This is the one where Troi gets pregnant. How? Well, when a tiny beam of sperm-shaped light and a woman love each other very, very much:
"Dat ass" - this lightsperm
…the lightsperm travels into any nearby spaceship and impregnates a half-human, half-Betazoid woman…somehow. It’s never made THAT clear how this works. And you know why?
"Special" my ass
Because this is the new ship’s doctor!!! Uggggghhhhh.
I’m Feather Mullet and I’m here to say / I’m super stupid in a stupid way
I just love Bev so much that I cannot abide any interloper, ESPECIALLY one who looks like AC Slater is in disguise as my Aunt Mary.
Anyway, there’s not a whole lot going on fashion-wise here, so thank goodness for Guinan.
Thank Goodness for Guinan, Mondays at 9/8c, this fall on ABC
Without that platter hat and this electric purple drapery, we wouldn’t have anything. Thank you, Guinan. Thuinan.
Troi is like “I feel weird” and Pulaski is like “uhhhhh, you’re pregs??”
"I need to see the fetus as LARGE AS POSSIBLE"
If I was planning to have children, this is how I would announce their birth on Facebook, except with my own face Photoshopped over Pulaski’s.
Deanna reacts as any woman would - with this “WHAAAAAA” face and with a LOT of blush:
Captain, I can’t add any more blush. I CAN’T.
Her makeup is too 80s for the 80s. She’s ringing in the 90s with a BOLD lip and a STRONG brow.
Her pregnancy progresses HELLA quickly, so we get to see her on the bridge in this kicky maternity outfit:
A pea in the pod on the bridge
Deanna’s beloved Bold Box color palette is in full effect here, with a dusty teal that fell straight out of County Seat and into our hearts:
You can take the girl out of Jersey, but you can’t take the girl out of jersey (knit fabrics)
My main question is: why isn’t Deanna wearing this ALWAYS? THIS SHIT LOOKS SO COMFY. You know I love a jumpsuit but if I had to choose, it would be this bathrobe and gown combo every day.
Data, get the FUCK away from me
However, it appears that she’s wearing a top made of one of those blankets they hang up in rehearsal studios to prevent the sound from leaking out. SHOUT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE.
Okay, so now it’s time for the baby to be born. It gets graphic, y’all.
This baby looks really clean. Also, wise:
The secrets of the universe are contained within my fontanelle
We go VERY quickly from that baby up there to this little scamp down here:
That’s a wig
Ian (Troi named the boy after her pops) goes to Enterprise School, which appears to consist of:
I have a lot of questions about these puppies.
1. Were they born on the Enterprise?
2. Does that mean there is a mama dog on the Enterprise?
3. If they were NOT born on the Enterprise, where did they come from?
4. Did they come from the replicator?
5. CAN I HAVE A PUPPY REPLICATOR?
6. Are there ethical considerations about a puppy replicator?
7. Fuck ethics, I want a puppy replicator.
WAS I REPLICATED??? TELL ME, SARAH MCLACHLAN
Ian, who is now several years older than the last time we saw him, is wearing a beige nightmare.
I literally had a nightmare about that garment
Everyone is like “wow so weird that he’s growing so fast” but no one is THAT concerned except Worf, but of course everyone dismisses his VERY REAL SECURITY CONCERNS in favor of Troi’s cute kid.
Also, what is this kid learning/wearing:
Geometry lessons get WAY better when you’re on acid
I can’t see the print on his arms that well, but I feel confident in saying that I like it.
His pained expression is due to his beige catastrophe
BTW, this whole time, a PLAGUE specimen has been traveling on the ship as well. These are the safety precautions taken to protect the crew from the plague:
It’s called a Ziploc hat and it’s VERY in right now
You know that guy from a Wes Anderson movie. Look, here he is again:
MY MUSTACHE SENSES TROUBLE
I am seriously digging his California Casual hair.
Meanwhile, in Ten Forward, this person is wearing the letter Y:
As in, Y would U wear that
I do like that green.
Wesley is consulting with Guinan about his future while she wears a relatively subdued look:
Guinan, space nun
You know it’s serious because she has two collars.
So the end of this is that little Ian gets sick and DIES except not REALLY because he was never really the half human/half Betazoid creature we thought he was, he was just an alien who wanted to LEARN in disguise. It’s still pretty sad but also kind of funny:
I don’t feel well
I think I have disco fever
Please don’t go, my lightbaby
Bless you, lightsperm. Blightsperm.
PUPPY REPLICATORS FOR EVERYONE.