Shared posts

21 Jul 19:40

Samantha & Andrew, chesapeake bay beach club wedding sneak peek

by carmenwangphotography
Sam

Yaaayyyy soon!!

Coming soon…

18 Jul 13:39

“She was of the stuff of which great men’s mothers are made. She...



“She was of the stuff of which great men’s mothers are made. She was indispensable to high generation, hated at tea parties, feared in shops, and loved at crises.”
—Thomas Hardy, Far from the Madding Crowd

17 Jul 23:00

Some of You Might Not Even Know What This Felt Like

10 Jul 18:30

Steven Spielberg Criticized for the "Triceratops He Just Slaughtered"

Steven Spielberg Criticized for the "Triceratops He Just Slaughtered"

It's not uncommon for a poacher or hunter to receive harsh criticism and public shaming, but does it count when the animal in question goes WAY beyond the endangered species list?

Click here for a larger view of the top image and here for a larger view of the bottom image.

poacher spielberg

Submitted by: (via Dangerous Minds)

19 Jun 14:30

An Important Update on Frosty, the Tiny Baby Goat with the Tiny Baby Goat Wheelchair

by Emma Carmichael
Sam

oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.

by Emma Carmichael


Frosty, the Tiny Baby Goat with the Tiny Baby Goat Wheelchair, is now prancing around on his healed Tiny Baby Goat legs sans the Tiny Baby Goat Wheelchair. "It just goes to show," Edgar's Mission founder Pam Ahern says in the video above, "when you really are determined, there really isn't any mountain high enough to stop you." Pam, you're laying it on pretty thick this morning, and I'm OK with that. [HuffPo]

1 Comments
13 Jun 16:20

WHEN SOMEONE ASKS IF I WILL GRADUATE ON TIME

12 Jun 17:05

"A pink backpack set atop the feline resembles sliced raw fish"

by Emma Carmichael
by Emma Carmichael

Uhhhhh?"Japanese company Tange & Nakimushi Peanuts have composed ‘neko-sushi’, a photographic series of posters and postcards which unite cats and sushi": I have some ethical questions about this project, but the captions ("the playful scene transforms the red ping pong paddle into a piece of tuna") are top-notch. [Design Boom]

1 Comments
21 May 13:45

Tiny Baby Goat Takes First Steps With Tiny Baby Goat Wheelchair

by Jia Tolentino
by Jia Tolentino


Via Modern Farmer, please meet Frosty: a perfect little creature who was born with a condition that filled his back legs with terrible baby goat poison ("pus and toxins," according to the video), immobilizing him until the good hearts at Edgar's Mission equipped him with the most ballin' tiny wheelchair in the world. From the Australian animal sanctuary's about page:

Edgar’s Mission was founded by Pam Ahern and named after her first rescued pig, Edgar. Edgar Alan Pig, aka “the pig who started it all” sadly passed away shortly after his 7th birthday party in April 2010.

EDGAR ALAN PIG. They've got pictures and biographies for many of their rescued animals, including another wheelchair boss, a piglet named Leon Trotsky. And on a related note, Aeon's got a piece up right now about why we like looking at animals so much.

4 Comments
18 May 03:32

For you crazy kids that are still up… a gift. Or is that...



For you crazy kids that are still up… a gift. Or is that GIFt?

(thanks to Will Glover for the idea!)

30 Apr 00:20

WHENEVER SOMEONE ASKS ME HOW GRAD SCHOOL IS GOING

credit: Alan

30 Apr 00:00

Morse Code

Sam

LJ4EVA

Oh, because Facebook has worked out SO WELL for everyone.
17 Apr 13:30

This is Your Game of Thrones Thread

by Nicole Cliffe
Sam

This gif, for ever and ever.

1. DUDE. That fuuuuuuuuucking creepy lil Hobbit dude and what he’s made ol’ goiter-face Theon into!

2. Look, if you’re ever in, like, great peril in a circumstance which generally involves a lot of court intrigue, and the dude who obviously loves you sends you away in tears while pretending he doesn’t love you anymore, say “I get it. No hard feelings.”

