s “Fly,” and I got offstage feeling really good about my performance. As I was walking back to my table, a man approached me and said, “You’re amazing!” He looked like he was in his 20s and a few drinks deep, and although he wasn’t my type, that kind of attention is always flattering. I was probably blushing. Then, still smiling, he asked me, “What’s your gender?”

A bit taken aback by his sudden forwardness, I struggled for a few moments to formulate an appropriate response. What I came up with: “Ummm…hmm. Uhhhhh…”

“Yeah, that’s cool!” the guy said, upbeat as ever. “I just wanted to know what gender you identify as.”

About 15 seconds passed before I managed to say, “Umm…uhhhh…androgynous, I guess?”

After this incredibly satisfying exchange, we went back to our respective tables and never spoke again. I need to get better at answering that question, I thought. But, see, it’s complicated.

My gender identity used to be a lot more straightforward. If that man had asked me the same question last year, I wouldn’t have skipped a beat before proclaiming, “I’m a guy.” I thought I had it all figured out. I had made a conscious choice to be a man, despite having been born with what’s thought of as “female” equipment. I was so sure, in fact, that I was a guy that I underwent a lengthy transitioning process, involving hormone shots and close monitoring by a therapist, to get my outside appearance in line with my inner self—who was a man, no question.

But the big problem with our insides is that they’re always changing. As I approached my two-year mark on testosterone, I started feeling less sure of the choice I was making. I started to feel stifled by my chosen gender identity, like I was buried under the trappings of manhood. In other words, my outside stopped matching my insides, and that didn’t feel good at all. What had been a source of freedom—this new gender identity that I chose for myself—started to feel like a trap.

It’s terrifying to decide to stop taking testosterone after two years of getting regular injections. Even scarier, for me at least, was the prospect of facing ridicule from my friends and from strangers on the internet when they learned that I was going back on this thing that I was so passionately sure of just a few years ago. I was afraid that people would latch onto this idea that my transition was a “mistake” and use it to discount the validity of other people’s transitions. I feared the street harassment that comes with looking at all “feminine.” I feared that I would never look more feminine, that I would always be perceived as “a man” forever. That seemed horrible, like a prison. But most of all, I feared the unknown: Where was I headed? What exactly did I want to look like, or “be”? What if I was making a huge mistake?

All the while, I knew that a way bigger mistake would have been to try to stifle the inner voice that was telling me I wasn’t happy and that I needed things to change—again. After I took my final testosterone shot in June 2013, I felt a mixture of excitement, embarrassment, and confusion. How much would my appearance change, and how rapidly? What would people think when they saw me on the street? I was truly alone on this journey—no one I knew had experienced anything like it—so I took one baby step at a time in whatever direction felt right for me.

The first one was shaving my legs, something I hadn’t done in four years. Or, rather, shaving one of my legs, which seemed to express how I was feeling at that point: I’m in between, and I don’t care what you think about how I look. The next step was buying an outfit that made me feel good: a comic-book-print bandeau under a white tank top, black cutoff shorts, and black platform sneakers with hot pink satin laces. I was nervous about wearing the outfit in public, but my desire to look cute trumped my nerves. Wearing things that made me feel attractive gave me a little confidence boost, which was all I needed to focus less on what others thought of me and more on my own happiness.

One thing that made me happy was spending time with a great friend that I grew up with. She has always loved and supported me, and she was a great sounding board for whatever I was going through at a given moment. She’d check in with me almost daily, asking, “How are you doing? What effects are you feeling from the hormone shift? What pronouns are you feeling right now?” She felt like a safe person with whom to experiment with presentation and pronouns. And there were a lot of experiments: One day I’d want to be referred to as she; the next, I preferred they—as in, “I just saw Tyler; they came over and we watched a movie”—which is where I am right now, I think. Sometimes I wanted to wear a strapless dress with face stubble, sometimes a hoodie and red lipstick. Even though everything about me was in flux, I knew my support system was stable. I am so lucky to have this friend in my life; she allowed me to actually enjoy this process of discovering who I was and what I wanted.

I’ve now been off of hormones for 10 months now, and I still don’t know how to efficiently articulate my gender identity. That might seem super uncomfortable, and, granted, it does make for some awkward moments in bars, but mostly it is actually a pretty freeing feeling. The way I think of myself changes from moment to moment, and instead of fighting it, I just go with it. I’m learning to exist without analyzing every aspect of myself or trying to force myself to feel, live, or look any certain way. I love looking in the mirror and watching my features contradict one another.

