Shared posts

19 Dec 15:31

Nicki Minaj for Roberto Cavalli Spring 2015 Ad Campaign

by Tom and Lorenzo

Darlings, prepared to be BLASTED IN THE FACE WITH FIERCE.

Nicki-Minaj-Spring-2015-Campaign-Fashion-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (1)Nicki Minaj for Roberto Cavali Spring 2015 ad campaign photographed by Francesco Carrozzini.

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This fabu-bitch is serving up 21st Century China Machado realness and we are BOWING the hell DOWN.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Francesco Carrozzini/Courtesy of Roberto Cavalli]

19 Dec 15:45

‘Stephen Colbert’ Has Always Been Immortal. We Only Just Realized It Last Night

by Jesse David Fox

And now we ride the circus wheel
With your dark brother wrapped in white
Says it was good to be alive
But now he rides a comet's flame
And won't be coming back again
The Earth looks better from a star
That's right above from where you are
He didn't mean to make you cry

—Neutral Milk Hotel, "Holland, 1945"

After The Colbert Report ended, after those joyously weird 30 minutes of television came to a close, I thought about what viewers expected and wanted from the show's finale. What was the fundamental question people needed answered? And the answer was immediately obvious: Who is Stephen Colbert, and who is "Stephen Colbert"? Colbert must have been aware of this, as he ended the show with a revealing 2010 outtake. Jon Stewart, having just finished The Daily Show, tosses to Colbert, who is talking through a tiny gorilla head. It's silly and hilarious, but the producer won't let them use the take, forcing Stewart and Colbert to do it in character. Colbert's reaction is to parody his own parody. And that's the answer. Stephen Colbert is, was, and will always be Stephen Colbert, in one form or another.

In that moment, I finally cried, and you maybe did, too. I spent this week immersed in The Colbert Report: I looked back at the show's early daysedited together 49 former guests' memories of being on the showwatched more than a dozen clips of him breaking, and I cried. Why? I read comments to these posts where people admitted to also getting teary-eyed. Why? It's a TV show. It's a comedian who is not retiring, but essentially going on vacation. He's not even changing time slots!

Here's why. In the first episode of The Colbert Report, in the first Wørd segment (Truthiness, remember), Colbert made us a vow: "Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you." At the time this was meant to satirize the anti-intellectual attitude that many considered pervasive among the conservative media and in the executive branch. More than 1440 episodes later, it appears he has kept his promise. Unlike The Daily Show, which was tightly focused on reacting to the day's events, the Report gave viewers a feeling of the bigger picture. And through the character of "Stephen Colbert" — so wide-eyed and naively confident — we were able to personally connect to the news, and more broadly to the world. Severing a relationship like that: [loudly crying face emoji]. 

The song that played over the show's closing credits, which I quote above, was "Holland, 1945." A Neutral Milk Hotel song is not the oddest choice for a guy who had Wilco, the Black Keys, the Decembrists, and other rock bands regularly play his show. But Colbert surely picked the bittersweet song because, as he told Maureen Dowd in the New York Times back in April, its “strange, sad poetry” resonated with him in relation to the loss of two of his brothers and his father when he was 10. But after hearing it in this context, I kept on thinking about how the song is widely considered to be about Anne Frank — the person, the diary writer — and "Anne Frank" — the concept, the symbol, or, as it relates to our purposes here, the character. Colbert is an optimist in the face of darkness, like Frank was. With The Report, all he wanted at the end of the day, after hours and hours of usually terrible news, was to be the person you can turn to make light of it all. As he said, simply, at the end of last night's episode, "That was fun."

It's why his final episode didn't even attempt to stick one final nail in the coffin of modern conservatism. If anything, he did the opposite, dedicating The Wørd to the fact that everything is exactly the same as it was when he started nine years ago. (That "I promised a revolution and I delivered, because technically one revolution is 360 degrees back to where we were" joke is why Colbert's writing staff has won the last two Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series Emmys.) Things are always going to be how they are, and all we can do is have a silly time, singing and dancing with all our friends in the face of it. Colbert winked at exactly that in The Wørd, saying, "And if all we achieved over the last nine years was to come into your home each night and help you make a difficult day a little bit better, man, what a waste," but meaning the exact opposite.

And that's the power of "Stephen Colbert." The show ended with the sign-off, "From eternity, I'm Stephen Colbert," and that's exactly right. "Stephen Colbert" became immortal last night, but in reality he always was. Because like the "Anne Frank" of "Holland, 1945," he is a symbol, a symbol that is much more powerful than any one person. Stephen Colbert is a finite thing; he's leaving to host The Late Show. "Stephen Colbert" isn't going anywhere, because he is his fan's version of an eternal idea of the cosmic joke, their prism through which to see the world as an ultimately good, or at least absurd, place. He knew that and that's why he repeatedly thanked Colbert Nation last night, at one point saying, "The truthiness is ... all those incredible things people said I did ... none of that was really me. You, the nation, did all of that; I just got paid for it."

The result was an that episode felt less like an episode of The Colbert Report and more like a tribute to The Colbert Report. What could be more Colbert than throwing a tribute for yourself, literally looking directly into the camera and saying what your legacy would be? It was a tribute to the character. It was a tribute to the fans. It was a tribute to the staff, with executive producer Tom Purcell, who has been with the show since the start, getting a cameo as the guy who catches Colbert's gun. It was a tribute to how unparalleled the diversity of his guests has been, with everyone from James Franco to Henry Kissinger to Cookie Monster to Bill Clinton to an astronaut to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to a million other people joining him to sing "We'll Meet Again."  It was a tribute to silliness and how vital it is to our very being; how essential absurdity is in the face of the painfully absurd; how much we need Stephen Colberts and "Stephen Colberts."