3. I know Melisandre is terrifying, but, tbh, the Lord of Light is the only deity we are super-sure really exists and gets the job done, maybe we should all worship him? I guess there’s the funky-looking tree with the red leaves, but that’s not exactly up there with pushing smoke people out of your vag with the power to operate weapons.

4. There should be more being-hand-fed-fruit-while-giving-suggestive-glances-to-third-parties in all our lives. Let’s work on that!

5. Oh, right. RIP SWEEEEEEET KING JOFFREY MAY FLIGHTS OF ANGELS EAT YOUR GENITALS AND URINATE IN YOUR MOUTH.

Cliffe OUT, may this show never end, may it go on for thousands of years, and do not complain about Twitter spoilers, the books are a couple of bucks used and are written at a sixth-grade reading level if you are so into GoT that you get palpitations about hearing stuff while using the internet like a grownup fortunate enough to be born into the age of the internet. I set an alarm for five am to watch it before my kid woke up because I take responsibility for my LIFE.

tumblr_inline_mok8wkx7ru1qz4rgp

Read more This is Your Game of Thrones Thread at The Toast.

17 Apr 18:50

Narrator: And although the intervention didn’t...

Sam

Been waiting for this one!



Narrator: And although the intervention didn’t work…it turned into one of the Bluth family’s better parties.

Spring Breakout - 2x17

17 Apr 13:40

SEVEN YOUNG LADIES STAND BEFORE ME … BUT I ONLY HAVE SIX PHOTOS...



SEVEN YOUNG LADIES STAND BEFORE ME … BUT I ONLY HAVE SIX PHOTOS IN MY HANDS.

AND THESE PHOTOS … REPRESENT THE GIRLS … WHO ARE STILL IN THE RUNNING TOWARD BECOMING … AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL.

I’M KIDDING, OBVIOUSLY. NONE OF YOU ARE TALL ENOUGH FOR RUNWAY WORK, PLUS I DON’T HAVE HANDS. NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND GO PLAY IN THE YARD. I NEED TO TAKE A LITTLE NAP.

14 Apr 21:51

Did somebody say… WONDER?



Did somebody say… WONDER?

08 Apr 20:00

The "Real" Rosie the Riveters

by Emma Carmichael
by Emma Carmichael

I come across these "real" Rosie the Riveter photos from the Library of Congress on Flickr about once a week, and I'm almost always tempted to use them in every Hairpin post, regardless of the topic—but now I don't even have to, because they're all in one place, thanks to Stuff Mom Never Told You.

1 Comments
31 Mar 19:00

Just A Normal Teen: My Best-Selling YA Novel

by Mallory Ortberg

train2Previously: It’s a bunch of years after The War and everything is different.

It was the first day of school and the last day of my sixteenth year. It was also the last day before everything changed, which made tomorrow the first day that everything was different, and also my birthday. Nothing ever changes in this town, until the day everything changed for good. I’ve lived in this town my whole life, and everything’s always been the same, only it turns out that everything I thought was normal wasn’t normal at all, not even me. I’m just a regular kid, or am I.

I’d been having those dreams again. The dreams that started after my parents’ accident, and then went away for a long time, but now they’re back, and this time there’s a girl in them.

“I’ve been having those dreams again,” I told my mother-figure, who was my aunt or my nanny or my Amma or Auntie Rose or something who’s always lived with us since my mom died in that accident, or what I thought was an accident until today. “There’s a girl in them.” She made me eat fifteen pancakes.

“Your room is too messy,” she said lovingly, then made me a thousand more pancakes. She did it for free because she loves me a lot and she doesn’t need a job. “Keep that music down!” I smiled but I didn’t turn the music down, because we have that kind of a relationship where she understands.

My best friend from always picked me up in his beat-up old truck he’s always fixing but never really fixed. “Man, nothing sure ever changes in this town,” he said, “and I’m in a comically lousy band that never gets any better no matter how hard we practice.”

“Oh for sure,” I agreed.

