that moment when your friend is on a meme account you follow and you feel like whoever is writing your part of the simulation is just lazy
Lollybagscreations
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that moment when your friend is on a meme account you follow and you feel like whoever is writing…
Honestly? They had me at “Trump dies”.
It’s gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.
- Naturally everybody will think it’s fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it’s real
- There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable “don’t speak ill of the dead” discourse about those celebrations
- Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that
- The Republicans (after they’re done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They’ll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.
- There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won’t, he was a traitor insurrectionist)
- The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.
- Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.
- Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.
Like to charge, reblog to cast
Honestly? They had me at “Trump dies”.
Are you really Neil Gaiman? Why are you on Tumblr?
Nobody is really Neil Gaiman. Nobody is actually on Tumblr. I trust this clears everything up.
Neil Gaiman does not have social media.
Neil Gaiman, what are you doing EVERYWHERE?? Yesterday, you were in two knowledge bowl questions- one involved a reading from a passage in Stardust, and the other was “Which novel, written by Neil Gaiman, published in 2001-” (I didn’t hear the rest of the question before I was shaking my teammate to hit the buzzer). And then, this morning, your name was one of the answer options to a radio show question about who wrote a Dolly Parton song. Sadly you did not write a Dolly Parton song.
Whew!
I'm sorry to disillusion people but Neil Gaiman is made up. He's "everywhere" for the same reason mall Santas are everywhere. People dress up as Neil Gaiman and go to bookstores and conventions and run social media accounts to spread joy to all the young adults and queer people. But he's not real. Neil Gaiman is more like a feeling. In Scandinavia he's known as Nail Guaymin and he leaves books in people's shoes every November 10th.
I can't believe there are still people thinking Neil Gaiman is real. Just recently there were articles of him being sighted in Australia. As if such a prolific author would risk get eaten by dropbears. In The Czech Republic he's known as Nýl Gejmen and every November 10th we drink only dark lager instead of normal beer.
In Finland Niilo Hömömies comes to your house on the 10th and hands out the books himself. It can be pretty expensive to hire someone who dresses up as him for your family, but it's a much loved tradition here so we're ready to use a little money to bring joy to the children. It's worth it, most people think.
In Spain, children invite Neil to visit by putting their most precocious prose and drawings into letters, and then he visits them in triplicate as the "three wise Neils" on November 10. (I don't know why, his honorary birthday is just a very busy day for all his impersonators.)
english-history-trip:elodieunderglass: mattieartemis: OH MY GOD...
OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS POSTCARD FROM 1880 IN THE MANCHESTER MUSEUM ARCHIVES
“festive image of Pleistocene mammals”
“a rink in the glacial period”
THIS IMAGE HAS SINGLE-HANDEDLY PUT ME IN THE FESTIVE MOOD
MERRY CHRISTMAS
That’s a vibe
I think we can all agree these guys have had to sit still for too long!
aveloka-draws: pomegranate-flower: Could...
Couldn’t stop thinking about that tweet, I love the idea of a god promoting his faith.
“Welcome to my Weirdhouse.”
Lollybagscreationsgods I love her
“Welcome to my Weirdhouse.”
me: oh this movie takes place in the futuristic year of 2021. Let’s see what their world is like.
me: oh this movie takes place in the futuristic year of 2021. Let’s see what their world is like.
johnny mnemonic: Second decade of the 21st century. Corporations rule. The world is threatened by a new plague
me: 🥴
Activists in Tasmania have stuck up more honest promo stickers inside Coles & Woolworths stores, the…
LollybagscreationsI didn't think Wil would ever know about Coles....
Activists in Tasmania have stuck up more honest promo stickers inside Coles & Woolworths stores, the two dominant supermarket chains in Australia.
the-haiku-bot:foone:88floors:Retro Technology LEGO Kits by Chris...
Retro Technology LEGO Kits by Chris McVeigh
Fun fact about this: Chris McVeigh no longer sells these custom kits. You might think “aww, did Lego send him a cease-and-desist or something?”
NOPE! They hired him. He’s an official Lego set designer now.
I’ve got his Old PC Ornament kit:
And his My Old Desktop: DOS Edition:
NOPE! They hired him.
He’s an official Lego
set designer now.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar, because media work is especially recession-vulnerable.
LollybagscreationsWhat good is an intrusive castle moment if you can't pelt your enemies with arrows from it?
Howdy folks! Sorry for the delay, I was, uhhhh covering the Tour de France. Anyway, I’m back in Chicago which means this blog has returned to the Chicago suburbs. I’m sure you’ve all seen Barbie at this point so this 2019 not-so-dream house will come as a pleasant (?) surprise.
Yeah. So this $2.4 million, 7 bed, 8.5+ bath house is over 15,000 square feet and let me be frank: that square footage is not allocated in any kind of efficient or rational manner. It’s just kind of there, like a suburban Ramada Inn banquet hall. You think that by reading this you are prepared for this, but no, you are not.
Scale (especially the human one) is unfathomable to the people who built this house. They must have some kind of rare spatial reasoning problem where they perceive themselves to be the size of at least a sedan, maybe a small aircraft. Also as you can see they only know of the existence of a single color.
Ok, but if you were eating a single bowl of cereal alone where would you sit? Personally I am a head of the table type person but I understand that others might be more discreet.
It is undeniable that they put the “great” in great room. You could race bicycles in here. Do roller derby. If you gave this space to three anarchists you would have a functioning bookshop and small press in about a week.
The island bit is so funny. It’s literally so far away it’s hard to get them in the same image. It is the most functionally useless space ever. You need to walk half a mile to get from the island to the sink or stove.
Of course, every McMansion has a room just for television (if not more than one room) and yet this house fails even to execute that in a way that matters. Honestly impressive.
The rug placement here is physical comedy. Like, they know they messed up.
Bling had a weird second incarnation in the 2010s HomeGoods scene. Few talk about this.
Honestly I think they should have scrapped all of this and built a bowling alley or maybe a hockey rink. Basketball court. A space this grand is wasted on sports of the table variety.
You would also think that seeing the rear exterior of this house would help to rationalize how it’s planned but:
Not really.
Anyways, thanks for coming along for another edition of McMansion Hell. I’ll be back to regular posting schedule now that the summer is over so keep your eyes peeled for more of the greatest houses to ever exist. Be sure to check the Patreon for today’s bonus posts.
Also P.S. - I’m the architecture critic for The Nation now, so check that out, too!
If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar, because media work is especially recession-vulnerable.