That was fun.

Read more posts by Jesse David Fox

Filed Under: the colbert report ,stephen colbert ,this is the end ,tv ,series finales

17 Dec 19:16

Night Crumbs

by Michael K
allie

Oh my sweet lord

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Happy Hump Day! Here’s Zac Efron giving you “power bottom in a 70s gay porn” hotness  while holding a puppy friend – Popsugar

Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy’s matching black outfits tell me that they went to breakfast after a funeral or the world’s most boring goth party – Lainey Gossip

Okay, Kylie Jenner, the fun is over, you can take off that plastic female masking mask off now – Celebitchy

Viola Davis is Amanda Waller in the Suicide Squad movie – Jezebel

But what I want to know is, how much does Giggy Vanderpump get paid to wear those humiliating ass outfits? – Reality Tea

Oh, don’t mind Parasite Hilton, she just vagina burped up a lump of Zovirax, that’s all – Drunken Stepfather

That sound that sort of sounds like the corpses of cows mooing in pain is from all that leather stretching around Khlozilla’s giant ass – Egotastic!

Kendull Jenner is in Vogue again because Pimp Mama Kris’ maker, Lucifer, wants you to know that he still has a contract with Anna WintourHollywood Tuna

What in the name of a chola parrot? – WWTDD

Yeah and that’s exactly what OctoMom said until her checking account flatlined – The Superficial

Erasure brings strangers together – Towleroad

Jennifer Lawrence’s outfit is having an identity crisis – Popoholic

These Santas can slide down my chimney anytime and they might get a plate of cookies (or crabs) out of it - The Berry

Jennifer Lawrence’s new dude is either a director named Gabe Polsky or pizza – ICYDK

Hollywood: 0 North Korea: 2 – HuffPo

Here’s Naomi Campbell getting ready to bury dead bodies while wearing lingerie, because that’s just what she does – OMG Blog

This mother of political party opposites is all of us – SOW

The Interview isn’t coming out EVER – Just Jared

Feminism: Jane the Virgin learns what it is on Twitter – Pajiba

Pic: Pacific Coast News

18 Dec 14:20

MySpace

by Holly Hibner

Amp Your Myspace Page: Essential Tools for Giving Your Profile an Extreme Makeover
Butow and Bellomo
2008

Submitter: *Sigh* Well, where to begin? This sad thing was withdrawn from the Science and Technology section of the public library I work in in May of this year. Firstly, it’s horribly outdated and taking up good shelf space when we desperately need good, up-to-date books on IT. Secondly, its 292 pages are filled with information on how to add those annoying gifs and loud music to your profile page that everyone hated at the time. Finally, the stock photo of the smug-looking yuppie guy manages to be only slightly less cringey than the awkward use of the word “amp” in the title. It was never borrowed once during its sad six years in the public library system.

Holly: Was MySpace still a thing in 2008? Barely. This one was doomed before it was ever published. I can see having one or two brand new myspace books that emphasize its use in the music industry, but this book shows the MySpace of yesteryear. Useless. (And YES, those crazy background images and auto-play music files were seriously obnoxious!)

More From the Bleeding Edge:

 Flip Phone Fun

Cool and Cordless!

505 Unbelievably Stupid Web Pages

Find It Fast

Gay and Lesbian Online

17 Dec 15:25

Open Post: Hosted By Bruno Mars’ Gold Curlers

by Michael K
allie

1. GOLD CURLERS 2. The first time I heard this on the radio I honestly thought it was Morris Day and The Time and I'm so happy someone is making music like this popular in 2014

opbrunomarsgoldcurlers

Bruno Mars, the Puerto Rican Jewish Morris Day, is still trying to make wearing curlers in public happen.

The funky Hobbit works the “James Brown at the beauty shop” look in the video for Uptown Funk and while performing the song on the finale of The Voice with Mark Ronson last night, he once again got all Beauty School Dropout. Yes, your mother worked it better when she yelled at your brat ass in the booze section of the supermarket as she tried to find the perfect pink wine for the holiday party she hosted that night, but I am all for this look. Bruno really should’ve went all the way by wearing a gold housecoat with gold slippers and halfway through his performance he should’ve pulled off that gold slipper and waved it at the gold brats playing in his hard. This is pimp grandma glamour:

And hopefully for his next performance he really brings on the tingles by wearing these:

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16 Dec 16:19

Wisconsin jails pregnant woman and denies her prenatal care to “protect” her fetus

by Maya Dusenbery
allie

this is fucked.

Wisconsin has a law on the books that allows the authorities to lock up a pregnant person who’s used illegal drugs if she “habitually lacks self-control” and “there is a ‘substantial risk’ that the health of the egg, embryo, fetus, or child upon birth will be ‘seriously affected.'” Here’s what that looked like in practice for one Wisconsin woman

Tamara Loerstcher was suffering from an untreated thyroid condition and depression and had begun to self medicate with drugs when, in late July 2014, she suspected she might also be pregnant. Loerstcher, uninsured at the time, went to an Eau Claire, Wisconsin, hospital for medical treatment and to confirm her pregnancy.