The girl from my dream was at school now, in a real human body, and we had class together, and we were lab partners in it, and we had a mystical connection. Her eyes were green in a really specific way. Other people’s eyes are green sometimes, but not like the way her eyes were green.

Her hair smelled good, like some kind of fruit and also one kind of herb. “Your hair smells good, like some kind of fruit and also one kind of herb,” I told her.

“Thanks,” she said. “I washed it.”

It’s really hard for me to trust people,” I said.

“Me too,” she said.

“Want to trust me, though?” I asked.

“Okay,” she said.

“Do you want to go to that one place all the teens in town usually go,” my best friend asked me after school. “Not today,” I told him. “Today is different.”

“I met that girl today,” I told my aunt-mom later that afternoon. “She’s real.” My aunt-mom sighed. “I guess it’s time we finally told you the truth.” She finally told me the truth, and I had to spend some time accepting it. It changed everything I thought I knew. Who could I even trust now?

“The locket I’ve had ever since I was a baby?” I said, wearing my favorite pair of beat-up Converse sneakers. “But what does that have to do with the prophecy?” It turns out, pretty much everything.

“But I don’t have any cousins,” I said. My dad, who I thought had just given up on life after my mom died but it turns out was actually protecting me from a terrible secret, shook his head. “You have more cousins than you could possibly have imagined, and they’re all terrible. You come from a long line of terrible, magical people.”

“But I’m just a regular teen,” I cried. “My room is messy and I like cereal.”

“Blue for fate and turned too late,” said the sexy witch, and then I passed out for a while, from the magic, because I’m just a regular teen and I’m really not used to this kind of thing. It’s hard to believe that just an hour ago I still cared about things like tests and bands and human problems.

“Let’s fight the thing together,” said my best friend, who found out about all the magic prophecy stuff even later than I did but was remarkably laid-back about it. His name was Colin, if I forgot to mention that before.

“Are you sure?” I asked. This wasn’t really his battle.

“Yeah,” he said, and then he sacrificed himself for me in a really understated way.

“You have two choices, and they’re both terrible,” the sexy witch told that girl who was my lab partner and in my dreams sometimes whose name it turned out was Elena and she’s my girlfriend now.

“No, I don’t, I have a million choices, and they’re all mine,” Elena said, and I was so proud of her, and then she picked a third thing to do that I didn’t even realize was a choice and she totally blew their false choices out of the water.

Finally Elena was safe and things were back to normal. It had already been a year since all the things started happening. “I’d sure like it if things stayed boring around here for a little while,” I said, kind of laughing but also kind of meaning it. Tomorrow I’d be eighteen. “What’s on the porch,” I said, “another prophecy?” It was.

The second prophecy was even more intense than the first one, and introduced a lot of new rules I didn’t even know existed, but everyone else seemed to kind of already know about them. But you know what? We’re a misfit band of teens who will do anything for each other now, like stand up to that town bully who’s not even scary to us anymore, now that we’ve faced pure evil and lived.

Sure, we’re a little strange. Elena’s a cursed half-Morgana. Colin’s lost his legs, but not his sense of humor. Me I’m just a regular teen. But I wouldn’t have things any other way.

Things were going to keep happening to us for at least three books and four movies, but at least we’d realized we were a family now.

Read more Just A Normal Teen: My Best-Selling YA Novel at The Toast.

24 Mar 16:45

A Butt Load Means 491 Liters

by Jia Tolentino
Sam

Just in case you want to be technical about it.

by Jia Tolentino

Asks Merriam-Webster:

Well, the quote is "Kobe, how my ass taste?" and I read it in the New Yorker, if such a thing is to be believed. But now I am even more shocked by the fact that I did not know the official liquid capacity of one of these "butts," which according to 14th-century booze makers was:

A measure equal to 108 imperial gallons (491 liters).

So every time I have used "butt load" in my life I have been not just crass but exaggerating.

3 Comments
14 Mar 16:33

I GOT A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH OUT HERE. ALUMINUM … ASH...



I GOT A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH OUT HERE. ALUMINUM … ASH … LIKE YOU CAN … SMELL THE PSYCHOSPHERE.