Sometimes I feel like my gender is an optical illusion: Light me from one angle, and you’ll see a pretty girl; from another, I look like a pretty boy. I am neither, and I am both. Many people will never understand how I feel, but what matters to me is that I understand myself, even if I can’t find myself in words. The possibilities seem endless. ♦

01 Apr 21:30

Jimmy Buffett and Pharrell Williams Hung Out

by Lindsey Weber

Soul mates Pharrell Williams and Jimmy Buffett hung out recently and the evidence is on Twitter. The evidence is also now in Pharrell, who undoubtedly took all of Buffett's life advice to heart — from "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" to "You should totally open up a chain of burger restaurants named after your most famous song." Jimmy also told Pharrell that he loved "Happy," and Pharrell borrowed one of Jimmy's many Hawaiian shirts. I'm seriously waiting on this duet, you guys.

Read more posts by Lindsey Weber

Filed Under: music ,pharrell williams ,jimmy buffett ,best friends forever

02 Apr 06:20




02 Apr 15:22

Photos of the Day: “A celebration of those who choose to exist outside of the binary”

by Maya

butch photo 1

I’m loving this portrait series by photographer Meg Allen exploring “the butch aesthetic, identity and presentation of female masculinity” today. The project began with photos of her friends in the Mission neighborhood of San Francisco, and Allen describes her motivation like this:

It is a celebration of those who choose to exist and identify outside of the binary; who still get he’d and she’d differently throughout the day; who get called-out in bathrooms and eyed suspiciously at the airport; who have invented names for themselves as parents because “Mom” nor “Dad” feels quite right; and who will generally expect that stare from the gender police trying to figure out if they are “a boy or a girl”. It is an homage to the bull-daggers and female husbands before me, and to the young studs, gender queers, and bois who continue to bloom into the present.

See more after the jump and the full series here.

butch photo 2, woman with dog

butch photo 3, woman in hat and glass

butch photo 4, woman in suit with glass of wine

butch photo 5, firefighter

(h/t Buzzfeed)

Maya DusenberyMaya Dusenbery is an Executive Director of Feministing.

02 Apr 10:30

WIWW:Bang Bang

by Amy Fashion Blog

AMY. your outfit looks HORRIBLE. your hair looks pretty good tho.

Jw Jeans From The PX 3.63
Sperry Top Slider Wedges From The Px~ 44.98
Hello Everyone. I'm happy to report my sore throat is gone. Thanks you for advice on how to get ready for it on Monday post. The other day I decide to get my haircut and I decide to get bangs again. Which I didn't tell my hubby I was getting bangs. Due to I know he would have talk me out of getting them. I'm in love with my new bangs. 
Sorry you can't see my shoe all that well. The grass in my backyard ate them. Today outfit is a semi-remix outfit due to the jeans I'm wearing are new. My shoe are new as well. I got them in December. I'm so happy the weather is warming up. So I can were there. 

pleated poppy
01 Apr 13:33

Good news!

by Maya


Marble Gravestone

We won!

(Image via)

Maya DusenberyMaya loves April Fool’s Day.

31 Mar 19:30

Sign of the Day: Toronto Needs to Vote for This Guy

Sign of the Day: Toronto Needs to Vote for This Guy

Submitted by: (via Oncamera)

Tagged: Canada , toronto , signs , win
18 Mar 20:45

A Remembrance of Obscure Reality Shows Past

by Margaret Lyons

Me, my brain

I loved American Idol for a time. Project Runway. Top Chef. We all have seen an Amazing Race here or there, or a clip from Dancing With the Stars. I know a lot about The Bachelor for someone who's never been that into it. But some of the true gems of reality TV, the shows I look back on most fondly, are the really obscure one- or two-season wonders, the shows that barely made a blip on PBS 13 years ago, or aired one ignoble season on MTV back in the day. Keep your hits, America. I have one season of Legally Blonde — The Musical: The Search for the Next Elle Woods to keep me warm.