After submitting to a urinalysis, Loerstcher disclosed her past drug use to hospital workers. But instead of caring for Loerstcher, who as it turns out was 14 weeks pregnant, hospital workers had her jailed.

Loerstcher’s medical records were handed over to the state without her knowledge. She was accused of “abuse of an unborn child” and had to sit through a hearing in which her 14-week-old fetus was appointed a lawyer. She was ordered to go to in-patient drug treatment — despite the fact that she had not used any drugs recently — and when she refused, she was held in contempt of court and sent to jail for 17 days.

One would think that when the state incarcerates a pregnant woman in order to “protect” her fetus, they’d at least do everything they can to ensure a healthy pregnancy — that is literally the only supposed purpose of such a law, after all. You’d be wrong. During her time in jail, Loerstcher didn’t have access to prenatal care and when she was experiencing cramping, she wasn’t allowed to see her regular doctor. She was told she’d need to see a jail-appointed doctor who demanded she take a test to confirm the pregnancy — even though the only reason she was in jail in the first place was because she was pregnant. When she refused, she was thrown in solitary confinement and threatened with a taser.

And Loerstcher’s nightmare isn’t over. For the crime of taking illegal drugs before she realized she was pregnant and being honest about it when she sought medical care, she’ll be on the child abuse registry for life and therefore unable to work as a nurse’s aid to support her son when he’s born next month. As Katie McDonough recaps at Salon, “In the service of ‘protecting’ Loertscher’s fetus, the state deprived her of healthcare and her freedom. Soon, it may also compromise her ability to work and support her family.”

Loerstcher, along with attorneys from the National Advocates for Pregnant Women and other reproductive rights groups, are filing a lawsuit challenging Wisconsin’s law. But remember: it’s not just Wisconsin. Many states are using various laws — from “chemical endangerment” to “fetal harm” statutes — to criminalize pregnancy — mostly for poor, drug-using, women of color.

Header image credit

15 Dec 16:45

Shedd’s ‘Pup 681’ Has New Name

by Andrew Bleiman
allie

Augh

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On Friday, December 12, Shedd Aquarium, along with ABC’s Good Morning America, officially announced the name of its female rescued Southern Sea Otter pup, formerly known as ‘Pup 681’. Over 10,000 votes were tallied from the “Name the Sea Otter Pup” voting contest, which took place between Dec. 2 and Dec. 11, and the winning name is…Luna!

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IMG_3298Photo Credits: Shedd Aquarium/Brenna Hernandez ; Video Credits: Shedd Aquarium/Sam Cejtin

The announcement was made on GMA and also during a special members-only event at Shedd Aquarium. During the event, Shedd’s animal care team announced the winning name and introduced the Sea Otter pup to the exhibit for the first time. The general public will have the opportunity to meet ‘Luna’ in person in Spring 2015 at the Regenstein Sea Otter habitat in the Abbott Oceanarium at Shedd.

Currently weighing in at 11 pounds, the pup is growing quickly and successfully reaching new milestones everyday including diving, foraging for food, grooming on her own and most recently the animal care team introduced four types of seafood to her diet.

The marine mammal team at Shedd provided name choices, which reflected geographic native habitats of Southern Sea Otters, a threatened species. The name Luna is derived from Half Moon Bay, the area close to where the pup was rescued. Shedd members had an exclusive opportunity to vote on their favorite name, making Luna the official Shedd member’s choice. 

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15 Dec 15:29

New England, old England, it's so confusing

by adamg

UPDATE: Oops, they did it again.

Ren Jender reports the US Postal Service delivered this letter to the correct street number (but the wrong street) in Boston. Unfortunately, as you can see, it was supposed to go to that number on another street in London, on the other side of the Atlantic.

14 Dec 21:17

Channing Tatum's Leaked E-mail Is Glorious

by E. Alex Jung

While the the Sony hack has mostly served as a reminder of how greedy, sexist, and racist Hollywood is, at least one gem that has risen above the rubbish: Channing Tatum's e-mail writing. In an e-mail thread with Jump Street co-star Jonah Hill, beleaguered Sony Pictures co-chair Amy Pascal, and others studio honchos, the Tater relays his joy at 22 Jump Street's opening numbers, which placed it second on the all-time list of best-ever opening weekends for R-rated comedies, or as he says, "WE GOT CATE BLANCHETT WIT DIS BOX OFFICE BITCHES!!!!!!!!"

The entire email is here:

On Jun 14, 2014, at 2:19 PM, "33& out inc C/O FULTON & MEY" wrote:

F YOU TED !!!! SECOND OF ALLLL TIMMMMME BEEEOTCH!!!! COME ON JUMPSTREETERS WE GOT CATE BLANCHETT WIT DIS BOX OFFICE BITCHES!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHA
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It actually went on for a lot longer than that, but you get the idea.

Read more posts by E. Alex Jung

Filed Under: channing tatum ,sony hack ,emails

14 Dec 22:28

Santa McSnakersons

by Brinke
allie

Merry Chrissssssstmas

W1ruLd2Well, now I’ve seen everything. (Reddit.)


Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Christmas 2014, Why did it have to be snakes
29 Nov 15:39

JP dive starts serving food again

by adamg

The Dig reports the Drinking Fountain on Washington Street has fired up its kitchen again, which it had shut after the city ban on indoor smoking drove away its food customers. And it's a heartwarming story, to boot.