I GOT AN IDEA. LET’S MAKE THE LOG A PLACE OF SILENT REFLECTION FROM NOW ON, OKAY?

27 Feb 23:01

AFTER SPENDING FIVE HOURS WORKING ON EXCEL

credit: Nerdbert

13 Feb 07:00

The Red Wedding Cake You’ve Been Dying For

by Cassandra

Famous chocolaterie Choccywoccydoodah based in Brighton, UK was given the bloody honor to create a ‘red wedding’ cake to mark the release of Game of Thrones season 3 on DVD and Blu-ray. Maisie Williams, who plays Arya Stark, was the first to slice into the amazing creation which took over 20 hours to make and was filled with rum, raisins, and of course, more chocolate. 

Plunging into the all white cake were daggers, swords and arrows all made of chocolate oozing with red chocolate blood (yum).


via Digital Spy

 

The post The Red Wedding Cake You’ve Been Dying For appeared first on When Geeks Wed.

05 Feb 18:00

The Ron Weasley Diaries

by Mallory Ortberg

ronAfter last week’s startling announcement about Ron and Hermione’s relationship, J.K. Rowling surprised the world again today by releasing, in full, “The Ron Weasley Diaries,” which narrate the Harry Potter series through the eyes of his best friend. The Toast has been authorized to excerpt these diaries in part below.

Dear Diary,

My name is Ron Weasley and I have one friend. I think friends are better than brothers. I don’t think brothers are very good at all. I am eleven years old and I have never had guacomole even though I would like to. Today we are starting school and I still don’t know what math is.

 

Dear Diary,

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that all animals aren’t just old men in disguise. Mom got a cat over the holidays and she won’t understand why I won’t let it in the bedroom. I’m sure it’s just a cat. I’m mostly sure it’s just a cat.

 

Dear Diary,

Why do you think there’s a wizard train but no wizard planes? I asked Mom but she just yelled something about a witch named Margaret Thatcher who murdered all the unionists and then started crying into her apron.

I should like to fly on a wizard plane.

 

Dear Diary,

Today I learned that England has a queen. Her name is lizzie (Sp?) and she makes dogs. Still no one will tell me what math is.

P.S. Now I have two friends ;)

 

Dear Diary,

Today I met a girl from France. Guess what? They don’t speak any English there, mostly just French all the time. Can you believe it. Well believe it, because it’s true, unless they were lying. I wonder if they think in French too. That seems awfully difficult, but maybe it’s easier to think in French if you’ve had a lot of practice.

I think I’d like to have sex someday.

 

Dear Diary,

I have finally tried gaucamole!!! It wasn’t very good though. Mostly it is a green mash that you dip tortillas in. It was very cold and it went all brown after a few minutes.

I don’t think I like guacamale.

 

Dear Diary,

Today we take to the woods, Harry and Hermione and I. We can’t tell anyone. I don’t know if we’re going to come back. So many people want us dead.

I don’t want to die. I’ve never even seen a movie. Seventeen years old and I’ve never seen a movie and I still don’t know what math is. Hermione says it’s called maths, but that doesn’t explain much. I don’t even know how many maths there are. Well diary, if I don’t die I will write back as soon as I find out what maths are.

Ron Weasley never wrote in this journal again. 

Read more The Ron Weasley Diaries at The Toast.

04 Feb 15:00

Who Is "You"? (Mad)

by Emma Carmichael
by Emma Carmichael

One Daily Double, in which he wagered just $5, was particularly strange. Arthur's searching landed him a Daily Double in a sports category, a topic he knew nothing about. (Ever the joker, he tweeted he'd rather have sex with his wife than learn about sports). Most contestants will avoid their topics of weakness, but not Arthur. Instead, he wagered just $5 on the sports question, effectively making its specifics irrelevant. Trebek and the audience giggled, and when the question came, Arthur immediately blurted out "I don't know." But that wasn't a waste of a Daily Double, as he kept that question out of the hands of the other contestants. Winning in Jeopardy just means beating the other two, and this strategy made that possible.

