so here’s some weird Corgi mixes
basically how all female celebrities are treated by the media
Check the mouseover text too!
The core of market research is listening to people and then giving them exactly what they want. What a terrible idea! Have you ever met a person? Most market research looks like, “Yes, I suppose if this existed, it would give me fleeting happiness until I accepted it as the new standard and started thinking about death again.”
That’s why instead of market research companies collect loads of data of what people DO. This explains why people don’t expect to read instruction manuals anymore, and why the most popular operating systems are the ones that are nearly impossible to break. Every time you somehow manage to screw up your phone that has ONE BUTTON it sends that data to some giant server that stores the aggregated mistakes of humanity, which then tells the developers that some special someone out there managed to do the impossible and break everything.
It’s true, every click that you’ve ever made on a popular website is recorded, analyzed, and used to influence design decisions. Every single one! The same is true for dating sites, which means that lurking in their servers is all the data needed to quantify and calculate HUMAN SEXUALITY. This obviously raises some serious concerns, the biggest of which is why aren’t they using that data to make the sexiest robot ever??
Our development team was working on a content management system for a corporate client. It was a big system that administered units produced in a variety of languages and applications and, as a result, required careful user interface design and a lot of backend code.
We were doing a show and tell with our partially working system for a couple of corporate VPs to get their feedback on the design. We took a lunch break, and when we got back, the two VPs said they had something they wanted to show us.
They proudly presented a series of PowerPoint slides that showed where they wanted the buttons and pick lists placed.
Client: There, see? This is the arrangement that makes the most sense to us. Can you do this?
Client: You know, I really don’t understand why it takes your team so long to design these interfaces. We knocked this out in about an hour.
The entire team sat stunned until the senior programmer—a man of very few words—pointed to a button on the PowerPoint screen.
PROGRAMMER: What does this button do?
Client: Well, clearly it administers the training and testing selected by the user.
PROGRAMMER: If I click it right now, it will do that?
Client: Well … no. Actually, it doesn’t do anything yet.
PROGRAMMER: That’s why it only took you an hour.
If you’re mad about it enough to complain in 2014, yeah, probably.
American conservative Christians have a hilariously low standard for what counts as oppression against them and an unfairly high standard for what counts as oppression of anyone else
Niggas have a dinner table in Paris
A dinner table at night (1884), John Singer Sargent / Niggas in Paris, Kanye West & Jay-Z
actual footage of dogs when there are no people around
Pianophase.com is a performance and visualization of the first section from Steve Reich’s 1967 piece Piano Phase. Two pianists repeat the same twelve note sequence, but one gradually speeds up. The musical patterns are visualized by drawing two lines, one following each pianist. The sound is performed live in the browser with the Web Audio API, and drawn with HTML5 Canvas.
created by Alexander Chen
Marat State of Mind
The Death of Marat, Jacques-Louis David (1793) / N.Y. State of Mind, NaS
So last week I tried using a language analogy for a client’s project. The project manager said the project was straight HTML/CSS when in fact it was C++.
To help him understand the problem I used this analogy: “Let’s say you’re asking me to write something in a specific language, I am fluent in English and Spanish. Meanwhile, your project is in Chinese. Since I don’t know Chinese and it is not remotely similar to any of the languages I know, I am not your best option for this project. You need someone who is fluent in this specific language for the project to be successful and stay on budget.”
He said he understood and thanked me for my time.
This morning I received an IM from another developer asking: “Why is ‘so and so’ asking us if we are fluent in Chinese?”
Deez nutz refers to testicles.
I usually turn around on the last knuckle, but I'm still surprised how many folks don't know this trick.
Fig 63. To find the long and short months. 1904.
hahaha son this bread is huge
you’re not allowed to wear a cotton t-shirt unless you’re a true fan! do you go to the fields and look at it? do you appreciate the agricultural implications of a gigantic cotton industry? do you understand the harvesting process? name 5 cotton harvesting machines. didn’t think so
new traffic light color ideas
- purple: turn around and go back
- mega green: like green except greener. it means that you have to double go.
- cyan: apply your turbo boosters and do a cool drift or get arrested by the car law
- black: sucks you into a cyber vortex where you have to do a bonus stage road and collect rings
Uh, we all knew, but I feel this.