26 Nov 18:39

Dunkin' Donuts Plotting 26 Locations For the SF Area

by Allie Pape
allie

:D:D:D

San Jose and environs will run on 13 Dunkin's.

East Coast transplants eagerly awaiting the dawn of Dunkin' Donuts in NorCal are nearing the finish line, as the chain has followed up on its promise of 1,000 California stores with a more concrete number for the Bay Area. Dunkin' told the San Jose Mercury News that it's plotting 26 stores for San Francisco and "the surrounding cities," and another 13 for San Jose and its environs. All in all, agreements have been signed for the development of more than 250 DD locations in California; most are in SoCal, where DDs have already drawn cronut-esque lines. The northernmost California location is currently in Modesto.

Also, while "donuts" may be right there in the name, Dunkin' told the Merc that their plans for domination in the NorCal market primarily revolve around coffee. "That Northern California market has a lot of big coffee drinkers," said a rep. "Coffee holds a special place in the way that people plan their day." Whether or not Dunkin' will be able to get locals to trade in their third-wave artisanal roasts for a light 'n sweet remains to be seen, but we'll keep you posted on concrete plans for Dunkin' locations. Expect the first wave of Bay Area donut shops sometime in 2016.

28 Nov 06:00

It Was That Last (burp) Slice Of Punkin Pie That Did It

by Brinke

920x920[I feel SOOOOOO Blorpy. More so than usual. I’m off tomorrow. You guys have fun at the mall. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.]

(A Grey Seal at the Lincolnshire Wildlife Trust’s Donna Nook nature reserve in Grimsby, England; Dan Kitwood, Getty Images; Seen on SFGate by Smedley.)


Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Blorp, Seals
27 Nov 03:29

Happy Pre-Thanksgiving, Everybody!

by Brinke

[We’re just actin’ like a couple o’ Turkeys! WAIT! We’re-NOT-TURKEYS! Just wanna be clear on that.]

kMx3hyv
(Reddit.)


Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Blorp, Thanksgiving
26 Nov 16:30

Photo of the Day: Paul Rudd’s ‘80s Hair is Everything

yearbook photos,school,paul rudd,celeb

New evidence has emerged proving that Paul Rudd used to be a lion.
A Reddit user uploaded a photo this week of Rudd in the '80s when he was at the University of Kansas sporting a wild mane, and it's amazing.

Submitted by: (via SmoothBread)

20 Nov 22:52

Oh, sure, like you've never thought about doing this

by adamg

From the files of the C-6 police district:

11/18 10:50am 239 Boston Street, next door neighbor caught pushing trash and leaves through victim's front door mail slot.

19 Nov 12:58

“So sick of feeling like I should appreciate this kind of attention from men.” | Lorraine’s Story

by admin
allie

YES!

The other day I was pumping gas and a guy was calling out to me from his car window as he drove out of the station, said Hi, I stupidly said Hi back thinking ok I’ll be nice. Then as he’s still driving he calls out “what’s your name”, I don’t reply this time. He asked me again, then said something about me not wanting to answer. Two minutes later when I got back on the road I happened to pull up next to him at an intersection. He sees me, says Hi again, and I say “that was very rude”, he asked “what is?” I said “You shouldn’t call out to people from your car, it’s rude and disrespectful”. He gave me a look of frustration, then drove past me as much as he could so that he was no longer next to me. But then as I drove by he said “I apologize.” I actually think he thought about what I said for two seconds, and that he meant it. I hope so. So sick of this crap, and feeling like I should appreciate this kind of attention from men.

I've got your back!
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17 Nov 20:00

How To Tell If You Are In A Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Video Game

by Felix Kent
allie

for swift

Somebody you have never met has been nursing a grudge against you for years.

You are tapping a sheaf of papers and looking smug.

You have no trouble balancing your career as a prosecutor with your career as a rock star.

Read more How To Tell If You Are In A Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Video Game at The Toast.

19 Nov 19:30

Rewrite of the Day: The Internet Reboots Sexist Book That Says Engineer Barbie Can't Code

Rewrite of the Day: The Internet Reboots Sexist Book That Says Engineer Barbie Can't Code

The book "Barbie: I Can Be a Computer Engineer" sounds promising from the title, but as many have discovered, the plot turns out to be a misogynistic disaster.
In the story (which was released in 2013), Barbie is designing a video game (yay!), but instead of doing the coding herself, she requires the help of two men (boo!). Because try as she might, it takes more than a silly girl with a heart-shaped flash drive necklace to do the heavy lifting, according to the children's story.
After infecting everyone's computers with a virus, and begging for help from her friends Steven and Brian, Barbie ends up taking all the credit for her completed game.
As a result of this discovery, the Internet has decided to re-write the book.
On the site "Feminist Hacker Barbie," users can submit their own take on the story, to "help Barbie be the competent, independent, bad-ass engineer that she wants to be."


Casey Fiesler, a PhD student at Georgia Tech, has also remixed her own version of the story.

Her main issue with the book:
The problem isn't even that Barbie isn't a 'real' computer scientist because she isn't coding. (I am one of those mostly-non-coding computer scientists myself, though now I'm tempted to make a game about robot puppies shooting lasers anyway.) The problem is the assumption that she is a designer, not a coder, and the coders are boys.

Maybe the new "normal Barbie" Lammily will be more successful at an engineering career.