The Legally Blonde show is probably not the most obscure of my loves. That would be The IT Factor and The IT Factor: L.A., which aired on Bravo in 2002 and 2003. The show was a doc-style series that followed aspiring performers as they went on auditions, faced constant professional rejection, mopped floors, cried to their moms, etc. It was fascinating — and included a young Jeremy Renner. (The first season ends on his triumphant story of getting a real agent when his indie film Dahmer does well at Sundance.) The way reality TV in general and Bravo in particular work now means a show like that could never happen again; there was so much innocence in that series, but 12 years later, if you really want to be an actor, you're better off being on The Real World or American Idol.

Bravo had some other treasures back then, too. The network acquired the Canadian doc series Cirque du Soleil: Fire Within, which followed the Cirque du Soleil performers as they staged a new show. Some were veteran performers, some were newbies, but everyone was incredibly talented and interesting. How do you become an acrobat? How do you cast acrobats for both their skills onstage and their ability to work in teams offstage? How does something like Cirque du Soliel work?

PBS took a stab at a similar setup with 2010's Circus (also fantastic), but if I had to pick one, and only one, behind-the-scenes obscure circus reality show, I'd go with Totally Circus, which aired on the Disney Channel in 2000. That series was set at a summer camp and featured young performers learning the ropes (sometimes literal ropes!). Along with Bug Juice, another joyous kid-centric show from the same era, Totally Circus really captured the sensation of being at summer camp, the feeling of being yourself but not your regular self. American High aired four episodes on Fox in 2000 and then found a more appropriate home on PBS, and that show had the unusual strategy of giving its teen subjects their own cameras to record their daily lives and their "diary" entries. It's absolutely one of the best documentaries I've ever seen, though again, I often feel like I'm the only one who ever saw it. Same goes for MTV's 2010 If You Really Knew Me, which followed a community-building anti- bullying organization that hosted workshops at different schools. Each student was asked to start a statement with "If you really knew me" and then share something about themselves — and share they did! Both American High and IYRKM get at how well-crafted teenage image can be, and how misleading that image often is. The rigid roles of high school, be it prom queen or band dork or whoever, are rarely the whole picture of someone's identity.

Not every teen show is this holistic, though. At the way other side of things is 2003's Rich Girls, another forgotten masterpiece from the MTV vault. That show starred Ally Hilfiger and her BFF Jaime Gleicher as they rode on private jets and acknowledged that some people really needed to wear cargo pants because of working "in the fields." That same era gave us Surf Girls and Sorority Life, neither of which seems to have any lasting legacy whatsoever, even though both were so damn good. I'd watch another season of Surf Girls in a heart beat. They're girls who surf! Bring it!

I want another season of The Paper, MTV's 2008 series set at a high school newspaper. Or the 2009–10 performing arts high school show Taking the Stage. I don't understand how A&E's 2006 series Rollergirls is the only real roller derby reality show. I still think The Joe Schmo Show is powerfully subversive and could work again. I still think Model Behaviour, a British model-search show that aired on random cable stations in the U.S. in 2002, is the better, more interesting version of Top Model. I saw every episode of Showbiz Moms and Dads. (And, God help me, Sports Kids Moms and Dads.) I can't believe I'll never see another episode of Gallery Girls or NYC Prep. Intervention and Hoarders always got plenty of attention, but I loved The OCD Project, too, VH1's surprisingly humane, gripping doc series from 2010.

But such is the sweet sorrow of little-seen shows. These are my weird B-sides and bootlegs, my misprinted baseball cards, the stupid things I love in part because of their obscurity. You can talk about Survivor with anyone. But only some of us can talk about these kinds of deep cuts.

Read more posts by Margaret Lyons

Filed Under: reality tv ,reality rumble ,deep cuts

18 Mar 11:00

Anatomical Collages

by Erica


I was hesitant to see the Bodies exhibit when it first came to New York City - squeamish and almost nauseated at the idea of seeing the insides of the human...
20 Mar 10:30

Pin it and Did it: Monthly Recipe Bacon Cheeseburger Bombs

by Amy Fashion Blog


  • Happy Spring Everyone, I'm back with another Pin it and Did it post. It been a few weeks since I last did one of these post. This time around I bring you bacon cheeseburger bombs. My hubby find this recipe on Facebook and sent it me the recipe in a private message that way I could make it. The recipe come from Spend with Pennies blog.  I didn't use the picture she pinned on pinterest due to
  •  it is copyrighted. So you get too look at my picture. If you get a chance go over to 
  • her blog and check out her picture of these Cheeseburger bombs. These little bugger
  • are amazing. 
I did change the recipe up some when I made these. Instead of using junior biscuits. 
I used the the large biscuits. Thats the only thing I changed up 
with this recipe. 