The Wire introduces us to Arthur Chu, the Jeopardy contestant who's pissed off a lot of devotees by using game theory strategy to advance in three consecutive episodes. Hope he writes "YOU MAD?" on his Final Jeopardy wager soon. Mallory, what say you? [The Wire, Mental Floss]
4 Comments
28 Jan 19:00

Mexico's Outfits for the 2014 Sochi Olympics Are Totally Insane

Sam

Mexicoooo for the win!

Submitted by: Unknown

27 Jan 18:30

Book Cover Battles, U.S. vs U.K.

by Jia Tolentino
by Jia Tolentino

The Millions has done another cross-pond cover comparison using the novels featured in the Morning News Tournament of Books; this year, unusually, I like the American version better every time. If you're killing time today, here's their comparison from 2013 (I love that weird cranberry jelly on the U.S. version of May We Be Forgiven), and 2012 (the British Cat's Table takes it), and 2011 (Freedom!), and 2010.

2 Comments
08 Jan 17:45

Your Ontological Nightmare of the Week

by Jia Tolentino
by Jia Tolentino

Which headline is real? What is the meaningful difference between the fake and the real in this case? What are the modes of becoming and being in the realm of clickbait? What will happen to a certain blogger if someone submits one of her headlines to Headlines Against Humanity? At what point will she cease to be? [HAH]

2 Comments
08 Jan 16:15

What Is: The Relationship Between Jeopardy and Uptalk?

by Jia Tolentino
by Jia Tolentino

At the Smithsonian Magazine, Jessica Gross writes about sociologist Thomas Linneman's analysis of uptalk through the delightful-sounding study of "100 episodes of Jeopardy!, which he watched mostly in the evenings, on his couch with his dog at his feet." You will likely find Linneman's conclusion unsurprising: uptalk "might serve to reinforce existing gender norms."

Women uptalked more than one and a half times as often as men. Perhaps signaling a lack of confidence, uptalk was also much more common for incorrect answers as correct ones. Women answering incorrectly uptalked a whopping 76 percent of the time.

But then the analysis gets interesting: While men who were $10,000 ahead of their nearest competitors uptalked less than men who were $10,000 behind, women in the lead uptalked more frequently than their losing female counterparts. And while men correcting other men uptalked less often, their uptalk frequency more than doubled if they were correcting a woman’s answer.

Women’s uptalk doesn’t just indicate uncertainty, Linneman concludes; it’s also meant to compensate for success. Men, on the other hand, don’t want to seem uncertain around other men, but use uptalk when correcting women as “a weird form of chivalry,” he says. “They’re in a public arena, they’re telling a woman [she’s] wrong, and they know they have to be careful about how they do it.”

There is a theory about how uptalk became popular in Australia and New Zealand in the '50s, and then spread westward in the States in the '80s. But one linguist at Penn says that "uptalk has probably been the default pattern of speech for a thousand years or so in some varieties of English in the British Isles," and that people often also use uptalk to order multiple food items. "For example: I want two poppy seed bagels? One sesame? And a pound of lox?" That's probably better than I sound normally? Which is like, I'll take everything, bye? [Smithsonian]

3 Comments
12 Dec 06:47

In a Word

by Greg Ross

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Filloeul_the023251.jpg

theic
n. one addicted to immoderate tea-drinking

04 Dec 17:45

The People Have Spoken, and The People Want SWANTS

by Katy and Katie
by Katy and Katie

Today: SWANTS (pants made from a sweater)

Previously: Turkey Cakes

Katie is a producer in Texas. Katy is a copywriter in California. They are best friends who met at piano lessons in the early 18th century. In “Just The Tips,” Katy and Katie heed the siren song of “best life” advice in the realms of fashion, makeup, DIY, crafts, and home decor. Their efforts are met with only varying degrees of success; their spirits remain suspiciously undefeated. Follow them on Twitter and Tumblr.

26 Comments
15 Nov 16:01

WHEN I DISCOVER A NEW TRICK IN EXCEL

image

credit: sartorialscientist