Submitted by: (via Feminist Hacker Barbie)

Tagged: code , rewrite , Barbie
15 Nov 18:43

Photo



11 Nov 18:30

Dave Holmes Is Writing a Book

by Jesse David Fox
allie

YAY


Here's some exciting news from one of Vulture's own: Dave Holmes, TV personality and our “Somewhere in Time” columnist, has signed a deal to write a comic memoir. Set to publish in the spring of 2016, the book is tentatively titled Party of One. Read the full synopsis below. Mazel tov, Dave!

Charting Holmes’ painfully hilarious trip through a life lived on the outside, desperately trying to get in — from his youth as the artsy kid in a sportsy family to his time as a closeted gay kid in a conservative Catholic school, through his experience losing the first “Wanna Be A VJ” contest on live television and subsequent career as a big fat grown man at MTV in the eye of the teen pop hurricane, up to his life as a man in his 40s who has finally learned to accept himself, simply because he’s tried everything else — Party of One will detail every wrong turn that’s led him to the right place, and will take the reader on a nostalgic ride through the music and pop culture of the '80s, '90s, and '00s that shaped his journey.

Read more posts by Jesse David Fox

Filed Under: dave holmes ,books ,book deals ,vulture

10 Nov 20:05

Here Are the Lyrics to ‘Too Many Cooks’ — Sing Along!

by Sean Fitz-Gerald

If you found yourself subconsciously humming or trying to sing the words to "Too Many Cooks" this weekend, we don't blame you. There's no escaping the subliminal, hypnotic powers of the Adult Swim parody, which veteran scribe and producer Casper Kelly (Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell) unleashed on innocent TV watchers last Friday. Kelly penned the lyrics to the repetitive, cornball-but-catchy song featured in the video, and Shawn Coleman and Michael Kohler scored it. We've written out the lyrics below in full so you can succumb to their dark powers and properly sing along. (If you want to overachieve, we've also included the few instances of actual character dialogue.) There are a few voices on the track, but we figured you'd want to do it as a duet, so click play, grab a friend, and have at it.

Man: It takes a lot to make a stew
Woman: A pinch of salt and laughter, too
M: A scoop of kids to add the spice
W: A dash of love to make it nice, and you’ve got
Both: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many
W: It takes a lot to make a stew
M: When it comes to me and you
W: And him and her and the baby, too
B: Too many Cooks, it’s true
M: The saying goes, it’ll spoil the broth
W: Honey, I think that’s not true
M: Well, maybe too many Cooks will spoil the broth, but they’ll fill our hearts with
B: So much, so much lo-o-ove
Too many Cooks
M: A family is like a soup
W: Everyone adds an extra scoop
M: Mix an ounce of smile so sweet
W: A dash of cool to add the heat, and you’ve got
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many
It takes a lot to make a stew
W: Especially when it’s me and you
M: And him and Steve from corporate, too
B: Too many Cooks, it’s true
M: The saying goes it’ll spoil the broth
W: Honey, I think that’s not true
M: Well, maybe too many Cooks will spoil the broth, but they’ll fill our hearts with so much, so much lo-o-ove
W: So much lo-o-ove
M: They’ll fill our hearts with lo-o-ove
W: Fill our hearts with lo-o-ove
B: Too many Co-o-oks
Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Takes a lot to make a stew, I couldn’t face these streets without you
W: A dash of crime to add some spice
M: This city’s like a pressure cooker turned up to high
[Hushed] Too many Cooks, too many Co-o-oks
Some people say it’ll spoil the broth, but that’s not the American way
Too many Cooks
Too many Cooks will serve a helping of freedom and resist the forces of evil
W: [Operatic] Too many Cooks
M: It takes a lot to make a stew
W: A pinch of salt and laughter too
M: A scoop of kids to add the spice
W: A dash of love to make it nice, and you’ve got
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many—
M: Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many
M: It takes a lot to make a stew, especially when it’s me and you
W: And him and her and the baby, too
B: Too many Cooks, it’s true
Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks

[Woman screams]

M: Too many
It takes a lot to make a stew, a pinch of salt and laughter, too. [Man screams] A scoop of kids to add the spice, a dash of love to make it nice, and you’ve got
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many
It takes a lot to make a stew, when it’s made of me and you, and him and her and the baby, too, too many Cooks, it’s true

Narrator: This is the story of COOKS — Cybernetic Operational Optimized Knights of Science — defending humanity against Beast Rebels of the Hellscape. When it comes to the future, you can never have too many COOKS.

M: [Robotic] Too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks

Patient: You can’t talk that way. That’s your sister. That’s a fine how-do-you-do. Laugh track. Oh, look at the neighbors. They’re not gonna fit in here. Ha. Ha.

Male doctor: This is the worst case of intronitis I’ve ever seen. You can even hear the theme music.

Female doctor: And the thing is, we have no idea how contagious this strain is. Now, look …

W: A pinch of salt and laughter, too.

MD: No.

M: A scoop of kids to add the spice.

W: A dash of love to make it nice.

MD: Kill me.

W: And you’ve got
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks

MD: KILL ME!

B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: To make a stew
M: Especially when it’s me and you
W: Fill our hearts with so much love
B: Too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks

[Woman screams]

M: It takes a lot to make a stew
B: Too many Cooks
M: Especially when it’s me and you

[More screaming.]

B: Too many Cooks
W: Him and her and the baby, too
Too many Cooks, it’s—
M: [Subdued] It takes a lot to make a stew, especially when it’s me and you.