  • Ingredients

  • 1 pound lean ground beef
  • 1/2 onion, finely chopped
  • 3 slices of bacon, chopped
  • 1/3 cup cream cheese
  • 1 tablespoon ketchup
  • 2 tablespoons barbecue sauce
  • 1 teaspoon yellow mustard
  • 1 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 egg white
  • 1 can Pillsbury Biscuits (10 biscuits)
  • 5 oz cheddar cheese, chopped into 10 squares

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

 In a large pan, brown ground beef, bacon and onion until cooked. Drain any grease.
Add cream cheese, ketchup, barbecue sauce, mustard and Worcestershire sauce. Stir over low heat until cream cheese is melted. Allow to cool. Once cool, stir in egg white.
Roll each biscuit out very thin. Place 2 tablespoons beef mixture on each biscuit and add 1 square of cheese. Wrap the biscuit around the beef/cheese and tightly seal the edges.
Place biscuits on a parchment lined pan s
seam side down. Put them in the oven and turn down the heat to 350 degrees. Bake 13-16 minutes or until lightly browned.
Serve warm.

19 Mar 17:30

Tolkien's 1926 Beowulf Translation Will Be Published This May

by Jia Tolentino
by Jia Tolentino

Almost 90 years after JRR Tolkien translated the 11th-century poem Beowulf, The Lord of the Rings author's version of the epic story is to be published for the first time in an edition which his son Christopher Tolkien says sees his father "enter[ing] into the imagined past" of the heroes. [Guardian]

18 Mar 08:22

alonzo1948: My cousins the best at snapchat and you can’t...


My cousins the best at snapchat and you can’t convince me otherwise

17 Mar 15:15

100 serial rapists identified after Detroit finally processes untested rape kits

by Maya


evidence boxes

There are an estimated 400,000 untested rape kits in the US. (Photo credit: Lonnie Timmons III, Plain Dealer)

Back in 2009, over 11,000 kits were found abandoned in a Detroit Police storage facility. After processing just 1,600 of them so far, Detroit has identified about 100 serial rapists and ten convicted rapists. Those perpetrators have moved on from Michigan to commit similar crimes in 23 other states.

Of course, Detroit is not alone. Nationwide, there are an estimated 400,000 untested rape kits. One of our favorite actress/activists Law and Order: SVU’s Mariska Hargitay (read her Feministing Five interview here) has been raising awareness about this issue for awhile now. Her organization, The Joyful Heart Foundation, has launched a project called End The Backlog to pressure cities and states to prioritize testing their kits. (She’s also producing a documentary about the problem.) And thankfully, 17 states have proposed new legislation to address their backlogs.

There’s a ton of reasons that the rape kit backlog is national shame. For one thing, as Hargitay notes, “One would assume that if someone endures a four- to six-hour invasive examination, that that evidence would be handled with care.” And while police departments say testing evidence is expensive and they just don’t have the resources, they’re making choices about which cases they believe are worth moving forward. Sarah Tofte, the director of policy and advocacy for Joyful Heart, explained to ThinkProgress, “They’re making subjective judgments about whether they’re likely to get a conviction, what this rape looks like, whether the victim is credible, and what the victim’s worth to society is…Ultimately, it’s about, does this victim deserve justice?”

In other words, if we didn’t live in a rape culture in which all but the most “perfect victims” are doubted, you can bet your ass there wouldn’t be such a backlog. As Hargitay said, “To me, this is the clearest and most shocking demonstration of how we regard these crimes.”

Of course, the most urgent and concrete reason we should be testing rape kits is that they can identify rapists. (That’s kinda the point.) And since most rapists are serial rapists, that helps prevent future assaults. The stats from Detroit are similar to those in other cities and states that have tackled their backlogs: Once New York City processed its 17,000-kit backlog in 2001, the arrest rate for rape cases jumped from 40 percent to 70 percent. After working through 2,000 untested kits, Ohio has found nearly 200 matches with DNA in a criminal database.

A couple weeks ago, the White House announced they’d devote $35 million in next year’s budget to grants for processing unopened kits. We’ll be watching closely to see if congressional Republicans block that modest effort to help communities bring rapists to justice and prevent sexual violence.

Maya DusenberyMaya Dusenbery is an Executive Director of Feministing.

17 Mar 19:00

Sorry Society

by admin