[More screaming in the background]

M: Too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks
Too many Cooks will spoil the broth, but they’ll fill our hearts with so much, so much lo-o-ove
W: So much lo-o-ove
M: Fill our hearts with lo-o-ove
B: Too many Cooks
Too many Cooks
Too many Cooks
M: Fill our hearts with lo-o-ove

[Laughter]

Dad: Honey, I’m h—

B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: It takes a—

Read more posts by Sean Fitz-Gerald

Filed Under: too many cooks ,adult swim ,cartoon network ,sing along! ,tv

12 Nov 08:00

Hot Slut Of The Day!

by Michael K

hsotdalterationsandrepairslady

The Alterations & Repairs Lady who has been a “fixing shit” mascot for years and years and years! 

Dlisted reader Liska dropped the Alterations & Repairs Lady into my inbox yesterday and took the words right out of my finger tips when listing the reasons why she’s a HSOTD all day, every day.

I would like to nominate the ubiquitous Alterations and Repairs Woman! This is the hardest working bitch in the business because homegirl is everywhere! She has been altering and repairing for so long she hasn’t had time to even change her blouse or hair since the early 1980′s! We should pay homage to this hardworking woman whose familiar face we know and love and never gets the recognition she deserves!

It’s rare when I walk into a dry cleaning place and don’t see this frazzled, overworked tailor throwing me a look that says, “It’s you again. I hope you don’t want me to sew another easy access zipper into the ass part of another pair of pants.” We see her all the time yet know almost nothing about her. She is as mysterious as she is hard working. That picture pulls out so many questions from my brain. For why is she wearing black lipstick? Is she a goth and is trying to finish her work so she can change into her latex catsuit and go to the club? Is that why she’s always throwing a “Bitch, stop bothering me so I can get back to work” look? Why do her hands look so enormous? Are they swollen from doing alterations and repairs all day? Does she use a Sharpie or a regular black brow pencil to achieve that immaculate eyebrow situation? Why isn’t she on Project Runway? Shit, why isn’t she the mentor on Project Runway? Does she hate Tim Gunn?

So many questions!

Hopefully Aaron Sorkin does SOMETHING RIGHT for once and answers all these questions in the greatest project of his career: The Alterations & Repairs Lady biopic starring Kathleen Turner.

10 Nov 08:07

Hot Slut Of The Day!

by Michael K

hsotdstrawberryhardcandy

The strawberry hard candy that everybody’s grandma, auntie and teacher seem to always have a stash of!

I don’t know the history of these shiny-wrapped drops of strawberry deliciousness and I have no idea how they just magically appear at the bottom of your memaw’s pocketbook. It feels like these have been around since before the beginning of time and I bet Methuselah’s nana kept these in her purse and gave them to him when he needed to be entertained by something shiny and sugary. The question, “What came first: the actual strawberry or the strawberry hard candy with the soft center?”, is not a question that can ever be answered.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen these for sale at any store, but yet they’re everywhere. When a teacher becomes a teacher, they get a packet of magic strawberry candy seeds so they can grow these in their apartment or backyard. When a memaw or pepaw turns 65, AARP send them a map to the hidden aisle in the Dollar Tree that sells these child taming candies.

But I do know where my abuelita got her stash of strawberry hard candies. Nearly every Chinese restaurant we went to had a bowl of these candies on the host table and eventually everything in that bowl would find its way into my abuelita’s pocketbook. There could be 10 hosts guarding that bowl of strawberry hard candies and an abuelita will still find a way to empty it into her purse without any of them knowing shit. Every abuelita is a strawberry hard candy ninja.

The best thing about being a pepaw or memaw (besides the fact that you get a free pass to yell at brats) is that when you reach into your pocket, a strawberry hard candy with the soft center magically fills your hand.

13 Nov 17:37

Hot Takes Board 11/13/14



Hot Takes Board 11/13/14

10 Nov 15:40

Your Tattoo

by admin

09 Nov 11:15

Doritos-Flavored Mountain Dew Is All Too Real

by Rufus Larsen
dewitosembedPhoto: Courtesy of Imgur.
Perhaps, you're the kind of person who thinks all food ultimately ends up in the same place, so there's little point in separating your dinner and your dessert.

In that case, we have some great news for you. PepsiCo is now testing the monstrous mashup of Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew, fittingly dubbed Dewitos.

MMORPG gamers of the world, rejoice.

In case you were wondering if PepsiCo's test kitchens had been momentarily invaded by the kind of hormonally motivated pregnant women who find themselves desperately craving maple fudge and horseradish at dawn, PepsiCo confirmed that its flavor scientists are constantly working on new ways to do the Dew.

"We are always testing out new flavors of Mountain Dew, and giving our fans a voice in helping decide on the next new product has always been important to us," PepsiCo's reps said in a statement to Quartz. "We opened up the DEW flavor vault, and gave students a chance to try this Doritos-inspired flavor as part of a small program at colleges and universities."

A Reddit user named joes_nipples was the first person to reveal Dewitos to the world, writing that PepsiCo had offered several different varieties of Mountain Dew in the course of a product-testing event. "I think the flavors were lemon ginger, mango habanero (also weird), and rainbow sherbet, which tasted like medicine," the user wrote.

Of the Dewitos itself, which was served at room temperature, the user said: "It honestly wasn't that disgusting. It tasted like orange, with a Doritos aftertaste. It tasted like straight Doritos afterwards, though. Weirdest thing I've ever drunken." The user added that the flavor was "like if you shoved a handful of Doritos in your mouth and chugged some Dew at the same time."

"Someone at the Mountain Dew design department was getting really high," joes_nipples added. (Mashable)

Like what you see?How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Your New Favorite Way To Eat Brussels Sprouts

The ONLY Pasta Recipe You Need This Fall & Winter

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06 Nov 19:00

Talking to the Top Female Filmmaker on Kickstarter, Bee and PuppyCat’s Natasha Allegri

by Abraham Riesman

Despite having zero Hollywood clout, no major awards, and little risk of ever being described as a household name, Natasha Allegri recently made filmmaking history. She raised $872,133 for her surreal animated web series, Bee and PuppyCat. Not only does that make her the sixth-most successful filmmaker on Kickstarter (bested only by Spike Lee, Zach Braff, the Veronica Mars movie, and other big names), it also makes her its most successful woman filmmaker. It’s safe to say Allegri and her series are cult phenomena.

Bee and PuppyCat is difficult to describe, which is part of its charm. It debuted in July of 2013 on Cartoon Hangover, a YouTube network of animated series run by a company called Frederator. Allegri, who was at the time working on the hit cartoon Adventure Time, crafted a two-part saga about an unemployed woman named Bee (voiced by actress Allyn Rachel) and a strange half-dog/half-cat creature she finds, thereafter known as “PuppyCat.” PuppyCat speaks in a strange, electronic lilt created not through voice recording but rather through a computer algorithm called a "Vocaloid." PuppyCat and Bee end up going on cosmic temp jobs such as babysitting a planet-size fish named Wallace. But the pilot episodes’ true charm came in the odd dialogue, especially that of Bee, who mumbles a lot to herself and involuntarily slips into weird voices. Again, it’s hard to describe, but it’s oddly compelling.

And now, after more than a year of waiting, fans are finally getting what they paid for. Cartoon Hangover will debut the first episode of the first full season of Bee and PuppyCat tonight, and Vulture caught up with Allegri to talk about dogs, turtles, and holographic Japanese pop stars.

The dialogue in Bee and PuppyCat is unusually, almost unsettlingly naturalistic. Which of Bee’s lines have you said in real life?
Oh yeah, there’s a lot, actually. She says “hello” like a parrot. That’s basically me and my roommate. When I used to live with her, we would just walk into each other’s rooms and say that. I think what’s really important to me is people talking like how they talk, so when someone is stumbling through a word, that’s really, like, a special moment! A lot stuff comes from how people talk in anime.

I don’t follow. How is the dialogue like anime?
At least in the anime that I watch, people talk and their conversation goes in a natural flow. They can talk about one topic and then maybe steer it to a different direction. People get easily excited and then become very — I don’t know what the word is, but they’re like, “[dour voice] I’m going to do that, and [excited voice] I’m going to try to look good!” They’re not preachy, but they will treat their emotion changes very naturally.

Why call the animal “PuppyCat”? Is there a real-life puppy or cat you based it on?
I want to keep talking about anime.

Okay! Talk as much about anime as you like.
So, when they come up with new Pokémon, they try to think of syllables that sound cute. So there are a lot of pa sounds or po sounds that have cute and short little sounds. You usually avoid a guttural sound. You don’t want to put a na or a guh in there. So "PuppyCat" is, like, pretty cute sounds put together. I wanted the word itself to sound cute and make you happy when you hear it.

So the word PuppyCat came before the idea of having something that is part puppy and part cat?
Yeah! Yes.

But you then had to come up with visuals for PuppyCat, of course, and for Bee. What was your first doodle for the series, and when did it happen?
The first doodle was right after [Frederator] contacted me to pitch. I just sat down and I — I think they came out right away! Bee got chubbier as time went on, because my style changed and I think chubby things are really cute. PuppyCat kind of stayed the same. I had to make him look like a dog with dog markings, but I think I got those backward.

Wait, what does it mean to have dog markings “backward”?
So you know the Shiba Inu? The one with the curly tail and little eyebrows over its head?

Of course.
I didn’t even bother to google it. I was just like, Oh, I’ll just draw it how I remember it, and I remembered it wrong. So the fur colors are reversed and the eyebrows are wrong.

Speaking of eyebrows: PuppyCat always looks so disapproving. Is he actually mad all the time?
No, that’s just his eyebrows. He’s, like, very stern, but no, he’s not mad. But that means everyone thinks he’s mad, so maybe that’s why he’s so stern all the time.

The most distinctive part of PuppyCat, though, is his voice, which is very singsongy and synthesizer-y. How did you create that?
It’s a Vocaloid, and a Vocaloid is like a sound string of computer-generated syllables that make sound. You Auto-Tune them, lengthen them, and shorten them to make sound. There’s a Vocaloid named Hatsune Miku —

Oh! The Japanese pop star who’s just a computer-generated hologram?
Yeah! Whenever I talk about Vocaloids, if I don’t hear anything [from the person I’m talking to], as soon as I mention Hatsune Miku everyone is like, “Oh yeah!” [Laughs.] Around the time she had started, I was really into J-Pop and then she started doing concerts and me and my friend Patrick would google the concerts and watch them on YouTube. Then there’s always related videos on YouTube after you watch it and you just start clicking and going down the hole of Vocaloids on YouTube. And then based on that, oh there are so many different kinds! I picked a favorite and I was like, If I ever make anything, I will use my favorite Vocaloid in the thing. And I did.

What’s the name of the Vocaloid you use?
OLIVER.

How much control over the Vocaloid do you have? Do you, like, type in speech for it to say?
If you type in a word, it breaks it up by syllables. You can change its pitch, but not too much. The way he says each syllable, that’s kind of how you get it. You can put breaths in; they recorded them like inhaling, which is really cool. You can time it as much as you want. You can try and get them to say words; you could pitch up the syllable to modify the word you want them to say, and you can have pretty good control.

[Editor’s note: Vocaloid construction and manipulation is, as you might guess from Allegri’s description, extremely difficult for a layperson to understand. Here’s a tutorial video, in case you’re interested in learning more.]

How long did it take you to make the two Bee and PuppyCat shorts that debuted on Cartoon Hangover?
The first two shorts, I think, took a year. I don’t know for sure. I don’t remember. I was still working on Adventure Time at the same time.

When it first went up, what surprised you most about people’s response to it?
How many girls were like, “Oh, that’s me.” I was super stoked that people could identify with [Bee] so much or even a little bit. That was the best part.

Where were you and what were you doing when you found out the Kickstarter had reached its initial funding goal?
[Long pause.] Shit.

You’d think this would be embedded in your brain.
I don’t know where I was! I used to live in this guest house and I think it was really cold around that time. I want to say it was still winterish and I had just bought these boots that were really soft and warm, and that is the thing I remember about that time most, these amazing boots.

So the main thing you remember about your Kickstarter victory is that you were wearing your special boots?
Yeah! [Laughs.] They never came off. Like, I was still wearing them when it was inappropriate to be warm, and I was like, No they are really soft, it is okay. But they were making me sweat. Like crazy, crazy sweaty.

Then after that, the Kickstarter went on to make nearly $900,000, which made it the most-funded web series in Kickstarter history. How did you feel when you hit that milestone?
I’m not sure. I just remember someone saying, like, you beat Video Game High School, and I remember being really depressed because I really like Video Game High School!

The initial episodes ended on this cliffhanger about PuppyCat’s true identity and whether he was a fairy-tale prince who went through some serious love-story trauma. Are we going to get resolution on that this season?
I think that’s such a large story that it is something that can be told over time. You want to see how it has affected PuppyCat more than you want a resolution to that fairy tale. At least I do, because I feel like what it does to someone is more interesting than the actual story. What it is for someone to live with something like that. But I mean the short answer is [you’ll learn] a little bit, but not too much.

But I’m sure you’ve had fans accost you and demand that you tell them how the cliffhanger plays out, right?
Yeah, and I don’t know how to answer it! All I can say is that if I told you everything, that’s not fair. But I understand and I want to put more.

Your animation style is very obviously influenced by Hayao Miyazaki. What’s your favorite Miyazaki movie of —
Oh my God, Kiki’s Delivery Service. Like, that is super easy because I watch it once a month.

I wasn’t expecting such a swift answer.
I love them all, but my favorite, my absolute favorite is Kiki’s Delivery Service. There’s something about how slow it is and how quiet and beautiful [it is] that is really special to me. Yeah, I think I’ve watched it once a month for the past seven years.

A final thing we have to talk about: One of the best parts of the pilot episode is the weird posters at the temp agency Bee goes to. No one acknowledges them, but they all have turtles on them and they have confusing slogans like “WHAT EVER” and “When life gives you lemons, crawl in your shell.”
I struggled to come up with what to leave with those stupid posters; I had so many, and then my favorite one didn’t get put in! [Laughs.]

Wait, what was the one that didn’t get put in?
I did one that was, “Burn In Shell.” Kind of like “burn in hell,” and it was a turtle with its shell on fire and it was, like, riding a motorcycle, I think.

Read more posts by Abraham Riesman

Filed Under: bee and puppycat ,kickstarter ,natasha allegri ,animation ,crowdfunding ,interviews ,cartoon hangover ,hatsune miku ,vocaloids ,cosmic temp workers of the world unite

06 Nov 17:00

Lena Wolff + Erica Tanov Collaboration

by Grace Bonney
allie

Ugh love

Tanov_Wolff_pillows
I’m a huge fan of artist Lena Wolff, so I was excited to hear from her about a new collaboration she produced along with Bay Area designer, Erica Tanov. Together they designed and produced a full fall collection of bedding, tabletop and clothing using Lena’s collages and drawings. I love the way her quilt-inspired patterns came to life in the form of pillows, fabric and bedding. It’s always interesting to see traditional textile techniques and designs turned back into modern clothing and fabrics. This limited edition collaboration will be available at Erica Tanov stores in the San Francisco Bay Area and New York and at two upcoming pop-ups: one at Barrow Salon in San Francisco on Saturday, November 15th and in New York City for the entire month of November at Michele Varian. Prices range from $72 for a set of pillowcases, up to $450 for king-sized quilts, so if you’re looking to bring some gorgeous new textiles into your life, be sure to check out this beautiful collaboration. xo, grace

Erica_Lena
EricaTanov_LW_byTerriLoewenthal__126
Tanov_Wolff_fabricstack

Tanov_Wolff_drawnstar_pillowcases Tanov_Wolff_abstractdahlia_quilt2 Tanov_Wolff_scalloppillowcases ericatanov_lw_byterriloewenthal__105 Wolff_Tanov_bed2

Photographs by Terri Lowenthal

Click through for more photos of Lena and Erica’s collaboration after the jump!

(more…)








05 Nov 00:00

This kid is going places

by admin